Fess up! What do you do that doesn't jive with attachment parenting and/or natural family living? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 124 Old 07-06-2013, 12:27 PM - Thread Starter
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I think most all of us believe that attachment parenting and natural family living is the best way to live and parent. However, there are certainly things that we disagree about and/or things we do not do for a variety of reasons. I'm the first to admit that I am far from the perfect AP/NFL parent and I think it's safe to assume that no one is 100% attachment parenting and natural family living all of the time. And I think that is okay. So, this thread is for sharing our shortcomings. What do you do that isn't AP/NFL?

 

I'll go first.

 

We drive an SUV.

 

We occasionally go to fast food restaurants.

 

We eat very little organic food.

 

We have a chlorinated pool.

 

I had all my babies in the hospital and I had a couple of pain-medicated births.

 

I had ultrasounds.

 

I weaned all my children when they were two, give or take a few months.

 

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#2 of 124 Old 07-06-2013, 12:33 PM
 
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LOL I love this.

 

I let my son watch tv every day

 

we selectively vaccinate

 

eat fast food ( not too often)

 

I can't think of anything else but I am sure there is so much more.

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#3 of 124 Old 07-06-2013, 01:33 PM
 
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I had ultrasounds in all of my pregnancies.

This baby will be born in a hospital (others were at home, but I'd have to have an illegal home birth here, and I'm not entirely comfortable with that).

Delay/selective vax.

My kids are allowed quite a bit of screen time. Not so much television, but devices/computers.

Not all of my cleaners are green. Some - like laundry and dish detergent - are, but toilet cleaners and shower scrub, no.

My kids are currently attending public schools.
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#4 of 124 Old 07-06-2013, 01:34 PM
 
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Before my son was born I was an AWESOME attachment parenting mom. Afterwards, I was like, "Can I get a ROBOT to take care of him?????" Lol.

I try but we are not perfect. He eats sweets every day and we watch a ton of TV. :-)

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#5 of 124 Old 07-06-2013, 01:44 PM
 
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I had ultrasounds in all of my pregnancies.

This baby will be born in a hospital (others were at home, but I'd have to have an illegal home birth here, and I'm not entirely comfortable with that).

Delay/selective vax.

My kids are allowed quite a bit of screen time. Not so much television, but devices/computers.

Not all of my cleaners are green. Some - like laundry and dish detergent - are, but toilet cleaners and shower scrub, no.

My kids are currently attending public schools.


Oh yeah i had so many ultrasounds in my ultra high risk pregnancy as well as pain meds and lots of other meds. during pregnancy and birth

 

Aside from white vinigar none of my cleaners are green

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#6 of 124 Old 07-06-2013, 01:57 PM
 
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This is good.

 

Let's see.

She watches T.V., we all do.  I like T.V., there I said it.  Hate commercials, but like watching some shows, we all do in this little family. (But I also like to have lots of time without the set on, very firm about that.)

We eat a great mix of things and sometimes that includes soda, cookies, chips, candy.  Used to be so hardcore, but couldn't keep up with my own self and actually didn't want to, it's in moderation, but more than it used to be which was none.

 

She has had all rounds of tetanus vax and I don't feel bad about it, might actually get the polio, too.

 

This about sums it up, but I'd say all in all I am way more laid back about everything than I used to be, I do what I want and don't stress out so much as I used to!

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#7 of 124 Old 07-06-2013, 02:31 PM
 
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Love this post! I feel like sometimes we all need a reminder that what we do is normal even if it's not 100% AP/NFL all the time...

I do soooo much that is AP compared to most of my family & friends and then I sometimes feel like I do so little when I compare to other NFLer's.

We too love our TV here. It's on too much sometimes and then not at all other times. I'm ok with it. My kids could count in Spanish before English, my second could count in Japanese for a while too... TV can't be all that bad wink1.gif

We allow junk. And probably go to McD's too much. But it's cold here 6-10 months a year and the only indoor playground.

We live a town driven by oil and gas and we travel a lot by car for things/appt.

Our first child was a typical "baby story" birth, our second was the complete opposite. If/when we manage to have a third, there are no midwives here and I don't feel comfortable birthing alone or with a "traditional birth attendant" so it will be hospital again. I'm ok with that smile.gif

We public school but skip preschool.

We use store bought toilet paper and paper towel and non green cleaners most of the time, although I do like using vinegar and baking soda.

I prefer the ease of store bought feminine products but like having cloth for back up. Same with diapers.
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#8 of 124 Old 07-06-2013, 02:42 PM
 
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Great post! My family all think I am super nuts but I have given in quite a bit, especially now I Have the twins.

Candy at our household! I need it to get through my day!

SUV

Fast food sometimes - it makes me feel horrible but oh those fries feed my soul!

Some not green cleaners- but I never clean so it's okay smile.gif
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#9 of 124 Old 07-06-2013, 02:44 PM
 
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And disposable diapers-I know Im horrible!
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#10 of 124 Old 07-06-2013, 02:50 PM
 
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And disposable diapers-I know Im horrible!

*GASP!!!!!* lol ;-)
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#11 of 124 Old 07-06-2013, 02:55 PM
 
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Jell-o.  (I really love the stuff).  And marsh mallows too, sometimes even the coloured ones.  And my kids hear the word "no" a lot, sometimes at great volume. 
 

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my 2 year old spent an hour playing with the ipad yesterday.  I had to bring him to work with me and it ended a meltdown.  I confess, this was not the first time... not even the first time this week!  eep!!

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#13 of 124 Old 07-06-2013, 03:13 PM
 
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DH and I are movie lovers and we let the boys watch tv a lot. Nothing with commercials, we have DVDs of stuff. I use leappads to keep everyone calm during "quiet time" so I can breathe for a minute. We use sposies at night. 

 

ETA: Oh and we don't allow "unlimited, unrestricted" food. We don't have money to let the kids eat all day and with 3 boys, they would.

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#14 of 124 Old 07-06-2013, 04:25 PM - Thread Starter
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I did disposables for awhile and then discovered the wonderful AIOs. I still used disposables when out and about. innocent.gif orngbiggrin.gif


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#15 of 124 Old 07-06-2013, 06:28 PM
 
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  And my kids hear the word "no" a lot, sometimes at great volume. 
 

Yes, this too! 

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#16 of 124 Old 07-06-2013, 06:50 PM
 
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I sometimes yell, even scream. It feels really good during the adolescent period. Terrible role modeling!
 

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#17 of 124 Old 07-06-2013, 07:10 PM
 
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I had about a bajillion ultrasounds with my last baby (who was my first planned hospital birth) and now she is eating baby food out of pouches because I don't have time to make sure we are eating something she can have with every meal and she likes them.

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#18 of 124 Old 07-06-2013, 07:19 PM
 
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I could probably just copy some of the PPs!

DH and I both drive 4WDs. I *love* my Land Rover.

We used some disposable nappies for our first DD but we have used *all* disposables for DD2.

Too much sugar.

Occasional fast food.

Too much TV.

I am cranky and intolerant of normal 3yo behaviours too often.

I am severely limiting my 3yos breastfeeding due to a profound aversion.

No green cleaners here. I even bought a packet of special wipes to clean the glass shower screen bag.gif

I don't automatically medicate a fever but i don't hesitate to give neurofen if they are feeling miserable.

Some of those I am working on changing but others I'm good with and have no plans to change.
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#19 of 124 Old 07-06-2013, 09:55 PM
 
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Totally going to add...

My kids are long out of diapers... I still buy cases of Huggies baby wipes. They help me keep my house clean.

We are often a bit too loud when it comes to discipline wink1.gif

I bake/decorate cakes and I use regular gel icing colors.

I may be back again...

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#20 of 124 Old 07-07-2013, 05:22 AM
 
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I may be back again...

Me too. I certainly didn't mean to suggest that yelling is the ONLY thing I do!


 
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#21 of 124 Old 07-07-2013, 06:27 AM
 
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I had ultrasounds with my pregnancy, sometimes get loud, my DD is fully vaccinated, I have almost no green cleaners in my home, and most of my dd's toys are plastic (wood has a texture that creeps me out).
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#22 of 124 Old 07-07-2013, 07:24 AM
 
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I say no a lot, but I don't think that jives against being AP. I see people mistaking permissive parenting for AP quite often.

We watch TV and eat sugar.

We used sposies on occasion.

I had 3 hospital births.

I would have an u/s if I had another baby (I can't) because my last had a missed near-previa that even scared my mw when the placenta came out. The first u/s missed it.

We use Western medicine when needed (abx, etc.).
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#23 of 124 Old 07-07-2013, 07:30 AM
 
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  • Okay, my toddler watched 4 Maisey videos on the computer when I needed to pack up the house
  • When I get triggered emotionally, I sometimes forget to mindfully think. The other day My 2 year old grabbed one of his organic squeezy food pouch to eat but I needed to put his bib on so I said"give it to mama please " as I grabbed it and he started to yell while not letting go(squeezed harder) and I said numerous times"give it to me" and he wouldn't so the whole thing got squeezed all over both of us(blueberry...on my new shirt) all because I was being controlling.
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#24 of 124 Old 07-07-2013, 09:54 AM
 
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Oh, yes, disposable wipes of any kind here.  Hiney wipes, cleaning wipes, Swiffer wet pads......I use it all.  And I tell myself it's because I'm "busy."

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#25 of 124 Old 07-07-2013, 09:59 AM
 
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My kids are vaccinated.

I think of myself as being permissive with snacks and unhealthy food but I think I'm actually pretty careful with that. They get a bit of garbage here and there but it's small amounts and occasionally. Maybe I'm middle of the road here.

Public school. I love it.

I'm fine with technology. One of my kids has an iPad and the other has a smaller and less expensive tablet. They don't use them constantly, but they can use them as they wish. The older one uses hers as an e-reader so she uses it pretty often as she reads a LOT.

I will keep thinking about this.
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#26 of 124 Old 07-07-2013, 10:03 AM
 
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Oh, yes, disposable wipes of any kind here.  Hiney wipes, cleaning wipes, Swiffer wet pads......I use it all.  And I tell myself it's because I'm "busy."

One warning on the swiffer wet pads - I got some as a baby present (making cleaning easier) and I did love them until they made my cat sick. She would walk on the floor, clean herself by licking her paws, and get sick. So now I use the swiffer mop thing but I just use rags on made wet it with a less harsh cleaner. (Mother Meyers cleaner.) The pads are awesome for convenience, and cleanliness is important to me and if you need convenience to get there I get it, but watch any pets you have and if they get sick then consider that as a possible source.
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#27 of 124 Old 07-07-2013, 10:05 AM
 
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This morning we have already watched two hours of TV and it is only 10am. Insert smiley with bag over head!!
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#28 of 124 Old 07-07-2013, 10:06 AM
 
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One warning on the swiffer wet pads - I got some as a baby present (making cleaning easier) and I did love them until they made my cat sick. She would walk on the floor, clean herself by licking her paws, and get sick. So now I use the swiffer mop thing but I just use rags on made wet it with a less harsh cleaner. (Mother Meyers cleaner.) The pads are awesome for convenience, and cleanliness is important to me and if you need convenience to get there I get it, but watch any pets you have and if they get sick then consider that as a possible source.

Hm, that is very interesting for 2 reasons.

1.  My dog has been having a paw issue.

2. I just saw at the store the washable re-usable cloth pads that you wet yourself and considered buying a few. 

 

Now I think I will, thanks for the boost!

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#29 of 124 Old 07-07-2013, 10:22 AM
 
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Public school. I love it.

 

I definitely like public school a lot more than I thought I would.  We'll see as years go by if I still stay as happy with it, but for now it's great.

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#30 of 124 Old 07-07-2013, 11:08 AM
 
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Public school. I love it.

 

I definitely like public school a lot more than I thought I would.  We'll see as years go by if I still stay as happy with it, but for now it's great.

 

Me too! I wanted to homeschool so bad, but my health at the time kept me from it. Now? My health is better and I'm loving public school! It doesn't help that homeschooling is being ruined for my by a couple friends and the way they are falling into "sterotypical" traps without realizing it. Of course I have lots of other amazing role models that I would love to follow, but they aren't local. 

My kid LOVES school and I love our school and because of everything else my views have changed to loving public school while loving the ideal of homeschooling but being very happy with where we are!

 

 

Oh and totally editing to add:

 

We do ultrasounds and doppler too! I forgo other stuff in pregnancy but I prefer to have as much information as possible so that we can choose our care accordingly. I like the idea of not doing it, but I need control too much to not :) 

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