Leashes for children? Yes or no? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
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#61 of 120 Old 04-17-2013, 12:58 PM
 
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I just wanted to tell you about a scary moment I watched one day.  A woman was walking in the park with a baby in a stroller and a toddler on a leash...  They got to the top of a hill and the toddler bolted off the path, straight down the hill, taking his mother and the stroller with him.  The stroller was so close to rolling over sideways...eek!!!!  I guess the mother should have let go of the leash but it all happened so fast!  Poor girl!

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#62 of 120 Old 04-18-2013, 01:52 PM
 
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I've never bought one, but have improvised with a playsilk tied to a toddlers' beltloop a few times at state fairs,etc.

It's not a new idea, though! Dd and I were researching historic clothing the other night trying to date a photo and found a few time periods where childrens clothes had long ribbons sewn into the shoulder seams to hold up new walkers as well as keep them close. I wonder if they got judged for it. wink1.gif
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#63 of 120 Old 04-18-2013, 01:53 PM
 
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I've never bought one, but have improvised with a playsilk tied to a toddlers' beltloop a few times at state fairs,etc.

It's not a new idea, though! Dd and I were researching historic clothing the other night trying to date a photo and found a few time periods where childrens clothes had long ribbons sewn into the shoulder seams to hold up new walkers as well as keep them close. I wonder if they got judged for it. wink1.gif
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#64 of 120 Old 04-19-2013, 02:02 AM
 
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I don't think anyone is suggesting that a leash is always the best tool. We're simply pointing out that they are tools, and sometimes, they're the best tool for the job. The objections to them have never made any sense to me at all.

 

DD1 loved being on the harness. We were able to go out almost every day after my third c-section. She was able to go to the farm down the road and pet rabbits and goats and look at horses and sheep and pigs. She liked not having to hold hands all the time. I truly don't understand why so many people would prefer to see a child stuck at home all summer, forced into a carrier (not possible in my case - babywearing a two year old with an infected c-section incision wasn't going to happen) or stroller, or forced to hold hands when they're uncomfortable, than see that same child happily walking around and having adventures, while wearing a harness. Whatever it's about, the best interests of the child don't seem to be part of it.

 

 
...And I'm just recounting how they weren't helpful for me and their downsides in case anyone was interested in why some people don't like them/use them.

 

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#65 of 120 Old 04-19-2013, 11:07 AM
 
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...And I'm just recounting how they weren't helpful for me and their downsides in case anyone was interested in why some people don't like them/use them.

 

 

Well, I get why you don't use them, as they don't work for you. Why don't you like them, though?

 

This is why the leash thing gets to me. For whatever reason, they receive a lot of dislike from people who don't use them. I don't see any reason why anybody should use a parenting tool (or any other kind of tool, for that matter) that doesn't work in their situatoin. But, I don't dislike hammers, just because they won't work when I'm driving a screw. I don't dislike bicycle pumps, just because I can't use one to fill the tires on my car. Why do people dislike leashes, when they work for others?

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#66 of 120 Old 04-20-2013, 10:45 AM
 
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yeah what I still just do not get is why it could possibly be seen as better to have a child constrained in a stroller or sling than walking on a leash.

 

I just do not get that one at all. How does that help anyone? Sure put a kid in a stroller because you are tired or they are tired but to avoid a leash? I don't see how that's any better than parking a kid in front of the tv. Its always better for a kid to walk and run than be stationary.

 

Or miss out on fun stuff or stay indoors rather than put a kid on a leash? Why? What's the point? No kid is going to look back and say, "wow. I never got to go to the zoo or duckpond as a little kid, but that's totally worth it because thank god I didn't have to wear a leash.". I've never met a kid who objected to a leash. And anyway, to a kid, being like a dog is a great thing. FGS my kids spend hours pretending to be dogs.

 

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#67 of 120 Old 04-21-2013, 02:11 PM
 
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After reading the thread and replies to my post, I have to admit...it IS really an image thing, nothing more.

 

To the argument that it is no different in practice than a stroller or carrier...in fact, it is less restrictive...I have no counterargument.

 

So consider my mind changed.

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#68 of 120 Old 04-24-2013, 05:44 PM
 
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I can see why they wouldn't work in all cases, they're not meant to restrain children or drag them somewhere against their will (I think that's what straight jackets are for), they're just meant to keep curious but otherwise content kids from darting into traffic or wandering too close to a tiger cage at the zoo while their parents aren't paying attention. Dog leashes aren't meant to be much different either. The leash is supposed to be loose and the dog is meant to follow along and obey its handler... the leash is just there for when the temptation to disobey is just too great. 

I can understand how people can dislike using them if they don't work with their kids but I don't see how they can dislike other people they don't know using them. 

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#69 of 120 Old 04-24-2013, 07:22 PM
 
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I am pro-leash. Honestly, I think most of the alternatives (forcing your kid to hold your hand, not letting him walk, not taking him anywhere) are just plain mean... not to mention they are sometimes not very feasible.

 

Outside of MDC-like communities, the anti-leash crowd goes the extra step and says that, rather than using a leash, a good parent will use harsh punitive measures (up to and including beatings) so that the child too afraid to leave their side. Doesn't that sound respectful?

 

Honestly, if leashes were all that disrespectful, I wouldn't put them on my dog either.

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#70 of 120 Old 04-27-2013, 01:13 PM
 
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I used to be very anti-leash. And then I had twins. Im thinking about buying one for my three year old so that we can do something simple like walk down the sidewalk without me being terrified that she would go in the street and I couldnt prevent her if I was holding/wearing two other babies. 

 

I cant even imagine once I have three walking children. I might leash them all. 


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#71 of 120 Old 04-27-2013, 01:17 PM
 
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Also, as far as people who dont like leashes go: Do you dislike strollers? 

 

Because my 3 year old wants to walk, everywhere all the time. In the grocery, on the sidewalk, on a busy street, etc. She wants to feel grown up, and she doesnt want me to wear her or be in a stroller. So, I look at a leash as giving her the freedom to walk while still keeping her safe. No one would balk at a 3 year old strapped into a stroller throwing a fit, but people stare when you allow your child to walk and just keep them attached to you. Makes no sense. 


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#72 of 120 Old 04-30-2013, 09:53 AM
 
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I swore I'd never use a leash, but after my second son was diagnosed with autism, I quickly changed my mind. In public places, he gets over stimulated and it's like he's in a fog. He wanders, looks for random things on the ground and doesn't pay attention at all. It's really hard to keep him with me. He loves going to the zoo and to Seaworld, and without it, it would have been impossible. He's too old for it now, but he used to ask to wear his monkey backpack. He would hold the little tail of it and i held the end. He never holds hands ever, it makes him very uncomfortable. I had a few adults say something to me about how cruel it was, but after explaining his diagnosis and pointing out that he is not capable of asking for help if he gets lost, they were quick to apologize. I wish our society wasn't so judgmental!

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#73 of 120 Old 04-30-2013, 12:22 PM
 
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Does anyone know if I can find a child tether for swimming in the ocean, like the ones surfers use for their boards? Do such things exist? I'm a small woman, and we're moving to a coastal city in about a year. I would feel a lot better knowing my daughter was attached to the end of a tether I could quickly reel in, rather than losing her under rolling waves.

 

I used to be anti-leash, thinking it was crappy to treat your kid like a dog. Of course, like many things, I changed my mind after actually having a baby! I would use a leash before a stroller. We don't drive, live in a city, and we reside on the third floor of a walk-up... I mean, I guess I could lock up the stroller outside with my bike, but that seems silly.  smile.gif 

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#74 of 120 Old 04-30-2013, 01:11 PM
 
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Great thread, I really enjoyed reading it.

I'm pro-leash. My DS is a bolter and he HATES holding hands. He'll hold hands to steady him on uneven ground but other than that, if DH or I try to hold his hand he will pull and fight to get loose even if we're headed the direction he wanted to go. He'll sit in a shopping cart or a stroller if he's tired out, but other than that, he wants to be moving under his own power. Add to that that he is WAY over the 95th percentile for both height and weight, and carrying him around in any kind of carrier or in my arms, even at 21 months, does not last long. Unfortunately because he's such a big guy, I do get a LOT of nasty looks with him being on the leash (he looks like an average sized 3-4 year old) but no matter how tall he is physically, he's not even 2 yet. He just does not have the impulse control or the willingness to listen to be out in public and allowed to run free.

He loves his monkey backpack and puts it on himself if he finds it laying around at home, so, I'm not worried that it's damaging him mentally. It allows him to explore a bit more freely when we are out and about, without having to be strapped into something all the time, or be confined at home because he won't stay still. I watch him like a hawk even when he's got his monkey on and he's attached to my wrist, because he likes to grab things off shelves or get in to other peoples' personal space. We're working on it, but I expect it will be a while before he's fully trustworthy out and about.

I understand not using a leash if they don't work for your child - that's true of any parenting tool! But if it works for your child, then super. For us, it works - DS enjoys it, and I'm not stressing out every second about him running into traffic or someone snatching him at the grocery store.

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#75 of 120 Old 04-30-2013, 01:13 PM
 
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Does anyone know if I can find a child tether for swimming in the ocean, like the ones surfers use for their boards? Do such things exist? I'm a small woman, and we're moving to a coastal city in about a year. I would feel a lot better knowing my daughter was attached to the end of a tether I could quickly reel in, rather than losing her under rolling waves.

 

I used to be anti-leash, thinking it was crappy to treat your kid like a dog. Of course, like many things, I changed my mind after actually having a baby! I would use a leash before a stroller. We don't drive, live in a city, and we reside on the third floor of a walk-up... I mean, I guess I could lock up the stroller outside with my bike, but that seems silly.  smile.gif 

 

You'll never find a product involving children, water and rope of any sort. You could get a life jacket or PFD and tie something to it yourself... although I wouldn't recommend it... if you get hit with a wave and the tether was wrapped around them wrong, they could break something or have it wrap around their neck.

 

PFDs are actually really comfortable but not designed to flip an unconscious person onto their back. Lifejackets are more bulky but they have a handle and will keep their face out of the water. 

 

I would just have her wear a PFD and teach her to hold her breath if she gets into trouble. The rolling waves will toss any floating object out onto the shore in seconds... in fact, you'd probably have a hard time keeping her in the water. 

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#76 of 120 Old 05-01-2013, 01:37 PM
 
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You'll never find a product involving children, water and rope of any sort. You could get a life jacket or PFD and tie something to it yourself... although I wouldn't recommend it... if you get hit with a wave and the tether was wrapped around them wrong, they could break something or have it wrap around their neck.

 

PFDs are actually really comfortable but not designed to flip an unconscious person onto their back. Lifejackets are more bulky but they have a handle and will keep their face out of the water. 

 

I would just have her wear a PFD and teach her to hold her breath if she gets into trouble. The rolling waves will toss any floating object out onto the shore in seconds... in fact, you'd probably have a hard time keeping her in the water. 

 



Great suggestions, thanks!

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#77 of 120 Old 05-07-2013, 04:07 PM
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Just popping in to make sure you all saw our Mothers Day Contest. In addition to three Boba baby carriers we're giving a $300 dinner/spa package for one lucky mom. Contest ends in three days! Get the entry info here: http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1382508/let-mothering-and-boba-pamper-you-this-mothers-day/0_100 thumb.gif


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#78 of 120 Old 05-08-2013, 12:26 PM
 
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I've contemplated getting a leash for my niece. 

 

She's 15 months old and has absolutely no fear.  Around the time she learned to walk, she learned to run.  Now she's a climber and has no problem scaling anything with ledges.  Her balance isn't the best and so those things terrify me.

 

I don't think I'd ever get one for her though.  Any confinement or restraint sends her into screaming fits.  She just wants to be free to play and explore.

 

So, I'll always be standing there making sure she doesn't lean too far back while climbing stairs or if she does fall someone is there to catch her.  She's just like my own and I want her to feel comfortable and confident in this big world.

 

Luckily though, she is wary of new people.  Phew!

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#79 of 120 Old 05-08-2013, 01:10 PM
 
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She's 15 months old and has absolutely no fear.  Around the time she learned to walk, she learned to run.  Now she's a climber and has no problem scaling anything with ledges.  Her balance isn't the best and so those things terrify me.

 

I don't think I'd ever get one for her though.  Any confinement or restraint sends her into screaming fits.  She just wants to be free to play and explore.

 

 

Leashes/harnesses sometimes work really well for kids like that. DD1 hated being restrained, but she loved the harness.


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#80 of 120 Old 05-08-2013, 08:27 PM
 
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We are considering getting them for our 17-month old twins. Right now we can't take them outside or to the park with just one adult because they run in opposite directions from each other. We are wondering if the leashes would give my husband or I a bit more freedom in getting the girls out when were on our own.
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#81 of 120 Old 05-10-2013, 05:52 PM
 
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I once hooked a retractable leash to my toddler's belt loop while walking along a river while I was 43 weeks pregnant. She kept running off toward the river and I was way too big to chase her to keep her safe, so I leashed her. Since then I haven't been judgmental about child leashes. We can't see if a parent has an invisible disease that makes it difficult for them to chase after a child, and we don't know if that child runs off or listens well. We don't know their situation and we don't know their past experiences (how many close calls with a child running into traffic would it take for you to resort to a leash?). I figure it's more freedom than being strapped into a stroller or holding the child's arm up above their head to hold hands.


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#82 of 120 Old 05-11-2013, 08:00 AM
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Nope.  No to a leash.

 

Until my kids were old enough to understand and hold my hand, I held them or put them in a stroller. 


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#83 of 120 Old 05-11-2013, 11:13 AM
 
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actually I'd be far more inclined to judge a parent for having a kid in a stroller or sling past around age 3. 

 

leash says to me "I have a bolter/other issues but am still committed to making sure my kid gets exercise."

 

stroller/sling says to me, "I don't care if my kid walks" (well within limits-of course little kids get tired, especially if they don't walk much. Hidden issues, etc etc).


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#84 of 120 Old 05-11-2013, 11:23 AM
 
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actually I'd be far more inclined to judge a parent for having a kid in a stroller or sling past around age 3. 

 

leash says to me "I have a bolter/other issues but am still committed to making sure my kid gets exercise."

 

stroller/sling says to me, "I don't care if my kid walks" (well within limits-of course little kids get tired, especially if they don't walk much. Hidden issues, etc etc).

I used to think this way.

 

I have come to realise that some kids are in stroller long past when one would expect due to special needs.

 

My sister had one of her kids in a stroller for as long as she could - his severe autsim made him a bolter, and being jerked by a child bolting would only be so fun.

 

For a long time my youngest was prone to exhaustion and even getting ill if she did too much, due to health issues.  I remember using a stroller with her once and awhile until she was 6.  


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#85 of 120 Old 05-11-2013, 11:56 AM
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actually I'd be far more inclined to judge a parent for having a kid in a stroller or sling past around age 3. 

 

leash says to me "I have a bolter/other issues but am still committed to making sure my kid gets exercise."

 

stroller/sling says to me, "I don't care if my kid walks" (well within limits-of course little kids get tired, especially if they don't walk much. Hidden issues, etc etc).

I had three kids in the three years - I really didn't care whether they wanted to walk through the grocery store or not.  LOL!!!!!

 

If we were in the park or zoo etc - then I had the stroller available if they got tired or couldn't stay with me and hold my hand.  

 

They are all much, much older now.  It worked out okay.    I now worry about speeding in the car instead of speeding to get away from mom!

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#86 of 120 Old 05-11-2013, 12:00 PM
 
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I really don't see the issues with using strollers until any age, really... even if kids don't have a disability. Sometimes I have really busy days (as I'm sure everyone else does too) where I don't have time to let my son toddle along or take a nap or have a snack. Just because someone sees an older child in a stroller, it doesn't mean that's what they've been doing ALL day. 

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#87 of 120 Old 05-11-2013, 07:18 PM
 
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If we're walking because I want exercise, my kid is probably in a stroller. If I want a leisurely walk, he's probably not. Why judge at all?

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#88 of 120 Old 05-11-2013, 07:22 PM
 
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If we're walking because I want exercise, my kid is probably in a stroller. If I want a leisurely walk, he's probably not. Why judge at all?

Right????!!!!

Basically, no one knows what the heck is going on in someone else's family so everyone just needs to take care o' their own BIZNASS! :-P
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#89 of 120 Old 05-11-2013, 11:05 PM
 
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I guess the thread is about leash use..not strollers right? So, I think no on the leashes.I'd rather just pop my child in the Ergo if I am somewhere and worried about him"getting away". But I do use a stroller when we have a long walk like from the library and we ave checked out a hundred books and there is no way for me to carry everything and my son on my back.

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#90 of 120 Old 05-12-2013, 03:25 AM
 
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Originally Posted by tracyamber View Post

I guess the thread is about leash use..not strollers right? So, I think no on the leashes.I'd rather just pop my child in the Ergo if I am somewhere and worried about him"getting away". But I do use a stroller when we have a long walk like from the library and we ave checked out a hundred books and there is no way for me to carry everything and my son on my back.


Ah, but when you have a 36 pound 24 mo who hates the Ergo, this is not so easy! smile.gif

I wear my 5 mo and bring a stroller for my 2.5 yo if we go on long walking activities. DS1 gets tired still and I'd rather not wear a baby and carry a toddler wink1.gif We also recently bought a double stroller since our 5 mo is also on the large side. My bad neck and back just doesn't like all this baby wearing and I can't overdo it. I'll use that double stroller and do use our single stroller without a worry when I need to!

As for leashes, yep, my kid is a bolter so when I see leash wearers now, I totally smile at them and laugh at my pre child conception of leashes. We don't have one for DS1 but I have considered it many times. We stick with the single stroller now that we have two kids, before DS2 came I'd just go streaking after DS1 to catch him. Not always fun, especially when nearly 42 weeks pregnant. Really should have just bought a leash for him wink1.gif

Me: lady.gif Sarah, married to: geek.gif J, mommy to: happytears.gif C (8/10) and rolleyes.gif E (11/12)

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