Here's what I did:
I was visiting my friend, we were like three years old, and her mom told us to draw, and gave us a couple of these bottles with the paint that one normally uses to paint the walls with.
We though, mmmh. Painting is a bit boring, sliding would be fun, though, so we got out of our cloth (no getting dirty rule!) and emptied all of the bottles on the (kitchen)floor. About 5 - 6 bottles, I think. And then we were sliding. And I still remember the fun :)
Her mom was very permissive, so she did not actually kill us when she found us and her kitchen covered in mud-coloured paint from the floor to the walls to the kitchen counters. I even have a picture of it :)
I still wonder how on earth she managed to clean it ...
Trin with DH , DD(7) and DS(5) , DD(2) , , (due 5/14)
I am not regularly online at the moment due to the above ...
My two older daughters are 13 and 11 years older than their baby sister. When baby sister was a toddler, and they were teens, they thought it was funny to "put make up on the baby." As long as they washed her off afterward, I didn't care, but warned them to keep their make up out of little hands' way.
One day I was folding laundry and baby exited the room, was very quiet and gone too long. I found her in her sister's room, she had gouged massive amounts of blush, eye shadow etc out of the containers and rubbed it all over her face. The make up was fairly ruined.
My older girls never played "put make up on the baby" ever again.
when my oldest was about two and a half i found him in the bathroom stripped naked, surrounded by a nest of pastel wrappers from a box of HUGE heavy flow/overnight pads, the kind you use after a birth. he had them all stuck to his little naked body and he looked up at me with the most serious expression on his face and said in a dramatic whisper mama, i have so many bad ouchies. i might just bleed to death. when i stopped laughing a took about a thousand pictures.
Shredded a head of lettuce into tiny, tiny pieces. It's so hard to pick up wet little pieces of lettuce especially when they have started to dry on the hard floor.
A tub of Vaseline, all over the baby, and the carpet around her.
A roll of TP thrown into the bathtub that had not yet been drained of water. Totally dissolved. Had to fish out chunks with the strainer.
Shredded a styrofoam chunk that has come out of a package. I had tiny tiny little balls of styrofoam all over everything in the house, stuck on there by static, for months.
An entire box of 100 count pantyliners stuck onto the walls and doors.
I keep reading these, laughing and trying to pick my brains for other good messes my kids have made. Then it occurred to me: the two biggest messes in my life as a mother, I've made myself. "Hey, Mom's too quiet. We'd better check what she's gotten into..."
1- While painting an accent color in my oldest sons' bedroom, some 15 years ago, it seemed silly to pour out such a little bit of paint into a pan, so I was just dipping my brush in the gallon can. I was afraid to put the can on the paint-tray shelf of my ladder, in case it fell. So I left it on the floor and was dipping, stepping up the ladder to paint, then stepping back down to dip again. Except I lost my balance on the dismount and knocked over the 3/4-full gallon of brightly-colored paint on the brand-new carpet. Of my newly-renovated, rented house.
You'd be surprised how well it came out, with wet towels, a scrub brush, carpet shampoo and a wet-vac. Only a small, dull spot remained - in the end, not enough to consume my entire damage deposit!
2- We're a blended family and our older 3 always spend spring break traveling to fun places with their other parents. Our poor 5-year-old has married parents and thus a boring life. So, last spring break he and I accompanied my husband on a business trip, for fun. Before we left, I had found something called "Squishy Baff" on clearance at Aldi and bought it, to keep my son entertained in the hotel room, at night. If a product marketed to British kids winds up in the clearance bin at the deepest-discount food chain in the US, DON'T BUY IT.
The packaging shows kids in a tub FULL of colorful goo and promises easy clean-up, using table salt to convert the goo back into water. So I brought some salt. Sitting there in the bathroom, with my son in the tub, having promised him a "squishy baff", I read the directions more closely and realized it's really only meant to be used in about a gallon of water - which is no fun, in a bathtub. So I poured in the entire contents of the Squishy Baff package and filled up the tub with several inches of water (i.e., many gallons). After all, I had a lot of salt.
As best I can tell, the salt does not work. I could not let all that goo go down the hotel drain - it felt Wrong, plus I feared they'd realize we were the ones who ruined their plumbing, and they had our credit card #. I stretched an old T-shirt over the toilet, under the seat, and scooped the tub contents into it, using the shirt as a sieve to catch the goo. It was horrible and took FOREVER! We wound up with 2 trash cans full of pink goo.
The haircut stories are hysterical!
DS doesn't seem to have the "naughty" gene (yet) and the only thing I remember is when he was around a year old, I found him sitting on the bathroom floor chugging a container of Comet. I turned my back for literally seconds and he got the door open, found the Comet and went to town. He was covered in Comet, as was the bathroom floor.
I was almost hysterical when I called Poison Control. Turns out, Comet isn't all that harmful. They were more concerned about it getting into his lungs than any he may ingested.
My kids made pizza dough on the living room rug with a 5 pound bag of flour and a litre of olive oil.
And yep, that rug went into the dumpster.
Frugal, food growing mama to my four loves
My sons, about 3 and 5 at the time, broke the blinds in their room in our rented house and eventually took it off the window. It is now in pieces in their closet until either we move out or we face the landlord and ask him what he wants us to do about it. (He was already hesitant to rent to a family with children last year, so thankfully he's been very good to us.)
This just makes my blood boil. Discrimination, pure and simple. I really love when landlords (I even hate calling them that) feel they are bestowing a fantastic gift upon you for letting you pay their mortgage. Sorry, I digress.
The mess that my son makes is with modeling clay in his bedroom. He loves it, but typically it ends up EVERYWHERE, including in the cracks of the hardwood floor. Then we go in, pick up all 8,000 little toys like blocks, modeling clay tools, trains and tracks, et cetera, and then we do a combination of sweeping, scraping, and vacuuming to get it all up. Then, inevitably, with his big sweet doe-y eyes he cons me into buying more and the process repeats.
My older son was 3 when I thought it was safe to take a quick, 10-15 minute shower. Nope! All liquid contents in the fridge- a gallon of milk, two full bottles of juice, a half gallon of iced tea, a half gallon of pink lemonade, several juice boxes- ended up all over the playroom floor, with the wall-to-wall carpeting. When I asked him why he did that, what was he thinking, he told me, "I wanted to make it rain on my cars." Okay, he got me there. I cleaned the best I could, even got a rug cleaner, but oh, the ants, the ants!
Fast forward three years, probably the next time I trusted my older son to keep himself occupied while I was in the shower. I came out to find that he'd gotten ahold of a screwdriver and unscrewed every electrical and light socket plug in the living room and both bedrooms. I almost had a heart attack!
My little one. He's 2 1/2 and so active it's not funny. I was in the bathroom doing my thing about 2-3 months ago and I couldn't have been in there more than 3 minutes. Did I mention he's obsessed with footballs? Did you know that eggs look like tiny white footballs? And when you throw them and yell, "Go long!", odds are they're gonna end up in a puddlely mess on the living room rug? All 12 of them? Yup. I knew it was bad when I opened the bathroom door in time to hear, "Uh, oh, broken footballs." It was hard to be mad at him, though, when I came around the corner and found him trying soooooooooo hard to put the eggs back together, telling himself, "Like a puzzle... like a puzzle..."
the worst part was the smell. my morning sickness meant the smell made me want to puke the entire time I was cleaning up.
Oh I'll just list what they did at age 2.
When DS1 was 2, he:
- took a bottle of mustard out of the fridge and squeezed every bit out onto off white carpet (of course it's impossible to remove the yellow stains even though we scrubbed all night).
- pushed the TV off the stand and broke it
- got hold of a black dry erase marker and scribbled over the walls in 3 rooms. We had to scrape off a layer to remove it, then repaint the walls.
- sprayed the walls and floor of a room with a bottle of "Shout"
- basically broke and shredded everything he touched :)
When DS2 was 2, he:
- opened a bag of raisin bagels and chew on a few of them, that's the most mess he ever made, he's a ruler follower and preserver. :)
I'm just glad they didn't drink detergent or swallow rocks or anything like that. :D
It was about this week 5 years ago and we were living in a brownstone in brooklyn... gorgeous hardwood floors covered with the cartons of eggs I bought for them to dye. I have a photo somewhere I have to look at now. My husband found them and cleaned it all up bless his heart. Luckily they were hardwood floors and not rugs or on furniture...
Another time my oldest, when he was 3 took my paint (I'm an oil painter) and started painting prussian blue all over a piece that I was putting in a show that was about to go to the framer that day.
Another time it was an entire gallon of gesso all over parquet floors in manhattan. Perilously close to computer servers on the floor that were gated off.
There are more... so many more... and yes, I laugh about all of them now.
haha.. I love that kiddos are all so curious and that seems to be a universal thing.. Lets see some of the ruckus mine have caused.
at 2 she got into the fridge to make "cookies" and broke 3 dozen eggs all over the living room floor
at 3 she got into the finger paint and "painted" me a picture all over the government loaned furniture (hubby is the military, when we were living overseas instead of shipping out your furniture they loaned you furniture that you had to return in like new condition when you left)
at 4 she decided to "write daddy a special birthday card mommy" and got glue, glitter, paint and flour all quilt tops I had just finished piecing together for Christmas..
at 5 she decided to "help" me with the garden, broken plant containers and mud ALL OVER the living room carpet.. That took a lot of scrubbing
at 6 she wanted to make me breakfast in bed.. went out to a kitchen covered in bisquick, egg and milk
Just last week (she is 7) we were bringing food in and she decided she would put things away for me. Two gallons of milk later I had a very clean floor, no milk and a very wet daughter LOL
My 2nd oldest (least likely to get into things )
At 2 she used a whole bottle of shampoo to "wash" my mattress.. "smell yuck mom" Thanks kiddo!
At 3 she decided to "help the doggy get food" brand new 50 lb bag of dog food plus about a gallon of water all over my kitchen and living room.. The dog wasn't to happy either, she hated soggy food!
At 4 she wanted to "do school" like her sister so she got the glue out to make a collage.. Instead of a small bottle of glue she grabbed the large gallon of elmers glue I have to refill our glue bottle. Ended up getting it all over the dining room and the cat, poor kitty!
A month ago (she is 5) she decided she would do her math lesson "all by myself mommy".. Im still finding math manipulative all over the living room
My son.. (there is a REASON he is called monster )
At 6 months old he figured out how to crawl while I was cooking dinner. He managed to get into my knitting and "knitted" himself quite a mess by the time I looked over and saw.
At 1 I was doing a banner with his sister to welcome Daddy home from a deployment. He had great fun getting into paint while my back was turned answering the phone. I had a very colorful toddler
At 2 he decided to have "fun" tping the downstairs in the middle of the night while everyone else was sleeping. Woke to toilet paper all over the living room, dining room and kitchen.
Last week (he is 3) he found a bottle of nail polish (thanks girls!) and "painted" the bathroom floor..
And because it might seem to some like I don't supervise my kiddos all these were done either when they were suppose to be napping or in the 5 minutes between times I checked on them. Seriously, kids are FAST. At least I get a laugh at it looking back.
No "messes", just sabotage. I've turned around to find that kiddo had removed the baby-proofing from the cabinet doors. Also, never leave electronics ANYWHERE near him. He's constantly altering the settings on my computer- I have no idea how. He's finding keyboard shortcuts that I can't even find online. I've smacked my keyboard repeatedly in frustration and this has never happened yet every time our kid touches this he gets ahold of some setting or another so, uh, I'm a little disturbed.
Proud Formula Feeder, I support how ALL parents feed their babies. Breast or bottle, formula or breastmilk, and any combination thereof.
Happily married since 4/30/2009 Our first was born 4/23/2013
|Child , Toddler , Toddlers|