children VERY close in age - share positive story - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 04-11-2012, 01:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm worried I messed up and might be pregnant at 3 months pp. Could someone please tell me something positive so I don't feel so stressed about this. We want more kids but this of coarse is kind of soon and I'm mostly worried about health and breastfeeding. And of coarse how to deal with two small children with no help.

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#2 of 13 Old 04-11-2012, 06:38 PM
 
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I had babies #3 and #4 fourteen months apart. It's doable. I had much less nausea with the pregnancies so close together, which my midwife tells me is common. They are now 2 and 15 months and it's still  A LOT of work, but if you are pregnant you will make it work!

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#3 of 13 Old 04-11-2012, 07:04 PM
 
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I had my daughter December 14, 2010, got pregnant the following April. My son was born December 30, 2011. So they are 12 months and 16 days apart.(My due dates were only 3 days apart) I am also doing it alone. My hubby has been deployed since I was 10 weeks pregnant with #2. To me it really isn't that hard. They keep me busy. But enjoying them. My daghter loves her baby brother. It is So fun to watch them together. They make eachother laugh all the time. The hardest part is going out. My daugher could walk at 11 months, so that mae it easier. But usually have her in the stroller and hin in my Moby wrap. Or I let her walk and carry him in his carseat to a shopping cart! I think the benefits of having them so close together is they will be pretty much on the same schedule here in a few months. They will do everything together. Congrats! ~I Love My Babies~


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#4 of 13 Old 04-12-2012, 11:51 AM
 
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No personal experience (though I have a niece and nephew who are 11 months apart and very close as adults) but from my reading, it is actually easier on *the kids* to be under 18 months apart.  In some ways, apparently, it gets rid of a lot of sibling rivalry issues because there is not that awareness of "when I was an only child" for the older one--- they've always, in their memory, had a sibling.

 

Good luck!


 

 

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#5 of 13 Old 04-12-2012, 03:51 PM
 
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My siblings and myself were close in age.

1st my brother, 14 months later my sister and then 22 months later I came along.

My brother turned 3 yrs old 4 days after my birth.

 

I can't say we didn't have sibling rivalry, because we did. Having 3 young kids in the house, it was hard to share as we could often be interested in the same toys. My brother still considered himself oldest/older...but we (my sister and I) didn't see him as much older or much more able. He didn't like that too much. And we didn't like it when he was allowed to do things that we were not yet, due to our age.

 

My Mum found it easier in some aspects, especially after we were toddlers. It was easier to find activities that we were all interested in. There wasn't many activities too old for me or too young for my brother, so we could all enjoy time together as a family. When we played softball, she didn't have to do 3 separate teams on 3 separate nights/times as there was always 2 of the 3 of us able to be on the same team.

The hand me downs were OK on the most part. Stuff still in style as it came time for the next kid to fit into them.

 

Obviously having 2 or 3 babies/toddlers at a time can be rough, but having kids close in age can be easier.

We were definitely more like peers than some of other sibling groups were.


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#6 of 13 Old 04-12-2012, 04:17 PM
 
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A good friend of mine got pregnant at 4m, and she was a co-sleeping and breastfeeding mother. She managed to maintain her milk supply to the extent that she never supplemented with anything other than solids and then tandemed for awhile after the infant was born.

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#7 of 13 Old 04-12-2012, 04:53 PM
 
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My 1st are 18 months apart. I nursed right thru the pregnancy and continued to nurse both. At first it was tough but them the time soon came when they were interested in the same things. I could easily do something that pleased both at the same time. Now the boys are older (10,8) I have a 3 yr old. THAT has been much harder than the two so close. I had got used to sleeping again, me time! Now the gap is too wide to always please everyone. She sits thru karate twice a week etc. If they go see a movie I pace around the movies for hours!  I have found this much more of a challenge. I felt guilty for the time taken away from the boys when she was a baby.

I just ordered a book on sibling rivalry tho!!! 

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#8 of 13 Old 04-17-2012, 03:09 PM
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Mine are 17 months apart and they love each other. They play together all day long and really get along so well, most of the time. 

I was so concerned that I would be disadvantaging the older one by not giving her my undivided attention for 2 1/2 - 3 years, but, if anything, she's 

benefited so much more from having a constant playmate. There is no rivalry. The first year was hard (but I was back at work almost immediately

after number 2). Now, though, it's pretty ideal. 


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#9 of 13 Old 04-18-2012, 04:00 AM
 
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15 mos apart.  My supply dipped in the pregnancy enough that I did give one bottle a day, but still nursed oh, plenty (and she was eating some food also).  Tandeming was fine and both were extended nursed.  You never need to put away all the baby paraphenalia and then get it back out.  You just roll right into the next one.  During the difficulties of the first trimester, your baby will still pretty much sit where you put her.  Then when they are older they can be in the same classes, do the same activities often at the same time.  Very convenient.  Wouldn't have spaced them out more if I could have.   When they were small I did have a lady come in once a week to give me a break, a morning off.

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#10 of 13 Old 04-24-2012, 03:02 PM
 
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Oh my, it's been fantastic here. Mine are 25 months apart, and are best friends. DS never had the severe jealousy, younger-sibling-taking-over problem, as he was just 2 when she was born. He did revert to babyhood for a few months, but that was it. As soon as DD could walk and talk they were friends, and have only gotten closer over the years. Fight on rare occasions - a minor disagreement maybe every other day, a real fight maybe once a week, otherwise fine. They are 7 and 5.

 

Just so you don't think everything is perfect - a lot of this is luck. A real lot. Like that I had a son first, daughter second. That my son is very warm and mellow. That my daughter is very verbal and social. Their personalities just mesh in the right way. Another two kids and it could have been completely different. I didn't do anything magical to make them this way. I don't think anyone can.

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#11 of 13 Old 04-26-2012, 11:21 AM
 
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Here are three good-news stories: 

 

My older brother and I are 11 months apart.  :0  (What were my parents thinking?!!)  And I have another brother 23 months younger.  We all turned out fine.  My older brother and I are very different from each other-- he's extremely easy going, and my mother says I bossed him around from the time I could crawl.  But he didn't care.  (Sweet guy.)   We're all close as adults.   I bickered with my younger brother when I was in elementary school, but we all got along by middle school years.

 

I have a dear friend whose dd was born 2 months prematurely and she and her brother are 10 1/2 months apart.   They're coping just fine.  The dd is 2 now.  The children are madly in love with each other and the older brother has been amazing, even though he was just 1 when his sister was born.  They sleep in the same room.

 

And finally, my older boys are twins, 2 minutes apart. Nothing's harder than twin infants, IMO.  But I survived.  They're wonderful, happy boys. 

 

You can handle it and your children will love having a sibling so close in age.

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#12 of 13 Old 05-22-2012, 08:19 PM
 
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My two are less than 10 months apart. N was adopted at 8 months and was an only child until age 4, when we adopted H at age 3, just in September. She actually had her 4th birthday in Russia at the baby home, visiting with her sister. We were so anxious about this age gap. But it has actually turned out to be nothing but positive. We thought they would fight from sunup to sundown - they play from sunup to sundown. We thought N would be territorial, not want to share our attention or space, regress, or act out. Instead, she welcomed her sister with open arms, the two have wound up sleeping together every night (if not in my bed together, in N's), happily sharing, and enjoying what she seems to consider a neverending playdate with a best friend.

 

Two preschoolers is tiring some days, but more often than not, it's actually easier for me. They play with each other constantly, and though they often bring me into their games, they can play by themselves. When N was an only child, she needed me so much to be her playmate, all day, every day. She was too young to really do much in the way of playdates, and I don't believe in that much anyway, so I was it. Now they distract each other, and I can get a meal cooked or even a good hour of reading now, just by sticking nearby where they're playing, but letting them do their thing together.

 

I've never parented a true infant, so I'm not able to provide experience, but I can say that by the time they're preschoolers, the positives of closely spaced children far outweigh the negatives!

 

Oh, and I'm one of 9, all girls. We're all no more than 3 years apart each, and I loved it. Except my oldest sister (I'm 2nd oldest), we're all very close and pretty much entertained each other.

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#13 of 13 Old 05-29-2012, 01:07 PM
 
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My ds1 and ds2 are 16 months apart, my ds2 and my dd are 18 months apart.  

 

It was sooooooooo easy with the first two.  Ds2 lived in his Ergo for the first 9 months of his life, so I could continue doing all the fun things I had been doing with ds1.  I did lose my milk, but we managed to find ways around that.

 

The best part about them being so close is that they are pretty much on the same level. The same books/toys/games/silliness interest them.  But then a downside to that (sorry, I know you want positive things!) are that they are doing the same irritating things as well, like grabbing, hitting, etc.  But then (add the positive!) discipline is on the same level too.  Oh, and clothes! When ds1 outgrows his clothes, they just move from his side of the closet, to my other ds side.  There was no packing things away, waiting for the next child to grow into them, and then bringing them out later.

 

I had tons of fun with the first two.  DD is still newborn, so life is hectic at the moment =\


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