Do your little ones have an internet presence? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 7 Old 07-17-2013, 08:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've been thinking a lot about my almost-2 year old's internet presence. There are photos of him on Facebook, photos and stories on my personal blog, and photos on my Flickr account. I suspect this is the case for many of our children. I live far away from my family, so I feel like it's a way to keep them in the loop as he grows and changes. But what about his privacy? Is it disrespectful to post photos of our young children? Should we hold off until they're old enough to give their consent, or is it okay to decide for them when they're under age? At what age should we start to give them a say in the matter?

I'd love to hear your thoughts!
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#2 of 7 Old 07-17-2013, 08:56 PM
 
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I think this could be a really good discussion! My kids are older and make those choices for themselves.


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#3 of 7 Old 07-17-2013, 11:30 PM
 
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Good question. I post photos of my kids on FB (no where else really as I don't have other accounts) for family. I don't use their full names, only their initials, but you could easily find their full first names on my FB if you looked hard enough due to friends or family using them. I haven't posted anything too embarrassing I don't think and I photoshop out stuff that could identify them more specifically.

But it's much easier to post a quick pic on FB than to email it to everyone in our family and since moving away from family this has become more important.

I don't post pictures of other kids on my FB unless I know their parents will be ok with it or they are kids we don't know in the far background or at public events. I try for the most part to take photos of the kids without others in the background as much as possible even though I know it's allowed in public.

My kids actually ask me to post photos of them on FB for family to see. The odd time they've asked me not to post a specific photo and that's cool too. I try not to go overboard though and usually just post a phone photo here and there ~4-6/month. Sometimes I'll take a bunch of photos with my good camera and I'll post 5-10 of those in an album once in awhile smile.gif

I'm sure my oldest will be asking for her own Internet presence sooner or later (later please) and we'll have to help her define what will and won't be allowed for her smile.gif

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#4 of 7 Old 07-18-2013, 07:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Delightedbutterfly- I'm moving in a similar direction. I don't have a camera phone, but I've gone from posting large numbers of photos regularly to a snap here and there. I do use his full first name though. Your policy about posting photos of other kids is a good one. Do you use any filters on your FB? Photos only family can see etc?

You also bring up an interesting point when you mention helping young adults define what their own presence will be. If they're plastered all over the internet from the moment of birth (quite literally!) then does it become harder for us as parents to set boundaries?
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#5 of 7 Old 07-18-2013, 07:37 AM
 
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I totally use filters lol everything I post is "Friends; Except Limited Profile". Limited profile consists of a handful of people that I'm admittedly not ready to unfriend but who don't need to see anything I post. I also sometimes post pics to "Friends; except limited and Aquantainces". I have a broader range in the aquantainces section and I find it helps keeps my most important posts to those who really need to see them and such. But do allow friends of those tagged to see my photos too usually.

My biggest concern for them in the future is that they know what is appropriate to post online and what isn't. Maybe it's silly but I try not to post where I'm going to be too often until *after* it happened, if someone is going to be at the house or such it's a bit different. But I don't like everyone on my FB knowing where I'm going and where I'm going to be and when my house is empty (although I don't know many people here). I want them to be aware and have a "respectful fear?" of the Internet and use it in a responsible manner as such. Not everyone needs to know you are going to be at this movie theater at such and such time and then walking over to so and so's house while their parents are gone... But putting your two cents in and raving or hating on the movie you just saw with your awesome cool friends and can't wait for a fun evening ahead? Sure to ahead! Same with pictures, sure post something fun you did, but not every outfit in a bathroom selfie with the toilet up wink1.gif I hope I can help them find that happy balance between respect for the 'net and too much information wink1.gif

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#6 of 7 Old 07-18-2013, 09:15 AM
 
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I make extensive use of the list system FB sets up, and only certain Friends have access to my family's photos (I created my own list called "Sharing photos".  I don't use the FB lists.)  I do use their names in that context.  My girls also like me to post on FB, but I'm not sure they fully understand the implications of the site.  I never post anything, photo or otherwise, potentially embarrassing for them.  I don't upload the entire contents of my 4GB memory card.  I don't bitch about my kids on FB (or anyone else for that matter).  I also respect other people's kids as much as possible.  I did post a couple of really sweet pictures of my girls with friends they met camping and at day camp, but the girls were unidentified (and not even local).  Generally, I avoid doing that but these were just about the cutest pictures of my girls ever.  I am cautious about the "likes", tags and shares because they give other people access to my photos.  Sometimes, when people "like" a photo, it shows up in their friend's news feed.  Not so much anymore, but I've de-listed a friend who liked every single photo I posted.  AACK!  My theory is that those people whose photos show up have insufficient privacy filters?  I hope.  

 

I think in some way, this generation is going to grow up less bothered by all the exposure.  I get some comfort in knowing that their pictures are one of possibly trillions floating out there.

 

What if they grow up wanting to drop off the grid entirely?  I've been through that in the days before social media and I understand. But for now they enjoy sharing the photos and the posts about them.  They know who sees them, and we see their stuff, too.  


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#7 of 7 Old 07-18-2013, 09:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I definitely need to make better use of the lists on FB.

SweetSilver, I know what you mean about people liking and sharing your photos. I'm never quite sure what can be seen by all on FB, and what can't. And you're right about the sheer volume of kid pictures floating around on the internet. And people are already way de-sensitized to internet exposure; it is a whole different world!
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