I'm on an Alfie Kohn kick lately, so I'd like to talk about praise a bit. As in, why we shouldn't praise our kids! This always makes parents new to the idea do a double take, but please read a few things and then really think about it, and maybe we can get a discussion going.
Here's kind of an introductory article called Five Reasons to Stop Saying "Good Job"
http://www.alfiekohn.org/parenting/gj.htm
And then here's an article where he clarifies that he doesn't mean to praise less, or to use more meaningful praise than "good job", or to praise effort rather than ability, or that the reason he doesn't like praise is because it makes kids get spoiled. He simply thinks praise is bad. http://www.alfiekohn.org/f_news/fullnews.php?fn_id=5
And then here's an interview. http://life.familyeducation.com/discipline/parenting/36516.html
The overall idea is that praise is part of behaviorism, and that behaviorism in general is manipulative and hurtful to kids. So this would include punishment, rewards, sticker charts, etc. He feels that praising kids teaches kids that they're valuable only when they're doing what we want, and that it has some bad long-term consequences (talked about in the articles.)
So, what do you think? Do you praise? Do you try not to?
Here's kind of an introductory article called Five Reasons to Stop Saying "Good Job"
http://www.alfiekohn.org/parenting/gj.htm
And then here's an article where he clarifies that he doesn't mean to praise less, or to use more meaningful praise than "good job", or to praise effort rather than ability, or that the reason he doesn't like praise is because it makes kids get spoiled. He simply thinks praise is bad. http://www.alfiekohn.org/f_news/fullnews.php?fn_id=5
And then here's an interview. http://life.familyeducation.com/discipline/parenting/36516.html
The overall idea is that praise is part of behaviorism, and that behaviorism in general is manipulative and hurtful to kids. So this would include punishment, rewards, sticker charts, etc. He feels that praising kids teaches kids that they're valuable only when they're doing what we want, and that it has some bad long-term consequences (talked about in the articles.)
So, what do you think? Do you praise? Do you try not to?