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What do you do that cancels our your NFL/AP/CRUNCHY/NON-Mainstream/MDCness?

23K views 466 replies 105 participants last post by  erigeron 
#1 ·
Go ahead. Knock yourself out. Feel free to let loose and come clean! Here, I'll start.

I dont vax, but both my boys are circed.

I will not buy canned anything, but the fruits and veggies I do buy are store bough, NON ORGANIC.

We eat meat. LOTS OF MEAT.

I will give ABX for an ear infection, chased with probiotics in the non organic, 2% milk or GASP Silk.

I feed my children McDonalds chicken nuggets while we are on the way to the zoo.

I nursed as long as I could with both, but had to give bottles at 6 weeks so I could go back to work.

I smoke. Its a nasty habbit I wish I had never started as a teenager. I have tried quitting several times. (Obviously)

OK, theres Charlies Angel in a nutshell. FYI, this is not ALL of who I am.
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#2 ·
we have watched waaaay too much tv since little man was born- it's all I used to do at home with him
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my ds is also circed, and has been vaccinated for certain things

I have yelled before...

we eat a lot of non organic produce

ds (18 month) eats sweets when we do, and not date-sweetened tofu smoothie treats either lol
 
#4 ·
We vaccinate.

We use paper towels <gasp!>

We watch all sorts of tv and even play a video game or two.

We also use toilet paper.

We buy non-organic produce

My kids had ice cream and cotton candy tonight

I had three hospital births

Oh, big one..... we don't recycle

I'm sure there's more. I'm not super crunchy.
 
#5 ·
Thanks for starting this, Charlie's Angel!

As I mentioned in the other thread, I had a CNM birth, not a UC.

I pumped and bottle fed when my son started daycare, and I'm doing mother-led weaning now at 2.5.

We did disposable diapers because daycare wouldn't allow cloth.

I fully vax on-time, all the time, and he's taking antibiotics right now! for an ear infection that all the breastmilk sadly did not prevent.
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My son started sleeping in a crib around 10 months.

We had Chick-fil-a for dinner tonight. mmmmm, Chick-fil-a....

Edited to add: I believe time-outs are a wonderful, wonderful thing. And so is public school. For free, someone will teach my kid to read! For free, y'all!

Of course, I wouldn't say that this CANCELS out my AP-ness. As I said earlier, my son knows he is loved and cherished above all else and I'm the center of his world, which is the most important thing, is it not? Far more important than the checklists of crunchiness.
 
#6 ·
Ooooh - i like this thread!

I use chemicals to clean - including Tide and Oxy Clean on my cloth diapers

I only CD part time

i do not know what a paraben is - nor why i should avoid it.

i have my 25lb 10 month old son in a Front facing car seat and i have no plans to change it.

I often use a stroller

we watch TV all day, every day. (this is the one thing i am working on changing!)

we do not eat organic produce - although i do make all my own baby food.

whenever Oreos are on sale - i buy them.

I used to smoke - when my oldest two were little i smoked - in the house, in the car, i smoked. Of course, i didnt know what AP was back then!
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#7 ·
Okay, I'll put myself out there.

DS is circ'd, although if I had known then what I know now, he wouldn't be.

I only breastfed for three months, and it was not exclusive BF'ing because of my return to work, and not knowing how to save my supply from crashing and burning. If I could do that over again, I would change things to help keep my supply up.

DS is fully vax'd, though I did delay/stagger them. I don't regret it, and I will continue to have him vax'd basically on schedule.

I have no desire to SAHM, even if I could afford it.

I did not, do not, and will not in the future co-sleep. I did and will room-in for a while, but no family bed for me.

I will say...I am more "crunchy" now than I was when DS was born. If I am ever blessed with another baby, I will bf as long as I possibly can and do whatever I can to keep my supply up. I will use cloth diapers. I won't circ. I will make my own baby food more often than I did with DS. I will do more babywearing. I will hire a doula for my birth (which will be in a hospital, with an OB, due to insurance reasons). I have learned a lot from this community, and will take what I've learned. I just wish I was more accepted, and felt "safer" to share here.
 
#8 ·
My 3 year old is still breastfeeding, but my twin 6 month olds are bottle-fed. Formula. Not even organic formula, plain old Target brand.

The twins sleep most of the night in a different room from us.

We do not have cable, but my 3yo can navigate Netflix online like a pro. And does, a lot.

We rarely buy organic food. My 3yo drinks chocolate milk and undiluted juice.

The boys are intact and unvaxed. The girl has had several vaxes.

I use cloth diapers and mama cloth, but I also use paper towels, store bought baby wipes, toilet paper, and instead cups.

The boys' favorite toy is currently a light-up music making battery operated toy with a spinning dancing bear on top. And I love it.

My daughter recognizes and loves McDonalds.

I am a crazy babywearer, but I also own three strollers. And a wagon. They take up most of my garage. And I adore them.

My daughter was born in a hospital, with pitocin. And it wasn't awful.

My sons were born in an operating room. One of them by cesarean. And the cesarean was the less traumatic birth, by far.

And now, I am going to go eat some glazed donut holes.
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#9 ·
This thread RULEZ. Thank you. I think it helps to negate the mommy guilt and the fear that we are all doing it WRONG all the time! We ALL want the best in our lives, and hopefully we can take what we like from AP and leave the rest, without being put down or attacked.

I don't have kids so I can't fail at AP yet :p but we don't eat much organic food, we drive a lot, and I would rather pour bleach in my eyes than stay home full time (working FT is too much tho - 20 hrs per week out of the home = perfection).
 
#10 ·
Before this thread gets deleted (with warnings to all--as similar threads were under the old UA...so we'll see)

Me:

Children fully vaccinated. I will put them on antibiotics if necessary.

Kids have their own rooms, however, we may be moving the two younger back into our room (with their own beds).

We have strollers. And and Ergo and sling. Which we use depends on circumstances.

Can't afford organic.

Use disposable diapers. And cloth, but tend to grab the sposies because they are easier. I want to get the baby potty trained.

Was induced with DS on pitocin due to PROM. All children born at the hospital, with CNM.

I allow "junk food", but no artificial colors due to the kids being very sensitive to them (autistic/adhd behaviors)

I medicate DD1 for ADHD (concerta and ritalin)

DS is not circ'd.

We use various forms of discipline, to include: time outs, grounding, and spanking.

We use "non-natural" cleaning products...409, love the smell of pine-sol lemon.

We had every form of "baby-holder" one can imagine: swing, bouncy seat, jumpy-thing.
 
#11 ·
Two of my sons are circ'd though the one I'm pregnant with atm won't be.

My kids have been known to eat hot dogs.

I use tampons and toilet paper and paper towels and disposable wipes.

I drink a ton of cherry pepsi.

I selectively vax.

My kids go to public school.

We do time outs and I consider my kids to be children and not mini adults.

We room share but not co-sleep.

My babies use pacis.

We brush our teeth with floride toothpaste.

I breastfed all three kids for a year but would like to try for two this time.

I buy very little in the way of organic food.
 
#12 ·
Well, actually, all the things that people have listed are really things against natural family living. I'm only mildly crunchy and I know it. We're pretty AP in that we listen to our children's needs and adjust our parenting accordingly.

We vax ,and I'm very comfortable with that decision.

We used disposable diapers. I would have liked to use cloth, but dh was the one home with the kids when I went back to work, and he couldn't/wouldn't do it. I couldn't impose that on him.

Nutella is one of my son's staple food groups (it's also the only thing that keeps him from being completely underweight).

Sugar is known and loved in our house. My kids have consumed foods with high fructose corn syrup. They've eaten at McD's.

Ds slept in a crib until he was, gasp, FIVE. (Because we couldn't move him out of it. He loved his crib.)

We public school. You couldn't pay me to homeschool (not that I'm philosophically opposed to it, but because I would suck at it).

I never wore my kids much -- ds because he hated it (the picture below is as comfortable as he ever got) -- forward carries, mei tais, slings, wraps all freaked him out. (I learned later it was because of his hypersensitivities and his tendency toward claustrophobia. Who knew that could manifest itself as young as 4 weeks?) Dd never was worn much because she was a hefty little chunk and my back was not strong enough after her birth to carry her.

Tfrontcarry.jpg
 
#13 ·
I watch tv and so do my kiddos. I've tried to quit but that didn't work out... Like we watch waaay to much tv, it's on a few hours a day now...

We've started eating some canned foods (I've only eaten canned food on very rare occasions before) I used to only eat foods from CSAs and farmers markets

My van (when it used to run) gets really bad gas mileage around 10mpg! I never drove it much but I always felt guilty about that.

My dogs aren't vegetarian anymore.

My house gets sprayed with chemicals for ants (I have no say in this the landlord does it)

Both of my kids were born at a hospital (naturally and right after getting there though)

My son uses a paci and loves it. He was hospitalized for pneumonia at three weeks and came out loving paci's and bottles!

ETA: Nutella (my daughter goes through a couple of jars a week)

Also are there things you would consider AP but not crunchy? Or crunchy but not AP?
 
#14 ·
Okay, well, then non-ap things:

We use time-outs often.

I have yelled at my kids.

My kids can have some say in what happens around our house, but for the most part, mom and dad are boss. That's it. No discussions.

We have grounded our daughter.

I will cancel activities for bad behavior.

There are limits on what my kids do. They will not play video games all day, because they want to.
 
#15 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by LynnS6 View Post

Well, actually, all the things that people have listed are really things against natural family living. I'm only mildly crunchy and I know it. We're pretty AP in that we listen to our children's needs and adjust our parenting accordingly.

We vax ,and I'm very comfortable with that decision.

We used disposable diapers. I would have liked to use cloth, but dh was the one home with the kids when I went back to work, and he couldn't/wouldn't do it. I couldn't impose that on him.

Nutella is one of my son's staple food groups (it's also the only thing that keeps him from being completely underweight).

Sugar is known and loved in our house. My kids have consumed foods with high fructose corn syrup. They've eaten at McD's.

Ds slept in a crib until he was, gasp, FIVE. (Because we couldn't move him out of it. He loved his crib.)

We public school. You couldn't pay me to homeschool (not that I'm philosophically opposed to it, but because I would suck at it).

I never wore my kids much -- ds because he hated it (the picture below is as comfortable as he ever got) -- forward carries, mei tais, slings, wraps all freaked him out. (I learned later it was because of his hypersensitivities and his tendency toward claustrophobia. Who knew that could manifest itself as young as 4 weeks?) Dd never was worn much because she was a hefty little chunk and my back was not strong enough after her birth to carry her.

Tfrontcarry.jpg
Oooo picture proof, yes!! Sooo adorable!!

Here is my three year old with her paci.

Unknown (2).jpeg

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There. My secret's out.
 
#16 ·
I had two c-sections, the second one planned.

We eat mostly non organic.

We used disposable diapers.

DD will be going to public school starting next year with kindergarten.

We vax.

My DD was supplemented with formula if my DH ran out of expressed milk, when I worked on Saturdays.
 
#17 ·
Some of these I get, and I do some of them, but I don't understand having a discussion on a NFL/ AP message board on how un-NFL and un-AP you are. Obviously, no one is perfect.

It doesn't make a lick of difference to me if someone uses sposies, formula feeds by choice, eats sugar (we do!!), eats fast food sometimes (we do), vaxes, etc etc etc.

Some of these are just sad though. I don't get why someone would admit on MDC that they hit their kids, or that they are comfortable with (illegally) front facing a baby, when (I assume) they know it's MUCH less safe to do so.
 
#18 ·
I'll post over here too.

I cried my eyes out one day when my lovely oldest son was well somewhere between 6 and 9 months old because it was summer and it was after I stopped exclusively pumping for him. I had just been to a meeting of our local homeschool group at the park, and some mom there asked me what my child eats then if he's allergic to all things dairy and soy and I don't breastfeed. She'd seen me feed him his bottle and was in on a conversation I was having about his allergies--now outgrown.

I probably was not very nice when I informed her it was Nutramigen. I'm not sure I added any more of my story.

FOUR LC's could not figure out how to undo what the hospital's policies had done to us.

I pumped exclusively for 6 months and listened to my child go through colic HELL till we figured out his allergies. I eliminated those things from my diet while pumping. I'm not sure when I stopped crying when I'd make a bottle of formula because I just could not pump enough. Or how much time I spent online learning about what I could do to make more milk...how much time I spent attached to that pump instead of my baby.

I now have a happy, healthy, thriving 6 year old--and by the way, we didn't end up homeschooling.

I still get angry if I think back too much on that...now that I have 3 other babies who I *have* been able to breastfeed, I know what I missed with him, and it makes me FURIOUS. I know what I should do with that energy is take it into being part of the change I want to see...I just heard a fabulous speaker last weekend who pointed out that people like the nurses I had are overworked and not educated in natural birth and practices that support breastfeeding.

I am not exactly sure where I'm going to go with that.

If I could go back though, with only the knowledge I had then, and nothing that would change the fact that we did not get breastfeeding established, I would NOT pump again. Why? Well, for me, I got focused on the fact that he was not 100% mama milk fed and obsessed with finding ways to get us to that point. While I was doing that, I lost sight of how much time I spent hooked to the pump and into a computer looking for answers. It took a whole lot of joy out of raising my baby.

I remember telling my email 'breastfeeding challenges' group when my baby started solids that this was the first time I truly enjoyed feeding him.

I think feeding felt 'normal' again....it wasn't about what didn't work out anymore.

That's all me and my view. *I* felt like *I* failed my baby.....but now I realize what matters is a happy, healthy kid who was and is loved and has always known it.
 
#19 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by DevaMajka View Post

Some of these I get, and I do some of them, but I don't understand having a discussion on a NFL/ AP message board on how un-NFL and un-AP you are. Obviously, no one is perfect.

It doesn't make a lick of difference to me if someone uses sposies, formula feeds by choice, eats sugar (we do!!), eats fast food sometimes (we do), vaxes, etc etc etc.

Some of these are just sad though. I don't get why someone would admit on MDC that they hit their kids, or that they are comfortable with (illegally) front facing a baby, when (I assume) they know it's MUCH less safe to do so.
You may not care about those things but it is a big bone of contention around here, in general. In a recent thread formula feeding by choice was likened to child abuse.

ETA: I do think it's ill advised to forward face a ten month old...
 
#20 ·
My son is circumcised, though this was his biological mother's choice. I was at the hospital when he was born, but did not challenge her because I didn't want her to change her mind...

We use the Dr. Sears Vaccination Schedule, and are behind on it, but we do vaccinate.

Babywearing hurts me. I have back and joint issues, and can only do it for a little while. Usually I don't go out by myself with the babe, so we carry him and trade off, but I use the stroller when necessary.

My baby is on formula. I do have a friend that donates breastmilk, but I chose not to induce lactation so I could stay on Zoloft.

My baby has used a pacifier since birth. I can't soothe him with my breast, and besides, it has been suggested that it reduces SIDS risk, so I don't feel bad.

We don't watch TV when the baby is awake, but I often use the computer with him in my lap, and that's probably just as detrimental if I'm honest...

And I didn't realize there were objections to bouncy seats and Johnny Jump-Ups and swings (maybe someone could share what the problem is with these?). So we sure use them.

Finally, though this only affects my husband and me thus far and we are working on changing it--our diets are horrible. I'm a vegetarian that doesn't like vegetables. We are both pretty overweight. I drink at least one soda a day, full of corn syrup, we eat fast food when we can afford it, and there is probably nothing organic in our whole house right now. I quit smoking and I quit drinking, so dammit, I feel entitled to a Snickers bar when I want one...
 
#21 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by DevaMajka View Post

Some of these I get, and I do some of them, but I don't understand having a discussion on a NFL/ AP message board on how un-NFL and un-AP you are. Obviously, no one is perfect.

It doesn't make a lick of difference to me if someone uses sposies, formula feeds by choice, eats sugar (we do!!), eats fast food sometimes (we do), vaxes, etc etc etc.

Some of these are just sad though. I don't get why someone would admit on MDC that they hit their kids, or that they are comfortable with (illegally) front facing a baby, when (I assume) they know it's MUCH less safe to do so.
That's awesome that it doesn't make a difference to you. And not the norm here. It makes A LOT of difference to a lot of people if moms or dads here make different choices than the "standard" AP choices. I have found myself in tears on the regular while reading this board, feeling shamed about myself and my thoughts. About totally minor things too!
 
#22 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by DevaMajka View Post

Some of these are just sad though. I don't get why someone would admit on MDC that they hit their kids, or that they are comfortable with (illegally) front facing a baby, when (I assume) they know it's MUCH less safe to do so.
I'm not into the whole crunchy/AP checklist, but I agree with you that these two things made me cringe. It's not mainstream to have a 10 month old forward facing - it's reckless.
 
#23 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by milletpuff View Post

That's awesome that it doesn't make a difference to you. And not the norm here. It makes A LOT of difference to a lot of people if moms or dads here make different choices than the "standard" AP choices. I have found myself in tears on the regular while reading this board, feeling shamed about myself and my thoughts. About totally minor things too!
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I've not been in tears but have been upset by people jumping down my throat for not conforming to the perfect AP standard. It ticks me off how a person can just hide behind "Well, there are other mainstream boards if you want to have views like that" instead of actually considering somebody else's parenting choices as valid, for them.

Whatever happened to live and let live? Barring any actual child abuse (And no, that does not include formula feeding no matter how you slice it.) I don't see why all the extreme judgement and holier-than-thou even has to come into play.

Why not bring more "mainstream" people in from other boards so they can be exposed to new ideas instead of kicking them to the curb for not quite making that mark.
 
#24 ·
I thought of another one.

I've been scorned because I think my breast milk tastes gross. I dread having to get it on my tongue. I was told I must have something wrong with me, health-wise, for this to be the case. Maybe if I were a bit more hardcore AP I would acquire a taste because breast milk is so magykal that everybody must love it!!
 
#25 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovingmommyhood View Post

I thought of another one.

I've been scorned because I think my breast milk tastes gross. I dread having to get it on my tongue. I was told I must have something wrong with me, health-wise, for this to be the case. Maybe if I were a bit more hardcore AP I would acquire a taste because breast milk is so magykal that everybody must love it!!
wait, why would you have to get it on your tongue? hmmmmm (I don't even know what breastmilk tastes like, exactly, and I nursed past 2)
 
#26 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife View Post

wait, why would you have to get it on your tongue? hmmmmm (I don't even know what breastmilk tastes like, exactly, and I nursed past 2)
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Well...I guess it's not that frequent but I have tasted it, purposely at first because everyone talked about how damn delicious it was...I tasted it and thought, "Ew, that tastes gross." then looked at my son with a small shake of my head. Poor little fella thinks this tastes good. He wanted it 24/7 so I guess it must not have been all bad.

I guess I kept tasting it in hopes whatever was wrong with me would clear right up.
 
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