February 2013 Rockstar Mamas Thread - Page 7 - Mothering Forums

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#181 of 240 Old 02-21-2013, 08:25 AM
 
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JJ, my womb is aching too. I totally know how you feel! I was looking at pictures of Ava's birth the other day and just in awe over the teensy tiny baby she was! I want another one so bad. She's so awesome, how could I not want another? love.gif

 

AFM, Ava is sick. I think she has that awful norovirus. She's been vomiting since this afternoon and DH said she's not keeping anything down. greensad.gif My poor monk!

Exactly. That's what's slowly convincing DH is the growing up. Watching her become her own little person with all these mannerisms. She's SO old for her age, it's easy to forget she's not even 15 months old yet. 15 months sounds like a baby to me, but she doesn't act it.    Me on the other hand, I love this obviously, but it's the baby photos that have me melting!

 

I know friends who have gone through Norovirus, it sounds horrific! hugs!!

 

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Thanks for the compliments on the pictures - I'm so, very, very glad I did them. It was on my pregnancy bucket list :) My mom actually picked up those boots at a consignment store for a few bucks (do you have a Once Upon a Child up there?) I love this style of photography, because everyone's personality really comes through - so much about a memory and not just a "shot". Anyway . . . we're going to have her do some family pictures after the baby is born, like maybe in May or June.

I still haven't had a chance to check out the pictures! Too much checking mdc from my phone. I need to do that today. The ones that have been posted on FB so far look awesome!  I wish we had done more. We were supposed to, but the day our doula/photog came over, the house was a mess and the light was horrible and so we decided to do it another day. But then we never did... bblah.


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#182 of 240 Old 02-21-2013, 10:21 AM
 
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Ava is still sick. She's kept a bit of breastmilk and a bit of water down since last night but still vomiting and super sleepy. Will probably have to take her in to the doctor this afternoon. If he thinks she needs fluids, then we'll have to go to the ER for an IV. Ugh.

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#183 of 240 Old 02-21-2013, 10:21 AM
 
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Ava is still sick. She's kept a bit of breastmilk and a bit of water down since last night but still vomiting and super sleepy. Will probably have to take her in to the doctor this afternoon. If he thinks she needs fluids, then we'll have to go to the ER for an IV. Ugh.

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#184 of 240 Old 02-21-2013, 11:30 AM
 
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Hugs Ava! Is she showing signs of dehydration?  I always refer to this list by dr sears.  Hugs!  I really hope she starts to recover soon.  greensad.gif

 

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/childhood-illnesses/dehydration

 

I'm on the mend!  I'm up off the couch!  Still on pain reliever, but I'm feeling MUCH better.  Thank goodness!  Nora gave me her cold tho.  And Finn has a cough/cold.  Is it summer yet!?


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#185 of 240 Old 02-21-2013, 11:34 AM
 
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I'm starting to think about potty training.  I think in about a month I'll be ready, I still think Finn isn't quite capable yet.  But we are getting close!  I have a new method/guide this time that I think will work a lot better and be less pressure than the bootcamp I did with Nora.

 

Crazy.

 

Speaking of grown up kids -- dude, Finn is like such a big boy now!  He's got a handful of real words!  He says Cars and Woody when pointing to the characters on TV, he says McQueen when he sees lightning mcqueen!  He saw the cars pull ups at Target and ran over, pointed, and said, "ooooh Ligh Weeeen!"  it's freaking nuts I tell you!!  Nuts!!  I really couldn't/can't wait for speech. I love it.


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#186 of 240 Old 02-21-2013, 12:28 PM
 
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Hugs Ava! Is she showing signs of dehydration?  I always refer to this list by dr sears.  Hugs!  I really hope she starts to recover soon.  greensad.gif


http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/childhood-illnesses/dehydration

I'm on the mend!  I'm up off the couch!  Still on pain reliever, but I'm feeling MUCH better.  Thank goodness!  Nora gave me her cold tho.  And Finn has a cough/cold.  Is it summer yet!?
She seems to be on the mend now. She ate some plain grits and drank some water when she woke up at 1:30 and so far, I haven't seen it again. She just drank almost 2 oz breastmilk so this will be the test. She was still making tears and a bit of urine so that's why I hadn't taken her in yet.

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#187 of 240 Old 02-21-2013, 05:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We had norovirus in Hawaii. It wasn't fun but it wasn't horrible, either. I lost a few pounds, which was a good thing. winky.gif Ethan vomited for 3 days, I think, and then was fine. It really was no big deal. Like Carrie said, look for signs of dehydration and/or other serious illness like infection. If that's all good, I wouldn't necessarily run to the doctor.

Ethan wants to join boy scouts because his friends are in it. I understand the appeal but I have issues with the organization. I'm not sure how to reconcile all of this. At the end, I will let Ethan join if he really wants to. The question is more how do I deal with it without constantly making remarks about it?

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#188 of 240 Old 02-22-2013, 09:16 AM
 
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Oh boy.  Can you explain to him your issues with the organization?  If he understands why you can't support it, maybe he will also choose not to.  I would have similar issues with Nora or Finn wanting to join an organization like that, tbh.  And Chris is an Eagle Scout and has said as much.  Not happening as long as we can help it.

 

Glad Ava is feeling better!

 

We all have colds.  Blah.


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#189 of 240 Old 02-22-2013, 10:03 AM
 
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Blah for sickness. go away!

 

I agree with trying to explain to him why you don't like the organization. If he still wants to after that, then maybe allow it. I am not big into either scout organization. No real strong feelings about it, but just a general feeling of . . . meh. why bother?

 

But then, I'm feeling meh about a lot of things lately. Think it's end of pregnancy enui. (or is it ennui?) whatever. I'm excited for the new baby, but don't really have a lot of verve. I think it's bothering DH, who seems very sex focused lately, and that focus is just been such a turn off. Which makes the situation worse. Come baby! Next weekend!

 

I am so excited for a new nursling. That part I'm really looking forward to, I can't believe how much I've missed it.

 

And Annie - glad Ava's on the mend! my mom was really concerned about Gabe, because he got pretty lethargic at one point, but he was rouseable and responded to questions - he just really wanted to sleep. But I figured he needed it. It's just not fun to watch your baby go through, knowing there really isn't alot you can do, except keep offering liquids and cleaning them up.


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#190 of 240 Old 02-22-2013, 10:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have explained to E why I can't support the organization. He's only 9. He doesn't understand. He told dh that I was mean for not letting him join so dh told him that I wasn't being mean. I was concerned about other people's rights.

Girl Scouts is a completely different organization. It's not affiliated with Boy Scouts at all. I don't believe it's a Christian or religious organization, either. I don't know what the GSA official policy is on allowing homosexuals in but I've never heard or read of them being discriminatory.

I'm having a crazy day so far. First, I took D back to the ortho. E bumped him and knocked him off the bed last night and this morning when he got up I noticed that there was a bump on his clavicle as if it were jutting up. They did more x-rays and said it's fine. The bump is actually a normal part of healing and will probably get bigger at first but will flatten out over time as the bone grows.

On the way home, I passed a guy riding E's bike! I stopped and asked the guy where he got it. He said from the 2nd hand store up the road. I told him that it was stolen off of my porch and it was my 9yo's Christmas present. Then the guy started saying he didn't know English well and acting like he didn't understand me. I told him again that the bike was stolen and that it was sad if he wasn't bothered by the fact that he was riding around on a kid's stolen Christmas present. He was just like, "Whatever," and rode off into the mobile home park. I tried to follow him to see which mobile home he was going to but, of course, he knew I was following him. He rode over to two other men who were walking. They proceeded to stand in the middle of street and try to get me to stop so I drove out of there. I came home and called the police. The officer said he'd go over there and see if he could find the bike or the man. If he finds the bike, he said he'd actually bring it back to me.

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#191 of 240 Old 02-22-2013, 11:06 AM
 
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That is CRAZY about his bike!!  OMG I can't believe that!  I hope you get it back.

Poor D.  Boy needs a chance to heal!  Geez!

 

You mean you explained to E that the organization doesn't allow members who are gay to participate and actually discriminates against them, and he's ok with that?  Did you go that far?

 

I have to read more about GSA.  I just don't go crazy for the cookies and how they push them on you all the time.  I was a girl scout for about a minute and dealt with some serious grade A mean girls so I quit.  It was kind of pathetic.

 

Kat - come on baby T!!  Let's get this show on the road!!  


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#192 of 240 Old 02-22-2013, 11:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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You mean you explained to E that the organization doesn't allow members who are gay to participate and actually discriminates against them, and he's ok with that?  Did you go that far?

Yes, I did and yes, he is. I first had to explain what homosexual meant. I don't think he quite understands what it means to actually discriminate against someone. IDK

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#193 of 240 Old 02-22-2013, 11:22 AM
 
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Hmm.  Has he told you what exactly appeals to him about the boy scouts that he wants to do?  Is it the activities, the outfit, the trips?  Could you find something similar that does those things so he could get the experience?

 

He's so smart.  Maybe he feels since it's a private organization they have the right to do what they want and allow who they want in.  Or maybe he just thinks you're mean and trying to ruin his life.  winky.gif

 

DH just put in new smoke/fire detectors.  I just took a hot shower and the steam in the hallway set the darn thing off.  I was so startled!  LOL at least they work?


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#194 of 240 Old 02-22-2013, 02:47 PM
 
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Ugh, I have issues with both organizations for various reasons. I don't know how I would handle that. But I wonder, if you've explained your position and it doesn't bother him, should you respect his request? At what age should we let them begin to differentiate themselves from us? Not necessarily directing this at you MW, more of a general question.

Ava started vomiting again this morning. She went to bed around 9:45 pm and slept until about 8 when she started vomiting again. She was throwing up stuff she ate last night. Nothing, and I mean nothing, has stayed down today. It comes back up within 10 mins of taking it in. I called the Dr late this afternoon and they want to see her. She's only had one wet dipe today. So we're going in at 7 pm. I will keep you guys posted.

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#195 of 240 Old 02-22-2013, 03:36 PM
 
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:( Thinking of you and Ava!


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#196 of 240 Old 02-22-2013, 04:47 PM
 
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Just left the doctor. She was pleased with her hydration despite all the vomiting. She was also happy I still have breastmilk to give her. She said it's magic stuff! She gave us a dose of zofran to make it stop. She thinks it may be food poisoning instead of Norovirus because there hasn't really been any diarrhea. Who knows?

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#197 of 240 Old 02-23-2013, 04:42 AM
 
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Annie you raise such a valid question.  We're actually running into a lot of deep questions like that IRT Nora's veganism.  She's really starting to want things that aren't vegan and tho we explain our position, she doesn't always agree.  Chris and I have been having lots of conversations about what that means for us and how do we draw the line.  I thought she would be much older when this sort of questioning and ambivalence started, like 8 or 9, and I would have an easier time letting her choose what she wanted to do.  Having her be so young still and not fully comprehending the why's of what we do makes me feel like if she starts choosing to eat eggs and dairy, it's a disservice on my part.  Idk.  Lots to talk to her about and to think about for us as parents.

 

I'm glad Ava seems ok despite the illness. Food poisoning?  Any idea what she could have eaten that was questionable?  Crazy.  Poor bug.  I hope she's up and better soon!


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#198 of 240 Old 02-23-2013, 05:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Aw, poor Ava! I hope she's feeling better.

I think we need to respect our children's opinions regardless of age. If it's not a personal safety issue, I think they should get the final say in anything that they do. To me, refusing to let my child join Boy Scouts because I don't like it would be the same as forcing him to play football even if he didn't want to.

Annie ~ What are you issues with GSA? I was a Brownie for about a minute but quit. I can't remember why. I never made it to actual girl scouts.

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#199 of 240 Old 02-23-2013, 05:56 AM
 
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Idk if I agree but I don't know how I to explain it.  When it's a question of ethics and them doing something we fundamentally disagree with, it's still our role as parents to help them understand that.  Even if it makes them mad at us.  We can respect their opinion and hear them, but not agree with it.  Even at 4 or 9 years old.  


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#200 of 240 Old 02-23-2013, 06:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Absolutely, you don't have to agree with their opinions but that doesn't mean that yours is the only correct one. You can't force your ethics or POV on another person, including your child. You can model what you think is the right way to live and you can explain your position when it's appropriate but it's not right or fair to force that position on another person. That would be the same as the fundamentalist Christians taking over the government and forcing us all to live according to their version of the Bible or living under Taliban rule.

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#201 of 240 Old 02-23-2013, 11:20 AM
 
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Well, the diarrhea showed up this morning so I'm not buying the food poisoning theory. Plus, Ava and I eat pretty much the same thing and I haven't been sick. DH said she eats different stuff at the sitter but usually food poisoning shows up about six hours after injesting the bad food so the timeline doesn't match up. Oh well. No pukes since yesterday evening so hopefully it's passed us.

I have issues with some of the patches. There are things, like fertility and family planning, that I think should only be taught at home. Just like in school, the troop leader is supposed to let the parents know before discussing something like that so they can opt out but I still don't think that is an appropriate venue. I also don't like the pledging and vows. It feels to military or Hitler youth to me. I don't know. Kind of hard to explain. My big kids did a program at their mom's church, AWANA, that's kind of like BS and GS but very religion focused and they start every meeting with the AWANA pledge and it always freaks me out. It feels like brainwashing kind of?

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#202 of 240 Old 02-23-2013, 02:03 PM
 
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Poor Ava! <3 Sending good thoughts.  

I think that's the unsettled feeling I get from GSA as well, Annie.

 

MW what are your opinions on our control over what our kids eat/consume for health reasons?  For example I don't let them eat artificial sweeteners or red 40.  I could also argue a huge part of vegetarianism is for health concerns.  If this is what I think is healthiest, aren't I obligated to express that opinion and do what it takes to keep my children safe/healthy?  I think it's within my right as a parent.  It won't last forever.  I have trouble figuring out at what point I'm comfortable handing over that much responsibility to my children.  I feel like it's somewhere around pre-teens.  But it obv depends on maturity and circumstance.


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#203 of 240 Old 02-23-2013, 03:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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MW what are your opinions on our control over what our kids eat/consume for health reasons?  For example I don't let them eat artificial sweeteners or red 40.  I could also argue a huge part of vegetarianism is for health concerns.  If this is what I think is healthiest, aren't I obligated to express that opinion and do what it takes to keep my children safe/healthy?  I think it's within my right as a parent.  It won't last forever.  I have trouble figuring out at what point I'm comfortable handing over that much responsibility to my children.  I feel like it's somewhere around pre-teens.  But it obv depends on maturity and circumstance.

I think that as long as they aren't asking for it, you don't need to give it to them. But once they start asking I think it's wrong to absolutely deny them because you think it's bad. Again, the best way to get your kids to eat healthy food is for you to eat it.

You mentioned that Nora wanted to try eggs and dairy but you have ethical issues with that. Could you find local, cage-free eggs that you are know are truly cage free and maybe go straight to a dairy farm to get milk or whatever?

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#204 of 240 Old 02-23-2013, 04:27 PM
 
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I'm still just not comfortable with that idea at all.  I still don't think she's mature enough to be making this choice.  As a family we've decided this is who we are, it goes beyond just a dietary restriction.  It's a lifestyle and a belief.  I can't just say oh, she wants to try something, and give up all I believe in just like that.  I want to focus more on educating her on the whys.  And go from there.


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#205 of 240 Old 02-24-2013, 06:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, I have to admit I'm the same way about school. E still periodically says he wants to go to school but I just can't let him. It's mostly fear that keeps me from saying yes to that one request, which is sad. There is a part of me that wishes I could let go of the fear and let him try it out. Other unschoolers who have talked about say that their children usually choose to come back home pretty quickly after trying school out. I'm just too scared of what might happen at school while he's trying it out. But then maybe I can put that under my list of safety issues because I do draw the line at that.

Why do you think Nora isn't mature enough or old enough to choose what she eats? I presume it's because your main reasons for being vegan are ethical. If you can explain it to her and she's ok with it (for now), that's fine. But there will come a time when you won't be able to control what she eats and if she views you as too controlling or judgmental about it she's much more likely to sneak.

E's and K's neighborhood homeschooling friends spent the night last night. K was cute at bedtime. He climbed into his bed and said, "See ya tomorrow, Mom!" with a huge smile on his face. E came in my room around 1 am after his friend fell asleep and said he couldn't sleep without me. It's funny how the younger one wasn't concerned at all about sleeping somewhere else but the older one couldn't sleep at all. Different personalities. E was worried about what his friends would think about him not being able to sleep without his mom. I hope they don't tease him. I told him that a true friend wouldn't tease him.

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#206 of 240 Old 02-24-2013, 08:15 AM
 
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OMG, had the most random horrific sick day yesterday. I've been feeling better from my throat sick issues. I went to bed Friday night, and by about 2am, I was noticing that when I rolled over in bed, it felt like the room was spinning and my stomach would roll everytime i did so. Around 5am, I got out of bed to grab a glass of water and a chocolate to see if it was a blood sugar issue. I barely made it to the kitchen, I was so dizzy and the room was spinning so much, I had to hold onto the walls to move. I went back to bed for most of the day, alternating only with lying on the couch with my head pressed on a pillow. Even turning my head from side to side was enough to send my head spinning. But.. I had no other sick symptoms-- my stomach felt fine unless I moved, my head didn't hurt, I wasn't light sensitive, nothing. It was so odd.

 

Anyways, I slept more than I was awake yesterday, and then finally around 7pm I was well enough to shower (washed and conditioned my hair sitting on the floor of the shower), and felt a lot better after that. Went to bed shortly after Tenley did, and slept most of the night. Feel a ton better this morning. No dizziness, just a bit of light headedness-- probably from not eating much yesterday. 

 

 

Anyways.... this discussion has been interesting. Obviously I do think that there is a point when you as a parent need to make decisions based on what's best for a child, when they're not old enough to understand the implications of their choices. All of us are going to have different opinions as to what constitutes something important enough to have to take control of the situation. Right, like for me I look at the vegan/vegetarian  issue and say Oh, well that's not fair, because she should have the opportunity to eat those things if she wants. BUT-- Carrie, I also know that you guys as a family have looked into the health and ethical issues, and consider it a very serious choice. So I respect that, and why you wouldn't want her to make that decision when she's not old enough to have and understand all the facts.  One could look at it the same as some other ethical issues-- bullying for instance. When you explain to a child why bullying isn't nice, and all the consequences of it, but they still do these things-- do you allow them to, simply because you told them about it, and they need to make their own choices? No, you would take steps to correct the behavior/remove them from the situation-- because you as an adult know more about the harm of this than they do. 

 

I think there's too much of a move towards this fear of saying no to children. I don't think saying no is a bad thing-- I think saying no -for no reason- is a bad thing. There's tons of studies out there about how children thrive with limits. Developmentally, they aren't equipped to make all their own decisions, and it often leaves them floundering. Gentle boundaries help them remember that they don't have to always be in charge and 'strong' and the one making all the choices, especially when the subject is so important and potentially life changing (eating animal products, bullying, going to public school). I think it's good to give them the opportunity to be i ncharge and make decisions about smaller things- what to wear, how much to eat, whether they want to play with so and so, etc etc. But I believe the research that says we're doing them a disservice by not setting any boundaries-- especially when it's about such important things. 


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#207 of 240 Old 02-24-2013, 02:05 PM
 
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Oh yes I know the time will come when I have no control over their choices, and i know those days are coming.  I just don't believe they are here now.  It's much like the school analogy, MW.  Sure there may come a day when N or F have really thought about things and have decided the social pressures, the temptations, the allure of a lacto ovo, or god forbid, an omnivorous diet, make veganism too much of a challenge.  Maybe they won't feel as passionately about things as Chris and I do.  That's a possibility.  A bridge to cross for sure.  And we don't want to be too controlling b/c like you said, that leads to rebellion and being sneaky.  But those aren't the thoughts she's having now.  She sees a kid at school with something, I do my best to find it in a vegan version.  She wonders why her ILs eat cows and pigs and chickens and I do my best to explain that some people feel differently about animals and eating them.  We are working on educating her on the whys, and hoping that it clicks on some level so she makes what we feel is the right choice.

In the meantime we get to exert what control we have and provide plenty of fun healthy food for our kids, and do our best to model what we want them to be.  They aren't lacking for anything.  I don't think they're deprived in the least.

 

Anywho, yeah, it's gonna be a challenge.  But what part of parenting isn't?

 

Alright they are climbing all over me!  LOL!  Bbl!


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#208 of 240 Old 02-24-2013, 03:19 PM
 
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This discussion on choices is definitely interesting. I don't know what the "right" answer is. What it has made me realize is there's not much that I feel so strongly about that I wouldn't want Ava to do/eat before she's mature enough to really consider the consequences. Maybe caffeine? Other than that, I got nothing. If she decides she wants to go to school, I'm fine with that. We don't follow a specific diet so I don't really care what she eats. I don't even think I would be that put out if she decides when it's time to prepare for First Communion that she doesn't want to right now. Hmmm...more to think about.

 

AFM, we ended up taking Ava to the ER in the middle of the night. She started vomiting again while I was at work and we didn't have the zofran because we hadn't gotten her script filled since she had stopped vomiting. She was awake when I got home at midnight and she asked for milk so I gave her 2 oz of breastmilk and she fell asleep. She woke up about 20 mins later SCREAMING and then started vomiting everywhere. She kept screaming so I woke up DH and said we need to take her in. I'm sure I overreacted but it was scary and I don't think I could live with myself if I downplayed something she was going through and didn't get her help and then she died. Her heart has really adjusted my "wait and see" approach that I took with the big kids. I remember one time DSD 13 had a fever of 104.3 and I was totally ok with alternating tylenol and motrin, giving her a tepid bath, etc. Her fever was responding to my interventions so I was ok waiting. I'd be in a total panic if Ava's fever hit that high now. So we got to the ER, she vomited again while the doctor was trying to examine her. They don't know why she's vomiting but she looked ok from a cardiac standpoint. So they gave us more zofran, did a fluid challenge and then sent us home. I was really starting to question the virus theory but then her sitter texted me shortly after we got home from the ER that she was vomiting. So I guess it is something viral. And now my stomach is tight, I'm lightheaded and dizzy and don't feel good. Gah. I really hoped I was going to escape this one.


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#209 of 240 Old 02-25-2013, 05:03 AM
 
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Ugh I guess it's too much to hope it's just from exhaustion and stress?  Stomach bugs are just plain awful and Ava's seems like such a doozy.  I'm so sorry!  I hope you feel better soon!  Both of you!!!

 

I can't even put into words how awful the whole getting stitches experience was for Finn.  OMG.  Never ever want to go thru that with a child again.  Ever.  greensad.gif  He seems ok this morning, a little bothered by the bandage but really, he's smiling and happy like nothing went wrong.  He slept well last night too -- didn't wake up until 6.  Hoping for an uneventful day. 


Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
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#210 of 240 Old 02-25-2013, 05:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I can't imagine trying to get stitches into a toddler. Did he have to be restrained?

I sure hope Ava recovers soon and you don't get too sick, Annie.

Here's one way I look at things with my kids. Is whatever we are butting heads about important enough that I'm willing to risk our relationship? If not (and most things aren't), then I let it go.

I have had the opposite observation as JJ. Maybe it's because I've been living in military towns for so long now where people seem to be much more strict and rigid. Or, maybe it's just a difference in perspective. IME, it seems more parents are afraid to say, "yes," to their kids. The parents think they have to control their children. They don't want to spoil them. They don't want other people to think they are permissive. They don't trust their kids and think the kids are just trying to manipulate them or be bad, which I guess in a way they are if that's the only way they can be themselves, be kids. I see parents being really horrible to their children and I find it very sad.

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