Being the grown-up sucks (on occasion) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 04-24-2012, 02:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Gotta be the grown-up, I know. Just a rant. I have a 7 yo and a 5 yo, and a husband. I love them all dearly.

 

I have a degree in art and now that the kids are older I am painting again, and loving it. I am opening an atelier in town next month. All very exciting. I have an opportunity to apply for an art residency.

 

Pros: I have never been to a residency but have gotten tons of positive reviews about how intense it is, how much you grow and learn... Additionally, this specific residency is PERFECT for me. I mean I am filling out the info online and everything about the company sponsoring the residency and I fit. I don't even have to try. It's like applying for the job that you are absolutely perfect for and you don't have to stretch a thing, you just say it as it is and they want you and you take the job and everyone is glad. 

 

Cons: it is one month - in another country. Over an ocean. So family visits would be impossible. And it would put everything on DH while I am gone. (I have gone on 1 week business trips before - but those were mandatory and paid the bills). And this is I suppose a luxury item. I'm not going to make money going. I am not going to get anything, except experience and knowledge. And even that is a maybe. Who knows? 

 

I'm sucking it up. I have to be a responsible adult. But I feel like a hand is reaching out to me for something special, and I am just walking away. And these things come up RARELY in a lifetime, if at all. It's not like I could try next year. Same problem. Bummer. 

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#2 of 11 Old 04-24-2012, 04:19 PM
 
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Is it financially possible to do it?  If so, you know you should, right?  A month is a long time for a five and a seven year old, but it's not unthinkable and they are plenty old enough to count down the days on a calendar.  They would be with their father, and well taken care of I assume.  You could skype every day.  And you could find some way to do at least a token payback to the hubby.  The idea of being alone with the kids for a whole month would freak me out, but if my husband had a really awesome opportunity like that, I see it as a worthwhile challenge.  


Jayne, sewing up a storm mama to ds1 9/03, ds2 2/09, and 2 sweet furbabies.

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#3 of 11 Old 04-24-2012, 04:22 PM
 
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If its just a one time occasion where you will be gone 4 weeks I say GO FOR IT. Now, if this path would create a life style where you would be gone long periods of time through out your dc childhood, then ya, probably not in your families best interest. 

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#4 of 11 Old 04-24-2012, 04:29 PM
 
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Apply. If you are offered the residency, figure it out. You're kids are a little older than mine is, but I would do it if it were a possibility for me.
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#5 of 11 Old 04-25-2012, 01:41 AM
 
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I would totally do it! Yes it would be hard on your husband and kids but it's 4 weeks out of a whole lifetime. There are definitely lots of ways that you can keep in contact with your kids. You will not permenantly scar your children. It is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Being a grown up does not mean giving up your dreams.


It's complicated.
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#6 of 11 Old 04-25-2012, 05:35 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Learning_Mum View Post

Being a grown up does not mean giving up your dreams.

 

Perfect! Your kids need you to stay true to YOU. It will be very hard but manageable.

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#7 of 11 Old 04-25-2012, 05:57 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sere234 View Post

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Learning_Mum View Post

Being a grown up does not mean giving up your dreams.

 

Perfect! Your kids need you to stay true to YOU. It will be very hard but manageable.

 


I think seeing parents do things for themselves that are hard, helps kids see that they can do it too. Such an important thing!

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#8 of 11 Old 04-25-2012, 08:44 AM
 
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I always try to think about things like this like if it was my grown up kid and they had kids would I want them to do it.  if so then do it.  you cant deprive yourself the kind of life you want them to have for them.  kwim?

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#9 of 11 Old 04-25-2012, 08:57 AM
 
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As long as this is financially feasible, I agree with everyone else, you should go for it.

 

Being the grown up doesn't mean that we aren't allowed any hopes and dreams of our own. By taking opportunities that are good for yourself you are teaching your children to value in shooting for their dreams and investing in themselves. 

 

Yes being on his own with the kids for a month will be tough. However, the kids and your husband will be fine. They may even grow and learn a bit about about independence and helpfulness while you are gone. At the very least they'll appreciate you bunches when you come home, at least for a bit.


Mom to DS 4/24/03 and DD 4/17/06
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#10 of 11 Old 04-25-2012, 09:47 AM
 
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Um, Dudette...hellOOOO!!?? You need to take this opportunity! A month??! Yeah, that seems like a long time, but it's not, and this is a MAJOR deal for your resume! Who knows what connections you could form, what opportunities could come about as a result of this trip!

If it is financially possible....you need to apply. That is a "no brainer". 5 and 7 are old enough to be "good kids" and help dad out while you're gone and understand that you're coming back. You've got seven years into motherhood...you've been pouring yourself into this long enough that you deserve to take a break to chase your own star for a few days. It's good for you...which means it's good for all of them, too.

 

If you said it was for a few months or a year...I'd say no way. That's not good, that's too long. A month, though, is not a hardship...it's an adventure!

Moms gone for a month...that is an opportunity for you...but also for dad and kids! Yeah, it'll be more for him to do...but if he goes into it with the right attitude, this could be the most fun and special time EVER for him and the kids! They could think back on and fondly remember this time for years and years to come.

Mine are only 2 and 3 years old...so that's a bit different...but if they were your kids age, man, my DH and kids would LOVE to have a "fun time Dada" adventure month with mean ole  bed making, hair brushing, "eat your sauerkraut" mama gone! Hahaha....I can see it now. The house would be in SHAMBLES by the time I got back. HAhahaha...camping gear everywhere, greasy film covering all surfaces...nothing but salsa and strawberry yogurt in the fridge...they would have a BALL!

DO IT DO IT DO IT!  This is an amazing opportunity for you!


Me and DH ...lovin' DD dust.gif(6/08) and DS kid.gif(11/09) Plus NEW BABY!! DD baby.gif (UC-5/12) We heartbeat.gif Water Birth/Homebirth/No Vax or Circ/BF/BW/Country Livin'! chicken3.gif

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#11 of 11 Old 04-25-2012, 09:56 AM
 
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First apply, then decide. If you have to assemble a portfolio and so on, it will be good for you to complete the application even if you decide not to go. 


Divorced mom of one awesome boy born 2-3-2003.
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