I got an ugly letter in the mail on Christmas Eve! - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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Old 12-29-2011, 11:04 AM
 
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Eeeek.  Sorry for the not-so-nice letter, OP, and sorry that things can be hard as a single mom.  However, I agree with ErinYay.  This letter, though mean, could be a great impetus for determining if you really do yell unnecessarily, and what you could do to stop.  In every piece of negative, yucky criticism I receive, I try to find out if there is truth behind the ugliness.  Because sometimes people aren't so great at truth-telling in a nice way. 

 

FWIW, I feel for you.  But this subject is close to my heart; my parents both spanked and yelled, and the yelling has been FAR more damaging to my relationship with them than the spanking. 


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Old 12-29-2011, 11:20 AM
 
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Originally Posted by rachieface View Post

Eeeek.  Sorry for the not-so-nice letter, OP, and sorry that things can be hard as a single mom.  However, I agree with ErinYay.  This letter, though mean, could be a great impetus for determining if you really do yell unnecessarily, and what you could do to stop.  In every piece of negative, yucky criticism I receive, I try to find out if there is truth behind the ugliness.  Because sometimes people aren't so great at truth-telling in a nice way. 

 

FWIW, I feel for you.  But this subject is close to my heart; my parents both spanked and yelled, and the yelling has been FAR more damaging to my relationship with them than the spanking. 



This wasn't "negative, yucky criticism". This was a direct threat. Maybe OP does yell too much. None of us know that. I just haven't seen anything in this thread to suggest that she does. A nasty letter from an anonymous source wouldn't even make me think twice about my parenting (and I second-guess myself constantly). I always consider the source, and when the source is a gutless, anonymous maker of threats, what they have to say doesn't mean much.

 

People like the one(s) who left the OP that note are the source of a lot of problems, for a lot of people. The only possible result of a note like that is to add more stress to someone's life, and if the busybody thinks she yells at her children too much, adding more stress isn't going to be helpful.

 

I'm actually feeling really discouraged by the fact that a significant number of people on this thread seem to be assuming that OP does yell at her kids all the time, just because she received a nasty note to that effect. That old saying about "where there's smoke, there's fire" is wildly inaccurate, and an anonymous accusation is hardly proof of guilt. Frankly, the phrasing of that note comes across to me as an all out attempt to make OP feel like crap, and I see no evidence of real concern anywhere in it.


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Old 12-29-2011, 11:32 AM
 
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I have found being a single mom opens you up for so much more criticism and interference from others. Its maddening.


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Old 12-29-2011, 02:38 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Emilie2 View Post

I have found being a single mom opens you up for so much more criticism and interference from others. Its maddening.



 

 

Exactly.

Not to mention, there are some people have nothing better to do than sending threatening letters to neighbors. If they were really so concerned, then drop by and offer to help. Sometimes parents shout. Parenting can be hard. Im sorry you have to go through this OP.

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Old 12-29-2011, 05:13 PM
 
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You make some good points, except that I don't see anything in any of OP's posts to suggest that there's an issue with her children thinking she yells too much. (I'm not saying they don't think that - just don't see anything in the posts to suggest it.)

 

And, I can't imagine how anybody, in any circumstances, could think that dropping an anonymous "we'll sic CPS on you" letter in someone's mailbox on Christmas Eve would help the mom/family in question. Can you explain why you think this might be an attempt to help, because I can't see it at all. It's a threat, pure and simple. Threats aren't attempts to help...anonymous threats are even less likely to be such an attempt.

 


Until recently I wouldn't have thought that my dd thinks I am yelling much and my posts certainly tend to reflect that, but my dd did think that and if the op thinks the step-mother is involved with the letter then she is probably getting the information about that from the kids. 

 

I don't think the timing or the tone of the letter were necessarily the best, but people pointing out how much my mother yelled to her and the effects it had on me and my brother really was helpful to her as a parent and she did use it to change.  I have also had parenting things pointed out to me that hurt to hear at first but that do help me to change how I parent and it is that that I find helpful.  Even a negative letter at a bad time can be a good thing in the long run if you can use it to make a change that helps your kids feel more comfortable.

 

I can see this letter as both a threat and a well intentioned but poorly written letter to motivate a parent to think about what they are doing and make a change quickly.  I know people who don't think very far beyond the black and white and can see them saying or writing something like this meaning only to be helpful to my child, especially when they are extremely concerned and mail the letter without waiting a few days to see if they truly want to send something with that tone. I have also known people who would go so far as to call CPS for little things or to cause trouble, but they wouldn't warn the person they are making trouble for first.  The warning is really what makes me think that somebody without much tact is trying to be helpful in a very tactless way.  Even if I am way off base though I think that there can still be positive found even in this negative situation, but I am generally an annoying optimist so that may be why.

 

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Old 12-29-2011, 05:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by EarthRootsStarSoul View Post

 

 

My younger son (4) has sensory issues and probably Asperger's, so he hates transitions and throws epic tantrums quite often.  My older son (7) gets provoked by his drama and they end up screaming at each other.  Then I have to be the referee and split them up and send them to different rooms.  It probably sounds way worse than it is.  I know exactly what is going on with both of them and work hard to be calm and strong and set a good example.  ...



People who don't interact with kids with sensory disabilities on a regular basis don't get how quickly situations can escalate, and think something much more, for lack of a better word, scary, is going on.  As a SpEd teacher, I try really hard when I see parents in public places who are clearly struggling with their kids to make sure I 1.  don't make negative assumptions,  and 2.  offer help if it is appropriate.   Sounds like you are working hard with your boys to develop skills to handle these situations- I would hope your neighbors would be understanding (but I know our own curmundgeon neighbors wouldn't...)

 

 

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Old 12-29-2011, 05:29 PM
 
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Until recently I wouldn't have thought that my dd thinks I am yelling much and my posts certainly tend to reflect that, but my dd did think that and if the op thinks the step-mother is involved with the letter then she is probably getting the information about that from the kids. 

 

Why do you say that? It's possible, but why "probably"? Maybe she just has it in for the OP. I've watched a stepmother slam a door in the birth mom's face, in the pouring rain, when she showed up to pick up her dd from a visit, for no reason other than her whacked hatred of a woman who had her husband before she did. Even if it is the stepmom, that doesn't mean the children have said something to her.

 

I don't think the timing or the tone of the letter were necessarily the best, but people pointing out how much my mother yelled to her and the effects it had on me and my brother really was helpful to her as a parent and she did use it to change.  I have also had parenting things pointed out to me that hurt to hear at first but that do help me to change how I parent and it is that that I find helpful.  Even a negative letter at a bad time can be a good thing in the long run if you can use it to make a change that helps your kids feel more comfortable.

 

That might be true. However, getting a letter of that kind wouldn't cause me to reassess anything, and I'm not sure why it would have that effect on anyone.

 

I can see this letter as both a threat and a well intentioned but poorly written letter to motivate a parent to think about what they are doing and make a change quickly. 

 

Fair enough. I can't. I see it as a threat, pure and simple. Letters like that assure me that the write is a busybody, who cares about nothing but feeding their own fat ego.

 

I know people who don't think very far beyond the black and white and can see them saying or writing something like this meaning only to be helpful to my child, especially when they are extremely concerned and mail the letter without waiting a few days to see if they truly want to send something with that tone. I have also known people who would go so far as to call CPS for little things or to cause trouble, but they wouldn't warn the person they are making trouble for first.  The warning is really what makes me think that somebody without much tact is trying to be helpful in a very tactless way.  Even if I am way off base though I think that there can still be positive found even in this negative situation, but I am generally an annoying optimist so that may be why.

 

If I were the OP, I'd find positives in the situation, but they wouldn't be the ones you're referring to. I'd be very reassured that this kind of toxic individual is the sort who has issues with my parenting. (BTDT, actually - over the woman in our complex who threatened to report me for not making my toddler wear shoes. By the time all was said and done, I was more confident in my choices in that area, and less concerned with what my neighbours think, than I'd ever been before.) I can't see any way in which this can be considered helpful. Anonymous threats are nasty and nothing else. I'm sure the busybody got to give herself (almost certainly a woman - for whatever reason, very few men seem to go in for this particular kind of bullying) a nice self-righteous pat on the back for Christmas, so someone got something out of it.

 


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Old 12-29-2011, 08:04 PM
 
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I say probably there because I don't like to make blanket statements that only have one point of view because it is close-minded, cuts off any discussion, and would be very arrogant in this case since I don't know all that is going on.  I would reassess things if sent a letter like that because I tend to try to reflect on what I am doing as a parent and it would worry me to be perceived as negative.  It could be that I reflect and find no reason to worry but I would at least reflect because my dd matters a lot to me and I don't think that all of my parenting choices are 100% wonderful at all times.  I have fallen into negative cycles that I regret in the past I don't let any parenting criticism (even the ill tempered comments flung at me while fighting) go by without reflection and action where necessary, especially since it really isn't a frequent thing for me to receive. 

 

Even if it turned out to be proven to be a malicious letter meant to only cause distress on a special day by someone I despise I would still view it as helpful because to me it would be a reminder to be mindful as a mother, something I always view as helpful because as a single mother I find it easy to get overwhelmed by dealing with the ups and downs of parenting alone.  Also, as I mentioned before I tend towards optimism so it is hard for me not to find help and positive even in the worst things I have been through.

 

I am not interested in fighting or reading repetitions of the same theme anymore because I have better things to spend my time on so I won't be engaging in any more argument.  You are free to your opinion and I am free to mine.  I am sure the OP will take the opinions that resonate with her to heart and leave the rest whatever the opinion is.

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Old 12-29-2011, 10:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by One_Girl View Post

I say probably there because I don't like to make blanket statements that only have one point of view because it is close-minded, cuts off any discussion, and would be very arrogant in this case since I don't know all that is going on.

 

Fair enough. You can assume that OP is probably yelling too much at her kids, instead. There is no way to say something is "probably" going on in this situation without making blanket statements.

 

  I would reassess things if sent a letter like that because I tend to try to reflect on what I am doing as a parent and it would worry me to be perceived as negative.  It could be that I reflect and find no reason to worry but I would at least reflect because my dd matters a lot to me and I don't think that all of my parenting choices are 100% wonderful at all times.  I have fallen into negative cycles that I regret in the past I don't let any parenting criticism (even the ill tempered comments flung at me while fighting) go by without reflection and action where necessary, especially since it really isn't a frequent thing for me to receive. 

 

Even if it turned out to be proven to be a malicious letter meant to only cause distress on a special day by someone I despise I would still view it as helpful because to me it would be a reminder to be mindful as a mother, something I always view as helpful because as a single mother I find it easy to get overwhelmed by dealing with the ups and downs of parenting alone.  Also, as I mentioned before I tend towards optimism so it is hard for me not to find help and positive even in the worst things I have been through.

 

I am not interested in fighting or reading repetitions of the same theme anymore because I have better things to spend my time on so I won't be engaging in any more argument.  You are free to your opinion and I am free to mine.  I am sure the OP will take the opinions that resonate with her to heart and leave the rest whatever the opinion is.


Fair enough. I'm not trying to argue, in any case. Nobody knows what's going on. I'm just more inclined to give the mom who gets the nasty letter on Christmas Eve the benefit of the doubt than I am to give the nasty letter writer the benefit of the doubt. You find value in anonymous accusations of bad parenting, and major, nasty threats. I don't. It's not an argument. It's simply a completely different baseline in how we assess value.

 

I have no desire to see every parent who yells disappear off the face of the earth. I'd be more than happy to see every single person who has ever sent a note like the one the OP received vanish from the face of the earth. You obviously see things differently. There's no argument - just a different baseline. I was just trying to understand how anyone could see this as anything but nasty and threatening, and where people are seeing an attempt to help. I don't see it, even a little bit.

 

Sure - OP can probably take something positive out of it, even if it's just learning not to trust neighbour who can't be trusted (if that's where it came from). One can get something positive out of almost anything.


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Old 12-30-2011, 11:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm sorry, but yelling at your kids, even (*especially*) special needs kids, is not a valid parenting choice that should be respected and supported by the community. I'm boggled by the idea that "sheesh, what a world, we can't even yell at our kids anymore" here on MDC of all places.

 

 



Wow, that is way offensive.  Where did I or anyone write anything like that??? irked.gif


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Old 12-30-2011, 11:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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That sounds like a tough letter to receive.  Once you move past the hurt this letter caused, I suggest that you try to view the letter as someone trying to help you instead of hurt you though.  Either you are perceived as yelling a lot by neighbors passing by or by children talking to their step-mom about their perspective and that is something you may want to explore more and try to problem solve. 

 

It may be a simple matter of your children interpreting your emotions incorrectly and labeling the slightest irritations as yelling also, which is something you should explore if you think the letter came from their step-mom.

 

 

 



I am entertaining the possibility that this letter is truthfully from someone who walked past my house and heard yelling.  I am more careful to keep my volume down.  Thanks.  My children are NOT the people who think I'm yelling.  I don't know where you came up with that.  They dislike their step-mom and beg me to just live at my house.  I even asked them if they think I yell too much and they said no.  I told them if they ever think I'm yelling, they can ask me to use my inside voice and they thought that was pretty funny.   


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Old 12-30-2011, 12:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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The OPer seems to feel she HAS to yell because one of her kids has special needs. But when asked if he's had an eval and is receiving services, she remained silent.

 

WHAT???  Linda, seriously.  I always enjoy reading your posts on MDC, but this is quite a low blow. 

 

I think there are a couple of things here that could cause her problems. Her child *may* show behaviors that can be misconstrued as being caused by bad parenting, either to a neighbor or a CPS worker.  (I know my spectrum kiddo has from time to time). These behaviors *could* make CPS involvement more likely.

 

I agree with this post. Part of what CPS does is look at cases where things like a child has been injured falling down stairs and figure out if there is an underlying parenting problem.

 

Living with a kid on the spectrum, I suspect that many spectrum kids do all things that *combined with something like a parent seeming out of control* could cause a CPS investigation. I would want to have my ducks in a row. I would want documentation about what professionals believe to be going on with my child and clear plan of what sort of therapies my child was getting. 

 

I would not want to answer with "I have to yell because my child has special needs, but no, I've never bothered to talk to an expert about my child."  That, to me, would seem to risk opening the door to a lot of intervention on the part of the state.

 

 

 

I've suspected DS was on the spectrum since he was 12 months old and still not pointing, among other red flags.  The pediatrician wouldn't do anything about it.  He failed the MCHAT at 18 months and we had a screening done by early intervention but they didn't see anything wrong.  He passed the MCHAT at 24 months and the pediatrician was like, "see, he's fine."  This was all going on during the tumultuous period of getting divorced and his dad was majorly flipping out and was scaring the (bleep) out of me.  He was stalking me, borrowed a gun, slandering my name all over town and it worked I lost 99% of my friends.  He falsely accused me of child abuse (he admitted that he made it all up).  Because I'm on the spectrum and he doesn't think I am capable of taking care of the kids, even though he knows perfectly well in his heart of hearts that I am great with the kids.  He just wanted to 'win'.  What else?  He tried to have our five year old circumcised behind my back just to hurt me.  I went to the police about the stalking and harassment, but they couldn't do anything, then they talked to my ex and he sweet talked them into thinking I was just a crazy-(bleep).  And they believed him, because when I went to get a copy of the police report they gave me dirty looks and the write-up was extremely slanted against me.  See my ex is a 'pillar of the community' and a 'man of God', and pretty much has this whole town eating out of his hand.  He is a psychopathic con-artist. 

 

The thing he HATES about me is that I'm on the spectrum.  He cannot stand the thought that what he hates about me is living in his son.  That is a bitter pill to swallow.  All of the threats and crazy that he put me through was to get me to shut up about autism.  He already accused me of Muncheusen by proxy (or however you spell it).  I can do nothing.  My hands are tied to get help for my son until someone else is strong enough to see it.  The pediatrician will have to see it.  A teacher will have to suggest an evaluation.  He is having behavior problems at 4K like wandering off, not following the group, not listening, not remembering daily responsibilities, but his teacher is falling short of actually suggesting an evaluation or mentioning the autism spectrum.  I already know that if I do ANYTHING, I will be accused of doctor-shopping or diagnosis-shopping.  So there. 
 

 


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Old 12-30-2011, 12:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This wasn't "negative, yucky criticism". This was a direct threat. Maybe OP does yell too much. None of us know that. I just haven't seen anything in this thread to suggest that she does. A nasty letter from an anonymous source wouldn't even make me think twice about my parenting (and I second-guess myself constantly). I always consider the source, and when the source is a gutless, anonymous maker of threats, what they have to say doesn't mean much.

 

People like the one(s) who left the OP that note are the source of a lot of problems, for a lot of people. The only possible result of a note like that is to add more stress to someone's life, and if the busybody thinks she yells at her children too much, adding more stress isn't going to be helpful.

 

I'm actually feeling really discouraged by the fact that a significant number of people on this thread seem to be assuming that OP does yell at her kids all the time, just because she received a nasty note to that effect. That old saying about "where there's smoke, there's fire" is wildly inaccurate, and an anonymous accusation is hardly proof of guilt. Frankly, the phrasing of that note comes across to me as an all out attempt to make OP feel like crap, and I see no evidence of real concern anywhere in it.


Thank you!  All of my closest IRL friends immediately assumed the letter was from the step-mom because they know she has been harassing me lately. 

 


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Old 12-30-2011, 01:00 PM
 
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Thank you!  All of my closest IRL friends immediately assumed the letter was from the step-mom because they know she has been harassing me lately. 

 


 

Dude you've been through enough, let some of the comments on this thread just slide right off of you. I think it's hard for people to really "get" your exact situation without being there and I think everyone seriously means well.

 

Like I said, if somebody was walking by my house on any day of the week, they might think there was *actual* murder happening inside...what with the ear shattering screaming, the dogs going nuts and the loud world music we play and me, shouting over it to some kid who is about to use a guitar as a hammer or something crazy like that. But if the nosy neighbor looked in the window, they would see an insane pack of dogs running wild and happy kids jumping, playing and causing chaos - while a stressed out mama with knots ("pretty braids") in her hair, three day old PJs on, bread crumbs on her chin and empty, crazy eyes quickly obeyed the shouts of "MORE FOOD, MORE FOOD HAHAHAHAH!" - I'm telling you, my house can be so chaotic....but every creature here is very well loved and knows it.

I bet you it was the step mom, but please do be careful...it could have been some busy-body. butthead of a neighbor and I would hate for them to make good on their threat, given what you've said about your Ex...please, dear dear woman, do NOT give this man the hand-wrapped, shiny bow topped gift of a CPS investigation into your parenting. OH MY GOSH!! UGH!

 

Good luck. I'm so sorry for everything this dude has put you through and for the failure of the officials and teachers in your life to do their jobs properly.


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Old 12-30-2011, 05:33 PM
 
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Wow!  That is scary!  I would definitely make sure to not yell at all so as not to fuel the fire at all.  I would maybe even call some services (not CPS) to show that I am seeking help in case it does get to CPS level.  2 of my 3 kids are special needs.  My oldest has bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder, ADHD, and multiple learning disabilities and my youngest will be assessed as soon as we can get in for similar issues.  On any given day I'm sure someone could think a CAS call was in order if they heard the stuff she comes out with.  Today we were at the mall (me and the 3 kids) and she was being ornery and misbehaving and just kept acting worse and worse. I just needed to grab some dish detergent so we headed to that section and she starts screaming and throwing a fit.  No one else was in the aisle with us.  All of a sudden she slaps herself in the face and starts screaming that I slapped her!!  She kept screaming that all the way to the check out - that I slapped her in the face and that the police were going to take me away and that everybody hates her and so on and on. My 9 year old was freaking out trying to get her to stop screaming and when she saw some woman staring at us (Ellie had a mark on her face from slapping herself!) she turned to the woman and said, "My mother did not hit my sister, she did it herself because she has special needs and doesn't understand."  Thankfully no one got the police involved!  People just don't understand how hard it is with special needs kids and it can sound a LOT worse than it actually is!


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Old 12-30-2011, 06:29 PM
 
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You don't need any pediatrician's or teacher's permission to get an eval. 4 years old is an important time for kids with asds to be getting services, because socially things will keep getting trickier and trickier and they fall further behind. OT sounds like it could be incredibly helpful in terms of tantruming and feeling overwhelmed.
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Old 12-30-2011, 10:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by EarthRootsStarSoul View Post

WHAT???  Linda, seriously.  I always enjoy reading your posts on MDC, but this is quite a low blow.

 

.....This was all going on during the tumultuous period of getting divorced and his dad was majorly flipping out and was scaring the (bleep) out of me.  He was stalking me, borrowed a gun, slandering my name all over town and it worked I lost 99% of my friends.  He falsely accused me of child abuse (he admitted that he made it all up).  Because I'm on the spectrum and he doesn't think I am capable of taking care of the kids, even though he knows perfectly well in his heart of hearts that I am great with the kids.
 

 


I'm sorry that my post came across the way it did. I didn't mean to insult your parenting (which I really don't know anything about) but rather to point out how things could come across to a CPS investigator. A lot of what they do is make suggestions about what families need to do to keep their kids, and then follow up to make sure that the families are doing them (at least here). Reading this thread, I can easily see how they could feel that you needed a parental "to do" list with legal follow up.

 

Your response actually raises more flags -- even the fact that a woman has been in an abusive/controlling relationship raises flags with some CPS investigators, and all the issues with your ex could seriously blow up in your face. This is really a lot more than "neighbor wrote nasty letter about me yelling."  I seriously doubt that CPS would bother to investigate a report of a parent yelling, but you have a lot more stuff going on, including previous allegations of abuse. 

 

What I was trying to say is that I think it would be a good idea to start covering your a$$. May be start a thread in special needs about how to do that, or in the blended family forum. Your situation is complex. I didn't mean to sound like I was blaming you for the situation, just that I think that staying stuck at venting is most likely not the best option. I honestly think taking action could be helpful to you and your kids in the long run.

 

Because "I really feel my son needs an eval but his father won't let me get him an eval" sounds like an invitation for the courts to take over the situation, and I doubt that is what you want.

 

(I would start with a meeting with his teacher and talk honestly about your concerns and ask for her help, and I would also check into parenting classes through a children's hospital or other organization, mostly because I think that would look good to an outsider)

 

But none of this is about how you are actually parenting right now, rather, it's about how it *looks* to others, esp. CPS.

 

I'm very sorry that you are going through this, and I'm sorry that my post came across as a blow.


but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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Old 01-01-2012, 12:00 PM
 
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I think threatening to call someone over yelling is almost never appropriate.  It is not CPS worthy, and as such is a hollow threat. 

 

To those who were hurt by their parents yelling, I hear you.  

 

I do not think all yelling is the same, however.

 

Me raising my voice ( and saying :  put the milk away - it will go bad if you do not!) because I have told my perfectly capable teens to cleanup their "snack" 3 times nicely, is very different than screaming obscenities at someone, or using your size and voice to intimidate a small child, yk?

 

I got the impression from the OP that she was yelling out of chaos and frustration (get down from the chandelier!) not name-calling or causing her kids to cower in the corner.

 

Hugs on everything else - it seems so complicated!  If what you want (say an evaluation) is what CPS or the courts would want - do it.  At the end of the day - do what is best for your kids despite the ex and his drama - you are their mom and it is your job.  I am not saying you are not doing this, just putting it out there in case fear is making you parent out of fear.  

 

 

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Old 01-03-2012, 07:02 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post

 


The OPer seems to feel she HAS to yell because one of her kids has special needs. But when asked if he's had an eval and is receiving services, she remained silent.

 

I think there are a couple of things here that could cause her problems. Her child *may* show behaviors that can be misconstrued as being caused by bad parenting, either to a neighbor or a CPS worker.  (I know my spectrum kiddo has from time to time). These behaviors *could* make CPS involvement more likely.

 


I read it differently, as her child has sensory problems and possibly aspergers and the kids scream at each other when they fight, not her screaming at the kid b/c he has special needs. If that is the case, I can totally relate with a 6 year old who is spirited and short-tempered and.... who knows.... maybe is somewhere on the spectrum or has sensory problems...and boy is she a screamer. Up until last year we lived in a neighborhood where the houses are really close together and they could ALWAYS hear her screaming when something would upset her or wouldn't go her way (literally a drop of a hat). Luckily for me, my neighbors and I were very close (they were like family to me) and they knew my dd and how she is so it was more of a running joke. (FWIW she's been like this since the day she was born... she came out irritable and the nurses claimed it was the pain medicine I had during labor.... she also pitched an instant fit when she couldn't coordinate her suck at just minutes old). Anyhoo the problem now is we live in a new neighborhood and I cringe when she screams wondering what our neighbors (who I really don't know well at all yet) must think.

 

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Old 01-03-2012, 07:06 PM
 
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I will never forget my dd being about 2 when she got mad cause I would not let her eat soup cold.... out of a can. I insisted on warming it up. She screamed and screamed and a neighbor came over and wanted to see her to make sure she was ok. Oh the joys of being a single mom.


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Old 01-06-2012, 02:36 PM
 
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I just came across this post and don't really have anything further to add except hug2.gif to the OP. It seems like you XH is more interested in getting revenge than raising his children in a happy, healthy way. I wish you the best of luck!


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