This is like my very own personal therapy session! I love it!
I would be remiss to not mention that when my dh bought me my first issue of Mothering Magazine over 2 years ago (he is quite a guy, that husband of mine), I felt like it was a huge homecoming. I had found my tribe! (It is sort of how I felt when I "discovered" the Grateful Dead back in college!
). I am SO grateful for this extended support network. Without it, I have no doubt that I would be quite stressed trying to defend my beliefs against those of our mainstream culture. I have struggled with that in other avenues of my life, as I am sure we all have. Meanwhile, I no longer feel a need to defend my choices out loud. Well, except to my mother...
But seriously, it makes such a difference knowing that there are other folks out there who approach childbirth and parenting from a "natural" perspective. When others doubt my ways, I can just shrug it off. It is also great to see that many AP ways are becoming more mainstream.
On a related topic... my mother has subtly (ha!) asked about the credentials of my OB/GYN. Of course, I don't have one, but there is one affiliated with my midwife group practice -- so I have taken the liberty of saying that she is my doctor. I realized where the conversation was going, and quickly thwarted my plans to tell mom about the freestanding birthing center where we are planning to have the baby. I have pretty much been telling white lies ever since about where we are giving birth. It's not that much of a lie, in that having our birth in the hospital is
an option. The other day she expressed how glad she was at our choices, because she had been concerned that I was going to try something "alternative."
So, two nights ago I had a terrible dream that I was at the birthing center in labor, and my mom was frantically calling the hospital to see what room I was in and to check on my progress. Of course, I wasn't there, so she went into a panic. I hate lying to my mother, but I must admit, it is the smartest thing I've done in years! The alternative would be much worse!!! I know several of you will say I should tell her the truth, but you don't know my mother! I will hear about this terrible decision every day for the next five months. My brother has been telling her white lies for years, and has always chastised me for being so honest - and stupid! My interest in "changing her" has caused me more grief than good over the years.
The only way I can keep this up is because she said that she doesn't want to fly in for the birth, but immediately after. Of course, she also thinks I will have a two day hospital stay and then hire a baby nurse for two weeks (ha!). She is really into this baby nurse thing! Oy. I am trying to find a post partum doula, which works for me, but my mom doesn't think its enough.
So now I am hoping that I can "train" her to call my dh on his cell phone when the big day comes, rather than try to call the hospital. Or, we could just not tell her when we go into labor... but unless I am early, that will be hard. I am sure she will be calling all the time. This whole lying thing is causing me some stress, hence the dreams.
Thanks everyone for such an interesting dialogue. I am really enjoying this too, and am getting a lot out of it.