April 2012 Rockstar Mamas and Their Babies (better late than never) - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-06-2012, 08:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Member List:

lyeterae ~ Baby boy born February 2011
annie ~ Baby girl born April 7, 2011
Barefootscientist ~ Baby boy born May 30, 2011
AnnieA (due 7/18) ~ Baby girl born July 17, 2011
MarineWife (due 7/30) ~ Baby boy born July 25, 2011
Baby_Cakes (due 8/16) ~ Baby boy born August 16, 2011
MovingMomma (due 8/9) ~ Baby girl born August 18, 2011
akind1 (due 9/28) ~ Baby girl born October 11, 2011
mom2one (due 10/23) ~ Baby boy born October 21, 2011
jeninejessica (due 12/10) ~ Baby girl born November 29, 2011
Kindermama (due 1/6) ~ Baby boy born January 1, 2012


Last month's thread: http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1346684/march-2012-rockstar-mamas-and-their-babies

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Old 04-06-2012, 08:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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What do you guys stuff in your pockets for night? I usually stuff a premium PF with a hemp soaker/insert in the middle and they have never leaked. It's rather bulky in front with the OS dipes snapped down once because I have to fold the front of the PF over so I wanted to try something else. Last night I tried a microfiber insert and the hemp insert but it leaked.

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Old 04-06-2012, 12:33 PM
 
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What do you guys stuff in your pockets for night? 


LOLOL - being a pathetic sposie user, this first sentence totally made no sense to me for a second lol.gif Just thought I would share that! 

 

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Old 04-06-2012, 01:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

What do you guys stuff in your pockets for night? 


LOLOL - being a pathetic sposie user, this first sentence totally made no sense to me for a second lol.gif Just thought I would share that! 

 

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Oh, ROTFLMAO.gif

Really heavy rocks to keep the kids in bed! winky.gif

Chocolates so I can easily snack if I wake up hungry in the middle of the night. lol.gif

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Old 04-06-2012, 01:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We had a much better night of sleep last night. I wish I knew why so I could replicate it. I dressed him in long pants and a long-sleeved shirt instead of a onesie because it's cold at night and he always kicks the covers off. I gave him some teething tablets before bed and again in the middle of the night when he woke. I got his new unpolished amber necklace yesterday and put it on him right away. Plus, I think Mercury is now fully out of retrograde so maybe things are settling down. He actually fell asleep in my arms rather than me having to lay down and nurse him to sleep while he kicked the crap out of me. Oh, and I found some Kali/Phos homeopathic tablets I had for leg cramps that are also good for sleeplessness so I took some before bed and my mind didn't keep me up racing like usual.

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Old 04-06-2012, 01:48 PM
 
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I just do a microfiber insert. My Flips don't leak but my BG 4.0s do sometimes. I think because the lining extends past the seams. DD is sleeping better too but I thought it was because she's just so utterly exhausted after all our comings and goings this week with the big kids.

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Old 04-06-2012, 02:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just do a microfiber insert. My Flips don't leak but my BG 4.0s do sometimes. I think because the lining extends past the seams.

Hm...I don't think it's the diaper since they've never leaked with the PF and hemp insert. Maybe it's because the microfiber insert doesn't fit properly? Too narrow or something. shrug.gif

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Old 04-06-2012, 04:28 PM
 
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subbing!!

 

1ht...

I use sposies at night.  But i do put earplugs in my pocket so i can use them if i need them!!  lol.gif

 

I'm exhausted.  I jinxed it when i posted about the 9-4 sleeping.  He's waking a ton now!  Teething i'm sure and trying to crawl at times during the day.

 

I went out today and finished easter basket shopping.  I hadnt looked in the baby food aisle  before b/c it always creeps me out... but there are so many snacky baby food items!  I got finn rice milk based drops, some bars, some puffs.  They didn't have this stuff even 3 years ago.  I also got him another sippy cup with a straw.


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Old 04-06-2012, 08:15 PM
 
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Omg. Guys, I weighed Finn on my scale and he's 24.6 lbs!? Wtf!!? He's not even 8 mo yet!! No wonder my arms can't hold him for more than a few min.

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Old 04-06-2012, 09:14 PM
 
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Baby_Cakes, OMG!!! DD was 14 lbs 9 oz at her dr appt on Monday. I don't know how you carry him at all!!! Yes there are lots of snacky things for babies. DD is getting purplr puffs and some kind of apple-carrot sticks in her basket. Bibs and these little plastic shot glasses that are the perfect size for her to drink out of. Hahaha! Plus a new Eric Carle board book. The big kids are each getting a book, card/dice game and candy. We don't do big baskets here.

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Old 04-06-2012, 09:16 PM
 
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MW, maybe that's the problem. Or the insert isn't enough for overnight for her. Maybe I need to add the newborn insert too?

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Old 04-07-2012, 07:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Carrie ~ That is one huge baby! lol.gif I can't imagine holding him. I can't hold Dylan for long and he's maybe just 20 lbs.
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MW, maybe that's the problem. Or the insert isn't enough for overnight for her. Maybe I need to add the newborn insert too?

But I had two inserts in there like I usually do. I usually use a PF and a hemp insert and have never had a problem. It's something with the microfiber. Either it doesn't fit properly or it's not as absorbant as a PF (but I thought they were supposed to be really absorbant). I wanted to start using the microfiber inserts in the pockets since I have so many and use my PF as just diapers.


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Old 04-07-2012, 08:38 AM
 
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Baby_Cakes, OMG!!! DD was 14 lbs 9 oz at her dr appt on Monday. I don't know how you carry him at all!!! Yes there are lots of snacky things for babies. DD is getting purplr puffs and some kind of apple-carrot sticks in her basket. Bibs and these little plastic shot glasses that are the perfect size for her to drink out of. Hahaha! Plus a new Eric Carle board book. The big kids are each getting a book, card/dice game and candy. We don't do big baskets here.


He's HUGE, right?!?  My goodness gracious!  I really cannot hold him for long, but I do carry him around on my hip a lot.  I probably would get more done if I'd just use my damn ring sling.  I use the Boba exclusively when we are out, no other carriers.  

 

I think I may have bought a lot of stuff for both of them since I just pick it up when I see it.  I got some plastic eggs to hide and candy to fill them.  I got N the easter mr potato head, a new Look and Find book, some toys, candy.  Target had a 16" 2 wheeler bike with training wheels on it on sale this week for $59, so we decided to get it for her.  I think DH wants to give it to her for Easter, but i'm not sure about that association.  Why would the easter bunny bring her a bike?  I just want to surprise her with it.  I'll see if I can talk him into waiting or telling her it's from us.

 

Nora's allergies are horrible.  She was up for an hour and a half, from about 1230 to 2,  in the middle of the night coughing and her nose was running.  She came into my bed, but woke Finn up with her coughing and I was an exhausted mess.  I told her she had to go back in her room b/c of the coughing.  She wasn't happy about that.  I got Finn back asleep, and then lay with her in her bed while she coughed and coughed until the triaminic kicked in and she finally slept.  I went back to sleep with Finn, who THANK GAWD only woke up again around 330 and then again at 630, and then Nora came bouncing it at 8 am ready to go for the day.  Coffee is my bff today, I swear!


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Old 04-07-2012, 08:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Carrie ~ i've been meaning to tell you that hyland's does make kids allergy remedy in liquid and dissolving tablets. I got some tablets for Ethan but we haven't used them yet. The tablets might not be an option for you since they are lactose. Not sure where the lactose comes from.

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Old 04-07-2012, 10:05 AM
 
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Carrie ~ i've been meaning to tell you that hyland's does make kids allergy remedy in liquid and dissolving tablets. I got some tablets for Ethan but we haven't used them yet. The tablets might not be an option for you since they are lactose. Not sure where the lactose comes from.


You know, I was using the colic tablets and the pulsatilla and didn't realize they both had lactose.   Good thing my kids aren't actually galactosemic.  duh.gif  

 

I can't stop eating today.  Yesterday was the same!  I'm still overproducing milk like crazy and my appetite is just insane.  Oh well, I guess.  Anyone else go thru something like this?


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Old 04-07-2012, 06:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have days when I can't seem to stop eating. I think I might finally have gotten to the point where I'm not leaking anymore. I went all day yesterday without a bra and my shirt didn't get wet. I'll have to do that a few more days before I'm convinced enough to go out in public without pads, but that will be so nice!

Sean is driving me crazy! I swear, he is so stupid. I can't explain it but he says the dumbest things and he can't seem to think any further than the obvious or solve any problems. If things don't go exactly how he plans or wants, he gives up. It's really hard for me to respect or like him when he acts like that. hammer.gif

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Old 04-07-2012, 06:55 PM
 
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I leak all the time. All the time!! I leak thru the damn pads on the other side when he's nursing. My boobs get so hard and lumpy be feedings. This just didn't happen with nora. maybe be cause I pumped more of the time when she was an infant? Maybe he is more hungry because he is bigger? It's painful, messy...but I am grateful for my supply. I can't complain too much bc I am feeding this huge baby.

I hear you on the annoying dh front. I won't go into detail but we had a huge blow up fight yesterday. Huge. I almost took the kids and left...not intending forever but just for space. I was so angry I didn't want him near them.

I didn't leave tho. We argued, yelled,cried, swore at each other. Got it all out. It was so therapeutic!! Maybe you and Sean need a no holds barred argument to air out all the feelings and hostility, too.

Im so tired. More then i've ever been. And we still need to do the baskets and hide the plastic eggs!! Nora is really fighting sleep and coughing. Please let this night be decent!!



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Old 04-07-2012, 08:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I had the same problem with oversupply with Ethan. I made a huge amount of milk and leaked for at least a year, maybe more. With Kellen things weren't as bad. Maybe there's something about the 2nd child that makes you make way more milk than needed. shrug.gif

I don't know if an airing out would work. I'm not angry at Sean. I just think he's stupid. If I told him what I really think of him, everything might just fall apart. I need to really work on accepting him for who he is. I don't know how to say this without sounding conceited (which I really am not). I've always know he wasn't as smart as me. I thought it wouldn't matter because he had so many other good qualities. I think it's pretty normal for one person in a relationship to be smarter than the other. I don't think it's very likely for any two people to have completely equal intelligence or share any other trait equally. KWIM? Over the years, though, it has started to annoy me more and more.

Here's a petty example. We were ordering something from Amazon. Ethan asked if he should click the free two day shipping deal. I said not to because you have to sign up for an introductory free prime account that automatically starts billing you if you don't remember to cancel it (and I'm notorious for not canceling those things in time). However, there was very clearly a notice across the top of the screen that said "free super saver shipping" for purchases over $25. When Sean went to check out, he almost picked the 2-5 day fee shipping. I caught him and asked why he didn't pick the free 3-8 day shipping or whatever it was. He said because I had said not to. He didn't even read the option, look at them, figure out which was best. He was just automatically going to pay for something that could be free. Stupid, especially after he was having a coniption about spending money on toy muskets that boys wanted after we visited Fort Macon today!

I'm sure that sounds very petty to you all, and I know that it is to a certain extent. But we have to deal with his stinginess when we want something but then he goes and wastes money just like that? WTH?

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Old 04-08-2012, 02:29 PM
 
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I think I need to go off of caffeine. Is that totally insane to consider? Of course, I'm so tired all the time that I don't think it's helping anyway. I just noticed that I've been sore and achy more often than not the past couple of months and I've been drinking a lot more caffeine. Or maybe I just need to stop drinking diet coke. I know it's not good for me. I drink it at work at night because I don't like the coffee here. Maybe I should start buying sparkling water again and drink that instead.

 

DD's sleep has been horrible the past couple of nights but I know it's because she's been so busy and engaged with the big kids home that she doesn't have time to focus on eating. So she eats all night. Last night, I got to bed around 11:30 PM. I was up at 1:30 AM and she had eaten a couple of times between that. I was up again at 2:30 AM because she ran out of the milk I brought back in the room at 1:30 AM and then she was up at 5:45 AM. During those last few hours, she was eating probably every 30 mins. Oh and when I woke up at 2:30 AM, I had to put the easter baskets together. I feel like I haven't slept at all. I'm shoving candy in my face trying to stay awake at work.

 

I wonder if the caffeine in my breastmilk makes DD a light sleeper? Is that possible?


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Old 04-08-2012, 03:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I wonder if the caffeine in my breastmilk makes DD a light sleeper? Is that possible?

I think it's possible. The first thing my mom suggested when I mentioned Dylan not sleeping well was for me to lower my caffeine intake. I don't drink a lot, though, and I don't drink any after 5 pm. You can always try cutting it out and see what happens. It certainly can't hurt anything (unless you struggle to stay awake and get very irritable like I do).

Ryan filled Easter baskets for me and Sean. love.gif

To continue my dh complaint, we can't even have a normal conversation. We were talking about moving and how we would handle things with trying to show the house and what-not. I told Sean that me and the boys could go stay with my mom about 6 months before Sean has to move. That way he could get the house cleaned up and keep it clean to show. Of course, that sort of defeats the purpose of the move if it's so that Sean gets an assignment that keeps him home and with us. Anyway, Ethan decided we all should just live with my mom so he could have the dog. Sean started going into this long list of can'ts and won'ts and why that wasn't a good idea, always negative. One thing was the cost of gas in the Jeep because it would be at least a 40 minute drive one way to and from work for him. Ethan told Sean he could get another car. It's time, anyway, he said, because the Jeep is old and going to break down soon. Sean says, "I don't know if we can afford another car payment now." I couldn't help looking at him like he was the dumbest guy on the planet.

Now, let me tell you why I thought that. We had just had a talked a few days prior about replacing the Jeep. It's not a family-friendly car. There's not room for 3 car/booster seats (although, I guess Ethan could sit in the front since there's no airbag). We can't trade cars because it's a jalopy and I'm scared to drive it. I told Sean that if everything goes well, we can pay off the credit card and then start sending extra money for the Harley payment. Once that's paid off we can replace the Jeep with something safer. I don't even care if it's another Jeep as long as it's not half rusted and falling apart. So, yeah, we had just talked about plans for replacing the Jeep.

In addition to that, the conversation with Ethan was about what to do when we have to move a year or so from now. We weren't in any way talking about what to do now or next week or even next month. So, a statement about how we can't afford another car payment right now is totally irrelevant. To me, it's either Sean being negative and just not really thinking about or considering anyone else's ideas or being stupid and not being able to follow a normal conversation or remember what was discussed just a few days prior.

Some other stupid, silly things that tell me he's not thinking. The cat was making all kinds of noise swinging the cat door toward him instead of just pushing through it. I asked if someone had locked it. Sean glanced at it but didn't really look and said no. I looked right at it and said, "Um, yeah, it's locked on this side." Wouldn't common sense tell you that it's most likely locked if the cat is doing that? Why else would the cat be swinging it toward himself?

We had recently watched Captain America. I wondered aloud if they somehow digitally changed the body of the actor who played Captain America and asked Sean if he knew. Sean said it was a different actor. I asked him if he knew that or if he was just assuming. He said, "Yeah, I'm pretty sure." So, he didn't actually know like I had asked. He was assuming. eyesroll.gif I looked it up and, sure enough, his body was digitally changed to be the skinny guy.

I'm sure all of that seems really nitpicky but it's so typical of Sean. He doesn't know anything. He assumes a lot. He's almost always wrong. You'd think after a while he'd learn not to assume and instead ask questions or investigate, but no. He'd rather stick his head in the sand and be like all the other sheeple. Ugh!

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Old 04-08-2012, 04:25 PM
 
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Yeah I think I need to start by cutting out the diet coke. In the mornings, I only usually get about 1 cup of coffee in me, sometimes not even that. I think it's the diet coke that's making me feel so bad. I really want to do a juice/raw food cleanse but I don't think that's a good idea to do when I'm still pumping. I'm always struggling to stay awake so that won't be anything new!

 

I'm having issues w/my DH right now too. I just don't understand why simple directions are apparently so freaking hard to follow. We got in to a small argument Friday night. I went out to finish easter basket shopping and asked DH to get the middle three kids in bed early because we had a big day planned on Saturday. When I got home at 10 PM, they were all in the living room (including DH) watching Enchanted. WTH?!? I was just beyond tired and frustrated at that point. Ugh. DHs sometimes...splat.gif

 

 


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Old 04-08-2012, 04:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I really want to do a juice/raw food cleanse but I don't think that's a good idea to do when I'm still pumping.

I've been wanting to do a cleanse for years but I've always either been TTC or nursing. It's definitely not a good idea to do while nursing or pumping because it releases the toxins into your bloodstream to, hopefully, be flushed out. All that stuff would definitely get into your breastmilk.

Following directions and taking care of the kids...ugh! Sean is supposed to take the boys upstairs around 9 pm to get them ready for bed. He's then supposed to get them settled and into bed before I go up with Dylan so I don't have to fight with Dylan to sleep while they are still up and making noise. He hasn't done it since we've been back from NH. I have to remind every night what time it is. I give him an hour before going up and the TV is on and the boys are bouncing off the walls upstairs. Then I have to be the bad guy and turn off the TV and tell everyone to go to bed. eyesroll.gif

It's like Sean has no backbone. He stands in the middle of the room and tells the boys the same thing over and over while they completely ignore him and then he just walks away. Later, he'll wonder why they never do what he asks. I think he expects me to tell the boys to listen to their father. Not going to happen. If he can't do it, too freakin' bad. Most of the time I don't agree with whatever orders he's giving, anyway.

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Old 04-09-2012, 05:26 AM
 
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ugh, before I type a long post, I will do a test. our browsers are being stupid lately and not letting me submit content.


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Old 04-09-2012, 05:41 AM
 
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hooray! it worked!

 

ok: MW: It's very hard to have a good marriage without respect - I think that is a HUGE issue with my MIL and FIL and why they will never really be together (they currently share a home, but that really is as far as it goes - it's been that way for years) - she doesn't respect him, thinks he's stupid, etc. And he's not. He doesn't think, he's not a planner, and has a super short attention span. He also doesn't have a good bullsh*t detector (always forwarding crap on the internet that is of dubious truth - I beleive some of the conspiracy theory stuff has some truth to it, but not all of it, as an example). I think it would really help to focus on the good things - I mean, you can't change the man, after all,  and I think it will help the things that aren't so great either seem like funny quirks, or something else that is no big deal.

 

I agree about alot of things in marriage not being equal. I think I'm smarter (book wise) than my DH, and I think he'd agree.  But he's way more tech savvy than I am, or care to learn to be. (I say that because I am sure I could learn and be that way, I just don't want to LOL) - but learning to accept each other is a HUGE deal.

 

LOL about the cat!

 

Carrie: hope something can help Nora, how miserable! and when is Chris home again? all this travel sucks.  Nora looked like she loved her bike!

 

Annie: could you use some extra b12? that might help your energy more, and with less effect on Ava. I NEED my caffeine.

 

Haven't heard from JJ in a while, hope she's ok

 

AFU: Being without Gabe was sooo hard. I missed him, and didn't realize how much until we got him back Sunday. Funny thing, this first time away made DH realize that it wasn't so bad, and we could maybe do things like that more often. I feel like I don't ever want him to go away again! at least no time soon. He had fun though, and we survived. If I hadn't had Norah, there is no way I could have managed.

 

so, Saturday we went to this Eco-baby basics event at a locally owned shop that has organic clothes, CD, etc (I already do and know about all the stuff talked about, but went to support friends who were speaking, and to be a BW'ing model) and I won a Phil and Teds Expolorer stroller. thing retails for $500. woot! I think I am going to clean up and sell our double sit and stand, we really never use it, and I can get a doubles kit for this thing, or the scooter to attach with it, for around $100. (Retail, we will see if I can find a deal) I also had a hormone migraine and puked twice. Thank God mom keeps phenergan in the house.

 

 


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Old 04-09-2012, 05:49 AM
 
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I'm always telling DH to stand up for himself, and not be a pushover if I'm being a nag or being too bossy.  He doesn't think for himself.  I feel a lot of similar frustration that you do.  But I'm constantly telling DH he needs to have an opinion and not give in to me all the time.

If I have an idea and he disagrees with it, he won't voice that concern, he'll silently go along with it and then angry later that I didn't "ask him what he wanted to do".  Burns me up!!  If you think i'm wrong, say so!  

It also bothers me that we have been together for 12+ years and he still doesn't know/care what bothers me or how to comfort me.  I always end up comforting him when we argue.  I could be crying or mad or angry or whatever, and he still acts like an uncomfortable teenager, unsure of himself.  I have told him all this.  I don't feel like it ever gets thru.

Sigh.

Relationships are hard.

 

We just got P90X and DH seems like he's really excited about it.  I want to do it too, but I have no idea when I'll find the time.  He's gone 2 days out of this week, and next week he's gone Sun- Fri again.  With sleep being as poor as it is lately, I doubt I'll want to work out while Finn naps, I'll prob nap with him.

 

Omg Finn was so congested last night/this morning.  I think teething related, but idk, maybe a cold?  Either way, at 4 he was obviously not able to breathe.  I flipped on the humidifier and it helped a little, but he really could not get comfortable.  He was somewhat alseep tho, so I didn't want to completely wake him up by getting up and sucking his nose.  I let him sleep on my chest on a bit of an incline.  He did much better that way.  Still woke up at 7 tho.  More coffee please!

 

Oh - re caffeine.  I just read a study that says that the amount of coffee you drink had no impact on infant sleep.  I do think babies can be sensitive to caffeine, personally, but I don't think it interferes with how deeply or soundly they sleep.  I think if anything, Lauri, cut back the soda.  I find when I go from coffee in the morning, to soda in the afternoon, I do feel like crap.  And I drink diet.  Maybe it's the artificial sweeteners?  Maybe not tho, b/c if I drink crystal light type iced tea, I don't feel the same bad effects.

I joke with DH that my day revolves around coffee in the am, soda in the afternoon, and wine at night to relax.  Repeat.  

 

We got some great photos yesterday of the kids.  Can't wait to get them up.  Nora is doing wonderfully on her two wheeler (took off like a pro the first ride!) and Finn was such a cutie!  Lots of pics to go thru so going to get started.  BBL!

 


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Old 04-09-2012, 07:38 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Kat ~ Wow, what luck winning that stroller! I've never seen one IRL or used one but I know they are popular. They sure are expensive, at least.

Since you brought up organic baby clothes, do you know where to get any online? I've been searching for some long-sleeved, long pant rompers/sleepers/PJs for Dylan because he kicks the covers off at night but can't find much of anything larger than 6 months.

Annie ~ Could you switch from soda to tea so you'd still get some caffeine but without all the soda chemicals? If you make your own and want 0 calories, you can sweeten it with Stevia (Truvia is the best tasting brand I've found so far).

Carrie ~ My dh does a lot of what your dh does. But, be careful wishing that he'll stand up to you. Sean used to always go along with whatever I wanted until he came back from the Marine Corps Officer Candidate School. Then I became the only person he would stand up to. It really pisses me off. It makes me feel even less important because he'll go along with others just to make them happy/not rock the boat but he'll either argue with or ignore me.

I was thinking more about why these little things bother me so much. I think a large part of it is it's family/home stuff that he seems to be dumb about. That's the most important thing in life to me, knowing the people you love. He can't be bothered, though. He can't take the time to notice or remember what we like or dislike, what is ours, that sort of thing. He's accommodating to complete strangers that he'll never see again at the expense of us.

An example of that happened last night. When we went to bed I told Sean to make sure he closed the downstairs windows. I have to tell him every night or else he won't do it even though common sense would say to close them for safety reasons just like he doesn't think to lock the doors (Doesn't he care enough about his family to do everything he can to keep us safe? Apparently not). Someone could easily climb in through those windows and kill us all. It was warm upstairs, though, so I said that I was wondering whether or not to open the upstairs windows. It was too warm at that time for me to sleep but it has been getting cold at night even with the windows closed and I didn't want to get woken up in the middle of the night freezing. Of course, I don't get a straight answer from him because he doesn't know how to solve a problem and make a decision. eyesroll.gif I finally went and opened a few of the upstairs windows. He went downstairs to clean the kitchen, close the windows and lock the doors. I came down this morning to find half the windows still open. When asked if he had closed them last night, he said, "Oh, I thought you wanted them open because you were warm." Um, hello, idiot! I ALWAYS close the downstairs windows. I would never leave them open just like I would never leave the doors unlocked. If you knew me, you'd know that. Even if you don't know me, it's pretty freakin' stupid to leave the house wide open for anyone to enter, especially since I recently had my GPS stolen from my car (that he left unlocked because he never locks anything and laughs at me for locking things during the day).

But, yeah, Kat, like I said before, there's really no point in having it out with him. We've been around and around about this sort of thing and he never gets it. I need to work on accepting him the way he is or accepting that our marriage will not last. He's not going to change. My problem is that I take that as him not caring enough to make an effort. All of that is a trigger for me because it makes me feel the same way my mother made me feel. She never could be bothered to pay attention to me, to really get to know me, to care about my likes and dislikes. She was too busy with her own social life and I never felt like she loved me. It's pretty horrible when a child feels like she isn't even worthy of her own mother's love. Anyway, I spent a lot of years in our early marriage working on accepting his "quirks". It became so much work. I don't think it should be so much work just to be able to stand being around the person you are married to, ya know?

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Old 04-09-2012, 09:36 AM
 
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MW: this site looks awesome, not the cheapest stuff, but I've found that alot of the organic cotton stuff lasts and holds up better, so maybe worth it. http://www.urthchild.com/clothes---shoes-rompers.html

 

I am not big on arguing and confrontation. The older I get, the less I feel it's worth it. My DH Is the opposite, locks the car at times and places I think it's silly (like when we are at a family gathering out in the country, sitting outside in full view of the car) It's hard work, marriage, I think. Is part of the problem the fact he's been gone so much the last few years? is any of it likely to improve with him being home permamently?

 

 


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Old 04-09-2012, 11:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by akind1 View Post

Is part of the problem the fact he's been gone so much the last few years? is any of it likely to improve with him being home permamently?

I used to think maybe but not really anymore. He has always been like this to a certain extent but he used to at least make an effort. Now he just does whatever without really thinking. After 13 years of going around and around about the same things, if he hasn't gotten it yet, he's not going to. He's not making any effort to know us any better.

Another example, yesterday as we were leaving I was in the house searching all over for my phone that I had put next to the door. After several minutes I asked if anyone had seen it. At that point Sean said he had it in his pocket. He was around me at the car and in the garage and didn't mention that he picked up my phone? Why wouldn't you say something about that? "Hey, I got your phone." He thought I forgot it even though I was clearly not ready to leave yet since my purse was still in the house. He just assumed, which he always does even though he's almost always wrong. I told him the safest assumption he could make was to not assume. I've been telling him that for years. Don't assume you know what's going on. Ask. It's not hard to ask.

What I need is an IRL girlfriend who I can call up to bitch about my dh who will just listen to me rant. lol.gif

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Old 04-09-2012, 12:27 PM
 
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MW, you should check out Hanna Andersson pjs. They are super comfy, organic and great colors. They are pricey but they last a long time. www.hannaandersson.com

 

Husband and wife dynamics...yeah it's hard. I joke sometimes that it would be easier for my mom, sister and I to just live together because we've been together for so long that we do everything pretty much the same way. Our poor husbands bear the brunt of us getting frustrated and micromanaging them because they do things differently. For instance, the windows thing wouldn't have bothered me at all. But I tend to be the one that leaves cars and houses unlocked all the time. shrug.gif But it would frustrate me if we had had that specific conversation, he agreed and then did the opposite. Or completely misinterpreted it. 

 

DD is really missing her big brothers and sisters. They went to their mom's last night and they had been with us for 10 days. This morning, she kept pointing to their rooms and when I would take her in there, her face would fall and she would start looking around for them. gloomy.gif I kept telling her that they had to go back to school and we'll see them soon. I think I'm going to try to take her to their school during lunch this week so she can see them.

 

Re: caffeine. Yeah I'm definitely cutting out the diet coke. I know the chemicals in it are super bad for me. I've never drank as much soda as I do now. I started when I started working the evening shifts. So no more diet coke. I also got coffee last night that is half-caff. I don't drink that much coffee anyways so I really think if she's having an issue, it's the soda. I need to do a better job of taking my thyroid med and also my prenatal vitamin. That will help with my energy level also.

 

I've been considering doing the 30-day shred video. Has anyone had any experience with that? I joined the July 2011 DDC on FB and a lot of the mamas on there have done or are doing the 30-day shred. The workout is only 20 mins at a time. I figure I can make it through that!

 

akind1, what a score on winning that stroller! I would be so excited!


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Old 04-09-2012, 02:56 PM
 
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Nice win on the stroller, kat! I missed that before!  Sweet!!!

 

I did the 30 day shred.  Ok, no I didn't.  It's HARD.  lol.gif  I did it for like 3 days and then gave my dvd away to someone else.  It sounds so freaking easy, 20 min here and there, but man.  It's a grueling 20 min.  That said...I kind of wish I still had it.

I didn't care for Jillian Michaels on the dvd.  she is very uncomfortable in front of the camera and it made getting thru the workout hard.  Almost comical.  She is much better on The Biggest Loser and not talking directly at the tv camera.

 

Ugh, MW.  I so so so so hear you on needing the girlfriend IRL.  I think it would help me a lot too.  I need to laugh at and vent about certain behaviors of his, but I can't b/c I have no one to do that with.  I used to with D.  Then after she moved, I realized the venting was much too complain-y to translate to text messages or long phone calls.

I'm really optimistic about this new friend/mama I've met on my street.  Her DD is 16 mo and she is TTC another.  She doesn't seem overly crunchy, accidentally weaned her DD early on by getting too busy.  But she's RIGHT THERE down the block.  We meet for stroller walks and the other night hung out in my back yard.  

Reminds me, I need to call her.  She called me yesterday and I forgot to call back what with the holiday.

 

I think Finn has a cold.  He's congested.  Either that or teeth are really just about to cut.  He is very drippy and runny.

 

I had EWCM this morning, and now all day I've had menstrual type cramps that feel exactly like AF.  I keep checking.  It makes no sense and I'm so confused!!!  Ugh!  But proud I held out and didn't start hormonal BCP or get an IUD.  Now I know my body is just doing what it needs to.  I would like a break from the crazy pms hormones though!  I am acting like such a bitch to everyone!!  


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