Do You Do "Time Outs?" - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 38 Old 07-11-2011, 08:53 AM
 
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We haven't done time outs until very recently.  DS doesn't have a timer set for how long he stays in a time out, it is whenever he feels better.  More often then not he calms quickly and he is back to playing in a matter of momments.  Thats when I come in and join the game and causually bring up what just happened ::wink, wink::  Don't know if it is the right/wrong way of doing things but it is working out so far. 


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#32 of 38 Old 07-11-2011, 08:57 AM
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Pros: avoidance of harsher discipline methods, removal of stimulation which may be causing a meltdown, etc.  I never heard of any cons.  Even with an extremely stubborn child, timeouts will eventually have some training effect.

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#33 of 38 Old 07-11-2011, 06:09 PM
 
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Quote:

Originally Posted by AmaraMonillas View Post

For those of you who teach meditation or deep breathing to pre-verbal children, how do you go about it?


deep breathing is abdominal, not from the chest. mindful meditation isn't about emptying your mind, it's about letting distractions fall down around you and not affect you.

 

you could have the child lie down and put one hand on their tummy and one hand on their chest, then you do it along with them. the goal is to breathe so that you move the hand on the tummy up and down, not the chest. after that's going, it's easier to do sitting up. also have them close their eyes, you can guide their meditation by telling them about a peaceful place. verbal kids can talk about their own peaceful places. (or stay silent.) for my daughter, she likes to picture positive thoughts going up around her inside bubbles, and for negative or neutral thoughts to fall down around her as autumn leaves. distractions are totally normal, you just view it as falling down around you (or going up around you) but not actually affecting you. like, "my shoulder itches" just floats by peacefully, as does "i feel angry." takes practice, like anything else, but it's very fun to practice together luxlove.gif

 

i like the rubber duck on the tummy idea!


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#34 of 38 Old 07-11-2011, 10:38 PM
 
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Interesting posts, I might have to try teaching my son deep breathing :)

 

What about time outs a la Super Nanny, if anyone has seen that show? That always made sense to me, but I never knew any different methods.


 

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#35 of 38 Old 07-12-2011, 06:24 AM
 
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We do time out, but there is some connection afterward. We talk about the situation. I did time out for my son when he was 1 1/2 yrs old since he is just out of control. We is super hyperactive and needed some for of bad behavior = time out. I don't know of anyway differently to deal with him. But I also do other teaching when time out is involved, for example-
ds takes all the books off the shelf and tries to rip them apart over and over again. I may put him in time out if he is just out of control, and/or I will then show him them and say, "this is what we are supposed to do with books, and get one and read it.
Or like when biting his sister, I take him to the kitchen and get him a carrot to show him what teeth are for. He would get a time out for biting if he is just wont calm down.

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#36 of 38 Old 07-12-2011, 08:22 PM
 
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I tried time outs briefly when my first child was a toddler.  He did not respond well, got more upset, didn't understand why he was getting a time-out etc.  So I stopped.  But he was always a calmer, more cautious kid.  My younger dd is now almost 3, and she has a much hotter temper, hits, bites, provokes her brother, etc. etc.  I recently started removing her from the scene when she and her brother can't work things out and they are threatening (or starting) to hurt each other.  I don't see it as a punishment, more as an opportunity to cool down and restart.  She responds well, and she seems to be getting the message that she can't hurt other people (whereas explaining this to her was getting me nowhere). I still very rarely use it, but it's useful sometimes.


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#37 of 38 Old 07-13-2011, 10:47 PM
 
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I too thought i would not use it.  Till I had kids who kick and scream and make me unable to stay and help.(by that I mean my own mental place, I can't do anything useful, so it's better I leave than get angrier)  We NEED the time out.  Only when it is calm can we talk about anything.


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#38 of 38 Old 07-16-2011, 07:14 AM
 
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We use time-outs when there's physical violence involved. If he hits, kicks, bites, or pinches he gets 10 minutes to calm down and learn to control himself better around other people. I encourage him to beat up a pillow or his stuffed animals to help satisfy that urge, but hitting other living creatures is never okay. And I give myself time-outs frequently because mine are less than two years apart and my patience is thin sometimes.

 

Other than that I try to come up with natural consequences for behavior (drawing on walls means no more crayons for a while, throwing silverware or touching the stove knobs means you can't go back into the kitchen, throwing food means we're done with that meal, jumping on the bed means you can't be in the bedroom alone, etc.). Punitive time-outs aren't very effective for our family, and physically removing a child from a situation in which he's physically out of control makes logical sense to me.


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