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#1 of 16 Old 09-20-2012, 08:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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That I have no "best" friend. 

 

We had a little family emergency the other day and I had no one to call - sure I have a ton of "friends" mostly because I run a Natural Parents group and it has like 100+ members, and I've become close with a few...but when it boils down to it I don't have a BEST BEST BEST friend. Someone like a sister, or that my kids can call "Aunt" ( I had a few of those growing up... ) 

 

Is anyone else in the same boat? 

 

I had one really lovely friend but we had a falling out and are now going to re-build our friendship (at least I'm hoping) but most of the time it's my own family (my momma, my Dad) and my DH and the kids...but I do long for a female BFF. I just find that when it comes down to it the people I grow close with aren't who I expected them to be, or we clash etc. Maybe it's my issue. WHO KNOWS! 

 

I wish there were mom classifieds. 


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#2 of 16 Old 09-20-2012, 08:12 AM
 
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I'm right there with you. I have managed to call a friend in a family emergency to help out with ds while I attended to dd who was in the ER at the time, but I had tons of anxiety about that call.


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#3 of 16 Old 09-20-2012, 08:12 AM
 
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I don't have one single BFF type best friend either. I have a number of friends I could call, but no one like that, and I do know what you mean. It seems like it would be awesome, but I'm pretty scattered and I might not be able to put enough consistent attention into a relationship like that. I do with my husband obviously but we live together so there's no chance of neglecting him like I might with friends.
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#4 of 16 Old 09-20-2012, 08:41 AM
 
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I don't have a best friend, not even someone to call on. My few best friends are all in texas (where I used to live in high school) and they have their own lives to attend to. So, it's just me, DS, DBF, DBF's teenage niece, and DBF's dad here. I have always longed for a girl BFF to hang with sometimes and chat about girl stuff that DBF doesn't want to listen to. It also doesn't help that I am VERY shy IRL. Meeting other mamas is difficult. I wish there were mama classifieds too. LOL


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#5 of 16 Old 09-21-2012, 08:29 AM
 
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I just don't seem to form those kind of relationships.  Instead, I cast my net far and wide.  Most of my friends already have their own BFF.  Maybe I'm just not the BFF type.  Either way, I could still call one up in a pinch.  


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#6 of 16 Old 09-23-2012, 09:54 PM
 
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Originally Posted by SweetSilver View Post

I just don't seem to form those kind of relationships.  Instead, I cast my net far and wide.  Most of my friends already have their own BFF.  Maybe I'm just not the BFF type.  Either way, I could still call one up in a pinch.  

 

I feel somewhat the same way.  I don't have a BFF I could talk to about everything, you know? That kind of closeness is elusive for me.  But I do have a few good, very close friends I could call in case of trouble.    

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#7 of 16 Old 09-25-2012, 12:40 PM
 
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I'm in the same boat. I had a pretty good amount of friends when I moved to my current location 10 years ago - met through a mom's group. But that group and most of the friendships cooled and/or fizzled out once the kids started going to school (and all going to different schools). I still am pretty close to one mom, and our DDs are still close friends, and my DH and her husband get along really well too.

I made some friends with my DDs parents when she was in elementary school, but after my DS was born, and given that we didn't live too close, it was hard to maintain/enrich them. Poor DS too; most, if not all of his friends are in his preschool class (has none outside class, and none in our neighborhood - we live kind of rurally).

It was quite the sad realization that I had to struggle to find two, I mean *TWO* people I could list as emergency contacts for school. I have no family in the area, and my one friend doesn't live close and works full time as a teacher.

Becky, mom to two - DD ('00) and DS ('08)
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#8 of 16 Old 09-25-2012, 07:12 PM
 
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gosh i was thinking the same thing the other day when i was filling out an emergency card. 

 

no i dont have a best friend. i have very good friends - some who are now busy as new parents.

 

i have friends who consider me their good friend. 

 

but like those girly bf i have never really had them. instead i have best friends as males.

 

i am seen as a cool person, i am seen as a cool mom - but i am too open or radical for many. 

 

so i think i am going to have to accept that whilest i may have many good friends, none like a sister i long to have. 

 

however in an emergency i DO have people to call. 

 

as a single immigrant mother with no family many people have reached out to us and watch over us.


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#9 of 16 Old 09-25-2012, 07:28 PM
 
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It's funny because those I would or have called in an emergency are not folks I talk with regularly. Currently, I have one person I feel I could call, and he's male, and young enough that he could be my son. But I think he would help out if either I or my son called him. That's something to be thankful for.
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#10 of 16 Old 09-25-2012, 07:32 PM
 
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I feel the same and it used to bother me a lot. Now, I believe that I am in an alone place for a reason and have been doing a lot of personal growth. My DH an I are very close. We started a business about 6 years ago and it has left us little time for others except our two very young children. Eventually, I could see us socializing a little more, but it's just not where we're at now. I've always been sensitive and introverted and I'm beginning to accept that is who I am. Honestly, I don't have the energy for a super intense female friendship right now even though I think it'd be great to have more support and be able to provide it to someone else.
 

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#11 of 16 Old 09-25-2012, 07:40 PM
 
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DH is my best friend :) It took me a long time to figure that out. 

 

I have a "best" friend that I went to high school with and we still share so many interest, but we live totally different lives in different parts of the country.

 

I have a "best" friend that knows me inside and out emotionally but we dont hang out ever because we've had some big disagreements and have such major problems that it sucks too much energy out to keep up the relationship.

 

I have a "best" friend that has no kids, no husband, and no real responsibilites that keep her from being able to go out every night. Needless to say, we see each other every few months.

 

 

Other than that, I have lots of good friends, but none of them are the kind of running around with, cant imagine not going to the grocery store without, best friends I had when I was younger. I've really found that DH fills a lot of the roles that a best friend used to fill, which sometimes makes me feel really resentful- like I would still have best friends if it werent for him. But, I do like hanging out with him. 


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#12 of 16 Old 09-26-2012, 05:30 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama View Post

DH is my best friend :) It took me a long time to figure that out. 

 

I have a "best" friend that I went to high school with and we still share so many interest, but we live totally different lives in different parts of the country.

 

I have a "best" friend that knows me inside and out emotionally but we dont hang out ever because we've had some big disagreements and have such major problems that it sucks too much energy out to keep up the relationship.

 

I have a "best" friend that has no kids, no husband, and no real responsibilites that keep her from being able to go out every night. Needless to say, we see each other every few months.

 

 

Other than that, I have lots of good friends, but none of them are the kind of running around with, cant imagine not going to the grocery store without, best friends I had when I was younger. I've really found that DH fills a lot of the roles that a best friend used to fill, which sometimes makes me feel really resentful- like I would still have best friends if it werent for him. But, I do like hanging out with him. 

 



Oh yes. Long ago, I realized that DBF was my only best friend. I was okay with that until... I had a few conversations with him about "women" stuff. For example, when I was pregnant, I would talk about my downward regions (is that ...weird? lol) and he would say "I don't want to hear about that. Eww." He cringes at anything to do with the female anatomy down there. Then, I was like "well.... I need a girl friend to talk to." lol. Sometimes I forget and just blurt things out and he would be like "Eww...." with an awkward stare. Unless it is a medical emergency, I can't talk about that stuff with him. Oh well.

 

But when I have conversations with him about anything else, it is like we read each others mind. We can literally finish each others sentences. We have that connection. It's kind of funny because we are complete opposites but we really do enjoy each others company and love spending time with each other. smile.gif


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#13 of 16 Old 10-03-2012, 07:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Ah yes, my DH is my best friend too - lady part talk and all. He works from home and we are home a lot so we are basically together 24-7..and we've had our issues and hills to get over but in the end we are BFFS. But I wouldn't mind like one CLOSE girl-friend. One that I could tell things too and not feel...judged? 


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#14 of 16 Old 10-03-2012, 08:21 AM
 
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My husband is one of my best friends, but I don't have the same kinds of discussions with him that I have with my female friends.  I can have discussions with him that I often struggle to have with my female friends.  So there is balance there.

Currently, I don't have anyone I could call in the middle of the night.  This makes me a little sad, but it is what it is, and I am continuing to meet new people to love and adore... or not, and I'm closer to a state of contentment in terms of my local friendships that I have been in a long time.

My close friends are all very far away. 
 


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#15 of 16 Old 10-03-2012, 04:57 PM
 
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I have always been kind of a loner, no need for a circle of friends or even a BFF really. I just need my alone time so much that I don't want to feel obligated to call my BFF and chat for an hour b/c I haven't talked to her this week yet.

 

BUT it's different now that I'm married AND have kids. Maybe it's b/c I'm a SAHM and don't have a social outlet at an office job. I didn't seek out friends, they found me, through the kids, and I have a close friend in the neighborhood who I can call in an emergency and I am the emergency contact for her DD's school, mostly b/c we know and trust each other, but also b/c we live close to each other. I never wished I had it this way, but now I'm so glad I do! I highly recommend it. DH is my BFF, but sometimes I just need to talk to another woman instead of him. And some of my friends need to throw their DHs under a bus every now and then, and complain to me about how awful they have it with their hubbies. I'm okay with them venting, and sometimes I share a small frustration back. But mostly it makes me really appreciate DH in a way that I probably wouldn't if I didn't have this small glimpse into other people's private lives. Around here, everyone acts like life is perfect all the time. Kids never have tantrums, DHs never irritate them, etc. So when DH and I have an issue, or I have a hard day with the kids, we feel like we're failing somehow. Then friends call me up and complain about their DHs, and I never would have guessed that things were so tenuous between them. And I feel more normal. It feels kinda wrong to appreciate someone else's (private, no less) shortcomings, but it's not like I'm enjoying their discomfort; it's more about putting things in perspective.
 

Same thing with the kids -- it's one thing to come on here and get some great advice from others who've BTDT, but it's great to actually know the kids, see how perfect they are when they're with you, and then hear the horror stories from their mom. You'd never guess these sweet little angels were capable of such mischief, and it helps me remember that if those perfect little kids aren't so perfect, I shouldn't expect anything more from my own kids.

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#16 of 16 Old 10-03-2012, 07:44 PM
 
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Same boat but I'm not worrying too much about it..why? because sometimes people even you've been so close changes. And times flies, priorities changed, goals in life differs closeness to each other that is build before greatly changes. However; not all relationship changes, I have some few friends that I was not super close but we practically understand each other whom I know I can count on when time needed it.

 

In real life, I am somewhat a loner(if that is what you called a person that preferred to be alone that socialize even though they just want to be included in a group,.though I love chatting to REAL friends.) 

My sister(6), brother(2) and DH is whom I consider my Best friends.


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