How often to bathe/wash hair??? (Help me settle this disagreement with my husband...) - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 109 Old 12-02-2011, 08:57 AM
 
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My kids are in the pool once a week too, and I wash their hair right afterwards.  For me them being in the pool is the main reason *why* I wash their hair!  Chlorine is so hard on hair!  (and skin...)  During breaks from swimming lessons we do often go longer than a week between hair washes.  Dd gets her hair washed more often than ds because the conditioner really makes it easier to get the tangles out (ds has short hair).

Besides that we have weeks with no bath (besides post-pool shower), and weeks with 3-4 baths.  It depends on a variety of factors - dirtiness being one, and also that they sometimes "need" a bath to help mellow out and calm down before bed time.

I would wash hair right after pool and my dd needs it once more mid-week now or you can smell that she needs it washed. She also needs to wash under her arms too now, so this is a recent change. Before, I'd be OK with once a week.

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#62 of 109 Old 12-02-2011, 10:07 AM
 
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While I don't think once a week is exactly overkill (considering how many people I know who do a full head-to-toe soap up every single night), it doesn't have to be weekly.  My boys have short, very wiry hair (from their African daddy).  They do well with a proper hair wash every 2 weeks, and in between it gets rinsed and the dust brushed out of it every now and again. 

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#63 of 109 Old 12-02-2011, 01:31 PM
 
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I try to bathe my kids at least twice a week, which used to be easy because they bathed together.  But a few weeks ago Milo decided it was time to start showering alone.  Sigh...  Now Augie doesn't want to be in the bath anymore and Milo's not really that keen on following through with his showering.  We need to figure out a new rhythm.

 

At any rate, they almost never use soap, but for the last six months or so Augie has been insisting on bubble bath.  No shampoo for Augie but Milo uses it because he swims a lot and the pool does horrendous things to his hair.  The no poo thing has been so great for Augie.  His hair always looks and smells clean.  I just rinse real well when he takes a bath.  

 

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#64 of 109 Old 12-02-2011, 08:44 PM
 
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We do once a week MAXIMUM, unless they get really dirty, for kids 0-3.  This might be because we have children with incredibly dry, sensitive skin who are miserable when bathed more often.

 

Most of the time, they get a bath every two weeks or so.  They don't get that dirty outside the diaper area, the face, and the hands and feet.  Diaper area gets a mini-wash every change, faces are wiped after just about every meal/snack, and we wash hands and feet at least twice a day.  We have yet to start using soap on our nearly-2yo, although we do wash his hair with cranberry juice and put some soap in the bathwater.

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#65 of 109 Old 12-02-2011, 10:10 PM
 
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I would wash hair right after pool and my dd needs it once more mid-week now or you can smell that she needs it washed. She also needs to wash under her arms too now, so this is a recent change.

See here's the thing. dd can have a stinky scalp and then stand in the warm shower and her stinkyness is gone. it isnt either sweet smelling either. 

 

yeah dd needs her armpits cleaned every other day. but she doesnt need to have a bath for that. she just rinses it out with a wash cloth. 

 

she also rinses her elimination areas every second day. 

 

that's why bathing is not so regular in our house.

 

however we dont have a regular bathing date. we take one when we feel like one or someone else says we need one (usu, that's me telling dd and she telling me 'i know, i am about to take one - said with a disgusted expression as if she didnt know). so some weeks we may go without bathing for a whole week or more (i think 10 days has been our max - at home, not camping, but it was during summer vacation) and then we may shower every day. however i have only showered twice a day v. v. rarely. 
 

 


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#66 of 109 Old 12-03-2011, 06:27 PM
 
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Wow, I have to admit I'm kind of surprised at some of the answers!  My husband and I have had this disagreement as well -he showers everyday without fail including washing hair, and I tend to go about once a week.  DD has a bath every night more for the sake of ritual than anything else and she gets her hair washed every other night.  This is also due to the fact that she is only 15 months, and gets food and everything else in there.  However, the one thing I have to say is, when I DO shower and wash my hair more often than once a week, I always feel better.  It feels good to be clean, and I think going once a week or once every two weeks for a kiddo is way too long -but that's just me.

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#67 of 109 Old 12-03-2011, 06:56 PM
 
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This thread fascinates me.

 

When DS was a baby and into his toddler years, we bathed him once a week.  He had  dry skin so anything more than once a week caused skin problems.  We would use goat milk soap on his butt and on his hair.

 

Once he became super active, in the summer, we had to bath him every night.  There was absolutely no way we could skip it, he was caked with dirt and mud as well as being super sweaty.  By then, his skin improved so that wasn't too much of an issue.  To this day, we still use goat milk or olive oil soap.  He is six and during the warmer months, daily baths are a must.  Now that winter in settling in, we will skip a day or two once in a while.

 

I am amazed there are adults that bath once a week or less.  My body chemistry requires I bath daily.  I have spent periods without bathing and times with trying to not use soap and it nearly drove me insane.  . 


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#68 of 109 Old 12-03-2011, 08:10 PM
 
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I am amazed there are adults that bath once a week or less.  My body chemistry requires I bath daily.  I have spent periods without bathing and times with trying to not use soap and it nearly drove me insane.  . 


I'm pretty amazed as well. In our family of two adults and two teen, everyone showers in the morning, and before bed. I can't imagine going to bed dirty.
 

 

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#69 of 109 Old 12-03-2011, 11:36 PM
 
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I'm pretty amazed as well. In our family of two adults and two teen, everyone showers in the morning, and before bed. I can't imagine going to bed dirty.
 

 



Up until just the last couple of months I have always showered every day.  I normally can't stand to leave the house un-showered.  Recently I've been skipping days because I can't seem to get a shower in before driving my oldest to school and then after that I just don't get a chance.  I kinda hate it.  I may have to just bite the bullet and actually get out of bed earlier.  But twice a day???  I can see if it's one person's habit and they just like it.  I don't see anything *wrong* with it, just wow!  twice a day for everyone in the family really amazes me.  I think I would feel like I was always getting in or out of the shower.  My grandfather is ocd and he used to literally force everyone in his household to bathe three times a day.  I remember hating to visit him for that very reason.  And when I look at the photos from when I was like 8, 9, 10 from summer trips, I am almost always wrapped in a towel or have one wrapped around my head.  My mother was a non-bather when I was growing up (now she showers every day like a normal person, lol).  But I'm pretty sure it was in reaction to having over-bathed growing up with him.


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#70 of 109 Old 12-04-2011, 03:55 AM
 
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Honestly, I'm surpised people would shower or bathe twice a day as a regular thing, without some specific reason for getting dirty again like working out at the gym or whatever. That seems wasteful to me. I'm all about keeping clean but I'm also all about conserving resources.

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#71 of 109 Old 12-04-2011, 04:25 AM
 
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I'm pretty amazed as well. In our family of two adults and two teen, everyone showers in the morning, and before bed. I can't imagine going to bed dirty.

 

What affects being dirty: 1) climate  2) physical exertion / exercise  3) an individual's body chemistry  4) time elapsed since last bath.

 

There are people that don't have a lot of smell and are "hypoallergenic" and "odorless" smile.gif naturally. Up to the point of sweat not smelling (at all, even after vigorous exercise - noted by other people, "you never smell of  anything") and the armpits not having any smell until 3 days after washing.

 

For others, it's the other end of the spectrum - smelly in a few hours after the shower.

 

"Dirty" for me, it's evidence-based: did I dig in the garden all day in hot summer humidity? was I on an episode of "Dirty Jobs"? did I fall into the swamp when I was hiking? did I get two hours of intense exercise? did I spill juice all over myself? am I covered with sawdust?

 

In humid and hot climate, the feeling is not "dirty", but "sticky" - it's annoying and for me it's worth taking a quick shower. But I don't live in Louisiana, so I don't need those everyday showers.

 

A day of sitting around in an air-conditioned office will not get me dirty, I know that.

 

Freshen-up methods are always available - bidet (or any substitute of it), washing up armpits.

 

So, if 1) the climate is cold and dry  2) the level of exercise is low  3) the person tends not to smell, even after exercising anyway, and skin is very dry  - why shower every day or even twice a day?

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#72 of 109 Old 12-04-2011, 10:17 AM
 
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For me, dirty is a feeling, rather than a subjective thing. We also find that showering before bed tends to cut down on allergens.

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#73 of 109 Old 12-04-2011, 10:25 AM
 
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What affects being dirty: 1) climate  2) physical exertion / exercise  3) an individual's body chemistry  4) time elapsed since last bath.

 

There are people that don't have a lot of smell and are "hypoallergenic" and "odorless" smile.gif naturally. Up to the point of sweat not smelling (at all, even after vigorous exercise - noted by other people, "you never smell of  anything") and the armpits not having any smell until 3 days after washing.

 

For others, it's the other end of the spectrum - smelly in a few hours after the shower.

 

"Dirty" for me, it's evidence-based: did I dig in the garden all day in hot summer humidity? was I on an episode of "Dirty Jobs"? did I fall into the swamp when I was hiking? did I get two hours of intense exercise? did I spill juice all over myself? am I covered with sawdust?

 

In humid and hot climate, the feeling is not "dirty", but "sticky" - it's annoying and for me it's worth taking a quick shower. But I don't live in Louisiana, so I don't need those everyday showers.

 

A day of sitting around in an air-conditioned office will not get me dirty, I know that.

 

Freshen-up methods are always available - bidet (or any substitute of it), washing up armpits.

 

So, if 1) the climate is cold and dry  2) the level of exercise is low  3) the person tends not to smell, even after exercising anyway, and skin is very dry  - why shower every day or even twice a day?



I hate feeling sticky.  I shower so much more in the summer b.c I just can't deal with feeling sticky.  If we have a string of 90 degree humid days our water bill spikes, but it's worth it to me.


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#74 of 109 Old 12-04-2011, 06:20 PM
 
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Honestly, I'm surpised people would shower or bathe twice a day as a regular thing, without some specific reason for getting dirty again like working out at the gym or whatever. That seems wasteful to me. I'm all about keeping clean but I'm also all about conserving resources.



Yeah, I live in a place where water is a precious resource, and I have to keep a close eye on the water bill.  If we go over our allotted usage, our bill starts spiking.  On top of laundry and dishes and the toilet and a kid who loves washing his hands, bathing twice a day would break the bank.  Not to mention the additional laundry from the towels. 

 

When the temperature spikes around here (a handful of days a year), we'll take a quick rinse in the shower before bed, so we can go to bed not feeling sticky, but that's usually the both of us in the same shower for about 2 minutes.  There's no way that 2 full showers a day (every day) would ever work for me though - my skin gets far too dry just from the water exposure.  Even just from doing the dishes. 


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#75 of 109 Old 12-04-2011, 09:31 PM
 
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DD (almost 2) gets a bath virtually every night, and that includes washing her hair (occasionally we will skip if we're out later than usual).

 

She goes to daycare and they do a ton of sensory activities, painting (they strip them down and let them paint on themselves, etc.), outdoor time, etc. so she is FILTHY when she comes home.She is also the world's messiest eater. So, between that and her love of water, it's easiest to just do bath every night. Luckily, we've had no issues with skin drying/sensitivity. 


When she was a baby (pre solids), it was more like once/week.

 

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#76 of 109 Old 12-05-2011, 12:39 AM
 
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For me, dirty is a feeling, rather than a subjective thing. We also find that showering before bed tends to cut down on allergens.



I'm curious about what kind of allergens you mean.  I'm horribly allergic to dust mites and if it'd help with that I might try it.  It seems though, that since they eat the dead skin in your bed (this horrifies me, btw), over-dry skin would be a bad idea.  I don't think I could require my hubby to do it, though, and if it was only one of us, I don't know that I'd see a difference.  


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#77 of 109 Old 12-05-2011, 01:10 AM
 
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DS is in kindergarten so he showers nightly.

DD is 2 and past the stage where food gets all over her (back then, I'd spray her down after every meal) so she has a shower every other day.

Their hair gets washed everytime they are in the shower and they both get baths once/week.

 

I grew up in a very hot and humid climate and we showered twice daily. I'm not sure if this is the reason for my dependence on a daily shower. Because if I do not get a shower (or skip washing my hair), I get flu-like symptoms and start running a low grade fever.That and my husband says that I'm grumpy until I've had my shower. LOL

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#78 of 109 Old 12-05-2011, 07:23 AM
 
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At that age I probably bathed them about twice a week.  I only did hair about once - we are all prone to dry hair and my oldest in particular hated having his hair done.

 

At this point in time, my girls seem to do their hair about every second day, my son is about twice a week, I am twice a week, and my husband is daily.  All make up there own minds based on when they feel the need.  

 

OP - There are shampoo bars available as well as shampoos that do not foam as much - maybe that will help with the washing hair drama?

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#79 of 109 Old 12-05-2011, 07:37 AM
 
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We always shower after swimming.  I can always feel the chlorine on my body and it trashes your hair. 

 

Ds is 11 and usually smells like dirty dog :)  He plays sports 5 days a week and they play football every day at recess...he's active and smelly.  Thankfully it's not a battle to make him shower.

 

Dd has butt length hair and we wash it once a week.  She doesn't get a stinky head for some reason, no matter how long we go.  It's been two weeks right now because there is a lice thing going on at school and lice like clean hair.  I'm keeping her dirty.  She takes a bath every other day, sometimes more, sometimes less.   It's winter so she's not getting hot and sweaty often, so a few times a week is fine for her.

 

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#80 of 109 Old 12-05-2011, 04:57 PM
 
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IMHO it's a matter of what feels right to you as a person and as a mum.  My two DD's are 9 & 11, they have a shower every other day and wash and condition their hair each time.  They wash faces, hands and other bits in between.  That said, this is winter.  We live in Greece, so it is perfectly normal to have as many as 4 showers a day in summer.... it reaches 45 degrees celcius and they are in and out of the sea and the pool so we factor in removing salt and chlorine.. We use a protective spray on their hair to combat the salt and chlorine but it never completely works. 

 

For us adults in summer its the same, one when you get up, one when you get home, one after siesta, then one when you get in from work.  We run a bar so are doing physical stuff all day long, and the stickiness is just too much to bear!!

 

For me it's all about how I feel. I LOVE a quick shower in summer just for those 10 seconds of coolness when I get out.  In winter I actually prefer a long hot soak in the bath and would do this every day if I could get away with it.

 

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#81 of 109 Old 12-06-2011, 09:43 AM
 
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Uh, yeah, "dirty" is a relative term.  As has been explained.

 

We would literally not be able to afford groceries if we were all showering twice daily.  We live in one of the highest water-cost areas of the region.  Holy cow, just thinking about what the bill would be like gives me the shivers.scared.gif lol 

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Originally Posted by coldandsleepy View Post

My son (a little over 2) gets a bad case of stinky scalp after a few days, and has only recently really gotten over having cradle cap (which smelled horrid).  We've found that washing his hair 2 or 3 times a week is sufficient to keep him fresh.  He sometimes gets bonus hair washes if he does things like play in the sandbox and dump sand in his hair.



The cure for cradle cap is tea tree shampoo, and conditioner too, if the shampoo dries his skin. Cradle cap is fungal and the tea tree kills it.

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#83 of 109 Old 12-08-2011, 10:53 AM
 
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My son is almost 3 and rarely has a shower or bath.  Maybe once or twice a month?  And even then I don't shampoo his hair.  He doesn't smell, he isn't dirty, his hair is never oily (he doesn't have much of it yet).  His hands and face get washed daily.  He did have more baths in the summer but even then it was probably only once a week.

 

I shower every day in the summer and every other day the rest of the year.


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#84 of 109 Old 12-09-2011, 12:09 PM
 
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The cure for cradle cap is tea tree shampoo, and conditioner too, if the shampoo dries his skin. Cradle cap is fungal and the tea tree kills it.



Tea tree shampoo/conditioner had absolutely no effect on his scalp despite months of regular use.  Nor did oiling his scalp & combing out the gunk, which is another thing people often suggest.  The combing would get rid of it temporarily, but in a matter of days it'd be back.  Believe me, we tried everything for him.  We eventually settled on just combing it out gently after we'd bathe him and after many many months of doing this, it stopped regenerating.

 

He *still* has a stinky head if we don't wash him every few days, though, even though the cradle cap is gone.  I think he has the same tendency towards oily scalp that my husband has.  (Which is probably better than getting my scalp, which is bone dry no matter what.)


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#85 of 109 Old 12-09-2011, 12:27 PM
 
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My kids (2,4) get baths most days and hair washes every three days. Their hair looks less than clean by the time we wash it. DH would wash it more if I would let him. To me, a week seems like the maximum but I know some cultures and perhaps people of different ethnicities need different hair care.

 

Also the 2 year old still has cradle cap and tee tree has had no effect. The only thing that makes a difference is scraping her scalp which, surprise, she hates. Olive oil makes it come off easier but she still hates it. Which would be the reason she still hates it.

 

As for the adults, we bathe at least once a day. Every adult I've ever know who claimed they weren't stinky, didn't use soap, didn't use deodorant of some type etc. etc. fill in the blank "natural" claims reeked to high heaven BO or crotch rot or some even worse "unknown" smell.

 

FInally, I am not Korean but I do go to an amazing Korean spa ever few months for a top to bottom. Takes every piece of dead skin off me and feels wonderful. There is something really life affirming and wonderful standing around naked with a bunch of Korean and Russians from age 2 to 92.

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#86 of 109 Old 12-10-2011, 08:11 AM
 
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Have you guys tried doing the tea tree alone without doing olive oil? Because I've heard with fungus (including yeast infections on nipples) that moisturizing gives it a place to grow (just like sweaty shoe for athletes foot). I never used the olive oil, and I know quite a few people that the tea tree has worked for. But maybe you have particularly bad cases, and you might want to try an anti-fungal cream and drying with a hair dryer after bathing...
 

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Tea tree shampoo/conditioner had absolutely no effect on his scalp despite months of regular use.  Nor did oiling his scalp & combing out the gunk, which is another thing people often suggest.

 

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Also the 2 year old still has cradle cap and tee tree has had no effect. The only thing that makes a difference is scraping her scalp which, surprise, she hates. Olive oil makes it come off easier but she still hates it.


Edit: I don't mean to sound pushy, I've battled alot of skin problems in my family and I know how hard it is for everyone

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#87 of 109 Old 12-10-2011, 04:05 PM
 
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I wonder about if I'm allowing mine to bathe too often?  Though the days they go a weekend without bathing there are complaints about irritation in the girl parts. I'm that way too though.  I can go a day or too but then I don't feels so fresh... I've tried just having them take a Whore bath, but they prefer a shower.  Though their skin does get pretty dry too. 

 

Lovely term. Thanks.
 

 

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I'm pretty amazed as well. In our family of two adults and two teen, everyone showers in the morning, and before bed. I can't imagine going to bed dirty.
 

 


I can't imagine having the shower run that much on a regular basis.

 

 

My kids take a bath about once a week. DD might jump in the shower with me an extra time or two. The kids don't generally soap up in the tub, but the shampoo runoff does a great job, as does sitting in the nice warm water.

 

OP, when my kids have swimming lessons or are at our swim club, they generally shower there before we come home. Gets that chlorine off right away and saves a step at home.

 

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#88 of 109 Old 12-11-2011, 05:14 AM
 
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My big 2 (3 and 5) get baths every other day.  My baby.. not enough IMO.  About once a week.  I think twice a week would be better for her.

 

I know some kids IRL who do the whole 'infrequent' bathing thing and it IS noticeable, IMO.


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#89 of 109 Old 12-11-2011, 07:12 PM
 
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DH takes a shower in the morning and a shower-bath combo in the evening to wind down. he was the stinky kid growing up so now he has a complex...

 

I take a full head to toe shower with soap every 2-3 days. Everyday if I can manage it- i tend to get stinky fast. I feel so renewed when if showered.

 

DD is bathed every night, though sometimes we skip if we're being lazy or we are out of our normal routine anyway.

 

DH and I always use soap, we skip out on it a lot with DD except when she has stink going on. Her hair is super short still so it gets washed 1x a weekish

 

Kids I can understand going long long stretches (unless diapers or other daily irritant is involved). Adolescents and adults really need to stay on top of it though. How often varies from person to person, but IMO if your hair is stuck together with body grease and you smell like butt, you need to be bathing more than you are! SIL only requires our 15 year old nephew to shower every two days--- every time we see him his hair is greasy and he stinks. My MIL has always had serious stink, like a mix of dirt and crotch rot, yet she'll stay for a 3-day weekend and not shower once. Sitting near her feet, using the bathroom after her, and sitting with her in the car are majorly offensive to my nose.


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#90 of 109 Old 12-11-2011, 09:43 PM
 
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Do we need a full shower to get rid of the smells?

 

either everyday or every alternate we do our bits. so localized cleaning. one doesnt need to take a shower to be less stinky. however that's a personal choice. 

 

i was used to taking two showers a day. i grew up where u needed to - due to not only climate, but also pollution.

 

once i changed residences it changed to once a day, then fewer. now that i do localized cleaning some times i can go a week without bathing. usually though that means taking a quick shampoo in the sink. if necessary. 


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