Things our parents did to us... - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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#91 of 119 Old 12-04-2012, 07:19 PM
 
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We grew up with a station wagon and laid in the "back back" everywhere we went. It was fun.

We also roamed free in the nieghbourhood. I grew up in a large city.

I was almost kidnapped at age 6. But I was pretty street smart and instead of getting in the guys car I ran to a friends house and her older brother walked me home where my parent called the cops and I was able to give a description.

 

When we went for drives in the country my Dad would speed up and down the hills to give us a thrill. We loved how it felt when gravity hit after going 100 over a large hill.

 

We never wore seatbelts. Even when the cars had them. My parents still do not wear seatbelts.

 

When I was 1 yr old we got into a very bad car accident. It is a miracle that anyone survived. We got into a head on accident with a tractor trailer and were crushed in our car for hours while the fire department tried to free us. My mother was very badly injured, with a broken pelvis, broken hips, broken arms etc. She spent months in the hospital, over a year in a wheel chair and many more months learning to walk again. Us three kids were in the back seat. My parent put luggage on the floor with a blanket over it for a bed for us kids. My Dad says that I was actually asleep in the back window during the accident. Us three kids ended up being crushed between the back seat and the front seats and got out of the accident without a scratch or bruise.

Even after this accident, my parents still drove us all over the place without seatbelts.

 

We also drove in the backs of pick-up trucks.

 

My father liked to hunt, and I was shooting a 22 at beer can targets since about age 5 or 6. I was shooting a shot gun by age 10.

 

I retrieved beers for my Dad and company from an age too early to remember.

I went to the store for smokes for my parents from about age 5.

 

Since age 6, 8 and 9...us three kids were alone from 2 hours before waking until 3 hours after getting home from school.

We would make our own breakfast, get off to school, come home and make a snack and go out playing around the neighbourhood until supper time.

 

We rode public transit around the city alone from about age 8.

 

We drank milky tea from about age 1. My gran or Mum would just mix 3/4 milk and 1/4 tea in the baby bottle for us to drink.

 

And a common treatment for a cold and sore throat was black coffee with a half shot of rum in it.


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#92 of 119 Old 12-04-2012, 10:58 PM
 
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I have been laughing aloud as I read some of these!  Too funny.

 

I remember my brother and I riding in the back of a pick-up from southern Alabama to St Louis, MO one summer.  I remember thinking it would be a great adventure.  It was so loud we couldn't talk, it was too windy to play cards, and I got a wicked sunburn (no sunscreen of course). 

 

I remember driving my dad home from the bar (I was 'nearly driving anyway' he said.  I think I was 13yo.)

 

I remember taking apart old lawnmowers and bicycles and such and building go-carts.  Building ramps and jumps in the Alabama red clay.  No helmets.

 

Later when my parents divorced and mama and I moved into an apartment complex (around 7-8 yo) I used to pull my wagon around and wash peoples cars or sell lemonade or rake leaves.  I would go into each apt building and knock on random peoples' doors and ask them if they could use my services (ie. whatever I was selling at the time). 

 

I also ran pretty free as a kid.  I hope that my DS is able to experience a similar freedom.  Although I can't imagine allowing kids do some of the stuff I recall doing.  But maybe it was more that I was "getting away with something" rather than "being allowed" in the first place!

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#93 of 119 Old 12-05-2012, 08:25 AM
 
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My grandma said the same thing about my mom and my reaction was the same as yours, lol! But what I don't get is my grandma was a full time SAHM and my mom was her first (and only) baby. What else did she have to do except hold her baby???

It was the advice of the moment.  The point was not to spoil your baby by cuddling or holding them too much.  I think the Dr. Spock phenomenon was in direct response to the advice given to my grandmother's generation.

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Ok, I held my baby a lot so my defensiveness isn't warranted but there were a couple of times when I sat the baby on a blanket in the middle of the floor and hid in the closet and cried because I couldn't handle the noise.

 

So maybe she was hiding in the closet. Who knows.

I wouldn't be surprised if most if not all of us had a moment or several like this.  And I'm sure my grandmother had her moments in that closet as well.  But no, you weren't supposed to cuddle with your children.  This advice did not stop at simply not picking them up when they were crying.  No. Cuddling.  Ever.  (Well, according to my grandmother--"ever".)


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#94 of 119 Old 12-05-2012, 08:41 AM
 
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I retrieved beers for my Dad and company from an age too early to remember.

I went to the store for smokes for my parents from about age 5.

 

 

Ha! Who didn't?

 

My BFF uncle had a beer tap system in the basement.  His house was always full of people, drinking beer and playing cards.  He had a set of beer mugs with bicycle bells on the handle and when anyone needed a beer, they would ring the bell and the kids (always a lot of kids there) would race to fill the empty mug.  Our "pay" was to be able to drink a couple of sips of beer.

 

I have no idea why they didn't have pitchers for the beer.  And more importantly, why they thought it was perfectly fine for 9-12 yo to drink rather large amounts of beer over the course of a typical Saturday night.

 

I had my first mixed drink at that house when I was 15yo.  It was vodka and oj.  I felt terribly grown up.


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#95 of 119 Old 12-05-2012, 08:44 AM
 
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Originally Posted by colsxjack View Post

 

I went to the store for smokes for my parents from about age 5.

 

 

This was very common when I was a child (70s).  I can remember my uncle sending us (the cousins) several blocks away and across a major road.  We were 5-7yo at the time. 


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#96 of 119 Old 12-05-2012, 09:27 AM
 
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I remember driving my dad home from the bar (I was 'nearly driving anyway' he said.  I think I was 13yo.)

 

Well, at least he wasn't driving drunk I guess!

 

The first time my sister drove it was on the highway (just a 2 lane highway mind you) a distance of about 50km.  My dad was her "teacher".  He fell asleep half way through the drive! lol.  Not that he was drinking or anything (my dad doesn't drink) but what kind of supervision is that?? I guess my sister seemed like a capable driver or he wouldn't have relaxed enough to fall asleep!


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#97 of 119 Old 12-05-2012, 09:49 AM
 
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I have no idea why they didn't have pitchers for the beer.  And more importantly, why they thought it was perfectly fine for 9-12 yo to drink rather large amounts of beer over the course of a typical Saturday night.
 

 

Try 18 months old.  I remember my cousin, with his toddler son on his lap, letting him have sips of beer from the can during lunch.  And then the toddler slumped on dad's shoulder, fast asleep, and everyone laughed and thought it was so cute.  Mind you, I was maybe 5 years old and my perception is probably flawed. Toddler likely had a full stomach and was ready for a nap anyway.


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#98 of 119 Old 12-22-2012, 04:51 PM
 
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I rode on the roof of our station wagon, hanging on to the rack, for about 2 miles into town. Curvy back roads, 25 miles per hour. I was 13. I just thought my mom was being nice. It was the early eighties.

Kids. I got two of 'em.
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#99 of 119 Old 12-22-2012, 09:29 PM
 
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I rode on the roof of our station wagon, hanging on to the rack, for about 2 miles into town. Curvy back roads, 25 miles per hour. I was 13. I just thought my mom was being nice. It was the early eighties.


We did that too. In the late 60's. I had forgotten about that!


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#100 of 119 Old 12-23-2012, 02:46 PM
 
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So fun. I feel bad for my kids we are so protective.

Kids. I got two of 'em.
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#101 of 119 Old 12-24-2012, 11:12 AM
 
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I rode on the roof of our station wagon, hanging on to the rack, for about 2 miles into town. Curvy back roads, 25 miles per hour. I was 13. I just thought my mom was being nice. It was the early eighties.


Oh wow. After reading this I remembered that my husband did this with our oldest daughter. I think she was about 14 at the time. He had his old kayak strapped to the roof of his Jeep and he told her to climb up in the kayak and pretend to paddle while he slowly drove her around. Thankfully it was in a parking lot where there was very little traffic. I'm surprised they even told me about it but maybe they told me because we lived in a very small town at the time and they did it in front of our church so they figured it'd get back to me anyway.lol.

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#102 of 119 Old 12-28-2012, 01:13 PM
 
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I was not in a carseat at all as a kid, but my Mom is totally cool with all the new carseat/booster/etc. stuff now for kids thank goodness! It just wasn't a thing back then. We did always have to wear our seatbelts if we had enough seatbelts to go around, sometimes we didn't when loading up the van/car with a bunch of family.

I think my grandparents/parents/aunt&uncles still do the get me a beer from the fridge and you can have a sip. I don't think it is that big of a deal, but who knows, I'm sure I'm making people cringe with this one smile.gif

No one wore bike helmets, I remember when I first started seeing those regularly on kids I was so confused. I know better now.

Not sure when I was started on solids, but I'm sure 4 months at the latest. Again though, my Mom is cool with the latest research. She is great about that. I think I was BF for a little while, but I know I got formula too as there was talk about heating up bottles of formula (in the microwave eyesroll.gif ). I've never asked for specifics, but any BFing at that time was pretty great so I give my Mom props for that. My younger cousins were all BF so I have lots of memories of seeing babies BF which was nice as lot of women in my generation don't have that.

I walked to school by myself from the beginning (Mom went with me the first day or week or whatever), it was close (down our short road and down another short road) and I didn't have to cross any streets, but still, I don't think any kids that young walk to school ever nowadays. I don't think the schools would allow it!

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#103 of 119 Old 12-28-2012, 04:11 PM
 
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I too am 'younger' in that the majority of the 80s are a blur to me, LOL.

 

My parents were pretty confused. A lot of the things they did were AP-ish, but, growing up in the decidedly ultra-traditional-parenting 80s and 90s, they were also heavily swayed by popular methods and even went massively overboard in that direction on occasion.

 

My mom would regularly keep me up all day and all night for a full 24 hour cycle in an effort to make me a morning person. Like she'd keep me awake and then finally let me sleep at 6PM, so that I'd be awake by 6AM when she wanted to wake up, rather than my natural pattern of staying up late and waking up late. This was from the time I was a newborn through 6th grade.

 

Biggest and worst thing was that my parents put me on heavy meds at age 6 for bi-polar depression because I was so exhausted (gee, I wonder why!?) and sleeping so little that my nerves were completely fried. I would go into crying fits, rages, couldn't function in school, couldn't get along with other kids. I was on them until I was 12 and refused to take them. I started cheeking them that year and miraculously showed no symptoms at all of bi-polar or depression. Confronted them 6 months later and told them that I hadn't ingested a pill in months. They've still never apologized or admitted wrongdoing, but they did acknowledge that the psychiatrist who put me on all that stuff was, in hindsight, looking for a star case to present. And he did. The guy is still publishing last I checked and he made a great deal of a name for himself by publishing papers on the diagnoses of bipolar in prepubescent children and then "curing" an insane child with a cocktail of Zoloft, Tegretol and Buspar... yes, all at the same time.

 

SMH. 80s and 90s parents LOVED medication, I'm coming to realize. 00s parents a little less so, and I think for many of children born toward the end of the 00's and the beginning of the 10s now, there's a much greater distrust of these shrinks (as there should be) and of medicating children heavily in order to control them. But starting with people about my age through current late-elementary aged kids, there's going to be an entire generation raised on drugs.

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#104 of 119 Old 01-06-2013, 12:09 PM
 
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I was born in 1977.My mom(she was 19) was knocked out when I was born,she doesn't remember much.She was given a shot to "dry up her milk" and had breast cancer at the age of 46,I'm wondering if that had something to do with it.The hospital didn't even give her the option to breast feed, this was just done!When I was about a week old,my mom switched me to whole milk,because she said formula wasn't enough for me,I was drinking more than 8 ounces! Umm,I know now formula has more calories than milk,plus other nutrients that a baby needs.I'm sure that contributed to my weight and other health issues!

 

From the time I was about a year old,I would ask my dad if I could play with the seeds from his pot lol! He gave them to me of course! I would go in the desk in his room and take the empty film canisters he used to store the pot and smell them.I still love the smell of weed lol.It just reminds me of home,being a kid. I think it should be legal,not for kids of course,but regulated like alcohol(which I've seen destroy so many lives,I've never seen weed do that,but anyway).

 

I used to walk to school from 1st grade on,most of the time I would come home to an empty apartment because both of my parents were at work.I roamed the neighborhood alone from then on,I would go everywhere.I was attacked by other kids, chased by someone through the small area of woods behind my house, the boy upstairs used to hurt me,he held me at knife point in his room,hit me across the back with a bike chain,a car tried to run my friend and I over,so much happened but I did have so much fun! We found a way under the sidewalk at my friend's house,used to hold secret meetings there lol. We found a hidden room in the attic of my apartment house,it was very creepy lol. I could never imagine my kids doing this stuff,even now that they both have cell phones!I do wish they could have experienced the great times I had though.

 

My mom used to hit me with a wooden spoon,omg did that hurt! She would slap me across the face all the time,my mouth would bleed a lot.I had my mouth washed out with soap.She liked to pull my hair quite a bit. My dad still has that spoon,I don't even want to look at it,I really don't think he knew about the things my mom did to me,he was working a lot.She had a lot of issues,and wonders why I preferred to live with my dad when they separated when I was 15!I will never hit my kids.I had a lot of issues in school starting in 7th grade,and all my mom would do was hit and scream at me,never bothered to really find out what was going on.She did bring me to a psychiatrist,who put me and my dad on meds,my mom made herself out to be a perfect mother and wife in front of the dr.She also put me in a group home,and 2 hospitals.My dad would have taken me out,but she wouldn't let him.My teenage years sucked lol.

 

I moved out right after my 18th birthday,into my own apartment.Those were some of the best years of my life!

 

My ex had so many things happen to him as a kid.He was beat with hot wheels tracks,spoons,anything his mom would grab.He had hot sauce poured in his mouth,his father would beat him,his step mother even locked him in a doghouse! He would take off for weeks and no one cared,he was living in the woods at 15.His step father made him drink a 6 pack of beer because he stole a sip of one,at 6 years old!! He was forced to smoke pack after pack of cigarettes until he puked,after he was caught smoking,I think he said he was about 9.His father told him when he turned 18,good now I don't have to pay child support or bother with him anymore.And they wonder why he's a homeless alcoholic smoker now.He has never layed a hand on our kids,but he doesn't pay child support and he's hurt them emotionally many times. :( It's just so sad,he can be a great person when he's sober.

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#105 of 119 Old 01-06-2013, 12:35 PM
 
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my mom gave me pepsi in a bottle when I was about two months old. she was at a fair and said soda was cheaper than water


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#106 of 119 Old 01-06-2013, 07:16 PM
 
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my mom gave me pepsi in a bottle when I was about two months old. she was at a fair and said soda was cheaper than water

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#107 of 119 Old 01-07-2013, 10:10 AM
 
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lol I was pretty horrified to hear it but she didn't think it was a big deal


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#108 of 119 Old 01-07-2013, 11:12 AM
 
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When I was a kid it wasn't benadryl given to make us sleep, it was gravol! '

To be fair, I don't really think my mum did this but it was joked about a lot, so I'm not sure.


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#109 of 119 Old 01-07-2013, 06:52 PM
 
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I still love the smell of weed lol.It just reminds me of home,being a kid.

 

I love it!  ROTFLMAO.gif


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#110 of 119 Old 01-12-2013, 06:21 AM
 
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I wish some attitudes would return...like letting kids wander around neighborhoods or ride trains and busses alone. Our society is obsessively paranoid about kids doing things alone. I'm looking forward to sending our young son out on his own, after teaching him common sense safety skills.

oh, and talking to strangers. I hope my son will enjoy talking to strangers of all types (but never ever go anywhere with one!!)
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#111 of 119 Old 01-12-2013, 06:36 AM
 
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I wish some attitudes would return...like letting kids wander around neighborhoods or ride trains and busses alone. Our society is obsessively paranoid about kids doing things alone. I'm looking forward to sending our young son out on his own, after teaching him common sense safety skills.

oh, and talking to strangers. I hope my son will enjoy talking to strangers of all types (but never ever go anywhere with one!!)
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I wish some attitudes would return...like letting kids wander around neighborhoods or ride trains and busses alone. Our society is obsessively paranoid about kids doing things alone. I'm looking forward to sending our young son out on his own, after teaching him common sense safety skills.

oh, and talking to strangers. I hope my son will enjoy talking to strangers of all types (but never ever go anywhere with one!!)

I think this was possible because society's structure was different. Adults accepted more responsibilty for children in their vicinity. This is no longer the case. Probably because of a fear of being sued, at least in part. Until the previous attitude returns, it is not as safe to give children independence. And *that* is a loss for both the children and the adults.
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#112 of 119 Old 01-12-2013, 10:52 AM
 
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It also depends where you live. We chose the town we live in now , in part, because there is so much more freedom. Kids do wander around alone here. Not just in town, either. Preteens and up often go hiking in the forest alone. Teens go camping. Older teens go hunting. My homeschoolers don't even get questioned when they're out during school hours. The schools have open campuses and it is just assumed that they don't have class, if they aren't in one. The homecoming parade through downtown featured pickup trucks with loads of kids piled in the back, and that's not uncommon in general. It's very "early 80's small town" in culture and attitudes around here. I keep waiting for the Russians to attack! lol


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#113 of 119 Old 01-12-2013, 02:17 PM
 
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I agree where you live is important in terms of free ranging. The car centric suburbs can be challenging. When we lived in Boston I remember seeing the young kids on the subway and walking around Back Bay and thinking how fun city life must be for kids. The suburb where I grew up was sidewalk free. Kind of a bummer!

, getting kinda ot here.
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#114 of 119 Old 01-12-2013, 02:19 PM
 
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Also, didn't all of our parents put us down to sleep on our tummies! Back is best wasn't a thing yet I guess. Maybe parents back then were smart enough to realize that newborns $&$# hate being on their backs!
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#115 of 119 Old 01-12-2013, 08:26 PM
 
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Also, didn't all of our parents put us down to sleep on our tummies! Back is best wasn't a thing yet I guess. Maybe parents back then were smart enough to realize that newborns $&$#&# hate being on their backs!


I think that they avoided backs so that babies wouldn't choke if they spit up? I could be completely wrong, but I think I remember that being a big deal when they started the back to sleep thing.

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#116 of 119 Old 01-14-2013, 10:56 AM
 
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Crazy thing is, that you know that in another 20-30 years or so, what we're doing now will look just as insane. "OMG! My parents used to let me play outside without an RFID tracking device or bodyguard drone! Crazy...."

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#117 of 119 Old 01-14-2013, 11:53 AM
 
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Crazy thing is, that you know that in another 20-30 years or so, what we're doing now will look just as insane. "OMG! My parents used to let me play outside without an RFID tracking device or bodyguard drone! Crazy...."

 

LOL 

 

I'm going to be one of the awful grandparents always telling them to just let the kids go be kids, for goodness sake. You ate dirt and you turned out just fine! He'll be just fine, too. ;)


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#118 of 119 Old 01-15-2013, 07:09 AM
 
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It also depends where you live. We chose the town we live in now , in part, because there is so much more freedom. Kids do wander around alone here. Not just in town, either. Preteens and up often go hiking in the forest alone. Teens go camping. Older teens go hunting. My homeschoolers don't even get questioned when they're out during school hours. The schools have open campuses and it is just assumed that they don't have class, if they aren't in one. The homecoming parade through downtown featured pickup trucks with loads of kids piled in the back, and that's not uncommon in general. It's very "early 80's small town" in culture and attitudes around here. I keep waiting for the Russians to attack! lol

 

OMG!  What an awesome pop culture reference!  I loved that movie, the original, not the remake.  The pick-up truck driving, rifle-totting actors where like every guy I went to high school with.   The high school building even looked like my high school.

 

Agree it depends on where you live.  I live in a small (and what I consider to be safe) town but one almost never sees a little kid riding their bike alone.  On the rare occasion I see a sub-3rd grader walking to or from school alone, it surprises me.

 

On the other hand, my country relatives think I am crazy for not letting DS do a lot of things that they consider normal. 


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#119 of 119 Old 01-15-2013, 09:26 AM
 
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I see little kids walking, but not biking...but that's because almost no one has bikes. lol The hardware store has a few, but otherwise they'd have to drive about 2.5 hrs through the mountains to buy one. We're in a small logging town in Oregon. It's totally normal to see a group of young men with rifles drive through town in the back of a pickup truck. This time of year, especially, it really does feel a lot like we're living in Red Dawn. lol 

 

My family tells a story about how I wandered out of the house when I was a toddler. Maybe 18 months. Everyone finds it perfectly normal that my SAHM would have been that unaware of what I was up to during the day when the other kids were at school. Apparently, I went out the front door, crossed a busy street, and was found wandering around the cemetery across the street. The care taker went door to door through the neighborhood, asking if anyone had lost a child. My mom didn't even know I was missing until she saw me at the door with him. 


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