Any ol' time is good with you or will you influence them to wait until they are out of the house? Personally D.S. can color his hair anytime he wants, although he hasn't, and I don't think he will. But as long as I didn't spread the hair dye alllllll over the bathroom (sorry about that mom!) I could color it any time and any color.
What about you? how old were you when you colored your hair? I would especially LOOOVE to see pics! I might be able to dig a couple of me up.
I was probably 14ish the first time I colored my hair.
I will let DD whenever she wants to, although I won't lie- I typically don't like hair color on little kids at all. But, I won't stop her if that's what she wants to do with her hair.
My stylist is against it for kids because she says the skin on their heads isn't as thick as adult skin so we are holding off until DD is in her mid teens. She uses the hair chalk all the time though and loves it. I don't care what color she does.
When they can pay for it themselves, be in charge of the total process (including clean up) without any help from me, and can understand the consequences. Before that, they could use food coloring. In general, mid to late teens.
I think it depends on the method used. Kool-aid or chalk wouldn't be a bit deal to me when they could understand that it could take a bit for it to wash out. Temporary gel or spray type colors would be more of a "convince me" type deal. But a full out change your hair color dye job? Yeah pay for it yourself. Highlights? I could maybe be convinced a bit earlier and to help pay for.
It's just hair but the chemicals worry me on little bodies. Hair cuts I'd probably be more lenient on, although it would really bug me, I'd still say yes
Theoretically, I'm ok with my kids having any color hair they want as soon as they are old enough to express an opinion. I already let them cut their hair however they want, including mohawks for the boys (the girls have never wanted them, but I'd probably let them if they were really sure).
Realistically, I reserve the right to insist on short hair, or deny hair color (or any other privilege) if someone refuses to care for their own hair (ie, washing and brushing on a regular basis). I would also take how harsh the chemicals are into consideration; hair chalks and such are fine for little kids, but I'd wait for them to be older to consider bleaching and permanent dye. Finally, I am not at all good at dying hair myself, so I expect them to either be able to do it themselves, ask a friend to do it, convinced Daddy to do it, or pay a stylist to do it (with their own money).
My 15yo DD has been dying her hair for a couple of years now. Sometimes she does it at home, sometimes her other mom takes her to get it done, and sometimes I take her and she pays for it out of her allowance. I don't care what color she dyes it, although I have said that I don't think black would be flattering on her. My little girls occasionally play with hair chalk, but that's it.
My then 3yo wanted purple and pink hair. We used Punky Colours and only did a section framing her face and kept it well off her scalp. She loved it and has done it several times since!
The youngest was of my kids was when they dyed their hair was 3. We do temporary color like Manic Panic and it washes out in a week or two. No big deal. I don't get stressed over that. I won't allow my kids to do permanent dye until they are at LEAST 18 but temporary is fun and let's them change things up and express themselves. I also don't get bothered by haircuts they want. I have one who has a chin-length bob and one who told me today that she wanted to grow it all the way "out the door" like Rapun*el(that key is broken on my keyboard). We compromised on maintaining it once it reaches her bum so that it can all fit in the shower to be washed.
But if they wanna cut their hair, do chalk, dye it with semi-perm dye, I'm good with that. No bleach, nothing permanent.
My oldest DD was surprised to learn that other kids have to worry about school dress codes when dying their hair. She couldn't understand why anyone would care!
My oldest DD was surprised to learn that other kids have to worry about school dress codes when dying their hair. She couldn't understand why anyone would care!
Yeah, my kids were the same way. Our school has a dress code policy against anything but naturally colored hair and hairstyles. HOWEVER my daughter had purples streaks for a long time last year and nothing happened. And her best friend started school this year(third grade) with a whole head of purple and blue. And I know for a fact that this little girl also had no trouble with the dress code. So I don't know if they really DO care very much even though it's in the dress code.
My kids had highlights and streaks done at a salon when they were about 8 or 9 y.o. They had fun trying to dye with Kool-Aid at about the same age. Their hair is dark though, so it didn't take very well.
They were both about 16 y.o. before they tried a complete dye job, with first bleaching out their natural colour and then using the dye. That's about the age when I figure it's really up to them. At that point, I've warned them about the problems of chemicals, over-processing and so on. They both used dyes from the pharmacy at about that age. DS had various coloured (at different times he tried bright blue, dark green and red - not all those colours at the same time) liberty spikes in his last couple of years of high school. A couple of years ago, DD had a purple underlayer. Last year, when she was 16 y.o, she had bright pink hair for most of the year.
They are 20 and 17 y.o. now and both have their hair back to their natural colours now.
I was about 40 or so when I first dyed my hair. I dyed it to cover grey, so it was basically getting it back to my natural colour. I gave up on that about 6 years ago and let the grey come in.
I have never dyed my hair, but I have always liked the color. I have done the one-wash out dip dyes for just the ends. Our rule is that you have to have a dress code appropriate hair cot for school, but during the summer you can do whatever you want. Last summer he grew it out long, this summer I gave him a mohawk and his Uncle dyed it blue with Jello. He is a natural blond, so no bleaching was required. Both my sisters have dyed their hair frequently, and my mom started cover her gray in her late 20s.
So hair stuff is fine, tattoos and piercings will have to wait until he is 18 (and his daddy will keep praying he never wants them)
Anything he wants to do with his hair is fine with me. He currently has longish (about shoulder length) hair because that's how he prefers it. I was allowed to color my hair however I liked starting at about age 12 and it was a big deal for me; I think it's important to allow kids personal freedom when it comes to fashion choices. Here's a current pic of his long hair.
I think it's okay for kids to dye their hair whenever they wish. Yes, it's chemicals and not great, but you can always get the Henna products for natural colors or just dye the tips with dye if you don't want the chemicals directly on the head. I do my own tips blonde and my 9 yr old has done hers blue. An alternative too would be hair chalking if you don't want to use chemicals at all.
Yeah, I struggle much more with the idea of tattoos and piercings. I know it's their body and their autonomy and their choice, but I really resist the idea. I don't even mind tattoos and multiple piercings on other people, so the inconsistency is kinda crazy. In comparison, agreeing or supporting hair colouring is easy for me.
I'm ok with hair colouring at any age but I would place some restrictions on the chemicals for little ones. I'm also ok with any haircut once they are able to understand that it will have to grow out and probably can't be fixed immediately if they don't like it.
Piercings are fine once they're old enough to look after them. The exception is ones which can damage teeth. Those will have to wait until they're old enough to consent themselves (and then pay for the dentist).
Anything that requires my signature and/or permission comes with my being ok with it. Since I don't approve of tattoos or body piercings, I won't sign for them. Those will have to wait until they are adults and don't need parental permission. Respecting one's beliefs and personal feelings/hang ups goes both ways. Hair cuts, hair dye are temporary. I will pay for the first set of ear piercings and will sign for (but not pay for) the second and third set.
None of my girls expressed an interest in dying their hair until High School. My youngest has no interest in it at this time, she's in 8th grade but it would be fine with me if she wanted colors etc.
My oldest one did have permission to dye her own hair, but she nearly destroyed our downstairs bathroom with black dye once. It looked like she "flipped" her hair with the dye on it, and everything had black dye all over it. She was around 15 at the time, so we had to make a rule that she could dye her hair..... but not in my house. I still have permanent black dye on that ceiling and it's been more than 10 years and a new paint job... it just seeps through the paint.
My middle girl started dying her hair in late High School. She has light brown hair and went bleach blonde (for only a few days) then candy apple red, and now, when she began to look for serious jobs (she's in Grad School now) she keeps the color more muted.
It was her own choice to go with less vibrant colors so she could get a good job as a Librarian. My dh and I had nothing to do with this decision, but she was more interested in the idea of a good job opportunity than having unusual hair. I don't know if it would have made a difference, but it was up to her.
As for piercings and tattoos, our state has a law that nothing can be done in a tattoo parlor on people under 18 years of age with an ID. I wanted my youngest dd's ears pierced (she did too) and knew that professional piercers do a better job than the plastic gun at places like Claires. We couldn't get it done in a tattoo parlor, so we did go to a Mall jewelry shop. She ended up with a lot of problems with skin growing over the earring back, infections even with good care so she let them close up and will have then redone when she can have it done in a proper parlor in a tattoo and piercing shop.
Our middle dd has a number of holes in her ears, lots of cartilage piercings and an Industrial, and had them done in a tattoo and piercing parlor. None of my kids ever wanted face piercings, for which I am grateful for. Not that I have anything to do with pp who have facial piercings, I just worry about future job opportunities being compromised. I don't even know IF it would cause a problem, but she is very serious about her career and made the decision herself.
I do love the multi colored hair in the above posts. Very pretty.
The same reason I won't have a boob job just because I hate my small breasts (an ongoing issue for me!). Yes hair color is temporary, but the heart attitude is what I worry about. As children, I don't want them looking at any area of their God given bodies and changing it because they think it's ugly. Changing their hair color because they think it's fun to try something new, I'm OK with that. Even I do that. That to me is like buying a new outfit. I used the word hate to imply strong dissatisfaction in how God made them. For example, my 5 year old tells me she HATES her curls. She even comments on other people's curls telling me she doesn't like them. For some reason she is self-conscious, even at the tender age of 5, about her curls. I don't know why. But what I won't do, is go out and buy her a hair straightener. (When she's older if she comes to me with another reason of why she wants to straighten her hair I'll be fine with it, if it's something like "you know mom, it's difficult to get these curls into a pony every day, can I try straightening them?" vs. "curls are just so ugly I hate the way I look!") Yes it's just hair and this will probably never be a big issue in our house, but since you asked for an explanation there it is! We are a conservative Christian family and we place huge value on being content with the bodies God gave us, including everything down to hair color.
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Related Threads
?
?
?
?
?
Mothering Forum
16.5M posts
285.1K members
Since 1996
A forum community dedicated to all mothers and inclusive family living enthusiasts. Come join the discussion about nurturing, health, behavior, housing, adopting, care, classifieds, and more!