Mama's boy? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 09-19-2013, 10:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My mother will be visiting in a few weeks and she is always saying that my son is a " Mama's boy" and I always reply he is a papa's boy too. It bothers me that people still use such negative language to describe behavior. In addition, my mom lives in another state and does not see my son often enough to know how he really acts......ds is two and a half btw. Anyway, I was wondering if you wonderful mama's have some words of wisdom or phrases I can reply back to my mother when she says such things as this. I am trying to gear myself up for her visit by prepping my suit of armor so to speak.
Thanks
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#2 of 12 Old 09-20-2013, 07:26 AM
 
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My mother in law says the same thing about my 9 month old.  She thinks he's too spoiled because we have never left him to cry.  I just change the subject and point to all of the great things he's doing.  I will say something like "Yeah, he is a little spoiled but he does so well with playing independently and is getting more independent every day".  This gets her off my back without totally dismissing her.  She then sees that there is nothing wrong with him and independence comes with time.  Good luck!

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#3 of 12 Old 09-20-2013, 12:12 PM
 
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Originally Posted by tracyamber View Post

My mother will be visiting in a few weeks and she is always saying that my son is a " Mama's boy" and I always reply he is a papa's boy too. It bothers me that people still use such negative language to describe behavior. In addition, my mom lives in another state and does not see my son often enough to know how he really acts......ds is two and a half btw. Anyway, I was wondering if you wonderful mama's have some words of wisdom or phrases I can reply back to my mother when she says such things as this. I am trying to gear myself up for her visit by prepping my suit of armor so to speak.
Thanks

 

Smile and say than you.  People get all flustered when they try to insult you and you refuse to be insulted.

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#4 of 12 Old 09-20-2013, 01:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks mamas, I feel better already!!!!!!
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#5 of 12 Old 09-23-2013, 11:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Is there anymore advice out there?????
Thanks
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#6 of 12 Old 09-23-2013, 11:44 AM
 
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I'd act like it was a compliment, pretend she meant "Oh he loves you so much, and is so happy with you!" And maybe mention how close they like to be at this age, and how fast it goes by and you will miss it.

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#7 of 12 Old 09-23-2013, 02:36 PM
 
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Ask her what she means if she keeps using the term. "Hey, Mom, whenever you said that, I thought you were just complimenting me that my son seemed lovingly attached. But now it seems like you're trying to say something else when you call him a Mama's Boy. Are you trying to comment negatively on his behaviour? Because he seems healthy and well adjusted to me."

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#8 of 12 Old 09-23-2013, 04:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ask her what she means if she keeps using the term. "Hey, Mom, whenever you said that, I thought you were just complimenting me that my son seemed lovingly attached. But now it seems like you're trying to say something else when you call him a Mama's Boy. Are you trying to comment negatively on his behaviour? Because he seems healthy and well adjusted to me."

Right on!
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#9 of 12 Old 03-18-2014, 10:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was just revisiting this thread I created and noticed 226 views!!!!! Wow, yet only a few replies. Humm,.......
Well my mothers visit went well and I think she was on her best behavior so we had no issues and I was glad.
Dodged that one.. Lol
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#10 of 12 Old 03-18-2014, 10:29 PM
 
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I never knew that "mama's boy" or "daddy's girl" were derogatory. When used in my family they always seem to refer to a particularly close bond between the child and parent referred to. For instance, I'm a total daddy's girl and always have been. We are very close. My dad OTOH was a mama's boy, a very devoted son to his mom until her death. So for anyone else who hears this in an unpleasant way, I echo the sentiment to treat it as a compliment.

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#11 of 12 Old 03-20-2014, 12:13 PM
 
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I  find those kind of comments stupid, as if a baby boy isnt supposed to be attached to his mother because hes a boy. If its a girl on the other hand, thats normal. Why? Because only girls are capable of attachment and boys are not? Or boys are supposed to be out doing manly things with Dad at the tender  of 2 1/2 ? Maybe playing football? 

 

Occasionally ive had a stranger make a comment like that, and i just sort of nod politely and say nothing. If it was my mother, or someone close to me (thank Gd noone close to me has ever said anything this dumb), i would set them straight immediately "Mom, its biologically normal for a young child to be attached to his/her mother.   And i dont know what 'mama's boy' means anyway. A boy who loves his mom? Please dont say anything that silly again'

 

Im not sure this is good advice, and thankfully, i have never had the need to say this to my mother.

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#12 of 12 Old 03-20-2014, 08:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for that. I totally agree it is really a dumb comment and makes no logical sense. Glad she was on her best though for our visit.
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