"Mama, why can men go with no shirts but mama's always have to wear shirts?" - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#31 of 36 Old 06-27-2012, 03:04 PM
 
transylvania_mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: abroad
Posts: 1,084
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)

nt


caffix.gif

transylvania_mom is offline  
#32 of 36 Old 06-27-2012, 03:11 PM
 
JollyGG's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 1,654
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by motherhendoula View Post

LOL - i have no advice for you  - but i wanted to say i am soon going to be 43 years old and i still very vividly recall my grandmother telling me i couldnt take my shirt off when i was about 4 (i was playing with all boys and it was hot outside!)  i wanted to take my shirt off like they did and saw NO reason why i shouldnt - my grandmother told me it 'wasnt nice'  

that really wasnt very helpfull! 

Its a tough one, when i have bumped up against sexism/ classism/ racism with my kids i do tend to brush it off - 'oh, most women dont like to take their shirts off"  or something along those lines...i dont think thats the BEST way to handle it....just what i managed to come up with when put on the spot! 

hope you'll have better luck - let us know how turns out!

I remember having the exact same conversation with my daughter.

 

"Mom can I take my shirt off"

"No"

"But T gets to, why can't I"

pause why I think.....

"You know what your right. You may take your shirt off"

 

I decided that she would figure out the social mores on her own long before it became an issue (to me it's not an issue until there's something on top that makes people even realize she's a girl.) And she has. We both agree it's not right or fair, and at age 6 she'll still take her shirt off in our own home, backyard, car, grandma's house, but not in public.


Mom to DS 4/24/03 and DD 4/17/06
JollyGG is offline  
#33 of 36 Old 06-29-2012, 11:57 AM
 
hildare's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: in-the-sticks-off-a-dirt-road, GA
Posts: 2,687
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

my kid just takes off her shirt whenever she feels like it.  four year olds have the same boobs whether they are male or female.  shrug.gif


Is it getting lonely in the echo chamber yet?

hildare is offline  
#34 of 36 Old 06-29-2012, 04:04 PM
 
meemee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Norther California
Posts: 12,784
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 22 Post(s)

at home that's fine. in public nope. i get looks if not specific comments. and warnings from other mamas to be careful and not have CPS on me. 

 

yes all over a bare chest. 


 treehugger.gif Co-parent, joy.gifcold.gifbrand new homeschooling middle schoolerjoy.gif, and an attackcat.gif 
meemee is online now  
#35 of 36 Old 06-29-2012, 06:00 PM
 
serenbat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,371
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 101 Post(s)
Quote:
  Would she feel able to defend herself against criticism or harassment? 

 

 

Is a woman/girl responsible if she is raped based on how she is dressed?

 

 

Quote:
 If there would be people present whom we know have strong feelings about girls wearing tops, is her bare-chested comfort more important than courtesy to them? 

to each their own- the story you retold about the boy and the sleeping bag is so very similar to those countless stories told by those who grew up forced into gender stereotypes only to come out as adults saying what heartache and anguish they had as a child- I feel very sorry for that young boy 


 

 pro-transparency advocate

&

lurk.gif  PROUD member of the .3% club!

 

Want to join? Just ask me!

 

"You know, in my day we used to sit on our ass smoking Parliaments for nine months.

Today, you have one piece of Brie and everybody goes berserk."      ROTFLMAO.gif 

serenbat is offline  
#36 of 36 Old 06-30-2012, 03:58 AM
 
serenbat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,371
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 101 Post(s)

I find this thread so similar to the current age/bikini thread - I like how one mother put it there- it doesn't so much matter what the girl will wear-boys will look anyways at her and I view this so much here too. 

 

Even in US culture we have many individuals that view hair as something that should be covered and those who feel most of the body should as well. To please (or what ever word you want to say) others when there are no laws forbidding it does send a direct message to a small child. Many in the US grow up with extreme body images as well- how much comes from being ashamed of their body over what they are told as children? We have so many mothers who are fearful of even showing the are breast-feeding due to how covered up society (often times) makes them feel about their breasts. Know it's going on but can see it over the layers of covering.

 

Personally I feel if you as a parent are so concerned as to your child being made fun-off (or what ever term you want to use), over an object (such as a sleeping bag) or something real and beautiful such as their bodies, you are compounding the issue by making it one instead of giving the child the coping skills to deal with those who would be uncomfortable. If the child is ridiculed in the case of an object, frankly those same people will do it over anything towards that child-IMO. 

 

I find it good to see many do allow their girls to be topless and hopefully the next generation won't be so uncomfortable with their beautiful bodies and those around them will see it for what it is-natural and not in need of covering or shame.


 

 pro-transparency advocate

&

lurk.gif  PROUD member of the .3% club!

 

Want to join? Just ask me!

 

"You know, in my day we used to sit on our ass smoking Parliaments for nine months.

Today, you have one piece of Brie and everybody goes berserk."      ROTFLMAO.gif 

serenbat is offline  
Reply

Tags
Child

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off