Discussing Women with Sons - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 01-21-2013, 05:43 AM - Thread Starter
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I saw the discussing growing up with daughters thread and I thought of my son. So far, I've avoided talking about women's issues with my son. And, now I suspect I've done him a dis-service. Appropriate nudity (showering, bed, changing clothes) is common in our house and my son has noticed and commented on differences he's witnessed. But, I have avoided any discussions on function or reasons and especially on menstruation.

So, I'm curious how these discussions come about and at what age for most people? Are there any recommended books? TIA

Married to one of the last good guys left Jim
Mom to AJ 4/07 and Genevieve 5/09

And then:

And THEN twins: Matt 11/14 and his guardian angel Billy 11/18/14 - 11/28/14

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#2 of 6 Old 01-21-2013, 06:51 AM
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I guess these conversations have naturally occurred since DS started talking? So around age 1?

Mostly I just answer his questions. Sometimes I elaborate on certain things if he seems interested. He's only 4yo now so we don't generally delve into it in depth, but he does have some understanding of menstruation, conception, birth, etc. plus some of the physical differences between boys & girls.

If you haven't talked about it this far, I probably wouldn't sit him down & have a big talk or anything... just wait 'til he asks another question... and be prepared to answer in an age-appropriate manner. If you feel like there's a lot he's been wondering, you could get a book to read to him to open up communication a bit.

Co-sleeping is really wonderful when your child actually SLEEPS!! familybed1.gif
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#3 of 6 Old 01-21-2013, 11:18 AM
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Ds is 14 years old.  I had a hysterectomy (I had a huge fibroid) when he was 4 1/2, and we discussed menstruation prior to that in a very easy, matter-of-fact way.  He was never bothered about the blood or anything. 


I've explained to him everything to do with puberty of both sexes (as well as menopause!).  He understands menstruation and why it happens.  No big deal, though he is glad he is a guy!.  We've talked about boy-to-man developments quite openly and he understands all the aspects of reproduction and sex (as well as the consequences!).


Dh is a wildlife biologist, so this subject is no different than any other, in our home, and has been (and, is) discussed openly.  If he has a question, he asks and we give him honest answers. 


Ds is big on privacy now and we respect that. 

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#4 of 6 Old 01-21-2013, 12:00 PM
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I tell them everything. We read  scientific books about human bodies and reproduction. 

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#5 of 6 Old 01-21-2013, 11:24 PM
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OP, if your son is the '07 baby from your signature, he isn't old enough for you to have done him a disservice.

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#6 of 6 Old 01-23-2013, 08:18 PM
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Originally Posted by phathui5 View Post

OP, if your son is the '07 baby from your signature, he isn't old enough for you to have done him a disservice.


I agree.  I have a nine year old and he knew all that stuff by the time I was pregnant with his brother when he was almost five.  After I had my second, my older was at an age where he didn't need to go to the bathroom with me every time, and all that.  And I made a point of asking for a little privacy when I had my period because I felt like being there when I dealt with it was just not an image he needed to carry with him later.  But then not too long ago he told me that he didn't know what menstruation was.  Sigh...  So we talked about it.  But the point of my story is that you haven't messed up yet!  He likely wouldn't remember anyway.  


Now, at nine, we have talked about that much and we've talked about where egg and sperm come from and that they meet up to make a baby, and I bought him a book about boys' bodies and puberty, but we haven't talked about the mechanics of sex.  He really does not like to talk about that kind of thing (I think with anyone, but maybe especially his parents?).  We may be buying him another book soon...

Jayne, sewing up a storm mama to ds1 9/03, ds2 2/09, and 2 sweet furbabies.

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