What do you do that cancels our your NFL/AP/CRUNCHY/NON-Mainstream/MDCness? - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#121 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 02:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
~Charlie's~Angel~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 4,505
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I will say it again.  I DO NOT ADVOCATE CIRCING.  Sheesh.  I also said I smoke, but I dont see anyone assuming that I think everyone should smoke. 

 

My story.  I do not have a penis and my husband does.  My husband and his brothers are all circed.  I had enough hoops to jump through with all the vaxing research and decisions I was making that I let my husband make the decision about what to do with our sons penises.  Thats all.  I would bet a kajillion dollars that if I opened that pandoras box, I would be appalled at what I find, as would my husband, and any future children we bare would be left intact.  Ive already planted the seed after we watched a show on TLC one night.  A man was trying to regnerate his foreskin, and some numbers were thrown out about how many men in the US and other countries were actually living with forskin.  My husband was amazed, as every man he has ever known is cut.  (atleast to the best of his knowledge ;)

 

The end.

~Charlie's~Angel~ is offline  
#122 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 03:00 PM
 
dauphinette's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: lalaland
Posts: 406
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)



 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dar View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by AFWife View Post





 
 And I guess I don't get the point of a thread to list the non AP/NPL stuff people do - it almost feels like people are trying to rebel against.... something. AP/NPL? Are people looking for high-5s or something for refusing to be AP/NFL in certain areas? I find myself nonplussed...


Glad i'm not the only one.

 

It seems to me there is some rebeling and catty-ness but it kinda feels like it is coming from the side that is protesting MDC so much.  I dunno, it never really occured to me to come to MDC to find friends, I just kinda come for the advice I need and then go about my life.
 

 

dauphinette is offline  
#123 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 03:02 PM
 
sosurreal09's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 3,446
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


In case it wasn't clear my responses weren't towards you if you meant that towards me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Charlie's~Angel~ View Post

I will say it again.  I DO NOT ADVOCATE CIRCING.  Sheesh.  I also said I smoke, but I dont see anyone assuming that I think everyone should smoke. 

 

My story.  I do not have a penis and my husband does.  My husband and his brothers are all circed.  I had enough hoops to jump through with all the vaxing research and decisions I was making that I let my husband make the decision about what to do with our sons penises.  Thats all.  I would bet a kajillion dollars that if I opened that pandoras box, I would be appalled at what I find, as would my husband, and any future children we bare would be left intact.  Ive already planted the seed after we watched a show on TLC one night.  A man was trying to regnerate his foreskin, and some numbers were thrown out about how many men in the US and other countries were actually living with forskin.  My husband was amazed, as every man he has ever known is cut.  (atleast to the best of his knowledge ;)

 

The end.



 


 Young born-again mama and loving wife peace.gif to DH jammin.gif and SAHP to two crazy girls dust.gifwehomebirth.jpgfly-by-nursing2.gifslinggirl.giffamilybed1.gif and believe gd.giflactivist.gif  signcirc1.gif !

sosurreal09 is offline  
#124 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 03:05 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,028
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by dauphinette View Post



I had a UC Ldavis, lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Sorry, that cracked me up and I don't know why...............Um, but that is a very specific sub-board and if you don't want a UC, aren't going to have UC and don't like the idea of UC then you don't really ever have to read that board.....but I'm talking about the more common boards here on MDC where moms that are more middle of the road would have reason to hang out.  I don't really hang out on sub-boards that aren't pertaining to subjects that have to do directly with my life/interests.

 

 


Ok, I'm not really surprised by that.

 

Ldavis24 is offline  
#125 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 03:08 PM
 
Linda on the move's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: basking in the sunshine
Posts: 10,676
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 67 Post(s)

I drive a Jeep Cherokee and I can't wait for school to start!

 

(I love time with my kids, but right now I just drive them one place and then another and then another. I like just walking them to school and them doing interesting things there FOR HOURS without me having to take them to different locations)

 

PS: neither of my kids is circ'd, but they are both girls so I don't know if I get points for that


but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

Linda on the move is online now  
#126 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 03:19 PM
 
dauphinette's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: lalaland
Posts: 406
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)



 

Quote:
Originally Posted by jezebelle View Post

I don't understand why people are upset about this thread.

 

I see it much the same way I would see a thread about "cheating" on a weight loss board.

 

People on weight loss boards often post about the chocolate bar they ate that ruined their calorie count, and they get empathy because everyone makes mistakes and they are still trying.

 

That's how I see this thread.  As a sort of, "sure, we all aren't perfect, and here is how I am not perfect, but at least we are trying to be more natural, so we are still okay, now let's all have a group hug" type of thread.

 

If we didn't support AP/NFL, we would just leave MDC.

 

No one here is advocating anything against the TOS (at least that I have seen), so if you don't like the thread, how about you just stop reading it and let the rest of us get some things off our chests.  It makes us feel better about ourselves and our efforts to be crunchy, and that in turn allows us to be better parents and not give up AP/NFL because we see it as just too hard to be perfect.


No, I don't really see it that way at all.  I don't see these lists as confessions, I haven't really seen any of the moms making them saying that they feel bad about these choices.

And who are you to say that other MDCers cant read this thread or oppose it?

I agree with a pp that this would be better as a find-your-tribe thing and not an open thread on the parenting (NFL parenting I might add) board.
 

 

dauphinette is offline  
#127 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 03:22 PM
 
Alenushka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: CA
Posts: 1,893
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

Oh the horrros....now your Crunchy card is going to be taken away.

 

Dogma is silly.


When I see kids on the playgound I can't say whose mom was HB, CS, UC, had an epidural or not. Who co-slept and who did not. Who ahd strolelr and who had a sling. Who eat organic and who is not. Who watches TV and who is Waldorf.

 

I can  see whose mom drunk a lot whiel pregnant or whose daddy beats mommy.

 

Being a good  parent is not the same is checking every item on some "perfect Cruncky, Tiget Mother or what not " checklist.

 

 

journeymom and Drummer's Wife like this.
Alenushka is offline  
#128 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 03:31 PM
 
limabean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 9,607
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 11 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Alenushka View Post

Being a good  parent is not the same is checking every item on some "perfect Cruncky, Tiget Mother or what not " checklist.


I agree with your post, but had to crack up at "Cruncky Tiget Mother" -- I love it! ROTFLMAO.gif

 


DH+Me 1994 heartbeat.gif DS 2004 heartbeat.gif DD 2008 heartbeat.gif DDog 2014
limabean is online now  
#129 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 03:33 PM
 
lovingmommyhood's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 6,890
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Ldavis24 View Post

I like that posting how you think this thread sucks just basically proves some of the points made here in this thread.



nod.gif


Mommy to THREE sweet boys & ONE sweet girl + a newb due in February!  I need a nap. 
lovingmommyhood is offline  
#130 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 03:35 PM
 
Drummer's Wife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Land of Enchantment
Posts: 11,793
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by dauphinette View Post



 


No, I don't really see it that way at all.  I don't see these lists as confessions, I haven't really seen any of the moms making them saying that they feel bad about these choices.

And who are you to say that other MDCers cant read this thread or oppose it?

I agree with a pp that this would be better as a find-your-tribe thing and not an open thread on the parenting (NFL parenting I might add) board.
 

 

 

 

Except that there is no requirement that every member do all things in their life AP/NFL/whatever.  So, of course, unless you are the perfect (extreme) natural family living parent, you are going to be able to list several things that you don't happen to include in your life.  Whether it's by choice - such as using flushable toilet paper... or necessity - such as a c-section.  All those differences are what makes the world (and message boards like MDC) an interesting place.  If we all conformed and did everything the same, it would be pretty damn lame. 

 

 

Our ideals are all the same - raise happy, healthy children. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And I wish I had a Hummer, so there.  orngtongue.gif
 

 


ribboncesarean.gif cesareans happen.
Drummer's Wife is offline  
#131 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 03:39 PM
 
lovingmommyhood's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 6,890
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by dauphinette View Post



 


No, I don't really see it that way at all.  I don't see these lists as confessions, I haven't really seen any of the moms making them saying that they feel bad about these choices.

And who are you to say that other MDCers cant read this thread or oppose it?

I agree with a pp that this would be better as a find-your-tribe thing and not an open thread on the parenting (NFL parenting I might add) board.
 

 



Trust me, I think most of us are aware that there are people who will oppose this. Six months ago this thread would have been deleted in the first five minutes. It shouldn't be allowed as an open thread? Yes, wouldn't want to pollute the perfect waters. nut.gif

~Charlie's~Angel~ likes this.

Mommy to THREE sweet boys & ONE sweet girl + a newb due in February!  I need a nap. 
lovingmommyhood is offline  
#132 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 03:46 PM
 
APToddlerMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,173
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by dauphinette View Post

 I don't see these lists as confessions, I haven't really seen any of the moms making them saying that they feel bad about these choices.

 


I've actually agreed with a lot of what you've said dauphinette, but if it seems like no moms are feeling bad about choices they've confessed, I think that is because you're right.  Nobody is feeling bad about any of the choices they've made and posted here.  Because--I am assuming, the choices have been made because it is what works for each of us.  It is more of a "I'm confessing that I am not actually perfect instead of hiding behind the facade that I believe in every single thing posted on MDC and also have the resources and energy to practice is."  I like this thread for that.  I don't want all of MDC to be one big confession of "it turns out I'm really not crunchy at all", though.  I still love MDC for what it stood for when I joined, but it is nice once in a while to admit we're all not perfect and not feel guilty about it.  We are all human after all.   
 

 

APToddlerMama is offline  
#133 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 03:47 PM
 
2lilsweetfoxes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: My own little world...
Posts: 1,359
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by dauphinette View Post



 


No, I don't really see it that way at all.  I don't see these lists as confessions, I haven't really seen any of the moms making them saying that they feel bad about these choices.

And who are you to say that other MDCers cant read this thread or oppose it?

I agree with a pp that this would be better as a find-your-tribe thing and not an open thread on the parenting (NFL parenting I might add) board.
 

 

Maybe because the moms do NOT feel bad about the particular choices they have made.  I find parenthood to be a constant ebb and flow.  They exit one stage and enter another.  What worked for one child within a family does not work for the next.  How many of us had wonderful, easy, go-with-the-flow, smiley first babies that serenely nursed to sleep and slept with mommy all night long and just patted ourselves on the back for our Mad Parenting Skillz...this is so easy, do this and your life is easy.  Then, the next child is so the opposite:  strong-willed, insists on sleeping a-l-o-n-e and needs to fuss a minute or two before sleeping (and how many of us will rock that child for hours, when he can be put down and be asleep within 5-10 minutes), then will wake at 7, breakfast at 7:30, nap at 10, lunch at 11:30--you know, you must keep the schedule to the minute or you are dealing with the wrath of the baby.  What works for one family does not work for the next.
And, I do get a lot out of MDC, which is why I keep coming back and participating in the community.  And, sometimes I think some moms are so "invested" in the "AP Checklist", that they don't want to admit something does not work (think the baby that hates co-sleeping and mommy had been looking so forward to it, or when breastfeeding does not work out, or mom planned a peaceful UC only to end up in the hospital for an emergency c-section, or due to whatever reasons--economy/finances, husband loses job and can't find another, he gets disabled, he leaves, she just plain likes her job, mom has to make the decision to return to work,  partner does not support AP/NFL.)
 

 

2lilsweetfoxes is offline  
#134 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 03:49 PM
 
2lilsweetfoxes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: My own little world...
Posts: 1,359
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)



 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife View Post


 

 

 

Except that there is no requirement that every member do all things in their life AP/NFL/whatever.  So, of course, unless you are the perfect (extreme) natural family living parent, you are going to be able to list several things that you don't happen to include in your life.  Whether it's by choice - such as using flushable toilet paper... or necessity - such as a c-section.  All those differences are what makes the world (and message boards like MDC) an interesting place.  If we all conformed and did everything the same, it would be pretty damn lame. 

 

 

Our ideals are all the same - raise happy, healthy children. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And I wish I had a Hummer, so there.  orngtongue.gif
 

 



Want to drive a Hummer?  Join the Army--they have plenty.  :lol

 

2lilsweetfoxes is offline  
#135 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 03:58 PM
 
homeschoolingmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 958
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

I love epidurals!  LOVE them!  I use disposable diapers and I do not like to baby wear.  I need my space.  Out and about I would but around the house...no.

lovingmommyhood likes this.
homeschoolingmama is offline  
#136 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 04:08 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 109
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by dauphinette View Post



 


No, I don't really see it that way at all.  I don't see these lists as confessions, I haven't really seen any of the moms making them saying that they feel bad about these choices.

And who are you to say that other MDCers cant read this thread or oppose it?

I agree with a pp that this would be better as a find-your-tribe thing and not an open thread on the parenting (NFL parenting I might add) board.
 

 



Please read the quote again.  I didn't say you "can't" do anything.  I am suggesting that you do the same thing you are saying you do and stay out of areas you aren't interested in.  If you are so opposed to going against the NFL grain, why are you in this thread??  If you can't contribute to the conversation we are having, why are you posting?

 

lovingmommyhood likes this.
jezebelle is offline  
#137 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 04:36 PM
 
mamaboss's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: beneath the pale blue sky
Posts: 122
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I have to laugh at how the most random threads turn into crazy debates! 

 

Anyway:

We used regular diapers (and wrapped the poopy ones in plastic grocery bags!) and I can't see myself cloth-anything.

I let my kid play with toy guns--and got called out because my views weren't MDC-enough or whatever...

We eat a lot of crap but we do try to balance it out with good stuff.

Basically tons of what other people have said but my brain is too fried to think of things right now. 

Oh, and I can't stand the word "crunchy" as an adjective.

 

 

 

mamaboss is offline  
#138 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 04:56 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 109
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I am really learning a lot from this thread.  I had no idea that using toys was considered against natural parenting.  I guess they have to be made of wood?  Which kind of makes me wonder what people who are against plastic toys feed their babies with?  Wooden spoons?  Wooden bowls?  Do they all cook in wooden pots, too?  I'm not being sarcastic, I am genuinely intrigued by people that don't sit their babies in anything plastic all day.  I am kind of confused by some of it, but at least I have learned that these topics are touchy.  wink1.gif

jezebelle is offline  
#139 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 04:57 PM
 
savithny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,820
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Yes, you coudl tell all these "mainstreamers" at MDC to go away and find themselves a mainstream board.

 

But the fact is, there are differences of opinion about what is "mainstream," and what constitutes "AP" and what constitutes "natural living."  And invariably, people who come here for one thing (breastfeeding advice, or natural childbirth advice, or sleeping without CIO advice) run into people who have little checklists in their heads about "THE ONE WAY TO DO THIS."

 

So the person who wants advice on breastfeeding posts a generic question, and gets jumped on for being a big, mean, mother-led weaner.  "Don't Ask Don't Refuse is a weaning technique, mama!"   A person who posts about having weaned might get told that all her child's issues are due to that and she should relactate.   People asking for advice on potty training get told that even their cloth diapers are abusive and REAL AP parents are all into EC now.    

 

All these practices exist on a continuum, and it seems like often, there's a vocal minority at one end of the continuum, berating people, as though the object of being at MDC is to urge people on, like lemmings, off the edge of the world.  From Breast is Best, to "Aim for 2 years," to "let them decide when to wean."  From "Unmedicated labor is healthiest for the baby," to "Homebirth is the only way to have a good birth," to "Any birth attendant is unnatural!"      From "Spanking is wrong," to "Timeouts are bad," to "Saying no is harmful," to "expressing any opinion on your child's behavior is manipulative behaviorism."  From "public schools aren't very invidualistic," to "Homeschool so you're never separated from your kids," to "parents even suggesting books to kids destroys their intellectual development."

 

And there's always someone waiting in the wings to tell someone who they perceive as "behind" them on each of those paths that they're doing it wrong.   A lot of people can't accept that not everyone *wants* to push every aspect of this to the ultimate limit, and that for many people, that extreme position is *not* the best for their family, health, or community.

 

For the record:

I mother-led weaned both my kids, one at 18 months, the second at 2.

I used a pacifier with one of my kids.

I am in love with both the concept of Free Appropriate Public Education *and* the way it is executed in my home town.

I birthed med-free in the hospital with CNMs.  Despite that, I had a full-on Odent-style FER, in which my 10-pounder fell out of me in one contraction.   Hah.

I vaccinate.  yes, I've done the research.  For real.   

I think GMOs are probably going to be necessary to feed the growing world population.

My kids went to daycare and I'm not ashamed of that fact, nor do I think working is incompatible with raising attached children.


savithny, 42 year old moderate mom to DS Primo (age 12) and DD Secunda (age 9).

savithny is offline  
#140 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 05:08 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 109
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by savithny View Post

Yes, you coudl tell all these "mainstreamers" at MDC to go away and find themselves a mainstream board.

 

But the fact is, there are differences of opinion about what is "mainstream," and what constitutes "AP" and what constitutes "natural living."  And invariably, people who come here for one thing (breastfeeding advice, or natural childbirth advice, or sleeping without CIO advice) run into people who have little checklists in their heads about "THE ONE WAY TO DO THIS."

 

So the person who wants advice on breastfeeding posts a generic question, and gets jumped on for being a big, mean, mother-led weaner.  "Don't Ask Don't Refuse is a weaning technique, mama!"   A person who posts about having weaned might get told that all her child's issues are due to that and she should relactate.   People asking for advice on potty training get told that even their cloth diapers are abusive and REAL AP parents are all into EC now.    

 

All these practices exist on a continuum, and it seems like often, there's a vocal minority at one end of the continuum, berating people, as though the object of being at MDC is to urge people on, like lemmings, off the edge of the world.  From Breast is Best, to "Aim for 2 years," to "let them decide when to wean."  From "Unmedicated labor is healthiest for the baby," to "Homebirth is the only way to have a good birth," to "Any birth attendant is unnatural!"      From "Spanking is wrong," to "Timeouts are bad," to "Saying no is harmful," to "expressing any opinion on your child's behavior is manipulative behaviorism."  From "public schools aren't very invidualistic," to "Homeschool so you're never separated from your kids," to "parents even suggesting books to kids destroys their intellectual development."

 

And there's always someone waiting in the wings to tell someone who they perceive as "behind" them on each of those paths that they're doing it wrong.   A lot of people can't accept that not everyone *wants* to push every aspect of this to the ultimate limit, and that for many people, that extreme position is *not* the best for their family, health, or community.

 

For the record:

I mother-led weaned both my kids, one at 18 months, the second at 2.

I used a pacifier with one of my kids.

I am in love with both the concept of Free Appropriate Public Education *and* the way it is executed in my home town.

I birthed med-free in the hospital with CNMs.  Despite that, I had a full-on Odent-style FER, in which my 10-pounder fell out of me in one contraction.   Hah.

I vaccinate.  yes, I've done the research.  For real.   

I think GMOs are probably going to be necessary to feed the growing world population.

My kids went to daycare and I'm not ashamed of that fact, nor do I think working is incompatible with raising attached children.



I...I think I love you.

 

jezebelle is offline  
#141 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 05:28 PM
 
mommy212's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Tacoma, WA
Posts: 620
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by APToddlerMama View Post





That is a perfect example of the kind of spankings that have people all hysterical on these boards about MDC not being inclusive.  This thread was meant to be a light hearted "we're not all perfect" place to share, not a place to get criticized. 

 



 



Quote:
Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama View Post

I guess I just dont understand why someone would feel the need to brag about how much they are using up natural resources for no particular reason other than they "love" it.

And to be fair, this thread was started in direct response of the "you might NOT be a mainstream parent if....," where things that people were saying over there were being criticized, even though it was stated over and over again that the thread was started for fun
 
Please step down off your high horse
mommy212 is offline  
#142 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 05:28 PM
 
lovingmommyhood's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 6,890
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by APToddlerMama View Post




I've actually agreed with a lot of what you've said dauphinette, but if it seems like no moms are feeling bad about choices they've confessed, I think that is because you're right.  Nobody is feeling bad about any of the choices they've made and posted here.  Because--I am assuming, the choices have been made because it is what works for each of us.  It is more of a "I'm confessing that I am not actually perfect instead of hiding behind the facade that I believe in every single thing posted on MDC and also have the resources and energy to practice is."  I like this thread for that.  I don't want all of MDC to be one big confession of "it turns out I'm really not crunchy at all", though.  I still love MDC for what it stood for when I joined, but it is nice once in a while to admit we're all not perfect and not feel guilty about it.  We are all human after all.   
 

 


nod.gif Well said.

 


Mommy to THREE sweet boys & ONE sweet girl + a newb due in February!  I need a nap. 
lovingmommyhood is offline  
#143 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 05:37 PM
 
new2this's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 282
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

This one has been just as interesting as the other one. 

 

With that said both DH and I parent the way we feel is right and with what works for us. We research what we feel needs to other areas we are okay with not doing the research and just making a choice. We make changes when we need to and are always open to other ideas. We try to live a more environment friendly lifestyle but there are just some things that I don't do and I am okay with that. 

 

I would say what sets me apart from most on the boards

Would be the way we eat compared to most. We don't do organic. I do cook about 98% of our meals and no box meals but I'm not real big on label reading. Love meat. 

We use paper products of all kinds. Its just easier at times. 

Very much into the girly frilly pink stuff DD. I like it and so I get to chose right now till she says otherwise. 

Lots of plastic toys. 

Stroller, bouncer, swing, jump a roo all life savers. 

Do no baby wear at all. Tried did not work. 

DD is on formula now. I dried up and well I just can't use donated milk. It crosses my comfort line. 

I do not and will not NIP. I will sit in the bathroom first if I had to or go out to the car. 

Disposable diapers. Thought about cloth diapering and well to much work for me. I hate laundry the way it is so why create more for myself.

If we have a boy he will be circd. Done the research to a certain extent and still come out from that saying its what is best for us and our boy. 

While not CIO. We did do a form of sleep training but was not harsh at all and for the most part she lead it.  

I was not going to be a human pacifier so DD got a pacifier. (but she couldn't figure out how to nurse and not get milk so it kinda worked out.) I had over supply issues pretty much till I dried up. 

Had a hospital birth with an epidural ( I tried to do it natural but couldn't do it). Best thing ever for me. But I had a Midwife and she was awesome followed everything I wanted like skin to skin right away, delayed cord clamping and as little checks as possible. This birth will be with an epidural, but seeing a normal Dr. Not OB or Midwife. (kinda bothers me but unless I want to pay I have no say) but so far from my discussions they will follow what I want so I am okay with it. 

 

 

new2this is offline  
#144 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 05:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
~Charlie's~Angel~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 4,505
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

bow2.gif

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by jezebelle View Post





I...I think I love you.

 



 

~Charlie's~Angel~ is offline  
#145 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 05:54 PM
 
Cyllya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 542
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Is it weird that I'm not really crunchy or AP at all, and I don't feel unwelcome at MDC? (At least I feel un-crunchy and un-AP compared to most people here. I guess I'm actually pretty middle-of-the-road.) I'm actually just here for future reference, so maybe I'd be more sensitive if I already had kids.

 

It seems there are only a few "rules" for fitting in with the MDC crowd, as far as I can tell: don't physically assault your child, don't use CIO, don't amputate any of your infant's healthy body parts, give human milk if you can, rear-face the car seat, if you ever broke any of those treat it as a mistake, and use the bag.gif smiley if you admit to eating at McDonald's. Homeschooling, letting your kids play with toy guns, letting your kids watch TV, giving birth at home, using a sling, eating sugar, eating meat, eating gluten, leaving your kid in a room alone with your dog, wanting your schoolkid to have homework, giving your kid such and such a vaccine, giving your kid Tylenol, taking Tylenol when in labor, etc all seem to have proponents on each side.

 

(My least-MDC-ish aspect is that I make video games and plan to do so for a living someday.)

Cyllya is offline  
#146 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 06:03 PM
 
savithny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,820
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by APToddlerMama View Post




I've actually agreed with a lot of what you've said dauphinette, but if it seems like no moms are feeling bad about choices they've confessed, I think that is because you're right.  Nobody is feeling bad about any of the choices they've made and posted here.  Because--I am assuming, the choices have been made because it is what works for each of us.  It is more of a "I'm confessing that I am not actually perfect instead of hiding behind the facade that I believe in every single thing posted on MDC and also have the resources and energy to practice is."  I like this thread for that.  I don't want all of MDC to be one big confession of "it turns out I'm really not crunchy at all", though.  I still love MDC for what it stood for when I joined, but it is nice once in a while to admit we're all not perfect and not feel guilty about it.  We are all human after all.   
 

 

 

I'll agree, and I'll take this one step farther.    The point of many people on this thread is that you don't have to take everything to the Nth degree in order to *be* perfect.  And perhaps, there is in fact no such thing as "perfect."  

 

And the first boldest statement?  Is what people are trying to get across.  There are people here with checklists in their heads of what AP or NFL *must* include, and if you don't do it all, you should feel bad about it.   Right here, in this thread, people are being told that if you don't live up to some standard of perfection, you should feel bad.  You should, apparently, feel ashamed of cribs, strollers, pacifiers and public school.

 

Funny, I've not actually seen that instruction in Dr. Sears.   Must have missed that page.

 

 


savithny, 42 year old moderate mom to DS Primo (age 12) and DD Secunda (age 9).

savithny is offline  
#147 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 06:05 PM
 
Viriditas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,483
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Ldavis24 View Post




of course you did.

 

 

I thought this thread was all about creating LESS snark and judgement on these boards.  This remark seems very uncalled for.  And although I've stayed out of this thread, I have to say that your original "Have you been to the UC forum (read: Hey, you haven't seen weird until you've seen all those crazy whackadoos over in the UC forum)" comment was pretty rude, too.

 

At first I was going to post on this thread about all the non-AP/NFL things I do, but it's getting pretty negative and super, super defensive, so I'm just going to stay out of it. 
 

 

Viriditas is offline  
#148 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 06:06 PM
 
Bena's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 747
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr.Worm View Post

 And I have to point out, that I often do on these boards, that even Dr. Sears says in his books that AP is not a checklist of do's and dont's..its about doing what's best for your family.  He must get frustrated and sad about how mothers treat each other like they are terrible for not quite following all the AP rules.


yes, yes and yes!

 

Bena is offline  
#149 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 06:25 PM
 
Emma Bryan Fuller's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Caribbean
Posts: 137
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I will play too :)    I usually just lurk on the homeschool forums!

 

I love bleach

 

I use store wipes, tampons, paper towels

 

I had 3 c-sections. First was an emergency....but loved them all :) I have been flamed already don't worry :)

 

I LOVE cloth diapers so, for me sposies may have worked out cheaper :)

 

I would like to use more natural cleaning products. Also, never yell and be more calm. I would also like us to eat healthier. I did give up coffee a month ago though :)  I would like to have a generally more natural household and often read here and get ideas to strive towards it.

 

I have had many years of support here right from breastfeeding and now homeschooling.

I have pretty much been told I am not welcome due to my c-secs. Sometimes I feel like I don't fit when I read ridiculous posts " I feel sorry for my circed husband" (I do not circ) but still found this odd. Also, a woman who needed ways to cope with her relatives upcoming birth incase it resulted in a c sec. I think that some people feel so special because of the choices that they have made that is excludes others and makes them feel inferior....or that's their plan??? They would hate a/p to become mainstream.  There is such a multi cultural group here that to many not circing is normal and so is childbirth at home and extended nursing. The funny thing is that when you kids get older you kind of lose that identity as the Moms at the baseball game do not ask how long you nursed for etc.

 

I do not know what I am getting at. I am comfortable with my choices and have areas I would like to improve. If you need to attack others or compare, it's your baggage, not theirs.

pink gal likes this.

selectivevax.gifbfolderchild.gifdelayedvax.giffemalesling.GIFhomeschool.gifnocirc.giffamilybed2.gifcd.gifsurf.gif     t.v. free  
 
Living happily on a little island in the sun
Emma Bryan Fuller is offline  
#150 of 468 Old 06-14-2011, 06:50 PM
 
PhoenixMommaToTwo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Formerly of AZ, now in Nebraska
Posts: 320
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I think the point was to point out the differences in all of us. There is no set "crunchy" standard (I hate that word too). I don't identify as either mainstream or crunchy or AP or NFL. I'm just a parent. Period. I make informed decisions for my family. And I do the best I can. Just like all of you are trying to do. The problem in trying to fit everyone into your perfect ideal of AP is that not everyone is and there are some who kill themselves trying to do it. How many posts have you seen from moms just at the end of their rope, looking for affirmation that it is indeed okay to set your crying baby down for a few minutes in a safe situation to take a parental time out and the responses have just ripped them to shreds? Or pushed them to just keep holding on, no matter the detriment to your mental health. You identify spanking, CIO and kool-aid in a bottle as dangerous, negligent parenting, I say that it's dangerous, negligent posting to sit behind a computer screen and make a person who is already in a vulnerable position feel so low about themselves that they have serious mental effects. I've seen it happen. Time and again. I stick because I can find resources for questions that either I have or someone in my life does. I take breaks form MDC because of those reasons.

 

Also, so off topic, but how are wood toys greener? Don't they use trees to make them? No snark. Just an observation.


"We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect."
Ambrose Bierce 
PhoenixMommaToTwo is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off