I'd consider myself a successful mother if my children grow up and...(10 words or less) - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 43 Old 05-19-2012, 11:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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A few friends and I were discussing being a mother this evening.  What would you consider to be the pinnacle of your success as a mother?  Phrased differently, if X happens, then you will feel like you've done a good job.

 

Finish the sentence:  I'd consider myself a successful mother if my children grow up and...(10 words or less)

 

Answers from those in the conversation:  

I'd consider myself a successful mother if my children grow up and choose careers/life paths that bring them personal happiness.

I'd consider myself a successful mother if my children grow up and remain dedicated to our religion.

I'd consider myself a successful mother if my children grow up and become parents themselves.

I'd consider myself a successful mother if my children grow up and know how to find joy.

I'd consider myself a successful mother if my children grow up and become contributing members of a community.

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#2 of 43 Old 05-19-2012, 11:14 PM
 
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...if my children grow up and have healthy relationships with the people around them.
 

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#3 of 43 Old 05-20-2012, 02:15 PM
 
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I'd consider myself a successful mother if my children grow up and have integrity, treat others with respect and are happy.

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#4 of 43 Old 05-20-2012, 04:49 PM
 
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I'd consider myself a successful mother if my children grow up and are responsible, kind, free thinking individuals, who follow their bliss.

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#5 of 43 Old 05-20-2012, 06:02 PM
 
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I'd consider myself a successful mother if my children grow up and... become the people they were created to be.
 


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#6 of 43 Old 05-20-2012, 10:16 PM
 
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have the tools and knowledge to be their best self.

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#7 of 43 Old 05-21-2012, 03:23 AM
 
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... are happy and kind.

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#8 of 43 Old 05-21-2012, 10:20 AM
 
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...have a good education
 


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#9 of 43 Old 05-21-2012, 01:23 PM
 
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...treat others respectfully and are self-sufficient.

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#10 of 43 Old 05-22-2012, 12:37 PM
 
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...have a strong spiritual foundation
...have a strong sense of self
...have empathy for others
...have the knowledge that they can be/do anything they set their hearts on

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#11 of 43 Old 05-22-2012, 12:40 PM
 
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...empathetic, loving, secure, and happy individuals not afraid to pursue anything.
 


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#12 of 43 Old 05-22-2012, 01:01 PM
 
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if she is truly happy.

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#13 of 43 Old 05-22-2012, 01:06 PM
 
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... are wise enough to do what makes them happy.

... are skeptical enough to not be taken in.

... are open enough to let the good ones in.

... outgrow this phase of wanting to wear bathing suits 24/7.

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#14 of 43 Old 05-22-2012, 03:05 PM
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I'll quote Anna Quindlen on this one:

"I'd be the most content if my children grew up to be the type of people who think decorating a house consists mainly of building enough bookshelves."

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
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#15 of 43 Old 05-22-2012, 03:16 PM
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... is doing things she finds personally meaningful and has relationships with people she values and enjoys.

 
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#16 of 43 Old 05-23-2012, 07:39 AM
 
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habitually treat others with kindness, compassion and respect.

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#17 of 43 Old 05-23-2012, 08:55 AM
 
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...if she is resilient, open-minded, and compassionate towards herself and others.

 

I found this remarkably hard to do! Most days I have no idea what constitutes success as a parent...


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#18 of 43 Old 05-24-2012, 08:52 PM
 
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I'd be happy if my children grow up and.....are respectful, respected, and happy.

 

have good relationships with each other and us.


lovin DH since 1/04, SAHM to 3 boys 10/04, 11/08, 11/10 one girlie (1/07), and one 13 wk (10/13) just your average :ha ng multigenerational living family!!
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#19 of 43 Old 05-24-2012, 11:08 PM
 
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If my children grow up to be happy, loving and wise parents who strive for social justice.

Book loving, editor mom to 2

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#20 of 43 Old 05-25-2012, 06:31 AM
 
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... are deeply connected to fulfilling people, passions and careers.

 

a more "jokey" one I heard lately....

 

 

"I'll consider myself a sucessful parent if my kids can afford their own therapy to complain about all the ways we screwed them up!"

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#21 of 43 Old 05-25-2012, 08:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chiefmir View Post

... are deeply connected to fulfilling people, passions and careers.

I like this!

 
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#22 of 43 Old 05-25-2012, 01:16 PM
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Chris Rock said that his whole job as a father is to make sure that his daughter doesn't end up working in a strip club. I guess that's one definition of "success"!

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
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#23 of 43 Old 05-25-2012, 01:32 PM
 
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I'd consider myself a successful mother if my children grow up and actually enjoy spending time with me and DH as adults!

 

I think this reflects better how the kids would feel towards me which is the best measure of success (for me at least).

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#24 of 43 Old 05-25-2012, 02:25 PM
 
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able to create their own definitions of success and then achieve them, and then able to enjoy that success.

 

on the therapy front, have the the self awareness to realize if and when they need help, and then the peace of mind to just get it.
 


but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

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#25 of 43 Old 05-26-2012, 11:21 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post

able to create their own definitions of success and then achieve them, and then able to enjoy that success.

 

 

I think I like this one better than mine.


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#26 of 43 Old 05-27-2012, 07:33 AM
 
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#27 of 43 Old 05-28-2012, 07:08 AM
 
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Quote: 

 

Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post

able to create their own definitions of success and then achieve them, and then able to enjoy that success.

 

 

 

Spot on!

 

I often feel that people would judge me as unsuccessful, because i didnt dedicate myself to a 'successful' career. But i feel very successful on my own terms, in choosing late motherhood.  I often find myself thinking of the way i was parented, and having enjoyed my childhood,  and think to myself, well i am successful on my own terms, and i owe  the inner strength that it takes to achieve that to my parents. 

 

 

 

on the therapy front, have the the self awareness to realize if and when they need help, and then the peace of mind to just get it.
 

 

Absolutely! Self awareness and peace of mind is the key.

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#28 of 43 Old 05-28-2012, 08:29 AM
 
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OK, I really like what Linda on the move wrote, and after some thinking, I'm revising my statement.

 

I'd consider myself a successful mother if my child grows up and I am able to enjoy her, love her and support her exactly as she is.

 

I'm more comfortable defining my success as a parent in terms of what I do, not what my kid does. If I can figure out how to stay open, loving & supportive, no matter what my child chooses to do or be, I'll consider that a success.


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#29 of 43 Old 05-28-2012, 10:30 AM
 
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I'd consider myself a successful mother if my dd just grows up.  I think there is something to be said for just keeping her alive and healthy enough to reach adulthood.

I'd consider myself a successful mother if my dd can take care of herself as an adult.

I'd consider myself a successful mother if my dd has some good memories of her childhood.

 

I don't feel I could take credit or blame for everything she will do or feel as an adult. I do wish for her to be happy. I do hope she will treat herself and others with respect and kindness. If she somehow isn't happy or kind as an adult then I don't think I failed as a mother.

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#30 of 43 Old 05-30-2012, 11:45 PM
 
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... if my dd grows up and decides its ok to be different, to be the odd one out. that she does what SHE wants to do rather than what society/peers say... walking the difficult path because she wants to. 

 

that its ok to be alone. sad but ok. 


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