A "friend" who I've never been close to just posted on facebook that she's going to start letting her little one cry it out tonight. My heart just dropped for that little baby. Would you step in to offer an alternative or let the mama do her own thing?
Kelly: Mama to a spunky, joy-filled DD (10/04/10), and a loving wife to a music-making DH (07/14/07) We and , and are just starting to TTC#2
You could offer an alternative, but ultimately the mom will do what she wants anyway. Do you think you saying something will help her or just start problems?
Working from home Mommy. You can too. Ask me how!
me & she = TTC one of these Proud Mommy to two of these
I wouldn't say anything NOW because it's just going to start a lot of conflict she probably neither needs nor wants. You can either a. wait till she complains about it tomorrow and tell her something like, "Don't let any 'expert' tell you to go against your gut! You're the mama and you know best. If you want some alternatives to CIO, try these books/this site/etc" or b. message her with something neutral about knowing what it's like to be ready for some sleep. Some other sources she might consider are these books/this site/etc.
You're not going to help at all by getting involved in a debate about it. People get so heated, ugly things are said, and then you look like a nut and your advice seems iffy at best.
I think you could say something but I'd be very careful what I said. Just this past week a friend of mine posted something similar, and someone I don't know posted something along the lines of " I hope this is just a phase with your baby. Baby's are still building trust at this age and are crying for a reason. Feel free to call me or email me if you want to chat about it :)" I wouldn't have the guts to even go that far, but I might mention something like "I thought about that too but just didn't have the stomach for it. I read a great book The No Cry Sleep Solution which helped us a lot. Let me know if you want to borrow it."
I wouldn't say anything either. Mostly because I've heard of two different situations exactly like-- one on this forum awhile back and one on Diaperswappers. (you know...."friend on facebook....made a comment about CIO....I feel sick about it....should I comment?" etc.) In both cases it didn't end well. :(
Holly and David
Adaline (3/20/10), and Charlie (1/26/12- 4/10/12) and our identical twins Callie and Wendy (01/04/13)
I don't even know what I would say. I've only had people post during the fact, and they complained so bitterly about it like it's all about THEM. I just couldn't stop myself. They both posted something to the effect of, "This sucks, I hate doing this." So my response to that (among the many posts of "hang in there," "be strong," "stand tough") was, "How do you think the baby feels about it?" At least they stopped posting their "progress" after that. It's not like I was trying to get them not to do it, b/c after all it IS their choice, but I just want someone to consider the baby's feelings.
I wouldn't even feed into it.
If someone's going to post on FB that they're planning on doing CIO then they're obviously trying to cause controversy. I mean, why the heck else would someone post that??
She's looking for drama, I'd just roll my eyes and move on.