We have a signed will granting custody of DS to a relative if DH & I both die (plus two alternates). So I'm not worried about that.
What I can't figure out is what happens in between? Between the time DH & I die and the relative flies in from across the country and all that? Or if there were some other emergency, like we were both hospitalized & unconscious??
We have local relatives that we do NOT want to take DS, even in an emergency. We'd want a close family friend to take him instead. But how do I make this known?? I was thinking of putting a little card in my wallet, but would anyone look through my (admittedly sometimes cluttered!) wallet? And what if I didn't have my wallet for some reason??? And what if the local relatives tried to take him???
FYI, children are not "real property," so your guardianship statements in your will are statements of desire but are not legally binding the way that you can give people property or money in your will.
Most judges will abide by what you say in your will -- but they don't have to, so if there is a reason that you don't want your local relatives to take DS, you might want to put that in writing somewhere, possibly give it to the desired guardians.
If the local relatives tried to take him and for some reason the judge liked them better (They were more Christian, less gay, etc), they *could* get either temporary or permanent custody.
However, if you'er clear with everyone, that's unlikely.
I would have "in case of emergency" notes in my phone, on file with caregivers, etc. If your child attends school or daycare, they want to know who those people are, for instance, and you could have it on file there.
savithny, 42 year old moderate mom to DS Primo (age 12) and DD Secunda (age 9).