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#271 of 289 Old 07-06-2011, 04:20 PM
 
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Originally Posted by EJ Lang View Post

Alyantavid, can you expound on your implications of your quotes of mine?  Having children can cost a lot of money, but it doesn't have to.  I personally feel parents can make a living and still avoid daycare if that's their choice.  Don't have kids if you can't afford them, don't have sex if you don't want kids, don't spend more than you make...what are they teaching kids in school these days?duh.gif


Well apparently they don't teach you to be polite.

 

My "implications" are direct quotes from you.  You said if you can't afford to stay home with your kids the majority of the day don't get pregnant.  Meaning, if you don't want to stay home, don't have kids.  Kids cost money, even if you stay home.  They have to be fed and clothed and that's gotta come from somewhere.  Your insinuation that I'm too stupid to understand how to stay home with my kids is assinine.  Millions of parents choose to work, many prefer to not be on welfare and support the children they brought into this world, some parents don't believe in abortion.  You have no idea about my choices except what I've put into this thread.  You don't know how I ended up with 2 unplanned pregnancies or why I work.

 

I got married, had sex with my husband (who knew that was such a horrific thing?!) and got pregnant.  Guess what, I'm being a grown up and being responsible about choosing to keep my child.   
 

 

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#272 of 289 Old 07-06-2011, 04:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by EJ Lang View Post

Alyantavid, can you expound on your implications of your quotes of mine?  Having children can cost a lot of money, but it doesn't have to.  I personally feel parents can make a living and still avoid daycare if that's their choice.  Don't have kids if you can't afford them, don't have sex if you don't want kids, don't spend more than you make...what are they teaching kids in school these days?duh.gif



You know..."don't have sex if you don't want kids" is one of those amazingly judgmental, obnoxious things people say, and it sounds, superficially, as though it makes sense. It doesn't. For most people (I'm sure there are some who are more-or-less asexual), sex is a very powerful emotional and physical need. I don't believe that celibacy is a healthy way to live in the long term (again, for most people). Telling people to just not have sex is about as realistic as telling people to just not eat. It's not going to happen.

 

In any case, "affording" kids is a slippery concept. What happens when you decided to ttc, and can "afford" kids, and then your financial situation changes suddenly (car gets totalled and the insurance company screws you, the breadwinner, if applicable, gets unexpectedly laid off, one or the other of you experiences a sudden, unexpected health crisis...this can have  a dramatic financial impact even in Canada, where people aren't being bankrupted by hospital bills on a regular basis, etc.), or your child is born with an unexpected, and expensive, health problem that isn't covered by insurance. What happens if you realize that you can afford a child - and then it's twins or triplets (this has thrown both of my siblings a financial curve ball - no previous history of multiples, but they both had twins)?

 

As to "parents can make a living and still avoid daycare". In what circumstances? Sure - some parents can do that. But, as with every single aspect of parenting, that depends on many, many factors. I "avoided daycare" (had no problem with it, except for transportation to and from - none in walking distance, and I didn't drive back then - and the fact that I couldn't afford it, anyway). That doesn't mean my solution is available to everybody. (Basically, I paid family members to babysit, but we arranged a bargain price, and, most importantly, I didn't have to pay for unused time - my ex's job wasn't a typical, full-time job, and sometimes, he'd be off every weekday for a week. If I'd had ds1 in daycare, I'd have been paying for those days, even though there would have been no income coming in from my ex. My income covered the basics, in a pinch, and I made the vast majority of our income...but it wsn't enough to absorb costs like that.)


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#273 of 289 Old 07-06-2011, 04:28 PM
 
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I'm not opposed to interventions when they're necessary, but some of the comments have been things along the line of, "you'll want a c-section so you don't ruin your vagina," and "everyone I know wanted an epidural as soon as they got to the hospital."  If I have to have a c-section for my child's health or my own, so be it, but to presume that I want one to not "ruin my vagina" is ridiculous.  
 

 



Yeah - I've heard them all before. They kind of turn my stomach (and this is totally OT, but...I couldn't feel my clitoris - AT ALL - for almost a year after my third c-section, because of the nerve damage...still, almost six years later, don't have normal sensation in that area - my vagina may have been "saved", but....not really, yk?).

 

Epidurals freak me out. I've had to have spinals for three of my c-sections, and I'd much rather be knocked out, no joke.

 

Okay - back to our regularly scheduled battlefield thread.


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#274 of 289 Old 07-06-2011, 04:36 PM
 
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Originally Posted by EJ Lang View Post

 I personally feel parents can make a living and still avoid daycare if that's their choice.  Don't have kids if you can't afford them, don't have sex if you don't want kids, don't spend more than you make...what are they teaching kids in school these days?duh.gif



You know, I might be able to avoid daycare, but only if I went on welfare, and lived in shelter - and really, that doesn't sound like something that would be "best" for my ds.  Do you think thats what I should do?  DO you really think my ds would be better off being homeless than in daycare?  I certainly don't think that.  Especially since I found a fantastic daycare where he is learning t speak Mandarin - something I could never in a million years teach him.

 

And yeah, I know I had ds before I was financially ready, but I was living with a boyfriend (who seemed like a nice guy at the time....more on that another time though), and we got pregnant accidentally.  Birth control failed, which happens sometimes.  Oops.  Should I have gotten an abortion (I am pro-choice, and I support a woman's right to choose, but it was not a good choice for me)?  Should my brilliant, beautiful, amazing child not exist?  Should my ds live with his crazy dad (yes, he's crazy), and his grandma who tried to take him away from me? 

 

Don't say that I shouldn't have my DS - b/c I'm a pretty good mother (not perfect like you, sorry) and my DS is growing up loved and happy, with a mom who is happy to take time off work to stay home when he's sick.

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#275 of 289 Old 07-06-2011, 04:51 PM
 
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Happy, healthy children and parents, tips and tricks to make life better.  Ignore my brashness, I'll work on being a little gentler with my words, peace...over and out, thumb.gifblowkiss.gifnamaste.gif

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#276 of 289 Old 07-06-2011, 05:09 PM
 
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Originally Posted by EJ Lang View Post

Sucks when they're sick eh?  I don't call in sick when my kids are sick because their daddy 'babysits' as he calls it.


My DH is DD's parent, not her babysitter.  Just saying.  I'm more or less responding to your earlier post that you work while your DH babysits.  Not sure if I understand the above quote.  It is so bizarre.

 


"Lawyers, I suppose, were children once." Charles Lamb.
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#277 of 289 Old 07-06-2011, 06:03 PM
 
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  You don't know how I ended up with 2 unplanned pregnancies or why I work.

 

I got married, had sex with my husband.   
 

 



*gasp*
you slut. I'll bet you were doing that just for fun, not even trying to make a baby!

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#278 of 289 Old 07-06-2011, 06:32 PM
 
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So only wealthy people should have kids, and therefore only wealthy people should have sex? Am I understanding this right? All poor people should be celibate?
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#279 of 289 Old 07-06-2011, 06:36 PM
 
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So only wealthy people should have kids, and therefore only wealthy people should have sex? Am I understanding this right? All poor people should be celibate?


Not only that, but planning to provide for your kids by maintaining a dual-income household is not okay!


~ Mum to Emily, March 12-16 2004, Noah, born Aug 2005, Liam, born January 2011, and wife to Carl since 1994. ~
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#280 of 289 Old 07-06-2011, 06:50 PM
 
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So only wealthy people should have kids, and therefore only wealthy people should have sex? Am I understanding this right? All poor people should be celibate?


Yes, you are correct.  You get a gold star!  (just don't think about cashing it in)

 

Qualifier:  I'm snarking.

 

 

 


"Lawyers, I suppose, were children once." Charles Lamb.
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#281 of 289 Old 07-06-2011, 08:42 PM
 
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My little one has a bad cold and he's been wanting to nurse all day, I also feel passionate about this subject, I don't think making homemade baby food/breast feeding/non-daycare/non-dairy (the 4 things the O.P. mentioned) are arguably a bad thing.



Wait a minute -- what's that about homemade baby food? My girls never needed any baby food...it was breast all the way 'til they felt ready to take in more and more solids. This means that no one should ever need baby food...though I'll admit that I went through a phase of really enjoying the baby cereal that WIC gave us when dd1 was around one. She, on the other hand, preferred Cheerios or Wheaties...

 

As I see it, me eating that baby cereal was my way of bending to the mainstream advice to add a little cereal to dd's milk, though I can't say that it made her sleep any longer.

 


Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
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#282 of 289 Old 07-06-2011, 08:43 PM
 
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I say, if you feel a need to give your child baby food, you should start having more outer-course!


Susan -- married unschoolin' WAHMomma to two lovely girls (born 2000 and 2005).
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#283 of 289 Old 07-06-2011, 08:47 PM
 
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*gasp*
you slut. I'll bet you were doing that just for fun, not even trying to make a baby!



I know, the nerve of us!

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post





Wait a minute -- what's that about homemade baby food? My girls never needed any baby food...it was breast all the way 'til they felt ready to take in more and more solids. This means that no one should ever need baby food...though I'll admit that I went through a phase of really enjoying the baby cereal that WIC gave us when dd1 was around one. She, on the other hand, preferred Cheerios or Wheaties...

 

As I see it, me eating that baby cereal was my way of bending to the mainstream advice to add a little cereal to dd's milk, though I can't say that it made her sleep any longer.

 


ROTFLMAO.gif
 

 

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#284 of 289 Old 07-07-2011, 10:30 AM
 
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I made meals and my babys (when they were ready) ate what I made, starting with the veggies.  Some babys start eating around 6 months some 8 months.  Some people mash up sweet potato, bananas, peas, squash and things like that, I think of that as baby food, mashed or not.

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#285 of 289 Old 07-13-2011, 01:01 AM
 
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Hahaha. Wow, can this thread get any more offensive and OFF TOPIC? This is why some forums need to be moderated, but that's just my opinion. *sigh*

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#286 of 289 Old 07-14-2011, 03:22 PM
 
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as far as Breastfeeding vs bottle feeding goes i bottle fed mine i am just not comfortable with breast feeding, but i have no problems with people that do it, and im not going to verbally attacking someone for chosing to do so. it was just in my comfort zone.

 

Homemade baby food vs in a jar i always bought it in a jar, but mine never ate baby food hardly at all as soon as they had a few teeth they wanted what i had.

 

Milk vs non-dairy babies depends on the baby, whatever is best for someones child is what i believe they should have.

 

Stay-at-home vs working mama's i am a stay at home mother but that doesnt mean that i look down on working mothers. staying at home full time and having a job and rasing kids are both the hardest jobs anyone could have.

 

like i said above i am a stay at home mom but i also think that it is great if a mother wants to return to work, it is all about what she wants to do and what she sees best. I wanted to stay at home with my children because I wanted all the quality time i could get and with my husband working overnight it just seemed easier. when i was in the hospital after giving birth to my youngest daughter i cried all night long the first night and all night long the second night because i was away from my daughter. I understand where you are coming from with crying at your desk.. It is very hard to be away after not giving yourself some space from your children. Your right everyone does do things differently its all about what is best for each individuals children and what works for that family.

 

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#287 of 289 Old 07-14-2011, 06:28 PM
 
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Some of the choices we make are because we see these issues as extremely important, as important as not smoking around your kids.  This can make hard to watch another mother do what we disagree with.  But we feel so strongly, that our choices have huge impacts on our kids.  We want the world to be a better place, and if only EVERYBODY made the same choices then.... (Did I just say the same thing 4 times?)

     I used to snicker at parents who drove their kids around for naps.  I never did, but now I get it!  I still can be judgmental, though.  I didn't mean to imply that I'm enlightened or anything, just that I understand a little better the struggles of raising kids.  I won't say which camps I reside in, and I apologize for skipping to the end without reading the posts.


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#288 of 289 Old 07-16-2011, 07:09 PM
 
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Some of the choices we make are because we see these issues as extremely important, as important as not smoking around your kids.  This can make hard to watch another mother do what we disagree with.  But we feel so strongly, that our choices have huge impacts on our kids.  We want the world to be a better place, and if only EVERYBODY made the same choices then.... (Did I just say the same thing 4 times?)

     I used to snicker at parents who drove their kids around for naps.  I never did, but now I get it!  I still can be judgmental, though.  I didn't mean to imply that I'm enlightened or anything, just that I understand a little better the struggles of raising kids.  I won't say which camps I reside in, and I apologize for skipping to the end without reading the posts.



oooh, girl. Sometimes, driving around is the ONLY way to get my DD to sleep. I never understood why parents did that before I had a kid that will literally stay awake for 16 hours at a time with NO NAP.

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Adaline love.gif (3/20/10), and Charlie brokenheart.gif (1/26/12- 4/10/12) and our identical  rainbow1284.gif  twins Callie and Wendy (01/04/13)

SIDS happens. 

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#289 of 289 Old 07-16-2011, 08:10 PM
 
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oooh, girl. Sometimes, driving around is the ONLY way to get my DD to sleep. I never understood why parents did that before I had a kid that will literally stay awake for 16 hours at a time with NO NAP.

Indeed.  Sleep deprivation, being ON without a break, hunger (I learned to eat my food in about 15 seconds when DD1 was a baby, and unfortunately I still do!), health scares, seemingly endless screaming, etc etc. can induce parents to make decisions they would have never dreamed they would make, simply to maintain their own calmness and sanity.
 

 


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