How often to bathe/wash hair??? (Help me settle this disagreement with my husband...) - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-11-2011, 09:47 PM
 
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As for the adults, we bathe at least once a day. Every adult I've ever know who claimed they weren't stinky, didn't use soap, didn't use deodorant of some type etc. etc. fill in the blank "natural" claims reeked to high heaven BO or crotch rot or some even worse "unknown" smell.


Gosh, I'm gonna try not to get a complex about this.  I am very, very sensitive to commercial deodorants and deodorant stones.  Like the rash I get is un-f'ing-bearable.  So I use coconut oil mixed with baking soda and corn starch.


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Old 12-12-2011, 03:12 AM
 
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Originally Posted by rubidoux View Post

 So I use coconut oil mixed with baking soda and corn starch.

tribes who lived in the dessert area usually take a dry mud bath - no water. so i experimented and tried things like dirt, flour (of different things that i could find like beans) and for me it was just like using soap. my skin felt fabulous. baking soda i still find too harsh on my skin directly. never thought about doing coconut together. 

 

however i have used soap berries too. that some use to do laundry actually. and it does a GREAT job with my hair and skin. its too expensive for me. but it blows my mind that there's a fruit that's dried and it is soapy - hardly any foam. 

 

interesting story. i was about dd's age and travelling. i can still remember being told that we were in an urban where a tribe comes through to sell grains they grew. they never smell. i dont know their bathing habits, but i remember running across them in the afternoon when they were going home, and they absolutely had NO BO. the no BO which for that season and time of day was just amazing still had an impact on me. 
 

 


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Old 12-12-2011, 09:59 PM
 
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Originally Posted by rubidoux View Post




Gosh, I'm gonna try not to get a complex about this.  I am very, very sensitive to commercial deodorants and deodorant stones.  Like the rash I get is un-f'ing-bearable.  So I use coconut oil mixed with baking soda and corn starch.



Ha. Tell me about it. After many years of use I started to have weird reactions to antiperspirant which gave me just weird and horrible smells so I switched to Tom's of Maine deodorant which gave me rashes. Finally switched to a handmade deodorant from easy (Soapwalla). All natural and no stink.

 

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Old 12-14-2011, 01:19 AM
 
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My daughters are 5 and 9, they have a shower everyday. (sure we skip the ODD day here and there if we are reallly busy) That includes soap all over, and conditioner in their hair. They shampoo AND condition their hair probaly twice a week. My husband and I shower at least once daily. It is socially/culturally unacceptable to not shower daily where we live, and I start to feel dirty if I dont. I think a daily shower with soap etc. is good hygiene and we dont wait until someone stinks before we wash.

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Old 01-03-2012, 08:35 PM
 
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I shower twice a day.  Yes, I am that woman.  I have really dry, sensitive skin and I've found that breaking up my grooming into two parts has actually helped.  I won't bore you with the details, but different tasks are done at different times except shampooing which may wait up to a week if I'm just not in the mood to deal with it.  I do work out in the early part of the day, and I'd prefer not to face the world with my yoga-funk.  I hate climbing in bed dirty, and if I crawled around on the floor cleaning up crumbs or cat hair, or walked to the store, or generally just went about my day, I feel dirty. 

Daughter, who is 3.5 mos. is bathed daily, at night, as part of her nighty-night routine.  I use soap and shampoo on her 3-4 times a week, or more if needed.  If she poops all the way up her back, it's needed.  Her skin is gorgeous.  She DEMANDS her bath, too.  After last feeding you have about 5 minutes to get her into nice warm water, or she pitches a fit.  (She also will let you know if her diaper is dirty in no uncertain terms.)

I'm aware that I probably don't need to bathe quite as much as I do, but I want to be frank here:  I skeeve people I suspect have not showered in over 48 hours.  I'm not sure I can always tell - probably can't, to be fair - but if you or your child has a thin film of crud, yes, yes I am backing away slowly.  And no, no you cannot hold my daughter.  Sorry.  I look at this along the same lines as my extreme aversion to eating food that came from a kitchen I know or suspect is not cleaned daily.  If I look in your car and see garbage on the floor board, I'm not eating whatever you brought to the potluck.  I still like you, but I ain't eatin' it.

 

I want to end with a smile.  :-)

 


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Old 01-05-2012, 10:21 AM
 
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I could have written 95% of your post, MrsGregory.

 

I'm known in my family for being a "clean freak", "neurotic", etc. I admit that I am to some extent. I'm just happier when I'm clean and when everything around me is clean and ordered. When I'm happier, my dd is happier, my husband is happier, etc.


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Old 01-05-2012, 12:58 PM
 
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To answer the OP: I think part of it depends on the kid's age. From your siggy, looks like your kids are roughly 1 and 2 years older than my daughter. My dd is in the bathtub every day or sometimes every other day. We either make it part of her nighttime routine, or do it earlier in the day if she's been out and about and playing at the park, etc. She doesn't have a whole lot of hair and her skin is really sensitive, so I only actually use soap maybe 1-2 times a week. Otherwise, it's just a good rinse and a scrub on her scalp with very warm water.

 

One a week, to me, is the BARE minimum and less than that is yucky to me. And the pool is so, SO not eqivalent to bathing! Quite the opposite, in fact.


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Old 01-05-2012, 01:51 PM
 
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Originally Posted by DoubleDouble View Post

My husband smells like cumin and spices, too! He doesn't get stinky (not for a few days), he smells awesome!



 

 

You know....it's weird, but my husband (who has a short, trimmed beard) sometimes has an odd smell in his beard before he showers. It's kind of a smoky smell; I told him that it reminded me of pepper-roasting season in New Mexico. And it never has anything to do with what he's eaten.

 

Now that yall are mentioning it here, I can finally place the smell-- it smells like cumin. A spice which I never use, btw. What a weird mystery, huh?


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Old 01-05-2012, 07:45 PM
 
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Originally Posted by coffeegirl View Post

I could have written 95% of your post, MrsGregory.

 

I'm known in my family for being a "clean freak", "neurotic", etc. I admit that I am to some extent. I'm just happier when I'm clean and when everything around me is clean and ordered. When I'm happier, my dd is happier, my husband is happier, etc.



Yeppers.  My clean-freakiness comes from my family though - so I get very little guff about it from them.  I get guff from the gal pals, sometimes.  That sucks.  I respect your choice to not wash your dishes every day.  Please understand that when I ask you to wait 10 minutes so I can wash mine, I want the same silent courtesy. 

I also really, really hate it when un-tidy people assume I am judging the heck out of them and about to vomit in my mouth just being in their messy and perhaps downright dirty home.  Am I a bit uncomfortable sitting on a year's worth of cat hair?  Will I drink the coffee you offer me from a suspicious mug?  Yes, and no.  But I am no more uncomfortable in your home than you are in mine.  I see you glaring at my cream carpet.  I know what you're wondering.  Yes, yes I do have shares of Resolve Carpet Cleaner's parent company.  Yes, I will cry if you drop your tea.

Seriously.  Just because I am the way I am doesn't mean I begrudge you the way you are.  Relax.  Stop apologizing for the mess.  Offer me a lint-roller when I stand up.  :-D

 

 


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Old 01-05-2012, 07:58 PM
 
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I bath twice a day. Hair every other day. My kids bath every day too. Anything less than this is just gross to me.

People do not notice their own or their kids smell.  Everyone else does.

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Old 01-05-2012, 08:40 PM
 
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I can't imagine having the shower run that much on a regular basis.

 

 

Me, either. That would cost me a fortune, and we don't have a big enough hot water tank for everyone to do that, anyway. We'd be showering all day.


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Old 01-06-2012, 03:32 PM
 
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I'm trying to imagine bathing all 6 of us on a daily basis during the very limited hours we are home. Just not possible. I'm guessing some must live in places where hot water isn't a concern or have MASSIVE hot water tanks. We are limited to one bath/shower per every 1.5 hours in the winter. And even then I don't have enough hot water to wash hair, body and shave at the same time. The water is just too cold and I run through the hot water so quickly. When it is warmer in the summer, we can get two quick showers out of one tank, really quick showers are the key. I've already posted on this thread but our bathing is a carefully staggered event morning and night. Adults take turns in the mornings every other day, 2 kids a night, the next night, the other two. 

 

We spent a year when I was growing up with no hot water. We warmed water we had to haul from 10 miles away near a fire, poured it into a 5 gallon bucket that we had outfitted with a nozzle. That bucket had to last for two people. Needless to say daily showers did not happen. 


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Old 01-06-2012, 03:46 PM
 
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I aim for twice a week baths with hair washing once a week and nail trimming once a week but I dont always manage it. Sometimes they get really dirty and i chuck them in the bath randomly. Mine are 3 and 7. I shower daily and wash my hair every 3-4 days but I'm an adult and get sweaty.

 

I realy should bath them more, they often look a bit grimy!

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Old 01-07-2012, 04:09 PM
 
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My girls are 5 and 7 and they bathe every other day due to eczema. Sometimes we'll skip a bath day but not usually...definitely not in the summer. We live in the desert and it's gross outside in the summer.


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Old 01-14-2012, 04:10 PM
 
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I bathe my kids every day because a) it's soothes them/gets them in mind for bed b) they do so much art that their hands and often faces are covered with ink, oil pastel, paint, etc.  c) if I don't, they both get stingy bottoms.  In summer we wash hair every day and in winter, every other.

 

My kids are really active and we live in a rural area with woods, dirt, etc.  Also, we have two big dogs that shed, and despite frequent grooming/vacuuming, there is a fair amount of dogness to  be removed.

 

My husband and I shower basically every day.  But I love going wild while camping or when on spiritual retreat.  I actually dig the greasy hair and layer of camp fire/dirt on me.  :-)


Another factor to our every day bathing:  ticks.  We live in a super high lyme area, and for much of the year, it's a great idea to be naked, focused on your body and running your hands through your hair at the end of the day.  

 

Other cultures:  you might be surprised.  I lived in two very rural areas of west africa, and people there bathed TWICE daily as a rule.  Yes, it was just a bucket of water and bar soap efficiently used, but people couldn't imagine not wanting to freshen up and then get all the dust off at the end of the day.  When I was in the urban areas, on crowded buses, it was so unlike the NYC buses/subways ... people in Africa, as a rule, are super clean.  Us Americans are a stinky lot, even with our showers and deoderants ... in West Africa, at least where I've travelled, you can take a deep breath on public transportation without fear! 

 

 


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Old 01-14-2012, 05:48 PM
 
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Every day. My partner and I often shower together, DD too with one of the two of us, and if not, she showers by herself. It's our nightly ritual.

I shower twice daily. Once at night, which is longer and more to relax, scrub the day's grime off me, get ready for bed. Once in the morning, which is a quick in and out with a shower cap on, to wake myself up. DD will often join me then too, she loves water. We forego the morning shower in favour of a swim if we're in a place with a pool.

 

I agree with Subhuti's assessment of other cultures. Most of my time abroad has been all over Asia rather than in Africa, but same story. Almost universally, people are cleaner than in N. America. It's very hard to come back to the US or Canada after that, because you find disgust in other people. I have a very sensitive sense of smell, and it overwhelms me when I come back to the city after being away for a while. It's disgusting.

 

You can eat off the streets of Singapore, they're so clean, and the people are as clean as their city.

 

People in rural India and Nepal have little means for anything but bare survival, yet they're exceptionally clean and keep their bodies, spaces, and food clean. North Americans and western Europeans have excess and means for excess of just about everything, except personal hygiene.

 

England was the worst. Maybe not any more, but 20 years ago it sure was. One summer break, between 3rd and 4th grade for me (I was 7, turning 8 over summer) my mom took us travelling. We'd been in Taiwan - beautiful, clean, orderly Taiwan, where we and everyone else bathed at least every other day, even if they had to visit a public bath - for 2 months and were stopping over for our last month abroad in England. We stayed with a lovely family, friends of my mom's from way back, and the first day was great. Second day was great. Their daughter was my age and we made fast friends. Then the third, fourth and fifth day came, and still no one ELSE had taken a bath. My mom, brother and I had discreetly asked to shower on the third day, they acted a little bewildered - didn't we just shower the night we got there? They indulged us, mercifully. Finally I could take no more of the other girl's odour and just slept with my mom. The 7th day there was a Tuesday and the family's three kids were all dragged, kicking and screaming, to their weekly bath. The whole family bathed on Tuesday and no more.

 

And it. Was. Gross. They didn't think anything of it, my brother made some juvenile comment to the girl about her smelling and no one in her family thought she smelled. But she did. Badly. And it wasn't like these people didn't have hot water or the means to run it. They were well off, middle-Englanders in a prosperous time, and when water was insanely cheap. It just wasn't in their culture to bathe often, and most of the other people we met there seemed to have the same ideas, by the tell-tale-stench.

 

Even if YOU don't think you or your kids smell after not bathing in many days, trust me, YOU DO. Even if you're not getting dirty or really sweaty, you do sweat, especially at night, and you do get dirty even if you don't leave the house.

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Old 01-16-2012, 04:47 PM
 
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gosh people are stinky everywhere. i dont think you can point to a country and say one is less stinkier than the other.

 

i grew up in a few asian countries. i would never ever say they were the cleanest. what was worse was the scented powder they used to hide the smell.

 

however in many areas where it was humid and hot, it wasnt all about stink from body. even if you took baths twice a day but didnt change your clothes (changed your underwear but not outerwear) you would still stink. 

 

coming from an asian country my experience has certainly not been that N America is stinkier than Asia. in fact its just the opposite. 

 

and for many of those people - those who were really poor, living in cities in the ghettos - they rarely had enough water to stay as clean as they would like to. 

 

urban ghettos are the stinkiest no matter where you do - whichever end of the globe you are in.


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Old 01-16-2012, 08:56 PM
 
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I can occasionally smell other people's body odour, but it doesn't bother me, unless it's just vile and rank (heavy drinkers who haven't bathed recently are impossible to be close to, for instance). I, personally, don't think daily showers and baths are even remotely necessary for the majority of people (my dad took a bath every day...but he'd also spent that whole day hauling furniture up and down stairs, packing stuff into a truck, getting dust on himself, etc....my ex used to shower daily when he was doing drywall installation, too).

 

I've never travelled outside of North America (and it's likely that I never will), but I've also noticed that North Americans can really stink. However, I've found the offenders to be hair spray, perfume, cologne, after shave, scented cleaning products, etc. on many, many, many more occasions than I've been even remotely bothered by someone's natural body odour.


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Old 01-17-2012, 02:53 PM
 
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I think it depends on the kid and the circumstances.  

 

My 3 year old gets a bath daily because it's part of his routine.  I couldn't skip it even if I wanted to.  He's still in diapers and frequently gets stuff in his hair, so a daily bath is probably a good thing anyway.  If his hair is particularly clean, I might skip washing it with soap.  

 

With my 6 year old, it's on an as needed basis.  During the school year, especially during the coldest months, she might only get a bath or shower once a week.  During the warmer months and especially over the summer, it might be as often as daily depending on what she's been doing.  I'm sure as she gets older and develops some body odor, she might start needing to bathe more often, but for now she always smells lovely.  

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