Things our parents did to us... - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
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#61 of 119 Old 11-29-2012, 12:37 PM
 
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When I was little, my parents took one of the bench seats out of the van and put up the wooden playpen for the us to sit in.  At least we were contained and not roaming around the car! I clearly remember when the seat belt law in Michigan was enacted.  I was so bummed that we had to ride in the backseat and be belted!  So unfair!

 

I also remember riding in the back of a pick-up truck with a bunch of my cousins...once, a tree branch got one of the kids and she had a bloody nose.

 

I also remember walking or riding bikes about 2 miles to the nearest convenience store for candy at a very young age.

 

My mom also used rum as a teething remedy.  It really does seem to have been a pretty common treatment.

 

There are so many more! 
 


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#62 of 119 Old 11-29-2012, 01:16 PM
 
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Its hard to get over things you have experienced yourself. But for me those are 1 in a million scenarios. I personally was in a hostage situation as a young kid (6 years old I believe). It was TERRIFYING. But it was the estranged father of the family I was staying with, that's something that will probably never happen again to me or my son. And we were part of an attempted car jacking when I was older, but I don't remember that too well. 

The statics tics say that getting in your car is thousands of times more likely to harm your child than a stranger. Most kids who are abducted are taken by estranged family members. Stranger danger just ins't a real danger. If it is, then there are a lot more worse dangers out there like eating, sleeping, swimming, and driving.... 


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#63 of 119 Old 11-29-2012, 05:54 PM
 
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Actually, diphenhydramine/Benadryl was first developed as a sleep aid, not an antihistamine.

 

I'm still thinking about melatonin. In other countries it's available by prescription only, or isn't permitted at all.  My understanding is that the manufacturers recommend against giving it to children, though I know IRL it's considered mostly harmless.  It's a 'neurohormone' and being a new mom I would not have given my little one some hormone. Better to give my kid something manufactured and dosed specifically for children.

 

Our chiropractor recommends it for children's sleep issues but I never felt quite right about giving it to our son, 7yo.  I have taken it on occasion but when it wears off in the middle of the night, I regret taking it.

 

I feel,like dangers follow me and it has very much influenced how little I let our DS run free range.  Little kids lighting themselves on fire?:  Check!  I know two families that had kids with extremely burns from bizarre accidents.  Kids hit by cars crossing the street?  Check.   Death by a collapsed hole dug in the sand?  Yes.  Death via gunshot?  Sadly yes. Child died in a car accident due to not being properly restrained in a carseat? yes.  These weren't all close friends or family members but in a small town, it seems like every "oh, don't worry, it is a one in a million chance scenario" has happened here.

 

I used to think bike helmets for casual riding were bullsh_t until I watched a women fall off her bike in front of my country road house.  That sound will never leave me.  She sustained a horrible brain injury that will stay with her for the rest of her life.  All it took was a pebble to de-rail her life.  I don't mean to be alarmist but I am tired of seeing the worst come true.

 

I wish I could be more la-de-da about perceived dangers but I can't,

 

Coming back to add, on a somewhat lighter note - did anyone else live in an era where lice, worms, fleas, fungus, etc. was no big deal?  My mom was nutty about infestation but I knew many a family that didn't think lice was worth the couple of bucks to cure and pin worms were just a part of life, no need to go to the doctor.  I remember classmates with chronic sores on their faces and lice. My grandmother worked the lunch room and she used to talk about kids she wouldn't get near because the kids in "those families" always had lice.


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#64 of 119 Old 11-29-2012, 11:32 PM
 
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I use to ride on the back of my dads moped as an infant he had a milk crate he strapped to it and put a pillow in there for me to lay on. I rode with him on that moped till I was at last 12 ..... and my dad is legal considered blind is why he drove the moped instead of a car or truck. I Grew up on a farm in a town whose current population is 140 according to wikiapida. I ran around and spent most of my time out side playing in the dirt. I guess I was a free range kid lol. When we lived back east in a small town my kids spent a fair amount of time running around out side but now that I live in a big city I don't let them as much and think they miss it.

My sister who 15 years older than me use to go buy my mom and dad smokes and beer at as young as 7 but due to laws changing they couldn't do that with me lol.

I got coffee in my bottle as a baby because i was premuture and had an issue staying awake and alert for feedings.

 

A lot of the things i got by living in a small rural town I wish my kids could get LOL I had chores like hauling fire wood and picking veggies from the garden I would walk to my aunts house when ever I wanted since it was just down the dirt road (wasn't allowed on the big road) I would climb trees and play in the creek even.

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#65 of 119 Old 11-30-2012, 02:31 AM
 
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Our chiropractor recommends it for children's sleep issues but I never felt quite right about giving it to our son, 7yo.  I have taken it on occasion but when it wears off in the middle of the night, I regret taking it.

I feel,like dangers follow me and it has very much influenced how little I let our DS run free range.  Little kids lighting themselves on fire?:  Check!  I know two families that had kids with extremely burns from bizarre accidents.  Kids hit by cars crossing the street?  Check.   Death by a collapsed hole dug in the sand?  Yes.  Death via gunshot?  Sadly yes. Child died in a car accident due to not being properly restrained in a carseat? yes.  These weren't all close friends or family members but in a small town, it seems like every "oh, don't worry, it is a one in a million chance scenario" has happened here.

I used to think bike helmets for casual riding were bullsh_t until I watched a women fall off her bike in front of my country road house.  That sound will never leave me.  She sustained a horrible brain injury that will stay with her for the rest of her life.  All it took was a pebble to de-rail her life.  I don't mean to be alarmist but I am tired of seeing the worst come true.

I wish I could be more la-de-da about perceived dangers but I can't,

Coming back to add, on a somewhat lighter note - did anyone else live in an era where lice, worms, fleas, fungus, etc. was no big deal?  My mom was nutty about infestation but I knew many a family that didn't think lice was worth the couple of bucks to cure and pin worms were just a part of life, no need to go to the doctor.  I remember classmates with chronic sores on their faces and lice. My grandmother worked the lunch room and she used to talk about kids she wouldn't get near because the kids in "those families" always had lice.

I grew up poor white trash. I had head lice every few months. I was excessively prone to pink eye and ringworm.

My father and both brothers were hit by cars while riding bicycles. I was raped over and over for more than twenty years. I have been beaten up by more people than I can count. I have had police officers tell people I am just crazy and to ignore me when I have tried to prosecute in defense of myself. The youngest of my brothers was hit by a car while riding his bike across a major highway in southern California. I spent years living in the lobbies of long-term care hospitals. I was friends with a little girl who had polio- one of the last cases in our country.

The brother with the most severe brain injury? He died by burning himself alive behind the local grocery store. My father, by comparison, looked like a real chicken shit for sitting in the garage with the motor running.


I have had a life full of the worst things that can happen to a person. My life story really borders on impossible. But it happened. I am extremely Free Range with my kids. My paranoia will make it harder for them to learn actual survival skills. If I teach my kids to be helpless and dependent I don't see how I will be doing them any favors. If I had been less competent I would have died. My response is to want very competent children, I can't protect them from life. I can teach them skills consciously as early as possible.

My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.

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#66 of 119 Old 11-30-2012, 05:03 AM
 
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Potty chairs used to have SEAT BELTS!  I remember my younger siblings seat belted onto the potty chairs, wailing, and my mom yelling at them trying to make them 'go potty'.  She probably did the same to me, but I don't remember. 


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#67 of 119 Old 11-30-2012, 05:07 AM
 
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I have had a life full of the worst things that can happen to a person. My life story really borders on impossible. But it happened.

hug2.gif Hugs for (((rightkindofme))).  I believe you, I have the same kind of perspective on my life.  If I hadn't lived it myself, I might not believe my own stories. 


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#68 of 119 Old 11-30-2012, 06:37 AM
 
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just remembered something that i find SO silly now but that really really really upset me at the time

 

my mom had died and my dad had a girlfriend living with us (he eventually married her shortly before i turned 18 and kept living with her ... more years than he lived with my mom in fact, he pre-decesed her & she took care of him & we, sisters, didn't have anything to do, caring for him in his old age & sick years .... not that we could have because that person was stiring troubles most times ....)

 

my eldest sisters had NOT learned english as a first foreign language at school but still got to go on holidays in the UK when teenagers

i had choosen english as a first foreign language at at school so didn't think twice before mentionning during a meal that i too would like to follow suit

=> didn't expect it AT ALL , the massive amount of aggravation that simple utterance created on that day

basically, i didn't get to go ...;apparently a third world war was going to erupt (that was during the late seventies ....) and they wouldn't be able to rapatriate me

 

=> in the end, i did go, but the following holiday & my father came to see me discretly/in hiding of her, asked me to arrange everything and tell him the cost & he would give me a check for it, i was barely 16 but walked to the tourism office in my town, got some addresses, wrote for some brochures, choose a location and when it was all paid for and arranged, only then did "she" got to hear about it ...

 

which reminds me now, .... "she" had a massive fit when i announced in 7th grade that i wanted to take up ancient greek at school ...

luckily i was at boarding school in the next town, so "she" couldn't have a say in this decision ...

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#69 of 119 Old 11-30-2012, 06:46 AM
 
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hug2.gif Hugs for (((rightkindofme))).  I believe you, I have the same kind of perspective on my life.  If I hadn't lived it myself, I might not believe my own stories. 

*hugs* if you want them.

 

The best part of growing up is you get to change how your story goes. I like being an adult a lot.


My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.

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#70 of 119 Old 11-30-2012, 09:23 AM
 
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Its hard to get over things you have experienced yourself. But for me those are 1 in a million scenarios. I personally was in a hostage situation as a young kid (6 years old I believe). It was TERRIFYING. But it was the estranged father of the family I was staying with, that's something that will probably never happen again to me or my son. And we were part of an attempted car jacking when I was older, but I don't remember that too well. 


The statics tics say that getting in your car is thousands of times more likely to harm your child than a stranger. Most kids who are abducted are taken by estranged family members. Stranger danger just ins't a real danger. If it is, then there are a lot more worse dangers out there like eating, sleeping, swimming, and driving.... 

Russian roulette has more empty chambers than full, but the consequence is bad enough that I wouldn't want to take it. Some folks are more cautious, and take fewer risks. Stranger danger may not be common, but it is real!! Saying otherwise belittles those who worry about it, and detracts from the original purpose of this thread.

Let's get back to the game.
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#71 of 119 Old 11-30-2012, 11:46 AM
 
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Rightkindofme ...." the best part of growing up is you get to change how your story goes "

 

you sum it up so well !!!!

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#72 of 119 Old 11-30-2012, 11:04 PM
 
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Rightkindofme ...." the best part of growing up is you get to change how your story goes "

you sum it up so well !!!!

I don't have it in front of me but I once wrote a poem that likened the family tradition thing as an old quilt. We save the good pieces , pick out the bad and replace it with something better or at least neutral.
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#73 of 119 Old 11-30-2012, 11:31 PM
 
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I remember going away to the family farm for a holiday, mum borrowing poppa's car which had no seatbelts in the back, piling us in using a rope to tie me in.... just to be safe i guess eyesroll.gif and she tied my baby brother is using a large mans hanky! and off we drove for 4.5hours.....

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#74 of 119 Old 12-01-2012, 01:50 AM
 
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I grew up in Eastern Europe. Mom didn`t have any milk so she gave me cows milk mixed with russian tea (black tea) until someone told her to stop and give me formula. Remarkably I have no allergies and am as strong as it gets.

My aging, alcoholic Grandpa used to babysit me when I was about 2 years old while Mom worked. Mom would sometimes find me with suspiciously red cheeks. Yes, he`d been giving me wine.

winky.gif I do believe I turned out OK though:)


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#75 of 119 Old 12-01-2012, 04:21 AM
 
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When I was 8, my dad once gave me orange juice mixed with vodka since I had a cold. From I was about 11-12 my parents would give us red wine mixed with Coca Cola on special occasions. My sister were then 8 and 9 years old.

 

Our car didn't have seat belts, of course, and my dad said seat belts were dangerous if the car landed under water.

 

I was sent to the shop on my own (along a major trafficed road, but not crossing it) from I was 5 years old.

 

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My parents would also send me all alone on a plane across the country to visit my grandparents during the summer starting when I was about 7. The airlines still let you do this, but not with kids that young anymore. I had to wear a huge plastic tag around my neck saying I was alone so that the flight attendants could keep an eye on me.

 

They still do this where I live (Europe), the minimum age is five.

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#76 of 119 Old 12-01-2012, 07:50 AM
 
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My mom had a wooden paddle that was called "The Severe Action." She had its name painted on it in pretty letters and everything. I hated The Severe Action. greensad.gif

I just had a vision of what Pinterest would have looked like a generation ago. "How to paint a cute moniker on your corporal punishment weapon "

Let's see, I totally remember riding in the front seat of the car with no seatbelt at age ... must have been 4. My dad stopped abruptly and I flew into the windshield, making the coolest-looking spiderweb crack pattern. It didn't hurt a bit, somehow.

My dad also taught me how to roll joints at age 7. At first I was just in charge of licking and sealing the Zig Zags, but after a while I could roll too. Great for fine-motor practice!

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#77 of 119 Old 12-01-2012, 12:02 PM
 
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They still do this where I live (Europe), the minimum age is five.

They still do in the US, too. My kids fly all over the country by themselves to visit relatives every year. I did too, starting at age 5. Kids can fly with staff monitoring them, for an extra fee, starting at age 5. They can fly completely alone, for no extra charge, at age 12. At 12, some airlines just ticket them like adults and they can be the adult caring for younger children, too. This is how my children fly when they visit family. Ds has been the adult responsible for dd since he turned 12. Their half brother just turned 5 and being able to fly alone has allowed him to spend a TON more time with family. My kids have had mostly had direct flights. They just had their first layovers this summer (ages 13 and 11). I've told family members it's ok to make them change planes now, but only in a city where we have close friends or family that rescue them if something goes wrong. lol They're really excited about being able to change planes and hoping that will happen soon. They can be aghast at the things I let them do when they have kids of their own, if they want. =D


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#78 of 119 Old 12-01-2012, 12:47 PM
 
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Your story is cute, but im thinking if your dad let you drink beer, and drive a boat with low water with trees all around, that maybe he was drunk, or  at least a buzz on when he let you do some of that stuff!!  :-)  Not good, not bad, just a thought about how things used to be!  Remember, back when, parents prollly drove around more under the influence than they do now! 

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#79 of 119 Old 12-01-2012, 02:32 PM
 
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My mom also fed us formula (scientific = good, right?) and put rice cereal in my bottle at 4-6 weeks. She thought it was great because I'd sleep right through the night. And I remember lying down to sleep in the "way back" of the station wagon going 70 on the highway while my dad with poor night vision drove.

 

When I think about what my parents did that I really can't believe, though, it's mostly about sexism. Even though my mom was all into having me listen to Free to Be You and Me she was really conflicted about feminism. When I was a teenager in the late 80's I was forbidden to call a boy or ask a boy on a date. My mother had some bizarre theory that a boy might not feel comfortable saying no and go out with me AGAINST HIS WILL. Funny, I don't recall her ever being concerned about whether I felt comfortable saying no. 

 

I wasn't allowed to get a paper route like my brothers, even though I wanted one badly. I was encouraged to babysit instead, despite the fact that I had no experience with or particular interest in children. Here's a shocker: I earned way less than my brothers!

 

This crap has persisted into adulthood. When I was 25 I got accepted to graduate school and bought a house with my (then) husband the same week. When I called my parents to tell them all the news, my dad said, "that's great about the house, I don't know so much about the other." When my older brother went to graduate school, of course, they were ecstatic.

 

I could go on for pages--those are just some of the first examples to come to mind.

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#80 of 119 Old 12-01-2012, 08:00 PM
 
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Your story is cute, but im thinking if your dad let you drink beer, and drive a boat with low water with trees all around, that maybe he was drunk, or  at least a buzz on when he let you do some of that stuff!!  :-)  Not good, not bad, just a thought about how things used to be!  Remember, back when, parents prollly drove around more under the influence than they do now! 

No, he was just not All There.  He was an alcoholic, but he didn't really drink when we came to visit.  He went through some psychotic episodes earlier in the decade, struggled with drugs and alcohol.  Bipolar.  But when we visited, things were pretty straightforward.  No, I am afraid he pulled those stunts while (momentarily) sober.  Soooo glad I wasn't raised by him!

 

But you are right, driving drunk (or practically) used to be much more common when we were kids.  I can remember at least once when my stepdad shouldn't have been driving.  


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#81 of 119 Old 12-01-2012, 08:19 PM
 
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Green Betty, your story made me think of a song my dad taught my little sister and I when we were really small...

 

"We must, we must, improve our bust.  The bigger the better, the tighter the sweater we must improve our bust".  One sang the song while thrusting your elbows forward and back behind your back.  eyesroll.gif


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#82 of 119 Old 12-01-2012, 08:22 PM
 
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Green Betty, your story made me think of a song my dad taught my little sister and I when we were really small...

 

"We must, we must, improve our bust.  The bigger the better, the tighter the sweater we must improve our bust".  One sang the song while thrusting your elbows forward and back behind your back.  eyesroll.gif

"....the men will be rooting for us!"

 

Groan!


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#83 of 119 Old 12-02-2012, 09:52 AM
 
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I remember something that my foster mom and one of her friends did. Her and her friend came home from the bar, and they were drunk. It had been snowing, and the roads were slippery, so they came and got us, and they drove to an empty parking lot where they started doing doughnuts, and tipping the van. They thought it was hysterically funny. Me, not so much. (I was 15 or 16, and had I had any idea what they were planning/where they were going to take us, I would have tried to get them to let us stay home.) 


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#84 of 119 Old 12-02-2012, 12:01 PM
 
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There were so so many from my childhood. The scary thing is the things that everyone around me seems to think I should repeat with my child
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#85 of 119 Old 12-02-2012, 02:03 PM
 
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This wasn't from my childhood, but my Grandma once bragged that *she* never picked up and cuddled my mother when she was a baby.  She would never spoil her in such a way.

 

And I think to myself, No wonder my mom was so screwed up.  I think I had it bad with my mother, but she had a lot of Undoing to do.  I've ended up being thankful it was as good as it was.

 

Of course, I've mentioned in another thread before that when I got my period (or when she discovered I had my period) she walked into my room and threw a box of tampons and pads at me and stormed off.  I swear, she would have exploded before talking with me about this kind of stuff!


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#86 of 119 Old 12-04-2012, 12:20 PM
 
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Well, I think the reason why so many medications warn parents not to give to children to make them sleepy is because doctors used to tell parents to do just that. My oldest two daughters' pediatrician was a really nice guy. He started off in our town with a small practice and would take the time to talk to me and my husband and even once gave us his background story on why he became a doctor. I loved him. We were young and poor and he knew I couldn't afford some of the medications he'd prescribe so he'd give me samples instead. I know, they were meds but still, he was going out of his way to help out a poor teenage mom and I think that counts for something.

 

Anyway, when my oldest was little he told me the exact amount of extra cough syrup to give her so she'd "sleep better" at night. And when my second child was born, he'd prescribe the jumbo bottle of cough syrup so I had extra to give them both at night. Back then I did what the doctor told me to do simply because he told me to do it. So my babies got that larger dose at night.duh.gif

 

I now spend a lot of time apologizing to my oldest especially for the stupid advice I used to follow when she was a baby.

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#87 of 119 Old 12-04-2012, 01:15 PM
 
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Oh, and there are lots of things I remember my parents doing when I was a kid. One thing was we used to babysit my baby cousin a lot (this was in the late 80s early 90s) and I remember at least a couple of times where she got injured in the back of our car because she fell over while my mom was driving. Usually it was a bump on the head.

 

When I was a kid my grandpa always used to send me into the house to get him a beer. He and my uncles must've given me some before this particular memory because one time he sent me in for a beer and I told him I'd get it only if he agreed to let me have some. He did. I lived at his house until I was about 5 so I couldn't have been any older than that when it happened. My sister and I used to run wild all day on my grandpa's property unsupervised. I loved it. He had several acres with sheds, a chicken coop, tractors, old vehicles, trees, cactus, mean dogs, chickens and even a donkey for some years on his property and no one kept a close eye on us. My mom was single and worked lots of rotating shifts. I think she would've been really upset had she known how much time we spent unsupervised. I still don't think she realizes how much all that time we spent outside was really good for us.

 

Once she got remarried and we moved out of my grandpa's house she used to make us sit still and quiet and not go outside. Of course, my step-dad was even worse than my relatives at my grandpa's. We lived in apartments and he'd send us out to play until 10pm. He had no idea where we were or what we were doing. I'm really surprised nothing happened to us. I remember our neighbors back then were social and would invite kids into their apartments and stuff. One mom used to leave her little girl with me and my sister alone at the pool with not a single adult in sight and that little girl nearly drowned us several times a day because she couldn't swim. I could barely swim. The little girl was about 5 and I think I was 7 or 8 so my sister would've been 9 or 10. I guess her mom figured since she had arm floaties she'd be just fine.

 

My step-dad also used to leave us alone at night when my mom was working nights. He'd frequently come back a few minutes later to try to surprise us in case we'd gotten out of bed after he left. He'd get mad at my sister because she'd lock the door behind him and he'd have to find his key to get back in. One night, though, that locked door paid off. Some guy that was on something came pounding on the door, yelling and trying the door handle and then he tried to get in the window. My sister called our aunt and my aunt called the police but the guy left before anyone got there.
 

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#88 of 119 Old 12-04-2012, 01:37 PM
 
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Oh this reminds me of my MIL. I don't know why I ever listened to her but she'd tell me not to pick up my oldest because it'd spoil her. So I didn't and I really think it contributed to our lack of bonding when she was a baby. I was also to always have some background noise like the TV or radio on. She says she started doing that the day she brought her oldest home from the hospital and therefore her kids would sleep through anything. She goes on about vacuuming in my DH's room when he was a baby and he'd sleep right through it. Funny thing is every time we go to her house she complains about her oldest son waking up at the sound of her fork touching her plate and that she never ate a hot meal for.... who knows how long after he was born. Um... why didn't she just turn on the TV?lol.
 

What's super annoying about MIL is that she repeats these same stories every time we go to her house and she's been doing it since my oldest was born... 19 years ago. I understand that I was very young when DD was born but since then I've given birth to twice the number of babies MIL has so I guess you could say I actually outrank her with baby experience.

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#89 of 119 Old 12-04-2012, 04:05 PM
 
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This wasn't from my childhood, but my Grandma once bragged that *she* never picked up and cuddled my mother when she was a baby.  She would never spoil her in such a way.

And I think to myself, No wonder my mom was so screwed up.  I think I had it bad with my mother, but she had a lot of Undoing to do.  I've ended up being thankful it was as good as it was.

Of course, I've mentioned in another thread before that when I got my period (or when she discovered I had my period) she walked into my room and threw a box of tampons and pads at me and stormed off.  I swear, she would have exploded before talking with me about this kind of stuff!

My grandma said the same thing about my mom and my reaction was the same as yours, lol! But what I don't get is my grandma was a full time SAHM and my mom was her first (and only) baby. What else did she have to do except hold her baby???

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#90 of 119 Old 12-04-2012, 04:48 PM
 
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My grandma said the same thing about my mom and my reaction was the same as yours, lol! But what I don't get is my grandma was a full time SAHM and my mom was her first (and only) baby. What else did she have to do except hold her baby???

 

Ok, I held my baby a lot so my defensiveness isn't warranted but there were a couple of times when I sat the baby on a blanket in the middle of the floor and hid in the closet and cried because I couldn't handle the noise.

 

So maybe she was hiding in the closet. Who knows.


My advice may not be appropriate for you. That's ok. You are just fine how you are and I am the right kind of me.

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