Would this rude remark bother you? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 06-29-2011, 10:16 AM - Thread Starter
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I am not sure if this is sexist or what. But, sometimes, my 16.5 yr old son babysits for us, sometimes my 15 yr old daughter does, usually, it is both together if dh and I do something. My 16 yr old son does just fine. He is a good guy. 


In the course of talking to my neighbor today, I said something about my 16 yr old babysitting the 22 month old while we go to something for one of the other children. My neighbor got quiet and then informed me she did not think that was a good idea. I said he is good with our toddler. She said but he dropped our toddler once. When our baby was a month old or so, he left our baby on a surface and the baby rolled off. That was over a year and a half old. That is it. That is the only incident. Meanwhile, our daughter, oddly, has done even less of a job with our toddler, in that she dropped him a few times when he was a baby. She was not supporting his back even though we told her to. This neighbor thinks our daughter is fine, but not our son. Obviously our daughter did a worse job than our son. And the incidents I have described were not when they were babysitter as we never left the baby when he was little little. But he is almost 2 now. 


I am quite put off that she would say that about my son, while still thinking my daughter is great and fine. Frankly, I am tired of people who show obvious preferences between my children in general. Why do people even open their mouths when they are being like this? It seems as if with a lot of people, they are open about which child they prefer, and preferring one over the other like that, openly, should not even be a part of their thought process.

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#2 of 4 Old 06-29-2011, 11:09 AM
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It would bother me that the person said that. It does sound like it is just gender bias.

If there were some incident you did not know about then I could see a reason to bring it up to you. Otherwise you know your kids best and it sounds like your ds is the better babysitter

Kim ~mom to one awesome dd (12)

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#3 of 4 Old 06-29-2011, 12:53 PM
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Not sure why you care about the opinion of your nosy neighbor? As the parent you have a more informed POV on who is the better caregiver for your child. If you are happy with the arrangement and she brings it up again just smile, nod and change the subject.


We all have preferences about people.  I love all my siblings but prefer to hang out w/ just a couple of them. Is my preference obvious? Maybe, LOL!  I also prefer a few of nieces/nephews more than others but try to remain "fair".  It does seem rude for your neighbor and others to be so  "obvious" about it though.  Why do these comparisons come up so often?

Pardon me while I puke.gif

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#4 of 4 Old 06-29-2011, 03:37 PM - Thread Starter
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I have noticed these comparisons a lot, but only in people over 60. She is over 60. My inlaws have obvious faves, my parents do, my grandmother does. I don't know if that generation just feels more entitled to show how they feel about the kids, but it happens a lot. That neighbor if over 60.

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