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What do you do that cancels our your NFL/AP/CRUNCHY/NON-Mainstream/MDCness?

23K views 466 replies 105 participants last post by  erigeron 
#1 ·
Go ahead. Knock yourself out. Feel free to let loose and come clean! Here, I'll start.

I dont vax, but both my boys are circed.

I will not buy canned anything, but the fruits and veggies I do buy are store bough, NON ORGANIC.

We eat meat. LOTS OF MEAT.

I will give ABX for an ear infection, chased with probiotics in the non organic, 2% milk or GASP Silk.

I feed my children McDonalds chicken nuggets while we are on the way to the zoo.

I nursed as long as I could with both, but had to give bottles at 6 weeks so I could go back to work.

I smoke. Its a nasty habbit I wish I had never started as a teenager. I have tried quitting several times. (Obviously)

OK, theres Charlies Angel in a nutshell. FYI, this is not ALL of who I am.
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#27 ·
I do think there are different levels of "AP'ness" (I'm not wording that correctly at all, I'll try to explain.

There are some things that Mothering stands for, and is pretty unequivocal about it's stance- physical punishment is one, not using CIO is another, not circ'ing is another.

There are other things that are part of the AP continuum, but that aren't "necessary" if you get what I mean. Things like homeschooling (there is a forum for public schooling on MDC), cloth diapering (talk of sposies are ok), co-sleeping (you can sleep separately and not cio), and vaxing (there is a forum for people who choose to vax). Doing those things does NOT make you un-AP. They can exist within AP. AP is about how you relate to your kids, and treat your kids.

And then there are other things that are more NFL than AP, like eating organic and recycling. Doing those things don't make you un-AP, though they might have something to do with your NFL-ness. I don't know, because those things are barely on my radar.

And before anyone thinks that I'm all...whatever...thinking I'm better than anyone, I'm definitely not the "most AP of them all." Ds1 was circ'ed before I knew better, I spanked him (and regret it), he's happily in public school, and we'll get some vaxes.

The TOS of MDC says:

Quote:
Mothering.com is the website of natural family living and advocates natural solutions to parenting challenges. We host discussion of nighttime parenting, loving discipline, gentle weaning, natural birth, homebirth, successful breastfeeding, alternative and complementary home remedies, informed consent and many other topics from a natural point of view. We are not interested, however, in hosting discussions that advocate crying it out, harsh sleep training, physical punishment, formula feeding, elective cesarean section, routine infant medical circumcision, or mandatory vaccinations as a parenting philosophy.
Quote:

Originally Posted by lovingmommyhood View Post

You may not care about those things but it is a big bone of contention around here, in general. In a recent thread formula feeding by choice was likened to child abuse.

ETA: I do think it's ill advised to forward face a ten month old...
Some people are extreme about the things that they are passionate about. It's easy on message boards to be "mean" to people and forget to care about their feelings, because you aren't looking straight at a person, kwim? It doesn't mean it's right, of course. And I think people make exaggerated comparisons to make a point. It seems to me, though, that their point is lost in the extremeness of it (like insinuating that formula feeding is abuse- that's not going to convert anyone, I don't think). As far as formula feeding goes, my feelings are "her body, her choice." I would hope that women would have enough information to make an informed decision (which I suppose would be leaning towards bf'ing as long as there is not a reason to the contrary).

Quote:
Originally Posted by milletpuff View Post

That's awesome that it doesn't make a difference to you. And not the norm here. It makes A LOT of difference to a lot of people if moms or dads here make different choices than the "standard" AP choices. I have found myself in tears on the regular while reading this board, feeling shamed about myself and my thoughts. About totally minor things too!
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The thing is this though. You do what you do because it feels right, yes? If someone else says it's wrong, so what? You might think about it a bit, then come to a conclusion that either you need to change what you do, or that you are comfortable with what you are doing. If you are happy with what you are doing, then it's ok that some random person online says it's awful. kwim?

I've had people tell me (on other boards) that they were worried for my first son's wellbeing because I wasn't cio and spanking. I got mad at them for it, sure (and it still bothers me now, 6 years later. I thought I was friends with one woman in particular). But I still felt good about what I was doing, yk?
 
#28 ·
I'll play

While I have nutritional yeast in a parmesan shaker, ( other thread) I also have cheapie Kroger brand parmesan in my kitchen too.

I smoked on numerous occasions in between DD being born and getting pg again.
I love to drink good beer, and more than one or two (though not while pg).
DD has totally eaten plenty of sugar and french fries.
I am not tandem nursing. I can not imagine it, and Im just not going to do it.
We have plastic toys. And even ones that light up and make noise.
DD used a paci for the first 6 months.
We watch movies, and so does she.
We do buy a lot of organic food, but we also have a ton of HFCS filled condiments to pour all over our food (not dds, just ours)
 
#29 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by DevaMajka View Post

The TOS of MDC says:

Quote:
Mothering.com is the website of natural family living and advocates natural solutions to parenting challenges. We host discussion of nighttime parenting, loving discipline, gentle weaning, natural birth, homebirth, successful breastfeeding, alternative and complementary home remedies, informed consent and many other topics from a natural point of view. We are not interested, however, in hosting discussions that advocate crying it out, harsh sleep training, physical punishment, formula feeding, elective cesarean section, routine infant medical circumcision, or mandatory vaccinations as a parenting philosophy.
I'm glad you posted this because I haven't read it (my bad) and I didn't realize it was this specific.

Ok, really? So MDC is not interested in hosting discussions about elective c-sections or formula feeding?

What about the fact that I had an emergency c-section because of breech and may have to choose an elective c-section with my second baby? My "choices" are to drive 2 hours for a VBAC, have an elective c-section, or have an unattended UC HBAC. What if I want to discuss the benefits vs. drawbacks of an elective c-section?

My best friend had breast cancer and gave birth due to the miracle of IVF and a donated egg, but was not able to breastfeed. She cannot discuss her formula options here? What about formula use due to adoption and fostering?

I can't help but play devil's advocate.
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#31 ·
The UA says "advocate", not that you cant discuss it at all. You can talk about why you are electing for a csection, but I think the UA is really to keep the comments such has , "Well, I had a section with all three of mine, and their heads are all perfect." Same with FF, plenty of mamas in Life with a Babe have asked for formula advice and its okay. Its really to keep people from coming here to advocate these practices, not to keep us from discussing them. For example, there a plenty of places that advocate circ, so MDC isnt going to allow people to come here and post a thread all about how circ is the best thing in the world and everyone should get their kid cut. Its not to keep you from asking why/why not to do something. As much as so many people seem to be up in arms about how MDC is "so crunchy" and how people have made them feel guilty, please remember that breastfeeding moms, NCB moms, and AP moms are all still the minority in the united states. Its NICE to have a place that doesnt advocate csections and formula. There are TONS of places that do, including most doctors offices.
 
#32 ·
I'll play!

We recently got a playpen and I LOVE it. I can do the dishes in peace without a baby on my back reaching for the knife rack or on the floor eating the dog food.

I sometimes have my nanny work when I have the day off just so that I can get a full day of me time.

I do timeouts, McD play places, infant bucket in the cart/resturaunt, stroller (a double even!), and way too much TV for everyone.

I have a bottle of formula in the pantry just in case I can't pump enough one day, and everyone who cares for my child knows i prefer that over hunger crying.

My DD1 eats the normal kid diet of everything brown, carbo loaded, and covered in cheese. She doesn't eat greens. I don't really care. She is happy. I'm happy. On the plus side she loves fruit and hates candy, so at least I'm on the mid ground health wise.

I am still an AP parent, just not a perfect one.
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. Thanks all for sharing!
 
#34 ·
i am by principal an APer and will always be an APer. but life has not allowed me to be the APer i would have liked to be. things i do or had to do was not out of choice. though i think i am more a NFL and CL parent with hairy legs but shaved underarms.
 
#35 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by lovingmommyhood View Post

I thought of another one.

I've been scorned because I think my breast milk tastes gross. I dread having to get it on my tongue. I was told I must have something wrong with me, health-wise, for this to be the case. Maybe if I were a bit more hardcore AP I would acquire a taste because breast milk is so magykal that everybody must love it!!
yeahthat.gif
Everytime I read about someone making ice cream out of thier breast milk, I gag and PRAY theirs tastes way better then mine does.
 
#36 ·
While I use vinegar to clean most of the time...that's for light cleaning. When I want something REALLY CLEAN I break out the bleach. The toilet isn't considered "clean" unless it's had caustic blue stuff swirled in it.

I turned my oldest FF at 16mo. It made for calmer car trips...and there is no way to RF someone behind DH. Poor man would be driving with the wheel in his chest otherwise.

Our TV lives in the closet...but I watch stuff on the computer all the time. DS1 loves things like Home Improvement (that old sitcom) and cartoons.

We can't afford organic (we were spending $1200/month on 2.5 people...)

My son is eating Ritz Crackers RIGHT NOW!
 
#37 ·
I am not a perfect ap/NFL mom, but mdc is where I go to be inspired and learn better ways. And yes, people get passionate because they research and see all the studies pointing out the benefits of ap/NFL. I don't think we should feel bad about ourselves but realize everyone has different circumstances and priorities.

I just stopped using my divacup. I literally can't handle it right now, when baby cries for me in the bathroom. It takes too much concentration to not make a mess, ugh. (and I can't stand pads, cloth or otherwise--again, we are all different) Real life intervenes for now. But later wasted resources and money might seem more real life to me. It just depends.( But I wouldn't come to mdc to advocate no one use a cup)

I think mommy guilt is a feminist issue but that doesn't mean mdc should let go of its values. I was once a newbie and learned and changed so much bc of this site. I will be forever grateful, even if some others are more hardcore than I, or whatever. It's not about a contest, it's about access to information you didn't even know you were missing out on, and being able to discuss your life without people jumping on you for being odd or downright offensive just bc of say cosleeping. I was run off the first board I frequented just bc I shared about (not preachy) my natural birth and babywearing. People said horrible things about me and my baby! No one ever did that to me here. Conscious parenting and living is appreciated, and I like that. But I think we should be gentle with each other, without letting go of some general values. I think it's like, when you know better, you do better-- except when you are buried by parenting/ life and then you get the least offensive fast food and look towards tomorrow, lol. It's about baby steps. I am still effecting changes. And sometimes I grab a ziplock bag (yes we use them! Not really for food so much as trash in odd situations and for keeping games and stuff neat) when I can't grab the wet bag, lol.

But a ten month old forward facing is nothing to joke about or somehow validate. Please look up internal decapitation.
 
#38 ·
I agree with this. Why are so many people feeling such a need to get these things out in a public way on a NFL forum? It seems wierd. I can agree that I am not 100% where I would like to be as a mom or family, but I come here for support to strive in that direction.

So odd to me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DevaMajka View Post

Some of these I get, and I do some of them, but I don't understand having a discussion on a NFL/ AP message board on how un-NFL and un-AP you are. Obviously, no one is perfect.

It doesn't make a lick of difference to me if someone uses sposies, formula feeds by choice, eats sugar (we do!!), eats fast food sometimes (we do), vaxes, etc etc etc.

Some of these are just sad though. I don't get why someone would admit on MDC that they hit their kids, or that they are comfortable with (illegally) front facing a baby, when (I assume) they know it's MUCH less safe to do so.
 
#39 ·
Can't even read the forward facing babies (it's not crunchy to keep your child rear facing as long as possible, it's SAFE)

We own lots of plastic toys.

I fed my still nursing, not growing toddler Formula. And weaned him to a bottle at 2. And did forcible night weaning. And left him to cry to sleep at 2 1/2.

We did BLW - and jars, because sometimes jars are easier.

We don't eat Organic unless it's on sale for less than non-organic.

I love it when I get some time away from my kids - babysitters are awesome.

I would desperately love it if my 3 month old would take a bottle.

I don't travel with cloth and think those who do are a touch crazy. (Did it once, never again!)
 
#40 ·
I feel like mothering is the best place to come for NFP/AP/GD info sharing and I would hate if it became more mainstream to please or appease the more mainstream moms. That's not the purpose of MDC IMO.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lovingmommyhood View Post

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I've not been in tears but have been upset by people jumping down my throat for not conforming to the perfect AP standard. It ticks me off how a person can just hide behind "Well, there are other mainstream boards if you want to have views like that" instead of actually considering somebody else's parenting choices as valid, for them.

Whatever happened to live and let live? Barring any actual child abuse (And no, that does not include formula feeding no matter how you slice it.) I don't see why all the extreme judgement and holier-than-thou even has to come into play.

Why not bring more "mainstream" people in from other boards so they can be exposed to new ideas instead of kicking them to the curb for not quite making that mark.
 
#41 ·
Because telling the truth has set me free. Sorry if that confuses you. BUt I didnt start THIS thread as popularity contest. I did it to come clean that I dont fit in here, nor do I fit in on mainstream boards. I dont fit in anywhere. Im a giant hodgepodge of different parenting styles, and I wanted to FINALLY be able to say it here. I have built up the courage to do so, and was creating a small space for other parents to do the same. I have learned alot from this community, and am ever grateful for it. But it also ticks me off that I might not belong here just because I dont conform to ALLL AP/NFL practises. So where should I go? Should I start my own forum? WOOPS, that would require me to spend even MORE time at the computer. Not very AP.

Im not singling you out, dauphinette. Your post just allowed me to answer the question that several posters have asked. The point of THIS THREAD was to help other parents, like myself, who dont feel good enough for this forum. I posted in nightime parenting once, back when I first found this place, and was basically told I was not being helpful for making suggestions that DIDNT include co sleeping with an 18month old attached to my breast. Guess that left a nastier taste in my mouth then I realized.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dauphinette View Post

I agree with this. Why are so many people feeling such a need to get these things out in a public way on a NFL forum? It seems wierd. I can agree that I am not 100% where I would like to be as a mom or family, but I come here for support to strive in that direction.

So odd to me.
 
#42 ·
I just dont understand what there is to prove and why here?

And I also don't understand how you could not know that you are in the majority? I actually wish more moms on MDC were crunchier/more hardcore about stuff, I find there are a lot more mainstreamers here than crazy crunchy mamas.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Charlie's~Angel~ View Post

Because telling the truth has set me free. Sorry if that confuses you. BUt I didnt start THIS thread as popularity contest. I did it to come clean that I dont fit in here, nor do I fit in on mainstream boards. I dont fit in anywhere. Im a giant hodgepodge of different parenting styles, and I wanted to FINALLY be able to say it here. I have built up the courage to do so, and was creating a small space for other parents to do the same. I have learned alot from this community, and am ever grateful for it. But it also ticks me off that I might not belong here just because I dont conform to ALLL AP/NFL practises. So where should I go? Should I start my own forum? WOOPS, that would require me to spend even MORE time at the computer. Not very AP.

Im not singling you out, dauphinette. Your post just allowed me to answer the question that several posters have asked. The point of THIS THREAD was to help other parents, like myself, who dont feel good enough for this forum. I posted in nightime parenting once, back when I first found this place, and was basically told I was not being helpful for making suggestions that DIDNT include co sleeping with an 18month old attached to my breast. Guess that left a nastier taste in my mouth then I realized.
 
#43 ·
Okay... this may end up being long... because there are lot of thoughts tumbling around in my head on this.

MDC wants a bigger internet prescence... well... if they want that so badly that they threw out their magazine and are now launching ALL efforts into web prescence, such as facebook, twitter, etc...

Then sorry, yes ALL AP/NFL is not going to be able to bring enough traffic to the site... you will get some more mainstream... you will get a good number of middle roaders, like myself, and others who were brave enough to post here.

If Mothering wants to continue making money and to thrive... and now that they are only a web prescence... I think they are going to have to be a bit more welcoming. I'm not saying to advocate CIO or hitting, whatever...

BUT! As someone else mentioned... to not condone c-section talk or formula feeding... well, it's going to ostracize a lot of Mom's... and a lot of potential members that could offer A LOT to other discussions here. We are all just trying to do the best we can as Moms.

I have seen the comments on how formula feeding is akin to child abuse. Let me tell you how awesome those comments are to someone like myself (and I know I'm not alone)... who is very pro-breastfeeding, and BF my DD as long as I could (until my milk dried up when I got pregnant)... but faced some very scary events... I got pre-eclampsia, almost died, had to have an emergency c-section, my baby almost died and could not breath on his own for weeks.... so he could not be put to the breast for weeks. I pumped round the clock... nothing like setting your alarm every 2.5 hours to pump through the night while your small babe was in an isolette at the NICU...

I did this until he was 3 months old... until something had to give. I'm a single Mom, with not the most supportive parents. I could not sustain getting up every 2 hours to feed and then pump my baby... I HAD to sleep. I also have fibromyalgia which was in a horrible flare up due to PTSD from the pre-e wonderfulness, and NO sleep, the stress of NICU, etc...

When I mentioned I just could not keep up with this pumping schedule anymore and felt I had to switch to formula to keep my sanity... did I get encouragment? Uh no... I got "talk to the LC, do this and this and this..." I DID all of that... I mean really... advocating for a Mom not to sleep at all... I had reached a point where I was unable to fully take care of myself and my 2 kids because I was so sleep deprived. I was seriously losing my mind.

It just can't be so extreme. If someone has made a non-AP/NFL decision that is right for THEIR family... they shouldn't get flamed. The fact that the person is on Mothering at all, I think speaks volumes that they obviously CARE about being a Mom and trying to do the best they can.

But the constant judging and holier than thou... and the extreme BS of equating certain choices to child abuse is NOT helpful... and MDC will one day cease to exist because there are just too many peopele with too many different circumstances to be all perfect all the time.

If MDC hasn't noticed... activity has CRASHED here. It used to be hard to keep up with the few boards I frequent... now I'm BORED because there has been no new content in days. It's sad.

Also... most of us "middle" types aren't comfortable on a full out mainstream board... For myself this is the case. I've tried a few out... MDC has always felt more like home to me... it just sadly has also felt to scornful at times too.

Being the largest mothering board on the internet... I think there can be a middle ground found that advocates AP/NFL... but also realizes we are all HUMAN and need support in all our mothering journeys. If MDC wants to regain activity and not wither and die off... I really think they have no choice but to consider this.

/end soap box rant.

*hugs* Thank you Gina for starting this thread... I think it will end up being very eye-opening.

I also agree with another PP... AP isn't being all crunchy/extreme... it's Listening and doing what is BEST for your babe. I had to FF my son in order to be a more loving and responsive Mom. That doesn't make me non-AP. I do my best with the cards I have.
 
#44 ·
Then that settles it, I guess. I should go to a more mainstream board, because my mainstreaminess is polluting the NFL/APness that is this forum. :(

Atleast I found Mother milk tonic and other BFing support here when I needed it. Maybe I will need it again someday. Or I will just FB the AWSOME mamas that I have come to befriend and LUUUUUV through this community.
 
#45 ·
Oh and for my lovely list...

I have a crib and stopped room-sharing with both kids around 5-ish months.

I FF my son. (see above rant as to why)

I can't afford to buy organic anything for DD and I.

I buy jarred baby food (which I have also seen equated to child abuse... so sorry I only have 24 hours in a day and have to work full time to support my kids) ~ This I do try to buy the organic ones.

I use sposies... again, I only have 24 hours in a day.

I don't wear son much. He loves the backpack carrier, but HATES the sling... the carrier KILLS my back. :-( I am thankful to have a stroller for long outings, or else I would not be able to go as it now really HURTS me to carry my son more than 10 minutes. (yay fibro)

Most days I would not make it to bedtime if it weren't for Caillou. :p
 
#46 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Charlie's~Angel~ View Post

Then that settles it, I guess. I should go to a more mainstream board, because my mainstreaminess is polluting the NFL/APness that is this forum. :(

Atleast I found Mother milk tonic and other BFing support here when I needed it. Maybe I will need it again someday. Or I will just FB the AWSOME mamas that I have come to befriend and LUUUUUV through this community.
If you go you have to tell me where! LOL I have yet to find a place I fit too. Love you Gina! *hugs*
 
#47 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phoenix~Mama View Post

Okay... this may end up being long... because there are lot of thoughts tumbling around in my head on this.

MDC wants a bigger internet prescence... well... if they want that so badly that they threw out their magazine and are now launching ALL efforts into web prescence, such as facebook, twitter, etc...

Then sorry, yes ALL AP/NFL is not going to be able to bring enough traffic to the site... you will get some more mainstream... you will get a good number of middle roaders, like myself, and others who were brave enough to post here.

If Mothering wants to continue making money and to thrive... and now that they are only a web prescence... I think they are going to have to be a bit more welcoming. I'm not saying to advocate CIO or hitting, whatever...

BUT! As someone else mentioned... to not condone c-section talk or formula feeding... well, it's going to ostracize a lot of Mom's... and a lot of potential members that could offer A LOT to other discussions here. We are all just trying to do the best we can as Moms.

I have seen the comments on how formula feeding is akin to child abuse. Let me tell you how awesome those comments are to someone like myself (and I know I'm not alone)... who is very pro-breastfeeding, and BF my DD as long as I could (until my milk dried up when I got pregnant)... but faced some very scary events... I got pre-eclampsia, almost died, had to have an emergency c-section, my baby almost died and could not breath on his own for weeks.... so he could not be put to the breast for weeks. I pumped round the clock... nothing like setting your alarm every 2.5 hours to pump through the night while your small babe was in an isolette at the NICU...

I did this until he was 3 months old... until something had to give. I'm a single Mom, with not the most supportive parents. I could not sustain getting up every 2 hours to feed and then pump my baby... I HAD to sleep. I also have fibromyalgia which was in a horrible flare up due to PTSD from the pre-e wonderfulness, and NO sleep, the stress of NICU, etc...

When I mentioned I just could not keep up with this pumping schedule anymore and felt I had to switch to formula to keep my sanity... did I get encouragment? Uh no... I got "talk to the LC, do this and this and this..." I DID all of that... I mean really... advocating for a Mom not to sleep at all... I had reached a point where I was unable to fully take care of myself and my 2 kids because I was so sleep deprived. I was seriously losing my mind.

It just can't be so extreme. If someone has made a non-AP/NFL decision that is right for THEIR family... they shouldn't get flamed. The fact that the person is on Mothering at all, I think speaks volumes that they obviously CARE about being a Mom and trying to do the best they can.

But the constant judging and holier than thou... and the extreme BS of equating certain choices to child abuse is NOT helpful... and MDC will one day cease to exist because there are just too many peopele with too many different circumstances to be all perfect all the time.

If MDC hasn't noticed... activity has CRASHED here. It used to be hard to keep up with the few boards I frequent... now I'm BORED because there has been no new content in days. It's sad.

Also... most of us "middle" types aren't comfortable on a full out mainstream board... For myself this is the case. I've tried a few out... MDC has always felt more like home to me... it just sadly has also felt to scornful at times too.

Being the largest mothering board on the internet... I think there can be a middle ground found that advocates AP/NFL... but also realizes we are all HUMAN and need support in all our mothering journeys. If MDC wants to regain activity and not wither and die off... I really think they have no choice but to consider this.

/end soap box rant.

*hugs* Thank you Gina for starting this thread... I think it will end up being very eye-opening.

I also agree with another PP... AP isn't being all crunchy/extreme... it's Listening and doing what is BEST for your babe. I had to FF my son in order to be a more loving and responsive Mom. That doesn't make me non-AP. I do my best with the cards I have.
Thank you for this. You said it quite well.

Actually, my April 09 DDC had a whole thread on our FB group about "things that make you not fit in on MDC" and we BONDED SO MUCH over that discussion because we figured out "OMG I'm NOT a friendless weirdo"

For myself, it's hard to fit in anywhere (like Charlie's Angel commented) because I'm not totally crunchy but crunchy enough that mainstream parents don't want to be friends with me. I have actually LOST FRIENDS over my crunchy side. There is nowhere for us.
 
#48 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by AFWife View Post

Thank you for this. You said it quite well.

Actually, my April 09 DDC had a whole thread on our FB group about "things that make you not fit in on MDC" and we BONDED SO MUCH over that discussion because we figured out "OMG I'm NOT a friendless weirdo"

For myself, it's hard to fit in anywhere (like Charlie's Angel commented) because I'm not totally crunchy but crunchy enough that mainstream parents don't want to be friends with me. I have actually LOST FRIENDS over my crunchy side. There is nowhere for us.
I have lost friends over my "crunchy" side too (co-slept at all, even though I didn't for long) and breastfeeding my DD past 6 months. Yeah. lol

It's hard being in the middle.
 
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#49 ·
Hmmmmmm, PM had an AWSOME idea. Its sounding like, better and better the more I think about it.

I love you, PM. And Kas, and Ldavis, and Rightkindofme, and every other MDC mama I have "met" in this forum that has shown me nothing but love, understanding, commiseration (that one helps the most, because lets face it, misery loves company) and support. You are my soulmates, and will forever be in my heart as the TRUE MDC family that I will always cherish!
luxlove.gif
 
#50 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phoenix~Mama View Post

Okay... this may end up being long... because there are lot of thoughts tumbling around in my head on this.

MDC wants a bigger internet prescence... well... if they want that so badly that they threw out their magazine and are now launching ALL efforts into web prescence, such as facebook, twitter, etc...

Then sorry, yes ALL AP/NFL is not going to be able to bring enough traffic to the site... you will get some more mainstream... you will get a good number of middle roaders, like myself, and others who were brave enough to post here.

If Mothering wants to continue making money and to thrive... and now that they are only a web prescence... I think they are going to have to be a bit more welcoming. I'm not saying to advocate CIO or hitting, whatever...

BUT! As someone else mentioned... to not condone c-section talk or formula feeding... well, it's going to ostracize a lot of Mom's... and a lot of potential members that could offer A LOT to other discussions here. We are all just trying to do the best we can as Moms.

I have seen the comments on how formula feeding is akin to child abuse. Let me tell you how awesome those comments are to someone like myself (and I know I'm not alone)... who is very pro-breastfeeding, and BF my DD as long as I could (until my milk dried up when I got pregnant)... but faced some very scary events... I got pre-eclampsia, almost died, had to have an emergency c-section, my baby almost died and could not breath on his own for weeks.... so he could not be put to the breast for weeks. I pumped round the clock... nothing like setting your alarm every 2.5 hours to pump through the night while your small babe was in an isolette at the NICU...

I did this until he was 3 months old... until something had to give. I'm a single Mom, with not the most supportive parents. I could not sustain getting up every 2 hours to feed and then pump my baby... I HAD to sleep. I also have fibromyalgia which was in a horrible flare up due to PTSD from the pre-e wonderfulness, and NO sleep, the stress of NICU, etc...

When I mentioned I just could not keep up with this pumping schedule anymore and felt I had to switch to formula to keep my sanity... did I get encouragment? Uh no... I got "talk to the LC, do this and this and this..." I DID all of that... I mean really... advocating for a Mom not to sleep at all... I had reached a point where I was unable to fully take care of myself and my 2 kids because I was so sleep deprived. I was seriously losing my mind.

It just can't be so extreme. If someone has made a non-AP/NFL decision that is right for THEIR family... they shouldn't get flamed. The fact that the person is on Mothering at all, I think speaks volumes that they obviously CARE about being a Mom and trying to do the best they can.

But the constant judging and holier than thou... and the extreme BS of equating certain choices to child abuse is NOT helpful... and MDC will one day cease to exist because there are just too many peopele with too many different circumstances to be all perfect all the time.

If MDC hasn't noticed... activity has CRASHED here. It used to be hard to keep up with the few boards I frequent... now I'm BORED because there has been no new content in days. It's sad.

Also... most of us "middle" types aren't comfortable on a full out mainstream board... For myself this is the case. I've tried a few out... MDC has always felt more like home to me... it just sadly has also felt to scornful at times too.

Being the largest mothering board on the internet... I think there can be a middle ground found that advocates AP/NFL... but also realizes we are all HUMAN and need support in all our mothering journeys. If MDC wants to regain activity and not wither and die off... I really think they have no choice but to consider this.

/end soap box rant.

*hugs* Thank you Gina for starting this thread... I think it will end up being very eye-opening.

I also agree with another PP... AP isn't being all crunchy/extreme... it's Listening and doing what is BEST for your babe. I had to FF my son in order to be a more loving and responsive Mom. That doesn't make me non-AP. I do my best with the cards I have.
I truely do not relate to the desire to want to morph a NFL board to a more mainstream board to make more mainstream moms comfortable to be here, then it's just any other board and that is not what makes MDC special.
 
#51 ·
It seems you all have found plenty of middle of the road support here....

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Charlie's~Angel~ View Post

Hmmmmmm, PM had an AWSOME idea. Its sounding like, better and better the more I think about it.

I love you, PM. And Kas, and Ldavis, and Rightkindofme, and every other MDC mama I have "met" in this forum that has shown me nothing but love, understanding, commiseration (that one helps the most, because lets face it, misery loves company) and support. You are my soulmates, and will forever be in my heart as the TRUE MDC family that I will always cherish!
luxlove.gif
 
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