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#301 of 385 Old 10-31-2012, 08:05 AM
 
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boo for long cycles. seriously. I hope mine holds off longer PP this time, though 5months isn't bad (better than some get).

 

Rash: glad it's better. I hope the stripping works. Norah had a yeast rash - large raised plains of redness - which cleared up in sposies, but then became blistery (while still in sposies). I put her back in cloth, and the blisters are slowly healing. We have good days and bad days. IDK what to do. I don't think it's diapers, maybe something she's eating?

 

and words! progress - and so cute!

 

Norah was saying more, but I think she's focused on her physical stuff, bc right now she's not saying as many things clearly. She was saying mama, dada, water, banana, up, and down . . .now it's mostly just mama, dada, and down.


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#302 of 385 Old 10-31-2012, 08:28 AM
 
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akind1, I'm so excited to hear whether the baby is a boy or girl. I know you are thinking boy, right? For some reason, I'm thinking girl. No clue why, that's just what I think whenever I think about you being pregnant.

 

Totally off topic but I was off work yesterday and had a bit of time to do some thinking. I came to the conclusion that I don't want to put Ava in preschool when she turns 2 or 3. I talked to DH about it last night and he agrees. I just started thinking about all the great programs we have access to like weekly library programs and there are great classes through the city rec program. Also the homeschool group is very active. I just can't imagine having her in preschool in the morning, then napping or resting in the afternoon and then I go to work. I'd hardly ever see her. So for now, I'm comfortable with that choice. We're going to start our first weekly class after Christmas. It's a weekly class for under 3s to move and do songs and dances. I'll start with that and see how she does. The city also has art classes for little ones and then after she turns 3, there are beginning ballet options or other movement classes. After Christmas, I'm also going to start doing a letter basket. It's a basket filled with items that start with the same letter and you put a foam letter in with the items so the toddler can play with them. At this age, I'll switch the items out every couple of weeks but as she gets older, I'll probably switch it out weekly.

 

I'm so excited for trick or treating tomorrow night! She had SUCH a good time doing it on Saturday afternoon. She's already eaten all the candy. How do kids know that candy wrappers have yummy things in them? Must be something subliminal in the packaging.

That makes sense to me. People keep asking us about preschool (montessori is like... some sort of family required cult like option here for DH's family), and I just keep saying that we'll see once we get there. If we're able, I'd rather do activites and playdates with her. If I find we're not doing as many activities as I thought, then yes, I"ll probably put her in playschool for the interaction, etc. 

 

We're going to try halloween tonight at my SIL's, there's going to be a small group of kids, so we figure we'll go to as many houses as she wants, and then head back to their house and hang out. 

 

 

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Bump pic! 

 

 

I hope Carrie is not without power for too long - she was able to FB briefly for an update yesterday, her house is fine, but without power. and it's cold! 

 

Felt baby from the outside last night - lots of good strong thumps. Such an active little nugget :love:

Love the bump! I Miss mine!!

 

 

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Nice, Kat! I love feeling those little thumps.
af.gif showed yesterday. Finally! 53 day cycle this time. It was 55 last time so maybe it's shortening.

Oh, and his rash is almost completely cleared up after 5 days of wearing sposies. I've been stripping my diapers. I hope it works. If the rash comes back after going back to my CDs I don't know what I'll do.

Blah. I've always had very regular cycles, and I was worried what they'd be like pp, but they've been pretty regular too. I think 40 days the first one, and then 32 or something, and then since then 28-30. Super normal, just a short LP, which is normal I guess. 

 

You use bamboo diapers usually, right? Could the moisture be bothering him? I noticed Tenley has gotten more sensitive to the wetness as she's gotten older. I think that's why she clears up so quickly in sposies, because it doesn't keep her bum wet. If I'm using the dipes as AI2s with the bamboo against her skin, I have to change her more often than if the diapers are stuffed and she has microfleece against her skin.

 

 

 

So, I think we've finally figured out how to cosleep comfortably!! I think the biggest thing has just been her getting older and "heartier" so we're not as worried about her in the bed, and making sure she's got enough space. And DH finally conceded part of his side too. Now we just kind of crowd into her. lol. However, since she's been in the bed more often, now she won't sleep at all if she's not with us-- either in bed, in the carrier or on a lap. It SUCKS. I need to get her back to being able to nap/start the night without us. And, she's still waking up sooo often. Last night was actually a pretty good night, I think she averaged wakeups every 2 hours. I went into the bed with her at 730, and just played on my laptop until around 830, and then I turned it off and played on my phone playing games until I finally fell asleep. It took forever for me to fall asleep, but she stayed a lot calmer with me in the bed. She slept from about 745 until almost 10, and then we settled her back to sleep until 11, when she nursed. And then nursed pretty much every two hours. Which is ok. I wish I had been able to fall asleep until than the 1030 or whatever I actually did. 

 

I love that DH loves cosleeping so much. Like literally he comes to bed, and she's sprawled across his side, and he just sits there grinning at her, and he's like "I love sleeping with her... I love having her here." and just snuggles in beside her. Me? I'm like *grumble grumble* bedhog. lol. Don't get me wrong, I love sleeping with her, but I miss my space and being able to move properly. 

 

 

My friend lost the baby. I don't know if it was a chosen termination or a loss from complications. I got the impression talking to her in the hospital that she didn't want people to know that she was thinking of termination, so I suspect it was a termination. She said she got to spend some time with him though, and they gave her a keepsake box with prints and things from him. I just feel so horrible for her. 


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#303 of 385 Old 10-31-2012, 08:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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JJ ~ I'm so sorry for your friend. I can only imagine how difficult that situation is.

Yay for good cosleeping!

I do not usually use bamboo. Actually, I've only got maybe 3 bamboo dipes left and I've only been using them as a last resort. I'm using a combo of hemp, cotton and pockets/ai2s with PUL. The rash is the worst after using the PUL pockets except for the Wonderoos at night. Those still seem to make it better, which is strange since he is in those the longest. The only thing I can think with that is that the suedecloth does something. I can't now remember what the other pockets are lined with. I have to change those more often than any others. At home he's diaper free as much as possible. Hmmm, so really maybe it's only the PUL during the day.

I'm sure you all know that I think preschool is unnecessary. winky.gif The idea that parents can't provide everything that their child needs is really sad, imo.

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#304 of 385 Old 10-31-2012, 09:24 AM
 
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JJ: that is sad for your friend. No matter if it was her decision or just what happened, it's still devastating.

 

Cosleeping. I love it. I really enjoy being snuggled next to a baby. However, I miss having sex in the bed. We used to be able to with her scooted to one side, or in the side car, but now she's sleeping horizontally (picture DH ---Norah--- Me) and sleeps to lightly to be moved. Soon she will be in her own big bed, likely on the floor, so we should get the bed back to ourselves, at least for a little while. And yes, being able to move freely is very, very nice. But I know we won't get these times for ever, so I'm trying to cherish. 

 

Does she wake up if you fall asleep with her and roll away once she's out?

 

MW: I love the microsuede cloth whatever it's called. Poo rolls off better and my kids always are less rashy with it. plain old microfleece just doesn't do as well. Not a big bamboo fleece fan either.I think it's better at moisture wicking, and the microfleece holds in heat more, or something.

 

I would only consider pre-school right now if 1) we had the money and 2) it was something DS would enjoy. mostly because with me working at home 4 days out of 5, it would be nice to not have him there on occasion. But I love being part of their day, it's why I do like to work from home. So, he's doing kindermusik on Monday's with DH, and we might try gymnastics or something good and physical next. He needs to use that energy. We also do playdates and stuff with the local AP groups, so he gets interaction. My mom is working with him on letters, which is ok. You know, he drew a B and an O the other day? and I don't know even why those particular letters. But hey, I thought that was nifty.


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#305 of 385 Old 10-31-2012, 12:25 PM
 
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Oh JJ. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend and her baby. I will keep them all in my thoughts. akind1, that's quite a bump! I don't remember you showing that much so soon with Norah! But your pregnancy is moving right along, at least in my mind! ;) Based on FB, Baby_Cakes is still without power. I fel so bad for them! My DH loves cosleeping too. Last night, he wanted to bring Ava in between us. I said no because she was snoozing fine in her sidecar. But she woke up early and DH said to her "I bet if Mama had let me bring you in bed to snuggle with us, you'd still be asleep!" Hahaha! Love that man! I don't mind bedsharing but I'm not going to risk waking an asleep baby!

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#306 of 385 Old 10-31-2012, 12:29 PM
 
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Preschool stuff. It's not that I think I can't provide what she needs but I always like to expose my kids to new experiences. If we did preschool, it would be Montessori. I don't have the room in my house to set up a Montessori-style play area and I do think there's value in that method. I just can't envision her going every day. I may change my mind when she's 3 or 4 and do 2 mornings a week or something. There is also a really great co-op preschool that requires parental participation. That may be a happy medium. Ava is just SUCH a social creature, I can see her getting bored with me.

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#307 of 385 Old 10-31-2012, 01:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Preschool stuff. It's not that I think I can't provide what she needs but

But that's the premise behind the idea of sending children to any school. It's the idea that the government and some people certified as teachers can provide our children with something that we as mere parents can't. The fact is that it's actually the opposite. The government and teachers and special schools and programs can only provide limited experiences that are contained within their program or curricula or facilities. Parents, a family, can provide unlimited experiences depending on what they are willing to do.

I went to a Montessori school for preschool. I think it's better than public school but it's still school. Montessori is actually a very strict program that does not allow for much flexibility if followed exactly. Of course, there are teachers who don't follow it exactly and who provide more flexibility but they still have their own agendas that may not fit with any one child's agenda. Just sayin'... winky.gif

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#308 of 385 Old 10-31-2012, 02:32 PM
 
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Popping in real quick, I have internet for a minute. We still don't have power. The destruction is unbelievable in my area. My heart is just so so heavy.

My friend lives in a shore town and I cannot get in touch with her. I'm worried sick. Her town, according to the news, is underwater and the boardwalk swept away. I have no idea if she is still pg, if she's ok. I'm worried so sick I can't stand it.

Otherwise we are doing ok. No power is kinda annoying but it's nothing compared to what others are dealing with. We have water, no heat, but plenty to eat and hanging out with my in laws during the day bc they amazingly somehow have power back.

This is epic.

I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

The gas stations are all closed and everyone is getting low on gas. No stores are open. It's bad, guys. Pray/think of everyone affected!!



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#309 of 385 Old 10-31-2012, 07:27 PM
 
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So glad to hear you have a warm place to go Baby_Cakes! I hope you hear from your friend soon!

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#310 of 385 Old 10-31-2012, 08:44 PM
 
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I do not usually use bamboo. Actually, I've only got maybe 3 bamboo dipes left and I've only been using them as a last resort. I'm using a combo of hemp, cotton and pockets/ai2s with PUL. The rash is the worst after using the PUL pockets except for the Wonderoos at night. Those still seem to make it better, which is strange since he is in those the longest. The only thing I can think with that is that the suedecloth does something. I can't now remember what the other pockets are lined with. I have to change those more often than any others. At home he's diaper free as much as possible. Hmmm, so really maybe it's only the PUL during the day.

Ahh, I think I was just thinking of your talking about wanting to use as much natural materials as possible and confused the two. Anyways, what I meant was the difference between a stay dry material or one which will keep the wetness against his skin. 

 

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Does she wake up if you fall asleep with her and roll away once she's out?

She'll only sleep for about 20 minutes once I leave the bed. It's fine if I need to grab a snack or something, but not enough to leave her to get anything actually done. And if she wakes up and I'm not there, she's almost impossible to get back to sleep, even if she's only been down for those 20 minutes. 

 

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Preschool stuff. It's not that I think I can't provide what she needs but I always like to expose my kids to new experiences. If we did preschool, it would be Montessori. I don't have the room in my house to set up a Montessori-style play area and I do think there's value in that method. I just can't envision her going every day. I may change my mind when she's 3 or 4 and do 2 mornings a week or something. There is also a really great co-op preschool that requires parental participation. That may be a happy medium. Ava is just SUCH a social creature, I can see her getting bored with me.

That's more what it is for me. Not the desire/need for her to -learn- things, but getting used to sharing, taking turns, using indoor voice, having a routine, etc etc. Things that if you're going to a lot of playdates (or have siblings), they learn anyways... but not if you're at home alone all the time, kwim? That's why for us it depends on how much we're still able to get out and make playdates and activities once she's older. 

 

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But that's the premise behind the idea of sending children to any school. It's the idea that the government and some people certified as teachers can provide our children with something that we as mere parents can't. The fact is that it's actually the opposite. The government and teachers and special schools and programs can only provide limited experiences that are contained within their program or curricula or facilities. Parents, a family, can provide unlimited experiences depending on what they are willing to do.
I went to a Montessori school for preschool. I think it's better than public school but it's still school. Montessori is actually a very strict program that does not allow for much flexibility if followed exactly. Of course, there are teachers who don't follow it exactly and who provide more flexibility but they still have their own agendas that may not fit with any one child's agenda. Just sayin'... winky.gif

I think that's different than preschool/play school though. Or I guess it depends who you talk to. Yes I suppose there are people out there who send their kids to these things so they can learn the ABCs and numbers etc, but I think a large proportion of people just want the interaction side of it. I think those are two totally different things/aims. 

 

That's what I thought about montessori too, but having looked into them more locally, that has not been my experience. They don't seem to be nearly as strict as people think. 

 

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Popping in real quick, I have internet for a minute. We still don't have power. The destruction is unbelievable in my area. My heart is just so so heavy.
My friend lives in a shore town and I cannot get in touch with her. I'm worried sick. Her town, according to the news, is underwater and the boardwalk swept away. I have no idea if she is still pg, if she's ok. I'm worried so sick I can't stand it.
Otherwise we are doing ok. No power is kinda annoying but it's nothing compared to what others are dealing with. We have water, no heat, but plenty to eat and hanging out with my in laws during the day bc they amazingly somehow have power back.
This is epic.
I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.
The gas stations are all closed and everyone is getting low on gas. No stores are open. It's bad, guys. Pray/think of everyone affected!!

Sent from my SGH-T999 using Tapatalk 2

Good to hear from you Carrie!! Keeping all of you in that area in our thoughts and prayers. I can't imagine being in the thick of it. It's horrifying enough being far away. 


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#311 of 385 Old 11-01-2012, 05:15 AM
 
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The main reason I like Montesorri as a learning experience is because the kids are kept in 3 year cycles, which makes it easier for the advanced kids to move ahead as needed, or the ones that need more time, the time to catch up. And the older/more advanced can help the younger/less advanced kids. Not to mention having the same teacher for 3 years is a good thing for a lot of kids that need that stability. IF my kids were going to do school, I like alot about the Montesorri approach. The centers for play and what not are carried over into a lot of other curricula too - it's not exclusively Montesorri (anymore).

 

As for the interaction, taking turns, etc - IF I had an only child, I'd be more apt to do more playdates and activites to get these. We still do as many as we can, because it's good for the kids to be with kids their own age (and older) and to interact with them. I think that's the biggest myth about home/unschooling - that kids arent socialized, or are more isolated, don't get to meet the variety of people, etc. That may be true for some people, but not across the board. There is a wide variation in our area of who homeschools here, and lots of homeschool groups. That's a great thing, IMHO.

 

Carrie - glad you are safe, and warm, and hoping your friend is ok as well. (maybe the drop in barometric pressure did something to start labor?)

 

JJ: boo for not staying asleep. Thankfully Norah does, generally, until she wakes and loses her paci. then she just needs it replaced.

 

The kids had fun trick or treating.


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#312 of 385 Old 11-01-2012, 07:39 AM - Thread Starter
 
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JJ ~ It's strange because the pockets that have the microfleece lining that's supposed to wick the moisture away are the ones that cause the rash to flare up the worst. I assumed it was the PUL outer that traps the moisture in but the Wonderoos pockets have the opposite effect. shrug.gif

Carrie ~ Glad things are slowly getting better. Thanks for keeping us updated.

Again, I think you all are assuming that just because you have an only child, that child can't/won't get the "socialization" she needs from within the family. You are all saying that, for one reason or another, you cannot provide your child with everything you think she needs. That's just not true. You are all fully capable.

Unless the family is highly dysfunctional, the can learn everything she needs to know at home, especially in the very early years. You have to learn to share and take turns and get along even with your family if you want peace. Presumably, the child would be included in every day activities like cooking and cleaning and shopping (waiting your turn, standing in line, being polite). Children can learn those things through life. They don't need any kind of school to learn those things. They are taught school rules and school socialization at school, which is not exactly the same as life rules and socialization. Schools were originally designed to train children to be productive factory workers, not thinkers and doers. They haven't changed in any significant way since the beginning.

Playschool and preschool are two different things, imo. If I were interested in a playschool type thing for my baby/toddler/young child, I would do a Mommy and Me type of thing once or maybe twice a week, if that. Storytime at the library would fill the bill, or a local playgroup.

Annie ~ I'd be shocked if you couldn't find a local AP group up there.

I don't buy into the whole ahead/on track/behind thing. That's based on some arbitrary agenda that some educators (or was it businessman back in the day) put together. Not everyone needs to know or do the same things at the same time or even ever. Most people today agree that it's not helpful or healthy to compare ourselves to others but then we send our children into a system that does just that. Everyone is right where she needs to be in that moment regardless of where anyone else is.

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#313 of 385 Old 11-01-2012, 09:37 AM
 
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both microfleece and suede cloth work to wick away moisture, it seems purely personal preference which works better. microfleece pills, and I think traps heat more against the skin than microsuede/suedecloth. (which could lead to more rash) some babies react to microfleece more than the suede. and vice versa.

 

Personally, I like the suede cloth better. It's smoother, less bulky, and seems to do a better job of wicking moisture, but might need stripping more often. smaller pores means it gets residue buildup faster.

 

Only children vs. Sibling groups  - I think more my point there is, IF I had an only child, I'd be more likely to try to get us out and involved with stuff than I do with siblings - because I do think learning to deal with children vs. adults is a good thing. A necessary life skill . . .  idk - I mean, one day they will all be adults.

 

As far as ahead/on target/behind . . . I don't know that the ages for things are arbitrary - just an average. Like growth, physical milestones, etc - and you will have kids ahead of the curve, behind the curve, and right on it in every example. Yes, the kid is where they are. Like anything, I think as long as your child is following their curve, so to speak, there isn't any reason for concern. If I had a child that seemed ahead of the curve, academically (reading early, doing "advanced" math, etc) and that child suddenly stalled, I'd look for reasons why that happened, and for methods to get them back on track. And if I had a kid that perhaps seemed a bit behind, and they suddenly caught up, or moved ahead of average, I'd want to take a look at what changed, and try to encourage more growth.

 

One of the big things I do not like about age based daycare is I've been told by parents (when I used to work in one) that their children didn't know how to interact with their siblings at home - because they never did in daycare, and everyone in daycare was about their same level. I think having a multi-age group where littles can learn from olders, and olders can re-inforce their learning and also pick up some skills in the areas of patience and teaching is a much better learning environment (because it's similiar to a real life home structure). So IF you need to, or want to, put your kids in a care setting, that's why I like the Montesorri stuff.

 

While I believe, as a parent, I am capable of leading, guiding, teaching all that my child needs - and I really think MOST parents possess this ability too, I totally understand that some parents may not want to, or perhaps just don't feel capable, or perhaps they do not have the time or resources to do it themselves. And maybe some kids may fare better in an environment away from parents. So, if they choose to send their kids to school, then that's ok. I don't think schools should not exist, but I do think, like our healthcare system, the public school system is very broken, and it's not something I really would choose for my kids to take part in.

 

I hope I'm coherent today. I am a little on edge - kids were driving me nuts, but they are now both asleep, thank God!


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#314 of 385 Old 11-01-2012, 10:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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The thing is that once you put a child in school or a program where there is a norm and an advanced and a behind, the children will pick up on those labels regardless of whether or not you think they mean anything. They will see some children getting extra help/attention because they are behind, some children being pretty much left on their own because they are right on track and some either getting more work/approval/attention/excitement for being advanced or else being bored and floundering.
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I totally understand that some parents may not want to...or perhaps they do not have the time or resources to do it themselves

This is an entirely different situation than thinking your child might get bored with you or won't learn everything they need to if they aren't in school. These are not situations that were brought up, I don't think. If you choose to put your child in school because you want them with someone else sometimes or want some time without them, that's fine, just say so. smile.gif And, of course, parents who are all working a lot and have to have someone else care for their children at least part of the time, again, isn't the same. That's a need. You can't leave your children unattended.

But, to put your child in preschool just because that's what everyone does or says you should do (because the real purpose of that is to get them prepared for school regardless of what anyone else says) is not a good reason, imo. Do it for your own valid reasons, not because you've (possibly unwittingly) fallen into the trap of believing that someone else can do a better job of giving your child what she needs than you can.

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#315 of 385 Old 11-01-2012, 10:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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And, by the way, I'm not talking about anyone on here. I'm just talking in general. I think a lot of parents just default to what everyone else does, put your 3 year old in preschool, without really thinking about it. Periodically, the age to start preschool is set younger and younger because children are supposedly still not properly prepared for school. That right there tells me there is something wrong with the idea that very young children need preschool. Maybe we should stop trying to separate our children from their parents earlier and earlier and let them stay and keep those bonds as long as possible. Give parents the resources and confidence to take care of their own children instead of making them feel like they aren't capable and need someone certified in something to do it for them.

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#316 of 385 Old 11-01-2012, 11:03 AM
 
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I like your last sentence a lot. most parents are lacking confidence.

 

Most of the people I know that use preschool are really honest about why - it's not just "because" it seems mostly because they need a break, or because they are working, and single, or something.

 

I hate the government's attitude of putting young (often "welfare") moms to work, rather than compensating them for staying home with their kids. A lot of people think that's just the moms way of riding the system (and that may be true in some cases) - but I don't see how it serves to take kids and shove them in a (usually subpar) daycare just for mom to work minimum wage. But that's another topic for another day.

 

I need a pick me up. wonder where the halloween candy went to . . .


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#317 of 385 Old 11-01-2012, 11:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Maybe it's the terms I'm getting hung up on. When Ryan was little I don't remember there being such a push for preschool. Rich, uppity New Yorkers who wanted their children to get into some exclusive private school would put their very young children in preschool. Otherwise, parents who worked put their young children in daycare. Now all the childcare places are calling themselves preschools like it's something special that very young children need when it's really not.

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#318 of 385 Old 11-01-2012, 11:56 AM
 
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We have "preschools" starting as young as about 18 months here, but from what I can tell, they don't do much more than a day care would - it's not really intense learning, or anything like that. once they hit 3-4, they introduce letters, numbers, shapes, and colors - but it doesn't seem to be really structured or intense. (still more than 3-5 y.o. "needs" IMHO) Gabe is picking up most of that just through our own interactions, TV, youTube, and grandma.

 

But, do they need to pick all that up, as early as 3? I don't think so, although for some things, like foriegn languages, the earlier you start, the more effective.


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#319 of 385 Old 11-01-2012, 02:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think parents have lost the confidence that they can educate their own children because we've been drilled for so many years that school is what we need to be successful. More and more people are finding that that is just not true and breaking away to do their own things.

So, there's an old man in our neighborhood who is handing out candy and money to the boys. He didn't pass out Halloween candy, though. I don't know him. A few of my nieghbors sort of know him but none well. I've told my boys to stay away from him. Just strange.

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#320 of 385 Old 11-01-2012, 03:59 PM
 
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I've been around a lot of parents and kids as both a preschool teacher and nanny and I've gotta say, there are some parents that just don't know how to deal with little kids. The kids are better off in daycare, preschool, public school, etc. Of course, that's just my opinion. But being around a grownup that knows how to gently mold and shape a wild animal (did I say that out loud?!?) in to being a considerate human is much better for some kids that being with their biological grownups day in and day out. I won't name any names but I deal with four such humans on a semi-regular basis. Public, standardized schooling is their haven.

 

Now as for Ava, I know that on the days that I've not had much sleep, she'd probably be better off with someone else that can stimulate her more but I still try to pull it together for her. But she has a variety of caregivers that all have different strengths. Oh, we hung out with a new babysitter today! I had spoken with her a few months ago and we really meshed well. She's like me in so many ways, especially parenting styles. Her little boy is 19 months old. So we went over there today and hung out for an hour. Ava had so much fun that she only came and got in my lap once the whole hour. Otherwise, she was playing and having so much fun. Miss K loves to do art projects so she had her up in the high chair painting a christmas ornament. Ava loved it! We're going back over tomorrow afternoon and I'm going to leave for like 20 minutes to see how she does and also to show her that I come back.

 

How did everyone's littles do ToTing last night? Ava loved it. She didn't want to stop! And the scary stuff made her laugh. She had the best time!
 


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#321 of 385 Old 11-01-2012, 04:04 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post

So, there's an old man in our neighborhood who is handing out candy and money to the boys. He didn't pass out Halloween candy, though. I don't know him. A few of my nieghbors sort of know him but none well. I've told my boys to stay away from him. Just strange.

Ugh. That's just weird. Definitely keep the boys away from him.


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#322 of 385 Old 11-01-2012, 05:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by AnnieA View Post

there are some parents that just don't know how to deal with little kids. The kids are better off in daycare, preschool, public school, etc.

Yeah, I get that. I was sort of that kind of parent when Ryan was young. I wouldn't necessarily say that he was better off in daycare and then school but I was not prepared to be a parent and I didn't want to be one in a lot of ways. However, looking back, I think if I had had the confidence I do now I could have prevented a lot of the school damage that was done to him. I don't think that applies to any of us here now. winky.gif I started thinking about homeschooling when I really started gaining that confidence as a person and a parent but it took me a few more years to make it happen.

Dylan seemed unimpressed with ToTing. He didn't seem scared of anything but he didn't smile or laugh about it. I think he was trying to figure it all out. He didn't walk. Rode in the stroller the whole time. He liked eating the candy afterward, though.

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#323 of 385 Old 11-01-2012, 06:55 PM
 
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Oh something else I was going to tell you guys. I went to get my hair cut (first time since December...yikes!) and the topic of me teaching NFP came up and I realized that I only have about 8-10 years of fertility left. Isn't that crazy to think about? Like it just hit me that I won't have to worry about getting pregnant for the rest of my life. Not sure why it never occurred to me before!


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#324 of 385 Old 11-01-2012, 06:59 PM
 
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Kat-- you're summing up really well most of my thoughts on the issue.  I don't like the idea that kids -have- to go to some sort of learning based group prior to starting their school, whether it be home or public, but I do think that some kids thrive in that environment, and there's a lot of benefit to the life based learning they get in that environment. But yes, I think you can also get that learning through playing at a park with other kids, or going to a gym class, or a playdate with friends or even just some good playing with siblings and relatives. But I do think it's harder to learn some of those social skills when your interaction comes only with siblings and relatives that you know really well already. 

 

Now... I feel like I should add that IF you know that your child does not do well in these public organized settings (I've seen kids that really honestly don't), then obviously, it's the wrong thing to push them to be in those settings. A parent knows their own child the best. 

 

 

MW-- Yeah, that man is creepy. 

 

Tenley didn't nap yesterday afternoon, so she was pretty much exhausted by the time we went out TOTing, but we went out with her cousins, and she did seem to have fun. She'd smile every time someone put something into her bag, and then look down in wonder at it, like "Whoaaaa, you gave me something??" 


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#325 of 385 Old 11-01-2012, 08:36 PM
 
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I so wish I could contribute to this preschool conversation!! But I just can't on this phone. I have so much to say and offer but not with one finger. Lol.
Our governor declared Halloween in NJ will be on Monday. I can't wait! I was really looking fwd. Hopefully we have power back by then. We are staying at my in laws until we do.
Thankful for generous family, seriously.
My "friend" who you guys know I've had issues with this past year, picked a ridiculous fight with me the day the hurricane hit us. After I told her we lost power, she retorted with some lame comment, trying to be funny. I didn't like it, and then she accused me of taking my stress out on her and said she was also stressed bc her daughter didn't nap that day. I lost cell service and couldn't continue the conversation, but I think it's for the best. I have nothing to say to her any more.
I hid her from my feed and let me tell you, that unfriend button was tempting.
We have been without power or heat now for 4 days and she has yet to contact me or even ask how we are. Yet she posts pics on fb and her life continues on. I'm hurt and mad, and mostly, done.


No Details, but my girlfriend had her baby. An update on fb is all I have. I'm desperate to know if she got her vbac.

Ok bedtime. Bbl!!







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#326 of 385 Old 11-02-2012, 04:05 AM
 
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Carrie - I saw your friend had her baby (bc you commented on it, LOL) And I'd love to know as well! Glad you are with family - that's the best place to be. Having been through hurricanes and power outages, After about 2 days, it's no longer an adventure, and just no fun.

 

Can't wait to see the kids in their getups on NJ Halloween!

 

MW: that is creepy.

 

Norah LOVED ToTing. Didn't carry her bag, but loved going up to the doors and having candy in hand. I think I only gave her goldfish though. I think. Not that she didn't try to eat all of it. She loved looking through her treasure at the end of the night. She walked as much as I let her.

 

Annie - some women are fertile until they are 50, are you sure you only have 10 years left?

 

DH has his vasectomy consult appt on Tuesday. I am sure it will be fine. I am definitely ready to be done.

 

Now, I am not opposed to adoption if we want to expand our family at some point in the future, or surrogacy if someone I knew wanted to go that route. I am looking forward to nursing this last baby as long as they want, and not being interrupted by pregnancy.


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#327 of 385 Old 11-02-2012, 12:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Cahrrie (had to type that because Ethan started to say Carrie the other day but corrected himself with the proper NJ dialect) ~ I'm glad you are safe and warm. Glad your GF and baby are safe and sound, too.

Annie ~ I'm wondering about the only 8-10 years of fertility left, too. I'm 10 years older than you and I still have about 8 years or so left, I believe.

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#328 of 385 Old 11-02-2012, 05:06 PM
 
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I was guesstimating the number of years based on when my mother went in to menopause. I guess theoretically I could have another 18 yrs or so. I've always wondered though if having a tubaligation can skew that. Anybody ever seen research on that? If permanent sterilization affects the timing of the end of menses?

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#329 of 385 Old 11-02-2012, 07:51 PM
 
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Ohhh mamas.  Bear with me...

 

‎5 days without power. 2nd night staying with my inlaws, 4th day hanging out with them. I adore them, I do, but I'm really starting to feel done with this whole situation. :-( 

My MIL wrapped her coffee table in beach towels and a table cloth so the kids don't scratch it. It's an improvement, b/c otherwise all she did was shout every time they touched it or heaven forbid drive a car on it.
My BIL joked that now he knows why I drink wine. And can't fathom how we had a 2nd kid. They are so much work all the time.



I've been on constant kid duty making sure they don't spill, drip, take food out of the kitchen, get into anything they shouldn't, or break/touch/destroy. It's exhausting.

And then.. today finally as we drove away from our cold dark house, (we went to gather a few more things, check the cats) still with no power (day 5) I just broke down into tears. All this sadness, all this destruction. All the horrific loss. People with no homes, lost family, lost CHILDREN. Babies strapped in carseats, swept away by storm surges. People drowning in their own homes.  Our shores are gone.  
And now they are rationing gas. We have 1/4 tank and can go on odd # days? How is this happening?
I'm overwhelmed. Completely overwhelmed. 
Then I look around and see how lucky we are and I feel so conflicted. How can I fucking complain???? I'm warm, I have my family, family who is generous and loves us...
And the tears start again. :-(
 
 
 
 
Not to be such a downer....but I think this is just starting to really get to me.  It's been constant go go go get thru this -- but in the quiet moments it just washes over me and I'm just so upset. 
 
 
 
 
 

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#330 of 385 Old 11-03-2012, 05:12 AM
 
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Oh my goodness Baby_Cakes! I want to just give you a hug! Prolonged stress like that will really beat you down. I know it's tough surrounded by so much destruction and sadness. But for your mental health, try to find something to laugh about. When Ava was in the hospital the first time and I was just shellshocked from the whole experience, the thing that saved my sanity was watching stand-up comedy specials on Netflix. I laughed and for an hour, forgot about the sadness I was surrounded by. It really helped.

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