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Effects of open sky or flowing water on children

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2K views 28 replies 17 participants last post by  onlyzombiecat 
#1 ·
We're house hunting and are basically

now looking at 2 places. One, which I

will call "Sky." is on the side of one of

the highest hills in the area. Most of the

land is cleared, including around the house,

revealing a whole lot of sky and views of

the surrounding hills that are roughly at the

same height that we would be on. The view

reveals the sky above and the land around;

there's no looking down at lower areas.

The other house, which I will call "Water"

sits among tall trees and its about 100 yards

from a large river. One can see the river from

the house as the trees around it are on the

sides away from the river. There's little sky

but there's is a whole lot of water constantly,

slowly, flowing past.

I wonder what people think the affect "Sky"

or "Water" would have on children. What

affect would growing up in a place where there's little

but you, the earth below and sky versus a growing up

in a place shared with nearby trees, the earth below

and a large river.
 
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#2 ·
I vote for water. There is a small river right behind my house and my boys LOVE playing in it. We have caught fish, frogs, toads, crayfish, snails, clams, and turtles there. We watch ducks, geese, snowy egrets, various hawks, muskrats, and great blue herons. We even see bald eagles every once in a while. The kids have manipulated the river rocks to change how the water flows (slightly). It's shallow enough to walk around in and cross by foot. We examine animal tracks in the mud. We listen to frogs and toads singing at night through our open bedroom windows.

The only drawback is the difficulty of keeping them indoors when they have do to homework!
 
#6 ·
i have lived 50 ft from a wide big river since dd was 3. it does not scare me.

it would be a hard choice for me. for dd i'd choose water. water is healing for her. playing with water lowers her temperature, reduces her pain and if seh is not feeling well, makes her feel better.

for me seeing the sky is a huge upliftment for my spirit.

however for both of us - oh those trees to climb on. we would both LOVE that.

however what's more important is is there land to walk around there. we were always back there hiking and playing.
 
#7 ·
having dealt with ''effects" that do effect those near water-NEVER AGAIN!

only sky

and we were more than 50 ft from the river in an area that NEVER flood and we had 3 "once in a hundred year" floods in 4 years

sometimes you don't think of what can effect you when the river floods in other areas and you are not even real close
 
#8 ·
oh i forgot. we get those floods about once in 10 years. that is why our garages and basements are not filled with stuff. when we get a flood warning we move thinks quickly. even the cars.

and when the floods come dd and i go on a canoe ride - and one year we picked up these floating light bulbs and to our delight they all worked.

but this was a big wide river.

however it cant imagine either sky or water being harmful when you are not surrounded by asphalt and buildings. as long as you come across people once in a while.

its nice to live on top of a hill - if you will constantly have a car. yikes. i cant think of walking up and down on a regular basis - for a city girl.
 
#13 ·
I think it totally depends on the child. For an idea of how each would affect your LO, check out their astrological signs in their natal chart and do an analysis from there. You can also look at their Chinese sign (particularly the element for that year) and see how they fall on the creation/destruction circles for each element.
 
#14 ·
Thanks for the great advice and cautions.

We've gone back and forth about just about

everything having to do with the houses and

I recently recalled the feeling I had being at

the 2 places for the first time. At Sky it was

like I was suddenly taller and breathing more

deeply. At Water I was drawn to the water

and a feeling of quiet or something similar to

being by the ocean settled in me.

Besides perhaps more practical considerations

what affect do people think Sky or Water (if it

could somehow be totally safe) would have

on little spirits or personalities growing near

them or if Sky or Water were quiet, constant

coparents for years in the children's lives what

affect would you think they would have?
 
#15 ·
I grew up in the valley with the mountains on one side, the ocean on the other and numerous rivers and lakes all around me. I'm pretty sure I had it all. I can say the sky is healing but the water is peaceful. I would have such a hard time choosing. If I do get the job of my dreams on the islands of the Strait of Juan De Fuca... I'll be looking for a spot close to the water so that I can watch the whales go by in the spring and have the open sky for my spirit.
 
#16 ·
Quote:
affect would you think they would have?
IF you are dealing with all the "issues" that can arise being near water (loss of power, loss of clean drinking water, mold, swamp area, moving belonging, being out of your house or not having it directly effect your house but others, debris left behind by devastating flooding, loss of fishing area - recreational activity, etc) - it turns you off real quick! lots of negative energy

IMO
 
#17 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by aparent View Post

Besides perhaps more practical considerations

what affect do people think Sky or Water (if it

could somehow be totally safe) would have

on little spirits or personalities growing near

them or if Sky or Water were quiet, constant

coparents for years in the children's lives what

affect would you think they would have?
i dont think you could predict one or the other. as society is right now and your own family traditions.

for instance with the native american tribe in my area - sadly they are away from water right now, but water was part of their tradition. so they had rituals in the water and outside. rituals to mourn, rituals to 'recover'... if you start your own ritual that you do regularly then there is something to that tradition and the place you are in. you dont have to be religious. just whatever your spirit calls you out to.

some children are attracted to one type, but if a connection is made with the opposite then they connect to it.

if sky is your choice and you tell your children stories about john muir and others and make the forests come alive to them through your stories (not reading from a book) then they are giving them an experience of the forest that they will treasure all their lives. i did not ever go near the mountains when i was a child, but i read many books on them and that's how i connected with them. thru poetry, travelogues and paintings/photos. i didnt get to go to the mountains till i was middle age but the moment i stepped foot on it, i was home. it uplifted my spirits in a way nothing can. i dont like the beach. however we did go to a beach where we had to scramble down and then up again. the beach itself didnt mean much to me, but the scrambling up and down the very very steep slope did.

its the same with dd. she is a water horse and naturally loves no LOVES the water. it is a deep connection for her. BUT she has discovered mountains through me. and she feels a deep connection with them too. and usually do find some water there. like for instance we hike thru difficult steep high desert and then hang by the lake there. while i stay at the lake dd goes rock climbing with my pals and runs them ragged.

we have both had near death experiences in the river but it has not made us afraid of it.

every place has its 'place'. there is something to a city awakening in the morning. at break of dawn. there is a connection there.

so honestly now that i come to think of it, really waht is best for our child? any place you can bring the magic. doesnt have to be sky or water.

in fact i have helped dd find the specialness in city life - in crowded city life - so that when she needs to go into hibernation from her adult stressed out life, she can find it right there. she doesnt need to go anywhere else.

however as the protector of the future earth she has to be connected to nature otherwise how will she ever be able to protect it?
 
#18 ·
Can you post pictures? It is hard for me to envision the different spaces from the description.. Is the water one closed in? Dark and shady? what are the yards like in both places? I don't think there is one answer regarding if living with open sky or flowing water are better because there are so many other factors that contribute to the energetics of the place. I totally get what you are asking about energetics- I think in those terms a lot too. but I am just not getting a clear feeling about either place based on the description so far. It is interesting to me though, Can you give more description of the yards and how much light each palce has-? Is it a yard, wooded,? thanks
 
#19 ·
I think that children often learn to love what they know - so whatever you bring to their childhood, that will be a place where they feel safe and connected - unless as some of the PPs mentioned, you end up having a hard experience from living near water.

I love wet places and grew up in a rainforest surrounded by mountains.

I would have a hard time living in an open place with no water or mountains.

I think that both places can inspire creative play and awe in children, it just differs.

I'm in awe of open skies and also in awe of pounding rivers.

I'd take any fears you might have about the environments in each place into account. If your child will grow up feeling worried that he/she isn't safe near the water, then I'd prefer sky. We chose a place to live that feels very safe. Although it might not have all of the natural elements that I might desire, it has natural spaces and I do not worry about my child's well-being in those spaces, so she can feel comfortable exploring without me. For me, that was the most important element - our positive interaction with that environment.
 
#21 ·
I would rather not live near a highway either. I like neighborhoods where children can safely play outdoors with intermittent adult supervision after the age of not-knowing-how-to-cross-streets (around 8 or so). I have lived near a highway, and on busy streets, but I prefer neighborhoods with low traffic and safe play areas. Proximity to large rivers would make me feel less mellow about unsupervised 3rd graders wandering between yards.
 
#22 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by stik View Post

I would rather not live near a highway either. I like neighborhoods where children can safely play outdoors with intermittent adult supervision after the age of not-knowing-how-to-cross-streets (around 8 or so). I have lived near a highway, and on busy streets, but I prefer neighborhoods with low traffic and safe play areas. Proximity to large rivers would make me feel less mellow about unsupervised 3rd graders wandering between yards.
i think everybody wishes they lived in places like that where children could play merrily outdoors with no hazards, don't you?
 
#23 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by stik View Post

Proximity to large rivers would make me feel less mellow about unsupervised 3rd graders wandering between yards.
For me I feel it really depends on the child. dd is the kind of child who listened - even at 10 months old. the stove is HOT. dont go near it. never once did she go near it. street is busy. one time she ran out and i freaked on her. never again has she ever ventured out on the street (though we did a lot of walking and public transportation then).

even at 3 having a boat ramp and rocks i still did not ever feel uneasy about dd being unsupervised on land. i'd go and get something or she'd be left for a few moments. but she knew the water was dangerous and no getting into it without a life jacket. she also knew the property was a fast water flow area and that we'd have to go a couple of blocks to actually get into the water.

i think children born with water around them and having been taught water safety see water differently than those who were introduced later on. dd was born around a swimming pool and so for her water safety was a no brainer. street safety was a no brainer. just like when u live on a busy street or water you are careful you do the same - be more cautious. however for me it did not make me that worried enough to want to change residences. interestingly enough almost all of dd's dc kids grew up around water (swimming pool) and could swim like a fish by the time they were 3.

honestly for me water or trees, a creek or a forest to explore around - is such a privilege - such a rare opportunity for city people that that would not be the part where i'd place my focus on to see which one works. i'd look at other things because for me both those options are equal. if after looking at all other practical factor it came down to water or sky, i'd look at myself and see where i'd make a better parent and choose that. if you are constantly going to be freaked out about water then obviously no matter what your child likes, water is not good for YOU.

coincidentally dd's dad grew up a block away from the river. one day his mom woke up to find him and his little brother gone. ended up calling the police and they found those boys had picked the lock, walked down a block, climbed down a long flight of stairs from a bridge adn were calmly playing in the water. her dad was 3 and his brother was 2. the only reason why the police found them because they had gotten hungry and had climbed up the stairs heading home for a snack. no one ever thought they would have taken that route and were playing on the beach.
 
#24 ·
I'm saddened by the near hysterical fear some people seem to have of water...yikes! I mean I get a comment like "yeah, waters cool, but remember to talk about and be mindful of water safety, etc" - but a few posters seem REALLY negative about water. Well, "different strokes...etc" I guess.

OP, I totally get what you are asking.

We live on a granite ledge, that puts us about 50' above a beautiful, mid-sized lake. It takes about two minutes to walk down the trail behind our house to our dock and kayaking is one of our favorite family past times. Being close to and on the water is so completely soothing for us. What's nice about our location, is that across the lake from us there is only Boy Scout and Conservation land...so we can't see any houses and don't really get boats and things like that down here....all we see from the back of the house and back porch, is the lake and then, on the other side of it, rolling hills as far as the eye can see. Being relatively high up on a ledge, looking out the back of the house through any windows or from the back porch, all the trees you see, you can only see from half way up the tree and beyond, you can't see the bottoms of the trees and this makes the home feel like it's a tree house. We actually call it The Tree House. It feels fun, tucked away and safe....the feeling of safety, feeling tucked up and away is really nice. At the same time, the fact that there is SOOOO much sky, over the lake and all around us, means BIG "star factor"....the night sky here, because we are so far from anything, is CRAZY awesome and my daughters love for an curiosity about the stars and the whole universe have budded from a very small age because of our long evenings spent outdoors, looking up at the sky, while we lay in each others arms.

I highly recommend SKY....we can think better on the lake, with all that sky above us. We get so many awesome birds, hawks and bald eagles floating around in lazy circles...and the sunsets, sun rises and snow, etc are amazing here. Sky makes us feel very energized and happy...it's funny, but this patch of sky we have above us, because there is no one else around us that we can see, only woods, really feels like OURS...it feels like it is looking down on us, it's a part of our story here.

But that's the back of the house....off the ledge..overlooking the lake...that's the BIG OPEN SKY side. Out the front of our house is a different story entirely!

The front is flat, if not slightly sloping land....as we sit in a clearing, the dirrent surroundings for about 50 feet is "forest floor-ish"...but then it's woods. Deep, beautiful, old woods. Trees, trees trees......all tall and skinny, because there are so many of them, that in competing for light, they had to shoot up so tall....but mixed into all these tall, skinny trees...when you go deeper, are beautiful, twisted, huge old trees. The kinds of trees you could go into with a good book and rest in, comfortably, for hours. Pine needles litter the ground, there is so much moss that you don't need shoes. The reason for the moss, is the series of small brooks that serve as run-off for higher ground...drier times of year, they are smaller, but they become much larger (though never dangerously fast or deep or anything) during times of year that are wetter, or when spring comes and snow melts. The woods being so nice and fertile, they are an awesome place for foraging different edibles from fiddle heads, to autumn olives and a range of herbs. We have SO many newts here, because of the water, and our chickens make some of the finest eggs I've ever seen for all the newts, frogs and other such things that they consume. We love being out in our woods....which spread out around us for miles (again, lots of conservation land, cliff trails, etc) and find great comfort in laying on our backs, looking up at light filtering through trees.

So out the back of the house we have big sky and stars, birds and views of rolling hills and clouds. Out the front of the house, the nestling coverage of trees, the beauty of flowing brooks and all the life that springs up around them.

If I had to do away with one....geesh, that would be hard....but if I had to choose, I'd choose the front. I'd choose thick trees, deep woods and brooks. But I'm SO glad I don't have to make that choice.

Here is a list of things about our property that I couldn't live without:

- Our floor plan: house begins with kitchen, which is open to a huge living room...that whole side of the house is open from floor to ceiling and the second story is a huge loft that opens to that space. I don't know how I ever had a single clear thought in a more closed off floor plan. This floor plan allows for our entire "family" space, to be open and means that our relatively small house feels HUGE.

- Privacy. This has come to mean more to us than perhaps anything else. We cannot see anyone elses house and no one else can see us. We live at the very end of a long dirt road....that is connected to a series of long, dirt private roads. When we are home, we are alone. There is no noise that is not ours. We can do whatever we'd like in our yard and play silly games and the kids have whatever magical kingdom they can imagine outside. We have wild bonfires and just look at the stars and the kids can run around in the yard chasing firebugs and it feels really idyllic because we're alone.

- The lake. It doesn't matter how stressful a day my DH has had at the shop....when he comes home and we take some food down to the dock and then hop into the kayaks and go silently sailing, fishing and relaxing past the singing loons (our pair for this lake had a baby this year, AMAZING!) and the silent, waiting herons....well, it's hard to be very stressed about anything at all. The quiet lapping of water on the deck poles is enough to lull us to sleep, when I take the kids down to read books on blankets and pillows near the water. The kids absolutely love the kayaks...and nothing is more beautiful than being out on the ice in the winter time. The end of the lake we live on, gets very shallow during the winter, only about three feet deep at most parts, with sand bard and everything near the marshy end...and it's so much fun to skate and explore out there without worry about crashing through the ice. Any time of year, the lake is freaking awesome. We dont have to worry about flooding, because we're raised up on a ledge above it...and I highly recommend seeking out a situation like that, raised up above a body of water.

So, yeah. That is a description of our location. I looked for......EVER.....for our house. It was, almost literally, my full time occupation. We waited, waited, looked and looked....we passed up so many houses that I was like "man, that was the one...we shouldn't have passed, that was THE house for us" - but I knew in my heart there was another place, some other house that we would just "know" when we walked into it.

I didn't even see the inside of the house, before I call my husband and said "I found it"...and I was right. I drove up....and it actually felt like I was driving home. In m very bones, I could feel the thousands of times I would drive up to this same house. It was a foreclosure property, that last sold (five years ago, maybe six now) for close to $300,000.....we bought it for $100,000 and the bank paid the $5,000 in closing costs. We stole this house. It was just meant to be. I had to work my butt off to get this loan approved...the private roads, the bank that owned the home...so many things caused hiccups and problems and more than once (or twice, or four time) our mortgage broker (a family friend) said "I don't know that underwriting is gonna be able to make this happen guys" and I was like "yeah, whatever Jay, what do I have to do, what do they need" - the hoops I jumped through were crazy....June 18th, I drove up to this house and said "we're putting in an offer today" - it was almost October before our closing date.

My DD was a baby when we moved here and has only known this place. My son was born here, in the kitchen. It's just our house. Like it was always our house. We found our corner of the universe.

So, OP, I tell you all of that....because of all of the perfect houses that I walked from, that I realize now where not perfect. Decide what you want, build your ideal home in your head.....and then find that house and freaking make it happen. If you find yourself torn between SKY and WATER...like I definitely was in different ways...scrap both houses and find the house with BOTH.

I didn't think this house existed outside of my dreams. It's just a little 1450 sq ft house...but it holds all of our dreams and wishes and there isn't a thing about it we would change. FIND YOUR HOUSE! I'm so excited for you!!

Unedited post, sorry.
 
#25 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by meemee View Post

For me I feel it really depends on the child. dd is the kind of child who listened - even at 10 months old. the stove is HOT. dont go near it. never once did she go near it. street is busy. one time she ran out and i freaked on her. never again has she ever ventured out on the street (though we did a lot of walking and public transportation then).

even at 3 having a boat ramp and rocks i still did not ever feel uneasy about dd being unsupervised on land. i'd go and get something or she'd be left for a few moments. but she knew the water was dangerous and no getting into it without a life jacket. she also knew the property was a fast water flow area and that we'd have to go a couple of blocks to actually get into the water.

i think children born with water around them and having been taught water safety see water differently than those who were introduced later on. dd was born around a swimming pool and so for her water safety was a no brainer. street safety was a no brainer. just like when u live on a busy street or water you are careful you do the same - be more cautious. however for me it did not make me that worried enough to want to change residences. interestingly enough almost all of dd's dc kids grew up around water (swimming pool) and could swim like a fish by the time they were 3.

honestly for me water or trees, a creek or a forest to explore around - is such a privilege - such a rare opportunity for city people that that would not be the part where i'd place my focus on to see which one works. i'd look at other things because for me both those options are equal. if after looking at all other practical factor it came down to water or sky, i'd look at myself and see where i'd make a better parent and choose that. if you are constantly going to be freaked out about water then obviously no matter what your child likes, water is not good for YOU.

coincidentally dd's dad grew up a block away from the river. one day his mom woke up to find him and his little brother gone. ended up calling the police and they found those boys had picked the lock, walked down a block, climbed down a long flight of stairs from a bridge adn were calmly playing in the water. her dad was 3 and his brother was 2. the only reason why the police found them because they had gotten hungry and had climbed up the stairs heading home for a snack. no one ever thought they would have taken that route and were playing on the beach.
^This.

It's like growing up in the country around guns and hunting. I know people who think that hunting is horrible and that guns should be outlawed and that they are SO dangerous, etc. Yeah, our guns are out of reach of childrens hands...but even when we're using/cleaning/inspecting them, the kids don't pay them anymore mind than they might if I were using a hammer to nail something up, or cutting some chicken with a knife. They don't see them as killing machines. They are tools that help us live and when you grow up around them, know how to properly handle them and use them...it's just not interesting to you, you're not sneaking into the gun cabinet to get a closer look, you know? My DD shot the smallest rifle (just a little .22) this past summer....I know it makes us sound like some "cultureless hicks"...but we're actually well educated, open minded people and world culture, the arts, music, literature, etc are a big part of our parenting and life, certainly a bigger part of our lives than gun use. But yeah, we're hickish according to a lot of my city and suburb dwelling friends. For a three year old, my DDs a damn fine shot. Under proper guidance and supervision, guns are a safe and a normal part of a country lifestyle. When she's ten, she'll have her own for sport shooting, if she wants it. The reason she wanted to shoot it in the first place, is because she thought she could hit a target better than her dada or her mama....and she wanted to try. Cool with me. She very closely listened to the proper safety and handling speech, wore her safety gear...and handled the weapon, as bulky as it was for her, with respect...because she knows that it is very powerful and to be respected.

THe lake is the same. They're already learning how to swim at two and three and when they're old enough, they will learn cold water/fully clothed emergency swimming skills. The lake is as dangerous as you let it be. Sport/hunting guns are as dangerous as you let them be. Kitchen knives, medicines, woodstoves, any number of things you may have in your homes....are as dangerous as you let them be.
 
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#26 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by AverysMomma View Post

I'm saddened by the near hysterical fear some people seem to have of water...yikes! I mean I get a comment like "yeah, waters cool, but remember to talk about and be mindful of water safety, etc" - but a few posters seem REALLY negative about water. Well, "different strokes...etc" I guess.
I could do both approaches. Where I was growing up, there were a creek, a river, and a big river near our house. We spent so much time on the water as kids. Rowing, swimming, fishing, playing. The creek and the river were about a 100 yards away. I can't imagine growing up without that. It was happiness. But... we were properly supervised and taught. For a neighbor boy, things ended badly - and his twin brother saw it. I still remember how the whole neighborhood was on the banks, and people were looking for the body in the river. He was five years old, he was throwing sticks off the bridge and fell.

So... I don't know. As a kid, river meant "awesome". As a parent, it would mean "vigilance". And "awesome".
 
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