Who doesn't fit in anywhere? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 24 Old 06-22-2011, 02:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
sortacrispy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Bay Area CA
Posts: 10
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I just joined this site a couple months ago since I'm tired of being the weird hippy-dippy chick in my family and group of friends. Except after joining here I found out just how mainstream I amROTFLMAO.gif. People I know in real life think I am weird to breastfeed for as long as I do and not use any formula, but here I seem like a down right slacker for weaning my first son at 15 months. In real life I am weird because I planned natural, intervention-free births, but here I am part of the system because I wanted those births in the hospital attended by an OB. In real life I am weird for delaying and selectively vaxing my boys, here I am poisoning them with the toxins I do choose to inject. In real life I am weird because I won't circ my boys, here I am not a true intactivist because I don't believe in outlawing RIC. In real life I am weird because I won't spank my boys, but here I am a torturer because once they were 9 months I did a modified version of sleep training?

 

So my username is apt, I'm a sorta crispy gal wink1.gif But really, I am probably not the only one who feels too weird for the mainstream but not sure if they are quite welcome here? Just wanted to shout out to the community and see if there are other moms and dads out there who feel the same way :)

sortacrispy is offline  
#2 of 24 Old 06-22-2011, 02:31 PM
 
cat13's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,766
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Welcome to MDC! I've only been around MDC for under a year, but I find that there is room for everyone. Yeah, there are some folks who want to out-AP or out-crunchy everyone else, but mostly I've found it to be a pretty supportive place, even for "crispy" folks like you. Just be yourself and click around the different forums until you've found your place. Also, I recommend the Finding your Tribe section too.

expat-mama likes this.

Mama Bear toddler.gif, Papa Bear treehugger.gif and Baby Bear (8/11) coolshine.gif

cat13 is offline  
#3 of 24 Old 06-23-2011, 07:37 AM
 
BrennaRawks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: coming out of the chaos
Posts: 28
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'd say I often feel that way too. For me, I'm not so crunchy but more AP. I do some things this way, and others more mainstream. I know there are many days when I feel like I'm too AP/crunchy for my mainstream friends and too mainstream for my crunchy friends. Not a fun place to be, for sure.

That said, although I lurk far more than I post here, I'm learning to be that confident mom that I've always admired and wanted myself to be.

You're in good company, OP. I think there are lots of mamas who feel that way, even if they never voice that feeling. smile.gif


B + J = A (4/01), E (6/03), and S (11/10)
Our family selectivevax.gifwinner.jpgslinggirl.gif and fambedsingle1.gif while DH works nights.
BrennaRawks is offline  
#4 of 24 Old 06-23-2011, 08:33 AM
 
~Charlie's~Angel~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 4,505
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Please refer to my thread started about a week ago.  *WINK*

 

I belong NO WHERE.  But Im here anyway, because darn it if some mamas here dont LOVE ME and I LOVE THEM!!  <3 <3 <3

~Charlie's~Angel~ is offline  
#5 of 24 Old 06-23-2011, 08:41 AM
 
Phoenix~Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Lehigh Valley, PA
Posts: 5,306
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Well... you DO belong somewhere, Gina.  ;-)  

 

*waves*  *points at tag line*

 

That's me too... a crispy middle roader.  :-)


ribbonpurple.gif  Proud Single Mama, Birth & Postpartum Doula

Student, Aspiring CNM 
treehugger.gif  DD ~ 1/7/09   shamrocksmile.gif  DS ~ 9/22/10

Phoenix~Mama is offline  
#6 of 24 Old 06-23-2011, 08:47 AM
 
~Charlie's~Angel~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 4,505
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I STAND CORRECTED. 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phoenix~Mama View Post

Well... you DO belong somewhere, Gina.  ;-)  

 

*waves*  *points at tag line*

 

That's me too... a crispy middle roader.  :-)


If only I had a dang lap top with wifi!  CURSES!!!!!!
 

 

~Charlie's~Angel~ is offline  
#7 of 24 Old 06-23-2011, 08:51 AM
 
SubliminalDarkness's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Outside of Augusta, GA
Posts: 1,441
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

It's ok. I don't really "fit" anywhere either. So I just kind of take what I feel I can benefit from and leave the rest. I'm ok with that. 

SubliminalDarkness is offline  
#8 of 24 Old 06-23-2011, 09:05 AM
 
Linda on the move's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: basking in the sunshine
Posts: 10,669
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 67 Post(s)

Welcome to club!

 

I've been here for years. IRL, I'm considered a radical. Here, I'm very mainstream to have stuck around so long!

 

I like the middle path. The middle is always the best part (take Oreos, for example).

sortacrispy likes this.

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

Linda on the move is online now  
#9 of 24 Old 06-23-2011, 09:32 AM
 
~Charlie's~Angel~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 4,505
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


The chocolate covered ones?  drool.gif
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post

I like the middle path. The middle is always the best part (take Oreos, for example).



 

~Charlie's~Angel~ is offline  
#10 of 24 Old 06-23-2011, 12:24 PM
 
SuburbanHippie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: finally out in the country
Posts: 1,853
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I feel that way sometimes too.  I use organic hair care products, but I dye my hair.  I have an organic garden, but I also enjoy a good bowl of ice cream (often).  My birth plan includes no vaccines, vit K, or eye ointment, but also says I'll most likely have an epidural.  I think everyone is a little "middle of the road," but some of them don't like to admit it.


Mom to REPlaySkateboard04HL.gif(12), bikenew.gif(7), energy.gif(5),  guitar.gif(4), baby.gif (born 7/8/11), dog2.gif, and chicken3.gif

 


 

SuburbanHippie is offline  
#11 of 24 Old 06-23-2011, 12:53 PM
 
grumpybear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 923
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)



 

Quote:
Originally Posted by SuburbanHippie View Post

  I think everyone is a little "middle of the road," but some of them don't like to admit it.


yeahthat.gif
 

I'm the weird one in the family too. Natural birth, BF, extended BF, practice GD but I really love Cheetos and we like deep frying our food. bag.gif

grumpybear is online now  
#12 of 24 Old 06-23-2011, 01:50 PM
 
cat13's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,766
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I think I need to unsub from this thread with all this talk about cheetos, ice cream and chocolate covered oreos.... mmmmmm.


Mama Bear toddler.gif, Papa Bear treehugger.gif and Baby Bear (8/11) coolshine.gif

cat13 is offline  
#13 of 24 Old 06-23-2011, 02:04 PM
 
CI Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 796
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'm a lesbian who got pregnant by AI, had a doula at my hospital birth, ended up with a c-section, cloth diapered my baby, did baby wearing but not hard-core, sort of EC'd to potty train DD, did co-sleeping but is in transition with that, BFs a soon-to-be-3-year-old, works full-time, comes home to a permaculture-influenced urban homestead (complete with compost bins, rain barrels, mostly organic gardens), doesn't drive a car (commutes by bike), feels right at home with kooky artsy-fartsy types without really looking like one of them, and is just happy to live in Madison, WI where all of the above fits just fine, as do many other variations on "mainstream" (whatever that is) and "crunchy" (whatever that is).

 

I'm not the weird one in my family. We're all weird, just in different ways!

 

 

 

 


Living in Wisconsin with my partner of 20+ years and our DDenergy.gif(Born 10/09/08 ribboncesarean.gif). Why CI Mama? Because I love contact improvisation!

CI Mama is offline  
#14 of 24 Old 06-23-2011, 05:15 PM
 
~Charlie's~Angel~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 4,505
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Ohhhhh, I think about doing a rain barrel ALL.THE.TIME.  I hear it makes your hair feel SOOO SOFT!!!!

~Charlie's~Angel~ is offline  
#15 of 24 Old 06-24-2011, 09:30 AM
 
Latte Mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: In toddler tantrum land
Posts: 1,261
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Another middle of the roader here.  I breastfed, cosleep, and still wear my toddler.  But I had to have a C section for my own health and medical history, used sposies (awful I know), and use a mix of regular and organic food.  I sure as heck am not as perfect as the "model MDC mom" but I suspect that is a fantasy anyway.  I aspire to do the best I can and do better each and every day.


Mama to one 2 yr. old tornado banana.gif
Latte Mama is offline  
#16 of 24 Old 06-24-2011, 09:57 AM
 
emilysmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 643
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I prefer to think of myself as a bilateral extremist.

 

I nursed my dd until she was 3 y.o., pumped for three years, cloth diapered, we use family cloth, did baby wearing until child was 5 years old, still co-sleeping at age 7 y.o, cook from scratch, I use cloth mama pads, no TV/movies/DVDs/Computer games, etc..

 

BUT

 

My dd was born by C-section, is fully vaxed, and has been getting a full complement of allergy medications (including a nasal steroid) since a year old. Herbal medications generally frighten me, and I prefer my medications approved by the FDA. I enjoy talking to my dd's pediatrician.  I love working full time.  My child goes to a public school, and I'm very happy with it.  I would go bananas if I had to homeschool.  ETC.

 

BUT I have many friends (both crunchy and mainstream) in real life that do things that I don't, and don't do things that I do.  I get along great with them, and when we talk about things that they do that are very different from what I do, I admire them because it seems to be working very well for them.  Whenever other mothers talk about things that I don't do, I consider it as an opportunity to learn about what is different from what I do, instead of as a chance to convert someone to "my" side. Once in a while, I do change my mind and my practices.

 

I am certain that everyone's own personal experience is different from mine.  I have to say, however, that all of my mainstream friends are tolerant of the crunchy things that I do.  I am sorry to say that a few of my crunchy friends speak very militantly against some of my mainstream practices.  Fortunately, we still have lots enjoyable conversations about it.

 

 

emilysmama is offline  
#17 of 24 Old 06-24-2011, 10:33 AM
 
FAmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 74
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Funny.... I don't fit in anywhere.  And, when I read this thread, if the OP is "sortacrispy", then I'm likely "justsorta"..... I don't even want to list stuff for myself that makes me considered "out there" by those around me.  I think I'd end up run out of here too if I did.  So, I don't really fit in here either.

FAmom is offline  
#18 of 24 Old 06-24-2011, 04:40 PM
 
meemee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Norther California
Posts: 12,782
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 22 Post(s)

nuhuh gals. you cant stick a label on me. i defy all labels. 

 

some find me weird. some find me cool. 

 

i am who i am. others perception of me defines who i am in their eyes. 

 

and i am not just talking about parenting. 

 

i dont really 'fit' in anywhere. i never have even as a child.  neither does dd. children tell her she is strange and so do adults (but the adults do it in a positive way). 

 

so dd and i are a team. and we are both aware that while we enjoy who we are we are also prepared to be loners. 

 

however i know many mainstream parents and their parenting philosophy has never stopped me from getting to know them and be friends. while i have felt bad for their kids, i have also seen that they do care about their children. we just focus on different things. 


 treehugger.gif Co-parent, joy.gifcold.gifbrand new homeschooling middle schoolerjoy.gif, and an attackcat.gif 
meemee is offline  
#19 of 24 Old 06-24-2011, 07:10 PM
 
rubidoux's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 2,711
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by emilysmama View Post

I prefer to think of myself as a bilateral extremist.

 


Me, too!  I was gonna say I was on both sides of the road but never in the middle.  Oddly, though, I don't think I'm as nice about it as you are.  redface.gif  Like, I feel pretty horrified when I hear people talking about circ'ing like it's not a form of torture.  And it freaks me out to see a mom feeding a baby to a 2 mo old.  But I don't think even I am terribly judgmental about someone with your leanings, OP. 

 

I feel like there's nowhere for me because I'm what *I* consider to be crunchy, but nobody else actually considers it crunchy.  I want to know where the good old fashioned hippies are  --  the ones who are all about peace, love, and non-conformism, who would think that my ancient volvo wagon was cool and not embarrassing, and who are pay some attention to social issues and politics and would be willing to move to Canada to make sure their children weren't drafted.  To me, those things are the essence of hippy-dom, but I don't know any of those hippies.  :(

 

Otoh, ya'll would think I was very mainstream if you heard me talking about my truly awesome C-section birth (best day of my life!), or saw me pushing my little ones in a stroller, or saw how we eat (well, you'd think I was *worse* than mainstream on that one).  

 

 


Jayne, sewing up a storm mama to ds1 9/03, ds2 2/09, and 2 sweet furbabies.

rubidoux is offline  
#20 of 24 Old 06-24-2011, 07:22 PM
 
Dacks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 64
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by rubidium View Post

 And it freaks me out to see a mom feeding a baby to a 2 mo old. 

 

I'm a little freaked out about this right now too. yummy.gif

 

I hope this site becomes a little more accepting of people who don't go Full Crunch. Mothers shouldn't have to keep half their lives secret from the forum for fear of being shunned as a bad parent.


Signatures are sooo mainstream.

Dacks is offline  
#21 of 24 Old 06-24-2011, 11:06 PM
 
rubidoux's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 2,711
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Dacks View Post



 

I'm a little freaked out about this right now too. yummy.gif

 

I hope this site becomes a little more accepting of people who don't go Full Crunch. Mothers shouldn't have to keep half their lives secret from the forum for fear of being shunned as a bad parent.

lol  That was a pretty good typo.  lol.gif  I think I'll leave it.
 

 


Jayne, sewing up a storm mama to ds1 9/03, ds2 2/09, and 2 sweet furbabies.

rubidoux is offline  
#22 of 24 Old 06-24-2011, 11:53 PM
 
Storm Bride's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 27,300
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'm not crunchy. I'm not mainstream. I haven't felt like I fit anywhere since several years before my first marriage went belly-up. The last label I willingly self-applied was probably "metalhead" somewhere around 1983 or so.

 

I'm not here because I'm crunchy. I do pretty well on the AP front (although I'd already been here several months, and my oldest was 12, before I'd ever heard that label), but my NFL cred is in the toilet. It used to be decent, but I've become considerably less green over the years, in several ways, for various reasons. I'm pretty hardcore on being anti-circ and I'm kind of nuts on the subject of informed consent where birth choice is concerned. Other than that? I don't "fit" here all that well, in many ways - but I like it, anyway and it's suited me well enough for the last six years.


Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

Storm Bride is offline  
#23 of 24 Old 06-25-2011, 07:13 AM
 
cappuccinosmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: SW Pennsylvania
Posts: 5,628
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

Welcome!

 

I'm another doesn't-fit-er.

 

 

cappuccinosmom is offline  
#24 of 24 Old 06-25-2011, 12:42 PM
2xy
 
2xy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 3,162
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

wild.gif

 

^^^That's me.

 

I had my first child was I was barely 21. I had no non-mainstream parenting support and it was several years until the Internet became widely accessible. If I'd known then what I know now, lots of stuff would have been done differently. I also had a very mainstream husband and was in the Navy, so I was surrounded by convention.

 

Anyway, my boys were fortunate enough to be left intact and were each breastfed for several months. I'm pretty vocal about intactivism (am working on getting Medicaid to stop covering it in my state). I use mostly baking soda and vinegar for cleaning, but have been known to bust out the EZ-Off and Clorox on occasion. My kids are fully vaxed....they were military brats and it never occurred to me to NOT vax them. I'm pretty sure I would still have selectively vaxed. I did briefly consider using cloth diapers when DS1 was born, but couldn't figure out how to swing it with his sitter.

 

I shun artificial sweeteners and colorings, and don't buy into the "low-fat" craze, and boycott Nestle. I'm pretty rabid about Church/State separation, and also about recycling. My kids went to daycare when they were very small, but we've been homeschooling/unschooling for almost 12 years now....and I've WOTH for all but two of those years. When it comes to religion I'm a Naturalist, when it comes to politics I'm a Moderate. I pretty much a square peg in a round hole no matter where I go.

2xy is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off