What would you do if you suspected your pediatrician of being a pedophile? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 38 Old 05-16-2013, 08:55 PM
 
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That doctor's behavior is incredibly disturbing. Stroking your daughter's ponytail is very inappropriate. Recording your daughter's voice and talking to your daughter on the phone is also very inappropriate. All of the aspects of his behavior are inappropriate. And he went to med school with a sex offender. Many people that are involved in beauty pageants are pervs. He is a creep. Not to mention he made your daughter uncomfortable. The fact that he made her uncomfortable is another given! I would not take her back to this man for any more checkups. Switch to a different doctor if you want to protect her. He will not be offended. Do not feel bad about switching. You do not need to be polite to creeps.

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#32 of 38 Old 05-16-2013, 09:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by jmarroq View Post

I think it's incredibly inappropriate that he called you at home and spoke to her on the phone.  I also think he crossed another huge boundary by asking to record her voice for his personal use. I can't believe I am the only one who thinks this is way out of line.that alone would annoy me after a while. 

I don't think you are, I am not getting the feeling at all from what is written here that you are the only one. But I'm glad you have spoken up.

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#33 of 38 Old 05-16-2013, 10:11 PM
 
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I think if he's making you and your daughter feel uneasy, there is a reason for it... and you should listen. I also think it'd be really easy to just excuse his (inappropriate and unprofessional) behavior because he's gay and eccentric, and that is unwise. I'd find a new doctor.


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#34 of 38 Old 05-20-2013, 10:59 AM
 
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It does sound to me like a flamboyant, socially-awkward gay man who is into pageants and has a daughter of his own.  I can see lots of reasons why he acts the way he does, human beings are weird, why does this seem to be such a foreign idea?  I do not know, but I would switch because if you have to ask, then I think you already know the answer, you are uncomfortable and there has to be a better fit.  The new doctor will be a weirdo in their own way, but hopefully they will be your kind of weirdo!

 

LOL, good luck!

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#35 of 38 Old 05-20-2013, 11:00 AM
 
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Originally Posted by slpj View Post

That doctor's behavior is incredibly disturbing. Stroking your daughter's ponytail is very inappropriate. Recording your daughter's voice and talking to your daughter on the phone is also very inappropriate. All of the aspects of his behavior are inappropriate. And he went to med school with a sex offender. Many people that are involved in beauty pageants are pervs. He is a creep. Not to mention he made your daughter uncomfortable. The fact that he made her uncomfortable is another given! I would not take her back to this man for any more checkups. Switch to a different doctor if you want to protect her. He will not be offended. Do not feel bad about switching. You do not need to be polite to creeps.

Also.  I have to say that I am a very touchy feely person, I love kids and am absent mindedly affectionate towards them, things like stroking hair don't seem like red flags to me on their own.  If the doctor were a woman would that seem weird?  I am just asking.  I think I fit a lot of the abstract characteristics outlined by the OP in the original post, things like calling children endearing terms like angels etc., I'm eccentric, I have a daughter and I have possibly what could be considered unusual hobbies.   I feel like it is more about the vibe the OP is getting off this person than it is one action or another...

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#36 of 38 Old 05-20-2013, 11:09 AM
 
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Yeah I don't think he is a pedophile but I do think he makes you and your family uncomfortable and that should be enough to switch. I think it probably has more to do with her shy personality that he is trying to smother with niceness. My experience is that child molesters are usually much more secretive, quiet and want alone time with the child. But that doesn't mean she should continue to see him.

 

Also the him going to school with a molester is not a good indicator as somewhere around 1 in 20 men will molest a child.

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#37 of 38 Old 05-29-2013, 02:58 PM
 
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The behavior is definitely abnormal for a pediatrician, but you have not set any boundaries either, so he might have no idea how you feel.  If you are uncomfortable, I would switch to one of the female doctors and say your daughter has voiced that she would be more comfortable with one of the female doctors.


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#38 of 38 Old 05-29-2013, 04:38 PM
 
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I highly recommend also that you read the book Protecting the Gift by Gavin De Becker.  It really is about listening to our intuition.    If it was me, and I had any concern about my child's doctor in this way, we would not continue to have him as our children's doctor.  I would hope that I would not care what others thought, but followed my own intuition.. It is also a valuable lesson for the child in modelling listening to one's own intuition/instincts.

Lesley 

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