Enjoying One of Your Children More than Another - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 04-30-2013, 10:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Both of my children are awesome people that I love to bits. They also have very different talents, personalities, etc...I really struggle with feeling guilt about finding it so much easier to enjoy the time I spend with one of my children compared to another. I've tried a lot to work on strengthening my connection with the child I find more difficult, but I haven't experienced a lot of progress. My partner feels the same about our two children, but the child doesn't appear to have the same amount of conflict at school. I really worry that the child will notice how much easier of a relationship we have with the other child and think that this shows that we love the other child more (which is definitely not true). Does anyone else feel like this?


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#2 of 5 Old 04-30-2013, 08:19 PM
 
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Looking at your tagline, it looks like you probably have a 3 and a 6 year old (or nearly for one or both)? Go easy on yourself. These are not easy ages!  And I will bet as they get older one or the other will go through phases that will make the other child seem more -- or less -- fun to be around. I would also bet it will balance out naturally over time. That said, I have one who I DO find a lot more difficult and worry about some of the same things. He's 11, though, and has some behavioral challenges. There are times when he is a joy to be around, though, and I try to savor those. My "baby" is just 6 and sometimes the most annoying of the three, so he isn't always fun. But then I cuddle with him at night and he is the sweetest one of them all! Then there is the 9 year old. He is generally the easiest of the three, by far. But even  he has his moments where he is not my "favorite" to be around. In short, relax. I'm sure it will all be fine. :)

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#3 of 5 Old 04-30-2013, 08:27 PM
 
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Oh yes. My 3.5 year old is going through a very hard stage right now and has been for awhile. In retrospect, 3.5 has pretty hard for my 6 year old too. 

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#4 of 5 Old 04-30-2013, 08:46 PM
 
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Is there any chance that the child you have a harder time connecting with is three? Three is really tough. Definitely don't judge your relationship by it.

Even if three isn't involved, consider this a stage, not a destiny.
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#5 of 5 Old 04-30-2013, 09:00 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeepyCat View Post

 consider this a stage, not a destiny.

Brilliant words of wisdom.

 

Over the years, my kids have taken turns - being the easy one, the fun one, the obnoxious one, whatever. It is always changing, based on I-have-no-idea-what. Just hang in there - it's sure to change. One way or another.

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Rhu - mother,grandmother,daughter,sister,friend-foster,adoptive,and biological;not necessarily in that order. Some of it's magic, some of it's tragic, but I had a good life all the way (Jimmy Buffet)

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