Ten year old in our bed - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 6 Old 02-09-2012, 06:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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In the middle of the night, our ten year old crawls into our bed and ruins our sleep.   If she's in the middle, she kicks off the covers.  If I'm in the middle, I'm miserable.  We just don't want her in our bed, honestly.  But, she just keeps doing it.  Lots of  nights she doesn't, but then there will be 3-5 nights in a row when she does. 

 

This morning, two hours before we should be getting up, my husband said we've just got to tell her she can't get in our bed and stick to it.  Mostly, I don't notice she's there right away.  I KNOW if I send her back to her bed, I know what will happen.  She'll cry and not fall asleep and she'll be miserable.  She's not a baby anymore, but I'm not for CIO for anyone, really.  I just, yeah, I'm ready for her to stay in her own bed all night every night.

 

Anyone been through this?

 

 

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#2 of 6 Old 02-09-2012, 07:52 AM
 
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My daughter went through so many of these moments- until she was about 12 in fact.  We resorted to a snuggly bed on the floor with a few sleeping bags and pillows- she would hop in and I would snuggle her then scooch her down on the floor so we could sleep better.  Sometimes she would climb back up but not usually.  Good luck!

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#3 of 6 Old 02-09-2012, 09:52 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamahart View Post

My daughter went through so many of these moments- until she was about 12 in fact.  We resorted to a snuggly bed on the floor with a few sleeping bags and pillows- she would hop in and I would snuggle her then scooch her down on the floor so we could sleep better.  Sometimes she would climb back up but not usually.  Good luck!

 

This was also going to be my suggestion.  My 10 year old is also in our bed most mornings, but (especially during the winter, lol) I don't mind.  My B& SIL just had a sleeping bag set up on their floor.  Do you have room in your room for an extra little bed/cot/sleeping bag/mattress?

 

My 13 year old was also like that, btw, and now *never* is in our bed in the morning (and hasn't been for quite some time).  I'm sorry it is disturbing you so much.  Would your DD be open to a reward system where she gets points (towards some type of prize) for staying in her bed?  If this is a new thing, have you talked about what is going on?


 

 

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#4 of 6 Old 02-09-2012, 04:20 PM
 
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Our 7 year old comes in every night and sleeps in the little nest by the side of the bed. We have a queen sized bed, dh and I are not petite, and dd kicks off the covers. She can't be in our bed. The nest on the floor  meets her need to be close to us. She gets into bed with me as soon as dh gets up (she sleeps right next to him and there's not much room, so she wakes when he gets out of bed)). The nest on the floor meets our need not to have her in our bed.

 

At 10, I think your dd is old enough to handle the information that she is simply too big for it to be comfortable and that her coming in means that you and your dh aren't getting the kind of sleep you need. You can ask her whether she'd like to try to stay in her bed or sleep next to yours when she wakes in the night.


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#5 of 6 Old 02-09-2012, 08:32 PM
 
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oh i so remember doing that as a child. and yeah my parents also made a nest for us. really it was my father who protested. my mom loved having us in bed. my favourite memory even to this day is us snuggling with mom and burying our face in her tummy. big tummy - due to fibroids.

 

i recall there were two things happening to me. fear of ghosts and the unknown. AND lot of emotional stuff - different from teenage stuff. it was very comforting to be near my parents in the same room.

 

its just dd and me these days. she sleeps well and we love cosleeping even at 9. dd is NOT ready to part. its still too scary to even sleep separately in two bunk beds, let alone different rooms. 


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#6 of 6 Old 02-10-2012, 07:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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We have had many conversations and brainstorming sessions over this one.  I love snuggling with my daughter, but three in the bed is just not working in terms of actually getting good rest (for anyone but her). 

 

We have talked about this issue. She says she wakes up and can't get back to sleep and needs her Mama.  She says that she tries to stay in her room when she wakes, but she just can't sleep.  About 4 a.m. this morning she came to my side of the bed and said, "Mama, can I please get into your bed."  She doesn't usually ask, but of course I couldn't refuse my sweet little girl who would otherwise go cry in her room. 

 

There's no room on our floor.  Actually, if our doors are open, her room is close enough that it's almost like being in the same room.  Oh, well.  Snuggly little girl in the bed isn't much of a problem to have, I suppose.

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