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#1 of 69 Old 09-18-2013, 03:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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 I call my parents by their first names almost exclusively with the exception being the occasional "Gramma says hi" kind of thing to D.S. How about you? What do your kids call you and what do you call your parents?


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#2 of 69 Old 09-18-2013, 08:41 PM
 
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Kids call us "mom" and "dad". For grandparents, it's grandma firstname and grandpa firstname. 

 

I personally don't want my children to call me by my first name on a routine basis. It sounds jarring to my ears. 


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#3 of 69 Old 09-18-2013, 09:31 PM
 
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My DD calls me mama and that is what my brother and I call my mother. I don't think it is a big deal for other families to do different things but I can't imagine not having a name that only my brother and I use for my mom or not having a name only my child calls me.
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#4 of 69 Old 09-19-2013, 06:46 AM
 
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Do you mean what do we call our parents to our kids? or what name do we ourselves use for our own parents?

 

My oldest son has called me by my first name since he was about 5. He calls his paternal grandmother by her first name (as does her own children)...when he was little he called my mom "Grandma Grandma" and pat grandma "Grandma Firstname" but as he got older it was just "Grandma" and "Firstname"

 

My younger three call me "Mom" or "Mommy"....they do not have paternal grandparents but call my mother "Grandma." 

 

When i am speaking to my children about my mother i say "Grandma" unless its my oldest son and his other grandma i say "Firstname"....


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#5 of 69 Old 09-19-2013, 07:04 AM
 
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I called my parent "Mom" and "Dad". 

 

20 y.o. DS calls us "Mom" and "Dad". 17 y.o. DD says "Mom" or "Mommy" and "Dad" or "Daddy". When he was small, DS called me "MumMum". When she was small, DD said "Momma" and "Dadda".  I miss that a lot but it would be a little odd to hear it from adult children. 

 

When he was about 2 or 3 y.o., DS went through a phase of using our first names. It was cute but didn't last. Totally understandable - our first names were what he heard everyone else call us, so why not use them himself? If he stuck with it, I would have accepted it. 

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#6 of 69 Old 09-19-2013, 08:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Do you mean what do we call our parents to our kids? or what name do we ourselves use for our own parents?

 

My oldest son has called me by my first name since he was about 5. He calls his paternal grandmother by her first name (as does her own children)...when he was little he called my mom "Grandma Grandma" and pat grandma "Grandma Firstname" but as he got older it was just "Grandma" and "Firstname"

 

My younger three call me "Mom" or "Mommy"....they do not have paternal grandparents but call my mother "Grandma." 

 

When i am speaking to my children about my mother i say "Grandma" unless its my oldest son and his other grandma i say "Firstname"....

I would love to hear both. I called my grandparents gramma and grampa (both sets.) and great grand parents great gramma and grampa, when referring to them. But when speaking to them I would call them various names depending on the language that was being spoken at the time, Polish, German, Russian, Yiddish, etc.  You get the idea gramma was Oma to her but gramma about her.


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#7 of 69 Old 09-19-2013, 04:10 PM
 
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I've always told my children that I worked hard for the title of "mama" and they best call me by my fancy title!  I'm mama or mom at this point and their father is daddy.  We use fairly traditional words for grandparents as well.  Grandpa, Grandma, Uma(from a child who couldn't say grandma as a baby), Papa.  We have an Auntie and a Nani(again, another child couldn't say Auntie and it turned into Nani).  Friends we see frequently are given titles of Miss/Mr.  Our old neighbors are Miss Shannon and Mr. Jason.  There are only a couple of people in our lives that my children call by their first names.  I've  taught them that titles are a sign of respect and that even mama uses them when addressing people like their teaches, etc and I expect them to as well.  I know the argument is that children are being thought "less" of by being made to refer to people as ma'am and sir and Miss and Mr but I have never had an adult be offended by the titles I ask my children to call them.  I don't ask other children to call me Miss but I ask my own children to call others that.  Just because I expect it of my children doesn't mean that others do and I understand that.

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#8 of 69 Old 09-19-2013, 04:20 PM
 
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I'm mom. My mom is Ginko because LO couldn't say grandma and was calling her mom. So a group decision was Ginko. She loves having a special name. Great grandma is called "Ginko with a stick", she has a cane and LO is in awe that she gets to take a stick with her everywhere she goes.
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#9 of 69 Old 09-19-2013, 04:48 PM
 
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I would never call my parents by their first name, my children never will, and I expect other children to call me Miss____ or Mrs.____. 


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#10 of 69 Old 09-19-2013, 04:59 PM
 
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My brother and I were brought up calling our parents by their first names...we still do.  All our cousins call their parents by their first names, too.  For some reason our younger sister calls our folks "mom" and "dad"-- weird, why does she do that?

Our daughter calls us Mommy and Daddy, with similarly normal variations for the grandparents.  I think it is sweet!  I love being a Mommy!

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#11 of 69 Old 09-19-2013, 05:50 PM
 
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I would never call my parents by their first name, my children never will, and I expect other children to call me Miss____ or Mrs.____. 

 

Miss/Mrs Firstname or Lastname?

 
I kind of hate the whole "Miss Julie" thing unless my kid is talking to a preK teacher. Mrs Julie sounds even weirder to me. I'd much rather use a first name alone or Mrs Jones. (When i was growing up we called all our friends' parents by last name not first) Thats just personal preference of mine. I teach my kids to call people what they prefer to be called as its the polite thing to do. 

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#12 of 69 Old 09-19-2013, 06:47 PM
 
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So far, my son doesn't call me anything. The kid can give a recognizable rendition of the word blueberry, but not mama. shrug.gif I will expect him to call me mom/mommy/mama or something similar until I'm dead. Then, I suppose, he can call me what he likes! Same for dh.

 

When I talk to my parents in front of my son, I typically refer to them as Grandma and Grandpa. (Sometimes I even refer to them this way when my son isn't around!) If he isn't involved, I usually just call them Mom and Dad. Well, I also call my mom Lady sometimes (as in, "Hey lady!"), and have since I was in junior high. I refer to my husband's parents by their first names when my son isn't there, and usually Grandma and Grandpa when he is. My husband does the same, but reversed, obviously. I guess we will see what my son calls his grandparents as he gets older, but we would certainly not encourage him to call them by their first name only. (Grandma/Grandpa Firstname would be fine, if it's fine with our parents, which it probably would be.) I refer to my own grandparents as Grandma/Grandpa Lastname.


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#13 of 69 Old 09-19-2013, 07:03 PM
 
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I call my parents "mum" and "dad". Our 3yo calls us mum/mummy/mama and dad/daddy. She occasionally calls us by our first names and we also have "play names", mine is "cloud", bestowed by her.

She calls my parents "Nanma" and "Tanpa" which are her versions of grandma and grandpa and which we now all love and are teaching to our second baby. Occasionally she gets mixed up and calls them mum and dad but usually corrects herself. She also occasionally calls them by their first names but it's fairly rare.

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#14 of 69 Old 09-19-2013, 07:06 PM
 
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I call my parents "mom" and "dad".  Daughter doesn't speak yet.

 

I think of my old co-worker's story who had no real game plan or preference for what her kids called her--she just wanted her husband to call her by her name and not refer to her as "mom".  Thus, her oldest called her by her first name until preschool when he realized no one else called their mothers by their first name.  So he switched to "mom" and that set the pattern for his siblings.


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#15 of 69 Old 09-19-2013, 07:52 PM
 
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My mom would croak if I called her by her first name, but since I was a teenager I routinely have called my grandparents by their first names when staying with them, because they're not really in the habit of listening for "Grandmom" and "Granddad" and therefore it's the best way to get their attention. Similarly, my 2-year-old now calls them by their first names as well. They introduced themselves to her that way. *shrug*. Also when I am hanging around them I refer to my parents by their first names, though I don't use them to their face.

 

As for my kid, we went through a very short period of her using our first names, but now she's back to Mommy and Daddy. I wouldn't get too bent out of shape if she wanted to use my first name though. I mean, what matters is our relationship with each other, not a name. 

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#16 of 69 Old 09-19-2013, 08:25 PM
 
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No way. My name is mom to them!
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#17 of 69 Old 09-19-2013, 10:04 PM
 
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My 4 year-old calls is just as likely to call me Mommy as she is to call me by name (whenever) or Mommy "name" (usually when we're in public with other mothers). Yes, my child calls me by my first name. No, it doesn't bother/offend/matter in the least. It is, afterall, my name.

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#18 of 69 Old 09-20-2013, 12:55 AM
 
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Kids call me Mama/Mom (or Moooooooaaahhhhmmmm ;-) ). Dh is Papa. The older kids call us by first names or "MomFirstname" in large groups where just "mom" will cause ten heads to swivel. They've never tried using our first names otherwise. I don't think I would like it; as a pp said- I earned the title thankyouverymuch! I probably wouldn't be bothered enough to forbid it though.
My mother is Mom. I tried calling her Firstname as a kid, she disliked it enough to not respond to it. They hated me trying "Ma & Pa" during the Little House phase even more! I did call my stepdad by his first name only because I was 16 when they married and it didn't occur to me to address him as Dad. He was a great Dad to me...now I wish I had, it would have meant a lot to him, I think.
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#19 of 69 Old 09-20-2013, 01:29 AM
 
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We will be "Mommy and Daddy" or "Mom and Dad"...I am so excited to be a mom in a few months and have a new name that only my child calls me...I can't imagine ever calling my own parents by their first names either.  I am however excited to see how she/he will name her grandparents...We plan on having them call them Grandma firstname and Grandpa firstname....but it seems like most little kids have trouble with Grandma and Grandpa...I look forward to seeing if she/he comes up with something adorable to substitute!

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#20 of 69 Old 09-20-2013, 03:54 AM
 
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My 4 year-old calls is just as likely to call me Mommy as she is to call me by name (whenever) or Mommy "name" (usually when we're in public with other mothers). Yes, my child calls me by my first name. No, it doesn't bother/offend/matter in the least. It is, afterall, my name.

 

The same here.  It's been that way for a couple years.  I don't mind and I don't think it's a form of disrespect.

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#21 of 69 Old 09-20-2013, 04:53 AM
 
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Miss/Mrs Firstname or Lastname?

 
I kind of hate the whole "Miss Julie" thing unless my kid is talking to a preK teacher. Mrs Julie sounds even weirder to me. I'd much rather use a first name alone or Mrs Jones. (When i was growing up we called all our friends' parents by last name not first) Thats just personal preference of mine. I teach my kids to call people what they prefer to be called as its the polite thing to do. 

 

I'm assuming(since it's that way with us too) that it's Miss Jane or Mrs. Doe.  My children's friends usually just call me by my first name but there are a small handful that use Miss in front of my first name.  I prefer not being called Mrs. Lastname so I'll correct that.  However, I expect my children to use Miss or Mr. or Mrs. as appropriate.  I introduce people to my children as "This is Miss Jane and Mr. John.  Even though my FIL has told me that I don't need to, I still knock before I enter their house because I see it as a sign of respect.  It's not my home.  I'll continue to knock every time and he think it's pretty amusing since he's told me several times just to walk in.  Other people do it.  But I won't.  I expect people to knock before they enter my home as well.  


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#22 of 69 Old 09-20-2013, 05:08 AM
 
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When I was pregnant with my firstborn, my husband and I decided that we would teach our children to call us Mama and Papa. That's what they do, and they call my mother Grandma (first name) according to her preference - same with my paternal grandmother - and they call their paternal grandparents Grandma and Grandpa (last name) according to their preference.

 

Slightly related: we are trying to teach them to call other adults by their last names, like Mrs. (last name) or Mr. (last name) or Ms. (last name) or Father (last name) with the exception of Sister (first name).


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#23 of 69 Old 09-20-2013, 09:00 AM
 
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I'm assuming(since it's that way with us too) that it's Miss Jane or Mrs. Doe.  My children's friends usually just call me by my first name but there are a small handful that use Miss in front of my first name.  I prefer not being called Mrs. Lastname so I'll correct that.  However, I expect my children to use Miss or Mr. or Mrs. as appropriate.  I introduce people to my children as "This is Miss Jane and Mr. John.  Even though my FIL has told me that I don't need to, I still knock before I enter their house because I see it as a sign of respect.  It's not my home.  I'll continue to knock every time and he think it's pretty amusing since he's told me several times just to walk in.  Other people do it.  But I won't.  I expect people to knock before they enter my home as well.  

 

It would be seen as bizarre for any of us kids to knock before entering my mother's home...this is the home we grew up in. Does your husband also knock before entering his dad's home? I can totally see given different circumstances why you would do that, but it certainly isnt a lack of respect if other's do not knock before entering the grandparents home....one might say it shows the closeness/comfort level/sense of familiarity with one another esp if one is talking about the childhood home. I think mostly its just a matter of recognizing that different families have different ways of doing things and doesnt need to have deeper meaning. I could totally see your FIL wondering to himself why you continue to knock despite him telling you repeatedly you dont have to. If anything you're putting him out by making him have to get up and answer the door. ;)

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#24 of 69 Old 09-20-2013, 09:04 AM
 
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I have kind of a weird relationship with my parents. So while they have told me that I can walk right in, most of the time I feel more comfortable knocking. (Also, they no longer live in the house where I grew up.) They took away my house keys pretty much the minute I left for college (and kind of begrudged me having them in high school, I might add). My husband still has his parents' house keys, despite having left home nearly 20 years ago and now living 600 miles away. 

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#25 of 69 Old 09-20-2013, 09:05 AM
 
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It would be seen as bizarre for any of us kids to knock before entering my mother's home...this is the home we grew up in. Does your husband also knock before entering his dad's home? I can totally see given different circumstances why you would do that, but it certainly isnt a lack of respect if other's do not knock before entering the grandparents home....one might say it shows the closeness/comfort level/sense of familiarity with one another esp if one is talking about the childhood home. I think mostly its just a matter of recognizing that different families have different ways of doing things and doesnt need to have deeper meaning. I could totally see your FIL wondering to himself why you continue to knock despite him telling you repeatedly you dont have to. If anything you're putting him out by making him have to get up and answer the door. ;)

When I moved out of my parents home, they asked me to knock before coming in.  I kind of took offense to it, but it's their house, their rules.  It was a weird transition. 


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#26 of 69 Old 09-20-2013, 09:08 AM
 
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I'm assuming(since it's that way with us too) that it's Miss Jane or Mrs. Doe.  My children's friends usually just call me by my first name but there are a small handful that use Miss in front of my first name.  I prefer not being called Mrs. Lastname so I'll correct that.  However, I expect my children to use Miss or Mr. or Mrs. as appropriate.  I introduce people to my children as "This is Miss Jane and Mr. John.  Even though my FIL has told me that I don't need to, I still knock before I enter their house because I see it as a sign of respect.  It's not my home.  I'll continue to knock every time and he think it's pretty amusing since he's told me several times just to walk in.  Other people do it.  But I won't.  I expect people to knock before they enter my home as well.  

Yes that is what I meant.  One of the reasons for this is because a friend told their children to just call me by my first name, and those children were disrespectful towards me.  They were the only ones.  So in my experience, the Ms. or Mrs. does matter as far as behavior.  I could be reading too much into it, but I still prefer that sign of respect by other children.  I actually prefer Mrs. lastname.  I refer to all other adults as Mrs. lastname when talking about them to my children.  If an adult told me "oh they can call me by my first name!", I still wouldn't have them do it.  I just don't think it's appropriate, but I guess I'm kind of old-fashioned...in my 20's, but old-fashioned, lol. 


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#27 of 69 Old 09-20-2013, 09:14 AM
 
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So many of my friends have stated that it feels weird to them to be Miss or Mr to kids and they prefer first names, so it seems weird to me to automatically use titles, particularly for anyone around my age. We hang out with our friend Dave nearly every week and he stated he felt weird about being "Mr Dave" and would rather we just use his first name. I grew up Quaker and Quakers are not big on titles, so most of the grownups we hung around growing up we called by first names. I think the issue is kids learning respect, not learning to use titles. That said, if someone did request that I teach my daughter to address them by a title, I would. And if addressing someone of an older generation who is more used to that form of address, I would use that as the default. I don't correct others if they choose either form of title for me to their own kids. I might if I got really familiar with the kids. 

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#28 of 69 Old 09-20-2013, 09:55 AM
 
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My kids, there are 5 soon to be 6 of them, call me mom, mommy, mama, and ma but if they really want my attention they call me by my first name! It works every time. I must admit, that over the years I have started to tune out the repetitive calls of mom. However I respond to my name every time. :duckIt never bothers me. My kids call adults by whatever the adult had indicted they would like to be called. 


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#29 of 69 Old 09-20-2013, 11:19 AM
 
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I think its disrespectful. I have noticed my son and friends son do it out of spite. My son is grown and a twin and still a bit angry with me about life. It hurts my feelings. You only get one set of bio parents and maybe a few steps. Families are sacred and forever.

I do not love it and grew up in the 60s when it was running wild to have no boundaries.

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#30 of 69 Old 09-20-2013, 12:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Spindlewood View Post
 

I think its disrespectful. 

 

I think it is respectful to address people as they prefer to be addressed, but there is nothing inherently disrespectful about using first names. Any name can be said with respect (or without it). I have called my parents by their first names since I was a toddler, although my two younger siblings called the Mom and Dad. My parents were fine with either. My son calls me by my first name and has since he was about three. He calls my parents by their first names too- which is fine by them. My father actually prefers it to being called Grandpa. 

mamazee and HappyHappyMommy like this.

Writing, reading, unschooling. 

Cassidy68 is offline  
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