How would you respond to these kinds of comments? - Mothering Forums

Thread Tools
#1 of 4 Old 07-07-2012, 06:53 AM - Thread Starter
callieollie's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,097
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)

I was just reading an article on perfectionism in children and it was talking about the importance of playing up person strengths and downplaying competition. It reminded me of a huge pet peeve of mine that I have about dh's aunt.  Whenever she sees my 6-year-old ds, she always makes some comment like, "I bet you are the best reader in the whole class" or "Are you the smartest kid at school?" or some other thing like that. It really bothers me. Ds never really responds because I'm sure he's not sure how and I have responded at times in various ways, but I'm wondering how you would respond to something like that (if you would at all - maybe it's just me that has issue with it).  

callieollie is offline  
Sponsored Links
#2 of 4 Old 07-07-2012, 09:24 AM
swd12422's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,112
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)

I think saying, "I do MY best" or "He does very well -- he really enjoys XYZ" is enough. It's no one's business, not even family's what the kids' grades are in school. To me, that's like asking someone how much money they earn at their jobs. Who cares? Isn't it more important that they're ENJOYING what they're doing, whatever that is? I'd remind the nosey people that that's where your priorities lie, maybe with a little reminder that the most successful people in the world are those who are happy doing what they do.

Or you can just act like she's obviously not as smart as you thought, and say, "He's the GREATEST at EVERYTHING -- how can you not know that???"

swd12422 is offline  
#3 of 4 Old 07-07-2012, 09:58 PM
proudMoMmy2634's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 154
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)

I think it's okey to give kids that kind of complement as long as you wont push the kid to do things too much. Make them do what you want in a way that they will enjoy it. :Djoy.gif

Living is great but being a MOM is even better
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

proudMoMmy2634 is offline  
#4 of 4 Old 07-08-2012, 02:05 PM
Linda on the move's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: basking in the sunshine
Posts: 11,577
Mentioned: 12 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 374 Post(s)
Originally Posted by callieollie View Post

.... dh's aunt.  Whenever she sees my 6-year-old ds, she always makes some comment like, "I bet you are the best reader in the whole class" or "Are you the smartest kid at school?" .....t I'm wondering how you would respond to something like that



While I agree that the comments are lame and not the most helpful way to speak to a child, if this is a relative that I seldom saw, I would teach my child some appropriate ways to respond and leave it at that. Your DH's aunt has very limited input to how your child turns out -- it's the way you and your DH speak to your son that really make the difference. Your child will have so many people say so many things to them over the years, and most of it just washes away.


My kids are teens, and if I could go back, I wouldn't get so worked up over so many things -- my kids were stronger than I realized and they didn't need every interaction with every adult to be perfect to find their own strength.


You could teach your son to respond with a big smile and saying something like "I do well, and right now I'm really into __________________." And just pivot the conversation to something he wants to talk about.


But make this about helping him find his strength and his voice, not about trying to make the world he lives in perfect. He doesn't need a perfect world.

but everything has pros and cons  shrug.gif

Linda on the move is offline  

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Online Users: 16,417

41 members and 16,376 guests
agentofchaos , AndreaOlson , BarefootBrooke , Bkind4give , casaresalicia91 , cfaokunla , Deborah , Dovenoir , easydoesit , ELTAZ , emmy526 , girlspn , greenemami , hellen19 , inlovev , jamesmorrow , katelove , kathymuggle , Kelleybug , kindofcrunchy82 , Lea Martin , lhargrave89 , lisak1234 , Lydia08 , mckittre , Michele123 , midnight mom , moominmamma , NaturallyKait , pokeyac , RollerCoasterMama , samaxtics , Springshowers , sren , verticalscope , VsAngela , zoeyzoo
Most users ever online was 449,755, 06-25-2014 at 12:21 PM.