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#361 of 380 Old 01-06-2013, 01:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I totally agree and this is one of the big reasons why I love going to talk to a priest w/DH. He listens better to men. eyesroll.gif

That's why I've been trying to encourage my dh to talk to a Chaplain. Not only is it a man but also a man who knows how the Marine Corps works and has experienced deployments and possibly war first-hand. I think a Chaplain could understand any issues Sean has with that more than anyone else. He seems very reluctant to do that but he is willing to see a civilian counselor.

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#362 of 380 Old 01-06-2013, 01:35 PM
 
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That's why I've been trying to encourage my dh to talk to a Chaplain. Not only is it a man but also a man who knows how the Marine Corps works and has experienced deployments and possibly war first-hand. I think a Chaplain could understand any issues Sean has with that more than anyone else. He seems very reluctant to do that but he is willing to see a civilian counselor.


Wonder why he's reluctant. My DH's favorite priest to talk to is a former Navy Chaplain that spent 30 yrs dealing with Marines. There's literally nothing you can say that would shock him. Nothing. Maybe he's concerned that it wouldn't be totally private? Do Chaplains have to report things if told to them in confidence?


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#363 of 380 Old 01-06-2013, 04:06 PM
 
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Hmm, maybe it's a case of not wanting to shit where he eats.  Maybe he is angry about some stuff that goes on within the marines and doesn't want to confess that to someone involved?  Idk, I'm reaching.  It does seem odd.

 

Lauri - so true about watching our tone.  I catch myself talking to DH in such a nasty way sometimes!  I have to remember that it goes all ways - I have to at least give my relationship with my DH the same amount of effort I put into the relationships with my kids. 

AFM - I'm so sick and I just want to be alone!!!  Ugh.  I'm going away for a week so nobody can bother me. winky.gif  Other than that nothing new.  


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#364 of 380 Old 01-06-2013, 07:03 PM
 
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But he pointed out to me one time that the way I was speaking to him was not a way I would talk to the kids and certainly wasn't a way I wanted them to speak to each other or us so I really needed to work on that. And he's right. Even if he does stuff that I think is stupid, he's still a human, he's still the kids' dad and I need to afford him a certain level of respect, especially when speaking to him in front of the kids.

So true. We talk a lot as parents about how our children deserve our respect, and how their people too, and need to be treated well, but then we treat our spouses like crap. We would -flip- if someone talked to our children that way, but see it as ok to use those words/tones to speak to our husbands, and yes, often in front of our kids. It disrupts their relationship with the kids and undermines them, and shows them that we think of them as less than people, especially when we make such a big deal out of how people talk to our children, and that everyone should be equals. 

 

 

Busy weekend here, but good. Went shopping this morning for groceries and took the tree down. Instead of moving the furniture back in, we're going to use the corner as a toy corner. It's nice because it's half tucked away behind the couch, so I think the room will look cleaner and less cluttered. 

 

Ten has had such an explosion of language and development lately. It's crazy watching her change everyday. She's expressing herself so much, she's picked up a handful of new words and signs the past week, and has been acting more like a little girl. It's so weird!  She's also been trying to put herself to bed most nights- she'll nurse and then reach for the bed, and smile when I lay her down and kiss her cheek. I stay in the room while she falls asleep, and it's so cute to watch her lift her head up every few minutes to watch for me, see me, and then grin sleepily and put her head back down and close her eyes. I love it. 


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#365 of 380 Old 01-07-2013, 04:38 AM
 
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Been following along, mostly mobile, so I doubt I'll remember everything.

 

I hope everyone's marriages gets back in a good place, with counseling, or whatever. MW: you have an appointment this afternoon evening? Carrie - hope you and Chris find a solution that works.

 

JJ: the developmentental spurts are amazing aren't they? and challenging!

 

We have been struck by the tummy bug this weekend, except for DH, but he's recovering from his vasectomy, so none of us is 100%. The kids seem fine except for diarrhea. I'm ok, I think, except for the same. Have my rescheduled appt this morning, woot.  Nothing much else is new. I hate when we are all sick. I hate when any of us are sick. It needs to go away!


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#366 of 380 Old 01-07-2013, 09:39 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Kat ~ Glad everyone is feeling better. Sickness is never any fun.

JJ ~ It's amazing how they grow in leaps and bounds. I've been wondering at how grown up Dylan seems lately.

I asked dh yesterday why he's resistant about talking with a Chaplain. He said because they all talk to each other. It's supposed to be confidential unless someone is a danger to himself or others. We were told when dh first joined the Marine Corps that the Chaplain was the only person who was completely confidential. I guess they have their religious/confession type rules as well as legal rules about confidentiality. I told dh that even if they do talk to each other, they should never identify anyone. He kind of shrugged. I understand his trepidation but, like you said Annie, they've heard all kinds of things and we don't have anything really serious going on. It's not like we have illegal activity or abuse or child neglect issues. I think it's pretty normal relationship problems.

I must have missed a post somewhere because I didn't see the one from Annie about how we talk to each other. I am guilty of being nasty to dh. I know it and I want to change it but it's like my mouth has a mind of it's own sometimes. I can't deal with stupid very well. I can understand making a mistake once but if you've been shown, asked and then told how to do it differently many, many times and you continue to do the same stupid thing over and over and then act like you don't understand what the problem is, I lose it. eyesroll.gif

Like my girl, Sunshine, having a baby at 18/19 and single with no real way to support herself much less the baby. I can understand making that mistake once. Shoot, I did it myself. But she's now 7 months pregnant, again, single, again, and is still working only one minimum wage job. WTH? She's not stupid but then she is. It's not that hard to prevent a pregnancy, people! Only one person has to make an effort.

An example from my dh, last night I was brushing my teeth for bed. Kellen was getting hyper as he always does right at bedtime. Sean was standing in the middle of the room just telling him to stop, stop, STOP!, but not actually doing anything except getting more and more aggravated. He had the TV on ESPN. I didn't say anything. When I finished brushing my teeth, I scooped Kellen up, carried him into the other room and talked to him about how he has to be considerate of the rest of us at bedtime or he won't be able to sleep with us. It took maybe 5 minutes. Then we went back in the other room, settled down pretty well, and went to sleep, no more major issues.

I've done that numerous times in front of dh. I've told him I don't know how many times that he has to get up, go to Kellen, get and hold his attention and stay with him until he actually does whatever it is. You can't ask Kellen to get dressed or brush his teeth and then walk away and expect it to be done. He gets distracted too easily. I asked Kellen the other day why he gets so distracted and why he's so squirmy/hyper. He said, "I'm five. What do you think?" lol.gif DH never gets it and we're working on kid #4 here. Fine, you're not going to get it. Then don't get all pissy when I tell you that you don't get it. eyesroll.gif

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#367 of 380 Old 01-07-2013, 10:21 AM
 
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Yes, thank God, we are feeling better. Kids are still cranky and clingy.

 

I couldn't PIAC at the OB this morning. Oh well. A friend had a successful VBAC this weekend - so happy for her! she taught a CD class in the morning, and had the baby 3 hours later. Thrilled. I need to get on the ball and get this baby's stuff together. I don't feel prepared. I need time. was going to do some this weekend, but sickness derailed us. oh well.

 

This baby is so active - a good thing, but exhausting.

 

talking to DH's. . . . I don't think I'm every downright nasty. Sarcastic? yeah . . . but generally not mean. But I'm not mean to anybody (to their face. I admit to saying some very unkind things about my sister. But I think generally they are honest things, LOL). I think when it comes to our spouses sometimes, they are the one person we don't censor ourselves with, which can be both good and bad.

 

Stupid people - yes, they are hard to deal with. it's one thing for them to be peripheral  - like Sunshine  - her stupidity likely doesn't directly affect you and yours. Sean's though? whether it's intellectual or emotional stupidity - it's hard having to live with that - it DOES affect you and the boys. You want to be able to respect your husband. I know you are not a religious person, but I think that's why husbands are told to love their wives (because they tend to be selfish creatures who forget), and women are told to respect their husbands (not because we are really meant to be subordinate, submissive nimwits) - but because men really are that stupid in some areas that respect is what comes hard. It's easy to love them. Respect is harder, and it's what they crave more than love.

 

I have less than 2 weeks until my maternity pictures! and a mama baby blessing! I am excited about both.


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#368 of 380 Old 01-07-2013, 11:00 AM
 
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I wish I could take a sick day!!  Ugh, this cold is AWFUL!!!  

 

Diapers are drying, towels are washing, sheets are next.  I feel like I still need to keep my routine at least a bit.  I hate being sick!!  I'm willing to let the toy mess pile up but I can't skip over my weekly chores.  Otherwise playing catch up will kill me next week!  I still have to wipe down the bathroom and at least fold a bin of clean laundry.


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#369 of 380 Old 01-07-2013, 05:02 PM
 
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I think that's why husbands are told to love their wives (because they tend to be selfish creatures who forget), and women are told to respect their husbands (not because we are really meant to be subordinate, submissive nimwits) - but because men really are that stupid in some areas that respect is what comes hard. It's easy to love them. Respect is harder, and it's what they crave more than love.

ROTFLMAO.gifI think that is the best explanation of that verse I've ever seen. And so totally true.

 

A friend from church just announced that she's pregnant and I'm having serious baby-envy. And I'm in my LP so I know it's not pre-O hormones...yikes!
 


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#370 of 380 Old 01-07-2013, 06:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Kat ~ That made me laugh, too. That's a great way of describing it. I'm glad I'm not the only one who had issues with that. Makes me feel like it's not too big of a deal. KWIM?

counseling went well, I think. I did more laughing than com plaining and felt lighter when we left. the counselor said we had very common problems, especially with military couples. whew! she said they are fixable. I liked that she asked us what the other could do to make us feel supported. I felt like that was a step toward actually doing something rather than just talking about it. I spent four years or so talking about stuff with a marriage therapist and never got anywhere. she never asked me what would make me feel better or worse. anyway, happy about that.

Carrie, I think to asked what I do about childcare. a friend watched my kids. I didn't tell her it was for counseling. I used the refi as an excuse. If this becomes regular, I will probably have to tell her the truth. If we can keep Monday night's, Ryan might be able to babysit a lot.

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#371 of 380 Old 01-07-2013, 08:11 PM
 
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counseling went well, I think. I did more laughing than com plaining and felt lighter when we left. the counselor said we had very common problems, especially with military couples. whew! she said they are fixable. I liked that she asked us what the other could do to make us feel supported. I felt like that was a step toward actually doing something rather than just talking about it. I spent four years or so talking about stuff with a marriage therapist and never got anywhere. she never asked me what would make me feel better or worse. anyway, happy about that.

I'm glad it went well for you guys! Keep thinking positive. You guys can do this. 


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#372 of 380 Old 01-07-2013, 08:45 PM
 
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Kat ~ That made me laugh, too. That's a great way of describing it. I'm glad I'm not the only one who had issues with that. Makes me feel like it's not too big of a deal. KWIM?
counseling went well, I think. I did more laughing than com plaining and felt lighter when we left. the counselor said we had very common problems, especially with military couples. whew! she said they are fixable. I liked that she asked us what the other could do to make us feel supported. I felt like that was a step toward actually doing something rather than just talking about it. I spent four years or so talking about stuff with a marriage therapist and never got anywhere. she never asked me what would make me feel better or worse. anyway, happy about that.
Carrie, I think to asked what I do about childcare. a friend watched my kids. I didn't tell her it was for counseling. I used the refi as an excuse. If this becomes regular, I will probably have to tell her the truth. If we can keep Monday night's, Ryan might be able to babysit a lot.


SO glad it went well! Do you guys have plans to go back again soon?


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#373 of 380 Old 01-08-2013, 04:23 AM
 
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MW: I'm glad to hear good news! I hope it can become a regular thing, and that the counselor and you clicked.

 

I am so tired. I need to talk to DH  . . . nothing big, but since his vasectomy, he's been letting me fall asleep with Gabe, and I would still like some grown up time. He used to make sure I'd wake up so we could maybe DTD before bed. He's still in recoup mode, so I don't know if he's just tired himself, or sees no point? I haven't watched grown up TV or eaten icecream since his surgery, bc I can't stay awake. Granted, I've also been down with this damn bug, so maybe I'll be able to wake my own self up. Gabe was soooo restless last night! he was bouncing, and usually he's not THAT wired at bedtime.

 

I tell you, this month is screaming by. I need to figure out a timeline to get things done before this baby is born. I keep putting it off, assuming I have time, and that's just not true. Two IRL friends had babies this weekend, and one is scheduled for induction tomorrow. Her pregnancy has been HELL. major hyper emesis - she's STILL on a Zofran pump - GD with insulin. It's her second pregnancy, and likely her last. I think they might adopt in the future. I am so eager to meet her little one, and I know she's eager to move on from pregnancy. One friend had a quick, easy VBAC, the other had an emergency c-section due to abruptrion, but baby seems to be doing well in NICU. Just shows the gamut of stuff that *can* happen. good and bad. Anyway . . . Yeah. I need to wash clothes, organize kids rooms, fold existing laundry, put out an ISO of the remaining clothes I need, I want some NB AIO diapers, I found a WAHM brand I like that's really reasonable. I need to finish paying my doula, pay for my maternity pictures .. .*sigh* I'm not stressed, but maybe I should be.

 

Carrie: Are you feeling any better?

 

JJ: how's Tenley doing? still leaps and bounds?

 

EuroMama - havent' heard from you in a while.

 

Annie? Laurie? . . . .


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#374 of 380 Old 01-08-2013, 05:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Carrie ~ If you are sick, rest! The more you rest the sooner you'll get really better. Can't Chris help with your chores while you are down?

Kat ~ I hear you on this month flying by. It's already almost Ethan's birthday this Sunday! Do you need any boy stuff? I have a ton! (hmm...I've been trying to get this stuff out of my house forever. Maybe I'll just send it all to you and let you deal with. Mwahahaha winky.gif)

As usual, it has sneaked up on me even though I've been reminding myself of it since before Christmas. There is nothing to do in this town in the winter, nowhere to have a cool party for a 9 year old. My friend came up with the idea of a Lego party so we are going with that. She found some pics of some really cool cakes. I posted the one Ethan wants on my Facebook so I would remember and could show it to bakers on my phone. No one in this lame town does fondant! How can you bake specialty cakes and not do fondant? They also don't do specially shaped cakes or tiered cakes. WTH?! But, we may be saved. I forgot that Sean worked in a bakery for several years as a teenager. We're going to try to make it ourselves. Eeek! He came up with the idea of making a rectangular cake and putting a bunch of upside down cupcake bottoms around the cake like the pegs on a lego block. So easy! I found out you can buy sheets of already made and colored fondant at Michael's Craft Store. The only problem is that it doesn't taste very good. But, Sean looked some things up yesterday and said you are supposed to put buttercream frosting on the cake before putting the fondant on, so that should make it taste ok.

I still need to get to TRU and the party supply store to see if I can find Lego plates, cups, decorations and a pinata. I'm excited about it all now. Yesterday, I was upset that I had, again, waited too long and couldn't find anywhere to have a party. If this goes well, maybe most of our parties will be at home from now on. smile.gif

Kellen has been really hyper at night the past 3 or 4 nights, too. I don't know what that's about. He's always full of energy but these past few days he has been out of control. I was awake at 7:30 this morning because he peed on me in his sleep! He has peed in his pants several times in the past couple of days because he's been so busy playing that he didn't want to stop to go to the bathroom. He peed in his pants at the bakery yesterday even though there was a bathroom right there. When I asked him why he didn't tell me he had to go he just shrugged. Sean said he's becoming more and more like Ryan and that is so true. Ryan wet the bed sometimes until he was 9 or 10 years old.

Yes, we are seeing the counselor again Monday and then Tuesday of the following week because she's not working on MLK, Jr. day. After that we will, hopefully, see her every Monday night regularly. I've seen her before. She's the counselor I went to a few times right after having Dylan. I think we'll be ok with her. She did give me a funny look when I told her the story about not going to the Marine Corps Ball because Dylan was/is still nursing. But, all she said about that was to ask if I never pumped and gave a bottle, to which I said I don't. If she asks more, I'll just explain how it works to her. winky.gif

I think it was really good for Sean to hear from a 3rd party who sees a lot of single and married Marines that our issues are normal for the Marine Corps. and having to go through multiple deployments, especially longer ones like he has had to do. I've been telling him that since he came home after Kellen was born but he wouldn't accept it. He always took it as me attacking the Marine Corps. He still doesn't understand me much, which is really frustrating because I'm not a wishy-washy, guess what I'm thinking kind of person. I tell it like it is but he seems to not believe that. He thinks he has to interpret some hidden message but there isn't one.

It was kind of funny on the drive home because I asked what he thought of it. He said he thought it was a good start. He said one of the main things he got out of it was to learn how I really felt. Um, I've been telling him how I really feel for years now, but ok. So, what new thing did he learn about how I feel? He said that I think of myself as solely a mother because I said that is who I am. Again, um, no, I never said that. What I said was that being a mother is a very big part of who I am right now. That's a perfect example of him trying to interpret what I've said and making it something that it's not. Maybe it's because I said that it's my job and him refusing to do something with the kids the way I do it is like me going to his office and doing his job and telling him to piss off when he tells me that they don't do things that way but they do them this way instead. His job, his title, is who he is. He doesn't work for the Marine Corps. He is a Marine. So maybe the work analogy that I used made him think that I thought of myself as only what I do for my "work".

Also, I've been telling him stuff like that forever. I have always said if I am ever put in a situation where I have to chose what's best for my kids or something, I will choose my kids every time. It started with him becoming Ryan's stepfather. I told him straight up that if he ever put me in a position where I felt I had to choose between the two of them, I would choose Ryan. I told him that was about abuse situations but he took that to me for any little thing. Again, him trying to interpret what I mean instead of just taking my words at face value.

So, the last thing I told him is that maybe he should take whatever he thinks I have meant and tell himself that it's wrong and throw that idea out the window and then think about what's left. lol.gif Kind of like me deciding right before I met him that since I always seemed to choose idiot men that I would run the opposite direction from any man that I was immediately attracted to and go for the guy who seemed nice but didn't necessarily get my motor running right away. My first choice was obviously not the best one so I needed to throw those out.

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#375 of 380 Old 01-08-2013, 02:46 PM
 
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It is always funny how we hear and interpret things our partners say. We put our own internal spin on things, even when it doesn't need to be there. I'm glad you guys had a good experience.

 

Ethan's birthday sounds fun! I tried to do a lego cake for DSS 12's birthday one year but I couldn't figure out how to do the raised pieces. I ended up just stacking cake pieces and I bought a Lego Star Wars kit and put it together to put on the cake. The 8 yr old boys all loved it. Have you guys ever done a party at Jump In Jax? One of my friends just had her little boy's birthday party there last weekend and she posted pics on her FB. It looks like a lot of fun. They have a toddler area and then an area for older kids. The age range at his b-day party was 2 to teen and everyone looked like they were enjoying themselves. May be an option if you've never tried it.

 

I don't know whether Ava's issues right now are teeth or the abx aren't helping her ear. Ugh. She keeps her hand in her mouth pretty much the whole day. I called the nurse last night because even after she had had ibuprofen, she was still screaming for DH. He got her settled and to bed so the nurse said wait to see how she was this morning. She was happy and smiley until about lunchtime then started getting crabby. Ugh. I don't know. And this waking at 3 or 4 AM and wanting to play crap is going to drive me bonkers. But she's WIDE awake. I just don't get it. She was totally happy as long as I wasn't trying to keep her in bed.


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#376 of 380 Old 01-08-2013, 07:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ethan's birthday sounds fun! I tried to do a lego cake for DSS 12's birthday one year but I couldn't figure out how to do the raised pieces. I ended up just stacking cake pieces and I bought a Lego Star Wars kit and put it together to put on the cake. The 8 yr old boys all loved it. Have you guys ever done a party at Jump In Jax? One of my friends just had her little boy's birthday party there last weekend and she posted pics on her FB. It looks like a lot of fun. They have a toddler area and then an area for older kids. The age range at his b-day party was 2 to teen and everyone looked like they were enjoying themselves. May be an option if you've never tried it.

I have been to Jump In Jax. I'm not a fan. I don't think it's very well supervised. The last time we were there Kellen smashed his mouth into Ethan's head because he went down a slide too soon after Ethan went down and bounced up and they bonked. That wouldn't concern me too much because stuff happens except that when I looked around I noticed there was no one who worked there watching any of the bouncers or supervising when kids could go on things. While I think that a lot of that should be the parents' responsibility, the place has some liability in that and should provide a safe environment in the same way that lifeguards at the pool man the slides and diving boards. It was impossible for me to keep track of everyone in there.
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Originally Posted by AnnieA View Post

I don't know whether Ava's issues right now are teeth or the abx aren't helping her ear. Ugh. She keeps her hand in her mouth pretty much the whole day. I called the nurse last night because even after she had had ibuprofen, she was still screaming for DH. He got her settled and to bed so the nurse said wait to see how she was this morning. She was happy and smiley until about lunchtime then started getting crabby. Ugh. I don't know. And this waking at 3 or 4 AM and wanting to play crap is going to drive me bonkers. But she's WIDE awake. I just don't get it. She was totally happy as long as I wasn't trying to keep her in bed.

Poor little thing. I would think, if it was teething, the ibuprofen would help. You could try some warm olive oil in her ears. That is supposed to be soothing. Warm olive oil with garlic is even better. Most of the time, ear infections don't require abx. The abx may be making her feel bad, too. I got sick from abx the last time I took them and had to stop before I finished.

It is funny in way how others interpret what we say. However, when you've been with someone for 13 years it seems to me they should have figured out that no interpretation is needed. eyesroll.gif As I've been thinking about things I've been having not getting really annoyed at all the things that he still does not get. I am really shocked that he would say he finally knows how I feel. I'm not one to hide or disguise how I feel or expect the other person to read my mind. I am very open and honest and blunt about it, maybe too much so. I think he's stuck in the idea that women don't say straight out what they really want or feel and it's up to the man to try to figure it out and isn't thinking of me as the person and individual. I am not like that. Anyway...

I know I've been complaining about him a lot. I'm really not complaining so much as just trying to get things off my chest. I feel like I need to be completely honest and tell someone what I'm really thinking and feeling. If I can get it out of my head, it seems to dissipate faster. If I keep it inside because I don't want to sound like I'm always bitching about my husband or whatever, it festers. I do appreciate you all letting me put all of this out there.

A friend of mine on Facebook posted a link to a blog post about how someone had had a good marriage for 15 years or something like that. She had a list of 10 things to do or not do to keep your marriage good. I didn't agree with everything but there was one thing about having a husband pact with girlfriends that I really liked. The idea was to have at least one girlfriend to whom you could complain about your husband without her judging or trying to fix things and her understanding a week later when you are back to all love and giggles with the same man you were ready to kill before. I loved that. smile.gif

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#377 of 380 Old 01-08-2013, 08:14 PM
 
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I know I've been complaining about him a lot. I'm really not complaining so much as just trying to get things off my chest. I feel like I need to be completely honest and tell someone what I'm really thinking and feeling. If I can get it out of my head, it seems to dissipate faster. If I keep it inside because I don't want to sound like I'm always bitching about my husband or whatever, it festers. I do appreciate you all letting me put all of this out there.

A friend of mine on Facebook posted a link to a blog post about how someone had had a good marriage for 15 years or something like that. She had a list of 10 things to do or not do to keep your marriage good. I didn't agree with everything but there was one thing about having a husband pact with girlfriends that I really liked. The idea was to have at least one girlfriend to whom you could complain about your husband without her judging or trying to fix things and her understanding a week later when you are back to all love and giggles with the same man you were ready to kill before. I loved that. smile.gif

I totally get that. I really do. And I'm happy that we're here to hold that space with you so that you know that you are being heard and that your frustration is a real thing. I think we all know that you do love your DH just as he loves you and the boys. We've met him, remember? Unless he's the world's greatest actor, he's a devoted and caring father, albeit not the most observant. winky.gif Vent away.

 

I called DH on my dinner break and Ava was totally fine except she was pissed that I was interrupting the start of  "BUBBLE", her new word for bath. So she doesn't appear to be in pain. She has her 18 month WBV next Friday so unless she's totally acting out of sorts, I'll just have her regular pedi give her ears the once over when we are there for that.

 

Talk to me about hand washing and hand sanitizer. I see people on FB and in real life washing the crap out of their hands and their kids' hands as well as using hand sanitizer. This may sound super gross but a lot of days, the only time Ava's hands get washed are when she's in the bathtub, even when we are out shopping, etc. I have a half-baked idea that excessive handwashing and hand sanitizing can actually make people sick. Am I totally off base here? Ava is hardly sick compared to my nieces or other kids I know here locally. Is it just chance?


Annie wife v2.0 to DH and joyfully parenting DSS 18 jog.gif, DSD 15 knit.gif, DSD 14 banana.gif, DSS 12bikenew.gifand heart hero DD 2superhero.gif. angel1.gif 8/2010

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#378 of 380 Old 01-08-2013, 08:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by AnnieA View Post

I totally get that. I really do. And I'm happy that we're here to hold that space with you so that you know that you are being heard and that your frustration is a real thing. I think we all know that you do love your DH just as he loves you and the boys. We've met him, remember? Unless he's the world's greatest actor, he's a devoted and caring father, albeit not the most observant. winky.gif Vent away.

Thank you for that. You don't know how good it makes feel for someone else to say that they see how Sean cares for us. Sometimes I get so caught up in the little things that I don't see that.
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I called DH on my dinner break and Ava was totally fine except she was pissed that I was interrupting the start of  "BUBBLE", her new word for bath. So she doesn't appear to be in pain. She has her 18 month WBV next Friday so unless she's totally acting out of sorts, I'll just have her regular pedi give her ears the once over when we are there for that.

Talk to me about hand washing and hand sanitizer. I see people on FB and in real life washing the crap out of their hands and their kids' hands as well as using hand sanitizer. This may sound super gross but a lot of days, the only time Ava's hands get washed are when she's in the bathtub, even when we are out shopping, etc. I have a half-baked idea that excessive handwashing and hand sanitizing can actually make people sick. Am I totally off base here? Ava is hardly sick compared to my nieces or other kids I know here locally. Is it just chance?

Glad Ava seems to be doing better. I love that she got mad that you interrupted her bubble bath. I would me bad, too. winky.gif

I only wash Dylan's hands when he gets something on them like ketchup or ranch dressing. I do wipe them periodically when I change him if he sticks his fingers in his butt. We never use hand sanitizer. I refuse. I wash my hands after using the bathroom and other times when I feel like they are dirty, like when cooking or after doing laundry if I feel like I got detergent on them. I tell Ethan and Kellen to wash their hands after using the toilet and before eating or handling food. I think Ethan is pretty good about that, at least the bathroom thing. Kellen, not so much.

I do think hand washing is important but not a gazillion times a day. Only when hands are dirty. I think using hand sanitizer is completely unnecessary and may actually be harmful.

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#379 of 380 Old 01-09-2013, 04:15 AM
 
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Plain old handwashing is the best defense against nasty germs. Unless you are in situations that require it (like healthcare or childcare)  I think a few times a day - if that - should be plenty. Our kids' hands get washed around mealtimes and baths, and whenever they might get sticky.

 

I have a couple beefs with hand sanitizer 1) it's overused - seriously 2)most are alcohol based, and dry out your skin, used during a particularly dry time of year, your hands are likely to get dry and cracked which the cracks are open sores for germs. 3) not all germs are bad.

 

In handwashing class they teach the 3 main ingredients of a good wash are friction, soap, and warm water. Believe it or not, the most important part is friction.that's what gets rid of most of the bad guys. you really don't need special antibacterial soap.

 

this is a pretty mainstream article, but still, I think a decent one: http://thestir.cafemom.com/healthy_living/128285/hand_washing_101_tips_you

 

And even in their list of things, most of those kids won't be doing (raw chicken, contacts, etc)

 

No matter how well someone knows us, I think it helps immeasurabley to have whatever we are saying reinforced by a 3rd party. It's like hearing it for the first time. Why, I don't know, but it's true. I really hope you can manage to continue to go.

 

Annie - glad Ava's feeling more herself.

 

I'm fine - 32 weeks today! - time is flying, I need to work on a budget as soon as I figure out what my paycheck is going to look like this year. I've increased my FSA, and then taxes are going up 2%. joy. Need to pay for the baby stuff!  I really, really, want some NB AIO (8-10 I think) for out and about. buying used, I think I can do that for under $100. And I will easily recoup all the money spent. And they are cute. But I have to have the $$ up front. Or I could just spend (or we may be given) 20-40 on disposables for out and about. No money recouped, but less up front. DH is letting me decide. yay.

 

DH remarked last night how big I am. I honestly don't think I was this big with Norah at this point. need to do some comparison pics. I also feel like he's lower. I am really hoping he comes a little sooner than 41+6 this time.

 

ETA: comparison shot (31 weeks with N, 32 weeks (today) with T, 33 weeks with N)


Katrina - Mama to Gabriel  sleepytime.gif 11/20/2009 and Norah vbac.gif 10/11/2011- married to Wayne - geek.gif novaxnocirc.gifbfinfant.giffamilybed1.gifcd.gif&nbspand now new baby Theodore born 3/11/13 vbac.gif

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#380 of 380 Old 01-09-2013, 08:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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January thread: http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1371874/january-2013-rockstar-mamas

Hm, Kat, I don't know if you look bigger. Your belly does look a little different, maybe more pointy rather than rounded out over your whole belly. I don't see your belly lower. Actually, it kind of looks to me like N was lower at 33w. shrug.gif

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