Fess up! What do you do that doesn't jive with attachment parenting and/or natural family living? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 124 Old 07-09-2013, 10:21 AM
 
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Love this..yay for middle of the road at times. We go full force on what really speaks to us and just what we can in other areas.
Although natural/no intervention pregnancies and births, they were in the hospital. Some doppler during pushing.
Timeouts. Plastic toys. Plastic plates and cups. Jogging stroller.
Disposable wipes for no. 2s. The occasional disposable diaper.
Ipads and video games. AC and mosquito spray, both sparingly.
Encourage weaning by three. And that is my absolute upper limit.
Not a fan of older kids in my bed.
Van. More driving than I would like.
Not all organic produce and dairy. Store bought, nonorganic chicken.
Public school, not crazy about it but definitely best for us. Selective delayed vaccs.
Some dryer usage esp in winter. I will not hang socks or undies. And my 'delicate' undies are so out of circulation anymore!
Im sure there are a lot things Im not even thinking of! Its not like theres a rulebook...RIGHT?! smile.gif
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#62 of 124 Old 07-09-2013, 12:54 PM
 
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this is great!

 

I swear around my kids and don't care to try not to.

I get angry and annoyed and I can't always express my feelings the way I'm always telling my daughter she needs to.

We eat sooo much pizza, usually about once a week. I even let her get pepperoni sometimes (gasp NITRATES)

We eat too much chocolate and sweet things.

My oldest daughter is fully vaccinated.

My baby got the dtap cuz I'm slightly more terrified of pertussis than I am of the vaccine.

We eat white rice sometimes because it's just so delicious.

 

ohh there is probably so much more...

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#63 of 124 Old 07-09-2013, 03:22 PM
 
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Oh jeez....I'm not sure I can list the things. lol.gif

 

we have had TV dinners the last two nights.

My baby is currently in a huggies disposeable

when my husband gets behind on the recycling and it gets annoying I grab a trash bag and clean it all up. Sheepish.gif

We are a tech house....video games, iPad, iPod, computers the whole shebang.

Adinal! *gasp* tv dinners?????????? the kind with the little desserts in the center? ...lol teasing mama!!!!!

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#64 of 124 Old 07-09-2013, 07:17 PM
 
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Cute thread!  On the one hand, I LOVE to read about all the wonderful and sometimes "over the top" efforts some families make in the name of NFL, AP, the environment and peaceful living. It inspires me to do better. But, skimming through this thread and seeing how much of a relief it is to other mamas when we talk about our "digressions", I'll go ahead and tell you all that I am currently down'nee'ocean, hon!  I am in candy, asphalt, SPF 600 heaven!  So, yea, we do our best. When money flows like the river Jordan (am I using that correctly?), I can be a pretty awesome NFL mama. But I really struggle with doing it on a budget. But, I also found some of our favorites in the NFL/AP world were a bit consumerist and I feel more ethically in line with some foundations of NFL/AP by not being able to afford so many of the beautiful perks. 

 

So, yea, I struggle with the buy local, buy organic or buy lots of inexpensive veg, meat and dairy and have wonderful cooking options. I simply buy so much less new and feel so great about that. Yea, some of that is plastic...but it's old and loved and less complicated in some ways than all those beautiful wooden toys. 
 

We managed 1 year each in cloth before I just couldn't/didn't stick to it. The kids were using fewer and fewer diapers and disposable just looked so good and easy. Both PT pretty early I think in part over my feeling pretty bad about disposable. 

 

I absolutely dislike food trends, a lot of which seem to be embraced in the NFL world. 

 

Our kid goes to public school. 

 

We partially vaccinate. 

 

I have told my loved ones that I would like them to go all out for Western meds if they get some terminal-seeming illness. 

 

We spend a lot of time in the sun in the summer and I use the drug store sunscreen. It works the best for our family and is most comfortable to wear. I do use some zinc too... but mostly just mainstream chemical laden goo. I have a couple of bottles of organic stuff that I just don't trust and only use if we're out in the sun a sort while. 

 

I'm a sold non-hitter (not that this is something to be proud of) but I can get pretty darn exasperated. I work on it but...  sometimes it takes me a bit before I get caught up. 

 

What else? 

 

I love Rice-or-Roni.  

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#65 of 124 Old 07-10-2013, 06:15 AM
 
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But Cynthia, How FAR do you drive that SUV?

I was wondering this too! Cynthia, you wrote that "we" drive an SUV. Does this mean that where you live has changed the laws regarding women driving? Congratulations!

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#66 of 124 Old 07-10-2013, 06:39 AM
 
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I vaccinate

I birth fully drugged

I use disposable diapers

Formula feeding this LO

I spray real liquid death on my lawn and in my house (bug killer)

We eat fast food like there are no grocery stores in my city

I only use my recycling bin because I have to.  Otherwise my trash can isn't big enough for all the trash we accumulate each week.

My kids are in public school and I buy public school lunches because Frito Pie is AWESOME!!

My kids do not have organic toys or wooden blocks

I shopped at Wal Mart the other day. 

I could ride share but I don't because I hate other people talking to me in the morning.

I buy bottled water, Large Costco flats of bottled water and just fill the city dump to brim with them. 

The meat I do buy is probably all horribly treated cows and chickens... they still taste good.

I pretty much parent my kids.  Like I tell them what to do and how to dress.  I don't allow that free for all feel good crap.

I fed my LO bb food at 5 months.  And it was store bought.

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#67 of 124 Old 07-10-2013, 10:33 AM - Thread Starter
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I was wondering this too! Cynthia, you wrote that "we" drive an SUV. Does this mean that where you live has changed the laws regarding women driving? Congratulations!

Laws haven't changed yet but that doesn't stop some. winky.gif

 

Disclaimer - I am a law-abiding citizen. But I do drive off-road. orngbiggrin.gif


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#68 of 124 Old 07-10-2013, 10:40 AM
 
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I have a full-time job by choice and use a day care center.  They do use our cloth diapers though.  orngtongue.gif

 

I yell.  I probably am not the most gentle discipliner, though I try.

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#69 of 124 Old 07-11-2013, 12:29 AM
 
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We're trying to get back to natural living so I figure airing my dirty laundry off the bat is the best way to keep me honest about my progrss and lack thereof.

 

Things we have no intent of changing...

We don't use any "natural" alternatives when it comes to personal hygiene. I love my shampoo, soap, tampons, TP, and body wash too much.

Drive a van by necessity.

Have a probably larger home than we need.

Watch TV.

Large family.

Equally enjoy organic produce and cheetos, and have no problem eating McDonalds once in a while. I figure that if the bulk of our diet is good, healthy, home-cooked food, 10-15% of the other stuff is a good balance between healthy and normal/fun.

 

Things we're changing...

Recently moved and have started raising chickies for eggs, will slowly start raising other things for meat and milk. Growing more of our own veg now that we live in a place where food actually grows!

Getting back to homeschooling/unschooling all or most of our children. Our oldest 2 went to school for a few years, at first it was because they were interested (which we have no problem with them going to school if it's their idea), but then because we just felt obligated to and they weren't happy any more. We were becoming naggy, authoritarian, school-focused parents who we didn't want to be. Now they're back home for the coming year, but our 5 year olds are going (by choice).

Moving toward replacing all our household cleaning products and methods with more natural alternatives.

Focusing more on entertainment at home rather than jetting here and there on a hectic schedule.

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#70 of 124 Old 07-11-2013, 01:18 AM
 
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So I deliberately picked some of what I think of as the newer things, or things that are way more mainstream now than they were when I got pregnant in 1998.

I'm not paleo or Weston-Price, nor am I veg*n, but I do eat vegan & veg meals sometimes, buy grass fed meat and try to buy local or organic as much as possible.  But then I eat out a lot, and we still eat sugar and flour and from the salty, crunchy snack group.

 

I don't make kombucha, kefir or my own yogurt.  I have made kombucha before, but I gave up on it.

 

I don't own an amber teething necklace, my children have never worn one. I do think they are cute, however.

My babies never had a craniosacral adjustment, nor have they seen a chiropractor.

 

I hate the term baby led weaning. I also feel like the idea behind elimination communication has been so co-opted or whatever you want to call it.  I actually did try EC with my first way back in 2000, but you didn't need special apparatus for it, and I'm kind of confused by it all now.  I feel like a lot of time what gets called EC is really early potty learning, and less of the attention is on learning the cues.  But if it works to eliminate the need for diapers, cloth or otherwise, I'm in favor of it.

 

I used a stroller, I was fine with the big baby toys like exersaucers.

I'm so sick of kale everything, seriously.  My kale chips don't really work out that well because I don't own a dehydrator, and the whole kale smoothie thing is not that great so far.  Spinach is fine, but if I try to minimize the grassy taste of the kale, I barely put any in.

I don't homeschool.

 

I sometimes fly on airplanes or drive long distances in my minivan.  We also have a big house that is air conditioned, and we each have our own computer.

 

I've never had a chicken in my yard, even for a day, although once a pair of ducks hung out for awhile.

I don't knit, crochet or dream about winning the lottery and buying out the yarn store.

 

I yell sometimes, I'm not the lovey dovey patient type of mother, although I am kind of a pushover parent.

 

I have a microwave and I use it.

 

Sometimes I shave my legs...a couple times a year.  And I'll throw my pits in there too, upon occasion, but they don't seem to look any better even with a shave. 

 

The more brightly colored plastic toys, the better.  My dream is to have a giant Playmobil room.

My dog does not eat a prey model diet.

I don't use a stool to squat for stool.  If sitting on the toilet and straining was good enough for the King, it is good enough for me.

I take ibuprofen or other NSAIDs, I'm not really into homeopathy.


My children only smoke organic pot...yeah, kidding, they don't smoke at all.

 

Oops, I forgot one: I only had my children rear-facing in their carseats until 30 pounds. Or maybe even not that long, I can't remember.  I know it was over a year, but it wasn't as long as 2 years with either of them.
 

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#71 of 124 Old 07-11-2013, 01:20 AM
 
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I love Rice-or-Roni.  

That was like my favorite food as a kid, but I haven't had it in years.  Somehow it was better when my mom made it, or something.

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#72 of 124 Old 07-11-2013, 07:58 AM
 
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I bribe my daughter with tv in exchange for her brushing my hair.

 

Just let my DD watch a Richard Scarry video so (after 2days!) I could do her hair.  With all this humidity it's the only way outside of the bathtub to get through the curls.

 

Too expensive to buy all organic, so we don't.

 

I'm a big fan of the swiffer and paper towels.  I've promised myself that someday we'll have  a washer/dryer and then we can abandon the paper, but until then ...  And we clean with all kinds of things.

 

There's definitely some plastic in the house.

 

We both like sugar, so DD eats sugar.  And she was born in a hospital, but just barely.

 

We did cloth-diaper, but we used a service (no washer/dryer and I was NOT going to haul a cartful of dirty diapers three blocks to and from the laundromat).

 

I'm sure there's more but ..

 

LOVE this thread!

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#73 of 124 Old 07-11-2013, 09:07 AM - Thread Starter
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Hi everyone! Just jumping in here to share our Babywearing Photo Contest. Be sure to check it out!  thumb.gif


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#74 of 124 Old 07-11-2013, 02:59 PM
 
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I have a circumcised, vaccinated, PBS-and-Netflix-devouring little boy who was born via C-section after an ill-advised induction. He started life attempting to drink breast milk, but mama's body was messed up after the cascade-of-interventions nightmare, so he ended up exclusively formula-fed from 6 weeks on.

He wears disposable diapers when his parents are feeling too lazy to deal with cloth diaper laundry, or when we travel. We use disposable wipes.

He's a fish stick eating fiend.

He was totally over the Ergo as soon as he started to walk.

He loves his pacifier with a passion.

He's been sleeping in his own room since he was 8 weeks old.

Take THAT, Dr. Sears! ;-)
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#75 of 124 Old 07-11-2013, 03:09 PM
 
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Fun!

 

I like a couple ultrasounds during pregnancy.

 

I'd *like* a shot of some pain killer during birth. We do home births, but I wouldn't shun some meds if legally offered. haha

 

We eat sugar. Not always organic. Some times what we eat may not even qualify as "food".

I live being sensitive to every ones wants and needs--- but at the end of the day I'm mom, and I make the final decision. supermod.gif "I'm the mom, that's why!" is a totally acceptable reason.

 

I drive a vehicle that gets maybe 10-12 mpg. Living rural, I drive 200 miles a month= $$$ for not a lot of travelling. Store and library a couple times. :(

 

I've driven through a McDonald's drive thru to get french fries to calm a crying kid more times than I'd like to admit in my life as a parent.

 

I have a bottle of bleach in my house.

 

I have no problem using disposable diapers when I have them for long journies, same with paper plates/napkins/cups for postpartum period or travels....

 

I haven't breastfed a babe over 10 months of age, and my first 3 children drank formula...I can recognize that may not be ideal without feeling guilty. That was huge, to me!

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#76 of 124 Old 07-11-2013, 04:31 PM
 
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Great idea! Here it goes:

 

We use disposable paper towels

 

My kids watch way too many youtube videos every day (we don't have cable), I pacify myself with the fact that we can monitor what they watch :)  lol

 

My first was born in a hospital and I used disposables with her for the first 6 months

 

I stopped making my own bread

 

I don't buy all produce organic

 

I let my kids eat bad things when visiting grandparents

 

I had two ultrasounds with my first baby

 

I eat too much dark chocolate, with my least favorite ingredient - soy lecithin!

 

I am secretly hating cloth diapering right now (stink, hard water)

 

I yell at my kids sometimes, then feel horrible about it

 

Our house is way too cluttered and the kids playroom is FAR from 'Waldorfy' lol

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#77 of 124 Old 07-11-2013, 05:22 PM
 
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Hmm, more:

Not vegan, paleo, primal, etc.

I couldn't identify kale at a grocery store, let alone eat it. Just never been on my radar.

We go out to restaurants a lot. Some top quality, some just average chains.

Kids all have wayyyyyy too much clothes. Most aren't thrifted. We do pass things down though.

Sometimes a raised voice is the only thing that will do. Almost never to the individual, but I do find myself yelling to get the attention of a group.

I'm a terrible twin mama. I dress them alike (their request, but I still get dirty looks about it sometimes), they're going to public school (their choice), won't be in separate rooms (my choice), and though they do have friends, they really only play with each other 90% of the time. They also don't have "separate" friends. Not that I'm against it, it just hasn't happened yet.

We have too much "stuff."

Our pets subsist on commercial (albeit "natural") pet food and table scraps. We do have a hayfield for the horses' food though! But OTOH they sleep on pine bedding which is probably not a very sustainable thing.

We fly commercial air and drive our van and RV for vacations and adventure.

The one really great thing about Texas was that it taught me how essential a fryer is and how to use it.

We use air conditioning, thank goodness.

I shave, use makeup, dress sharp, etc.

I can't sew to save my life. I've never knitted/crocheted anything more than a hat or scarf.

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#78 of 124 Old 07-11-2013, 05:56 PM
 
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This is the best! I feel like I'm ok to be a Mothering reader now smile.gif

I've had 4 c-sections.

I use disposable diapers. I once bought some cloth, but chickened out.

I nurse my kids on a schedule and they sleep in a crib in their own room from about 3 months on.

I don't own any green cleaning products except I make my own laundry soap.

My boys are both circumcised.

I could go on and on! Ha!
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#79 of 124 Old 07-11-2013, 07:03 PM
 
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Did anyone go to get a free Slurpee today, on 7/11 day?  Just curious.  I saw people mentioning it, even people who would normally never drink them. 

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#80 of 124 Old 07-11-2013, 07:11 PM
 
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Did anyone go to get a free Slurpee today, on 7/11 day?  Just curious.  I saw people mentioning it, even people who would normally never drink them. 


Nearest 7-11 is atleast 90 miles away. In my hog, that free slurpy would cost over $80 in gas roundtrip. energy.gifI licked the screen when a picture of one came up - does that count?

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#81 of 124 Old 07-11-2013, 07:18 PM
 
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If we had a 7-11 we would have been there wink1.gif Nearest one is 45 mins away... I love me a slurpee like no other. I think they may be my biggest downfall!
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#82 of 124 Old 07-11-2013, 08:43 PM
 
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This is great.

 

I feel so guilty sometimes - we are on a tight budget in a smallish town, so most of our food comes from Wal-Mart. I only buy the Canadian meat there and avoid the really processed stuff, but we could never afford organic.

 

We drink fluoridated city water and there's nothing I can do about it.

 

We eat white flour. It doesn't go rancid like the whole wheat stufff does. I try and cut it with something better if I have some, but sometimes I don't and I make good white bread.

 

I carried my daughter for months, but she's heavy, and we don't have a car, so when she FINALLY began to enjoy her stroller, I embraced it. I love the stroller. I don't feel like a pack animal anymore.

 

On that note, I can't wait until we can afford a car, and we will get one big enough to handle our roads in the winter, and high enough that we won't all be crushed if we hit a moose. These things are more important to me than fuel efficiency.

 

I sometimes buy disposables when I am tired of doing laundry.

 

My husband and I eat candy when the kid's asleep, but she's caught me sneaking chocolate a couple times and I let her try some. She loves it.

 

We planned to have no screen time, but sometimes when I'm exhausted and out of ideas I watch nature documentaries with my toddler.

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#83 of 124 Old 07-11-2013, 09:54 PM
 
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I swear around my kids and don't care to try not to.


We eat white rice sometimes because it's just so delicious.

me too. I love calrose and basmati....Just bought a 50 pound bag actually...innocent.gif

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#84 of 124 Old 07-12-2013, 12:03 AM
 
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We eat ice cream. Lots of ice cream. We LOVE ice cream! stillheart.gif

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#85 of 124 Old 07-12-2013, 10:37 AM
 
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We eat ice cream. Lots of ice cream. We LOVE ice cream! stillheart.gif

We eat a lot of ice cream, too. I do "try" to eat the "healthier" kind when we can!!!

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#86 of 124 Old 07-12-2013, 10:52 AM
 
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All my kids have had coffee.

 

I believe in moderation but you have to enjoy life and eating is a part of life. I like food!

 

I like me some quick-fried Cheetos now and then.

 

Being an older Mom with a 9 yr old who has three adult siblings (the youngest is 25), I have learned throughout the years to develop my own parenting style by using a hodge-podge mess of skills that have worked for me. From time to time I do resort to "because I am the Mom and I said so!"

 

How can you not have plastic Legos???

 

I have danced and sang with Sharon, Lois and Bram; Barney; and The Wiggles!

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#87 of 124 Old 07-12-2013, 10:57 AM
 
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I did not even really know about attachment parenting..I read about it briefly but ....Dr. Sears books were my BIBLE.  we co slept we breastfed, we also did specific vacinationations.

 

I often tell people we pretty much mesh a little bit from several types of parenting techniques into OUR parenting technique.

 

We watch tv.

 

we eat out more than i care to admit

 

We also had to supplement with formula early on. 

 

We also have had to use more consequences in discipline...I wouldn't call those times posiitive discipline but she is getting older...

 

Me, too. The world is full of consequences and not all of them are logical.

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#88 of 124 Old 07-12-2013, 01:08 PM
 
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I am a little confused by this thread, and by that I mean that the fact that it is suppose to be a list of our "shortcomings". In my opinion I have always taken an AP/NFL lifestyle as something to generally live by as guidelines, not absolutes. I am in an AP playgroup and have noticed that some parents do cloth diapers and some don't, some have children who go to public school and others homeschool etc, but I do not judge anyone in my group who does not do things exactly as I do. We are all human and do the best that we can and make decisions based on what we feel is best for ourselves and our families. 

 

Maybe I am taking this topic too seriously, but I find it a little disheartening that so many mamas feel that some of the things they are listing make them "un-AP". I hope my two cents does not offend anyone, but I feel like it's hard enough trying to tolerate the judgements from people who disagree with or do not understand AP parenting, without adding feelings of inadequacy from our own community. Ok, and for the record I am currently pregnant which could explain why I am reacting so strongly to this thread! LOL


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#89 of 124 Old 07-12-2013, 03:54 PM
 
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Rebbecky - I totally get where you are coming from. I actually said something similar to a couple of the other moderators winky.gif

 

But I think some of the relief comes from browsing some of the forums and seeing one poster so into "AP thing A" and then another poster really into "AP thing B" and then yet another poster who is really great at "NFL thing C" and sometimes there have been posters or threads that have been completely 100% against something... plastic, McDonalds, Walmart all come to mind. I feel like sometimes it get overwhelming when everyone else "seems" to be doing better at this "AP/NFL" thing then you (general you) especially if it's something your life you'd like to do better at but can't. Sometimes the AP/NFLingness of the board is seen as a sum off ALL the posters instead of each individual. I don't know if that makes sense? 
 

 

With that being said...

 

 

AP/NFL is not a one size fits all parenting/living style. But then neither is mainstream parenting/living. Not every child or family fits into the same box. And that's cool. AP is about parenting with intent, about listening to your heart and your child and doing what you feel is best for them, it's about parenting with full awareness and care. And AP is about supporting our children in their needs. And NFL is about living in this world and trying to be a little gentler on Mother Earth and getting back to a more "natural" way of living. AP and NFL can go hand in hand quite well, but they *don't have to* go together either. Some mamas on here are all about the AP and not so much about the NFL, others are the opposite and many more fall somewhere in the middle of one or both categories. 

 

I don't think anyone is feeling less AP for posting on this thread. More the feeling of relief comes from being able to admit that they still feel like they are AP even if they don't do everything that if feels like everyone else does based on browsing the board.

And I've even seen threads (I was on one today) where posters have different ideas of what makes something AP. And that's cool too, my idea of AP may very well be different then Jane Doe's and different again from John Doe's but that doesn't make us any less right within our own families :) 

 


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#90 of 124 Old 07-12-2013, 04:07 PM
 
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Originally Posted by rebbecky View Post

I am a little confused by this thread, and by that I mean that the fact that it is suppose to be a list of our "shortcomings". In my opinion I have always taken an AP/NFL lifestyle as something to generally live by as guidelines, not absolutes. I am in an AP playgroup and have noticed that some parents do cloth diapers and some don't, some have children who go to public school and others homeschool etc, but I do not judge anyone in my group who does not do things exactly as I do. We are all human and do the best that we can and make decisions based on what we feel is best for ourselves and our families. 

 

Maybe I am taking this topic too seriously, but I find it a little disheartening that so many mamas feel that some of the things they are listing make them "un-AP". I hope my two cents does not offend anyone, but I feel like it's hard enough trying to tolerate the judgements from people who disagree with or do not understand AP parenting, without adding feelings of inadequacy from our own community. Ok, and for the record I am currently pregnant which could explain why I am reacting so strongly to this thread! LOL

 

You are so sweet!  I actually totally dislike the label "AP" and usually use in in quotes. I even started a thread on it in the past few years and was so chuffed to see Peggy chiming in with similar feelings. To me, AP is something I fell into because so many of my choices seemed to fit with that label - not the other way around. I only use "AP" here and even then only reluctantly so nothing can make me feel "un-AP", yk?  

 

Also, I think it's important to keep in mind what DB was saying about how we define AP and NFL. You can easily come to NFL from two pretty different perspectives - one from personal health and one from an environmental one. That may get you to about the same place but not quite, yk?  Same with AP. Some of us are motivated by being a change we want to see in the world, others want to raise their children autonomously. Again, that can unify some pretty different folks. 

 

I posted to the thread because I saw it gave so many moms a sense of relief to see what other families were doing. I sympathize with you in that it SUCKS if mamas are feeling badly about their life and the choices they make. Yea, to a certain extent that is a good motivator to do better - for sure. But too much and over relatively small things is such a waste of worry, right?  I'm sure there is some lovely saying about not wasting our guilt on...wait..."Don't sweat the small stuff."  Ha!  

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