Do you buy your children toys throughout the year? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 02-02-2014, 06:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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There must be 800 threads about this, but I can't seem to locate them.  Also, I understand not everyone can give things to their kids "just because", let alone for special events.  That said, I could still use some input.

 

How do you handle buying your kids toys during the year (non-birthday/holiday)?  Do you refuse to do it?  Do you ever do it?  Do you have your children share in the cost of something they want, if they get an allowance or gift money?  How do you handle these situations? 

 

My just-turned-four-year-old desperately wants a specific toy.  I feel a little bit torn. Well, a lot torn.  His birthday is at Christmastime (we don't go nuts), so it isn't as easy as thinking about shelving the idea for 4, 5, or 6 months.  The other issue is the cheapest I've found this item is $30.  I admit, if it were $5, $10, even $15, this wouldn't be as much of an issue.  We can afford the item, so it isn't about that, but the cost of the item is high for a "just because" type of thing.  My kids do not get "just because" things at this age, aside from books or educational-type things, and so far, they have never asked.  He doesn't get an allowance.  I've thought about suggesting he donate two of his toys and then we can talk about getting the toy he wants, but I don't know if I'm setting both of us up if I give in - him, in thinking he can just have what he wants and me, in dealing with a new desire every month.  He isn't typically like that, but since this is the first time I'm dealing with this, maybe it's a phase.  :innocent

 

I would love to know how other parents handle these situations, how they handle buying toys throughout the year, etc. 

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#2 of 13 Old 02-04-2014, 09:40 PM
 
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Bumping your post in case it was missed.
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#3 of 13 Old 02-04-2014, 11:13 PM
 
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Mulvah - i have a completely different philosophy on toys. i never buy dd things during holidays or bdays. her party is enough. she gets some from her dad and others. 

 

instead i buy her throughout the year. and money is not the issue. if i have the money i will get it for her.

 

i think its really unfair to wait months to get your favourite toy.

 

being the mother of a 11 year old - one important thing dd taught me is just coz she is that way at a certain age does not mean she will be like that forever. 

 

we have always done it this way. if i have the money we get it. if we dont i then we cant get it. 

 

an example really helped me figure my philosophy. then my philosophy was if dd wants it and consistently asks for it for a while then i will get it for her. problem is dd loves figuring out new toys and after that she never plays with it ever again. well she really wanted this hello kitty phone. she begged and pleaded for a month so i got it. within a week she was over it. did i regret getting it? no. because dd got to discover it and play with it. did she know she would tire of it in a week. no. 

 

at least she wont grow up longing for a hello kitty phone that she never got when she was a child. 

 

does that mean then my dd is spoilt and always asking for things? nope!!! definitely when younger she wanted stuff more than she does now. but she always knew - mommy would get her that item if mommy can afford it. 

 

today she looks at the thing and the practicality of getting it. how expensive it is.


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#4 of 13 Old 02-05-2014, 12:10 PM
 
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I buy on a need and opportunity basis. Ie, if  i come across a desired toy at a rummage sale, i get it. If my child would clearly benefit from a toy at a given time, i get it.

 

Sometimes, birthdays and holidays come around, and there arent any toys they  really need. In that case, i get something small. The unwrapping and surprise is all part of the fun.

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#5 of 13 Old 02-06-2014, 09:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you both for sharing your thoughts on this; I like hearing a different perspective to my own.  I gave DS the highly-coveted toy he wanted so we'll see what happens!  :)  That said, I'm not entirely sure how we will approach this in the future.

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#6 of 13 Old 02-06-2014, 10:11 AM
 
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mulvah one more thing. this present giving is more to do with ME than dd. i LOVE getting her things. it has not always meant 'buy'. if i see something i think she will like i get soooo EXCITED. i cant wait till i can get it for her. we are poor so i cant buy her things often nor can i buy her big items. 

 

but if i go anywhere without her i tend to come home with something. even if its a pen. dd never expects it from me. but i tend to get SOMETHING. 

 

it would be VERY hard for me to wait for an occasion for me to give her the stuff. If i know she really likes it and its waiting in the closet i wouldnt be able to stand it. 

 

dd is a writer. you should see the amount of journals she has. not because she wanted it. but because i got it for her. 

 

i always have something for her. she loves hearts. if i find a rock in the shape of a heart i get it for her. if i fine a stick in the shape of her name alphabet i get it for her. or a cool drinking class. or a cup. or silly laces.


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#7 of 13 Old 02-06-2014, 10:44 AM
 
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Sure. My oldest has a feb bday and my youngest has a nov bday, so very close to christmas. dd has a loooong wait between her bday and christmas! We often will let them get little things, especially if we're at a thrift store or garage sale and its something they would likely enjoy for just a couple bucks. I also have a feeling we'll be buying tons of those rainbow loom bands...lol. Sometimes it will be a "buy a few toys day" if i want to encourage some more outdoor play, for example. last summer i know i bought some bubbles, a tball set, and a stomp rocket for no particular reason except for "go outside and play, here's some new toys!" lol. I figure, if I can buy myself something i want but don't need once in awhile, then i can buy the kids something they want but don't need once in awhile.


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#8 of 13 Old 02-06-2014, 11:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meemee View Post
 

mulvah one more thing. this present giving is more to do with ME than dd. i LOVE getting her things. it has not always meant 'buy'. if i see something i think she will like i get soooo EXCITED.

 

I enjoy giving my children things, too, but I typically push that into buying a new book or flash cards, etc.  My kids enjoy those things, so they are excited, which warms my heart, but at the same time, it has a different feel to it than giving other types of toys, especially those at a higher price point.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by LiLStar View Post
 

Sure. My oldest has a feb bday and my youngest has a nov bday, so very close to christmas. dd has a loooong wait between her bday and christmas! We often will let them get little things, especially if we're at a thrift store or garage sale and its something they would likely enjoy for just a couple bucks. I also have a feeling we'll be buying tons of those rainbow loom bands...lol. Sometimes it will be a "buy a few toys day" if i want to encourage some more outdoor play, for example. last summer i know i bought some bubbles, a tball set, and a stomp rocket for no particular reason except for "go outside and play, here's some new toys!" lol. I figure, if I can buy myself something i want but don't need once in awhile, then i can buy the kids something they want but don't need once in awhile.

 

See, I would buy the bubbles, but I would have stopped there.  You've definitely given me something to think about.  I do buy myself something I want from time to time, so maybe I need to look into how that would work and look for my children.  I think that type of balance is more in line with how I want things to look for my family.  Thanks for sharing.

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#9 of 13 Old 02-06-2014, 11:11 AM
 
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i got the bubbles and stomp rocket in the same shopping trip, and the tball set was actually a couple months later. i saw how thrilled my toddler was with a neighbor's set and it was SO HARD for him to wait his turn. i was like, "we gotta get one of these". But I could never find them any time i looked! i finally found one at target one day in a spot i never checked before and in packaging i wouldnt have expected. i was like, oh heck yes!! pretty cheap, too. $10-$15? good quality, takes lots of abuse. And then i pulled up a chair on the porch and relaxed while he hit the ball, fetched the ball, and repeat, over and over! That's the kind of situation that motivates me to buy a "just because" toy. good price, know it will be loved, and encourages a type of play i want to encourage! (in this case, active outdoor, gross motor developing)


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#10 of 13 Old 02-06-2014, 12:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by LiLStar View Post
 

i got the bubbles and stomp rocket in the same shopping trip, and the tball set was actually a couple months later. i saw how thrilled my toddler was with a neighbor's set and it was SO HARD for him to wait his turn. i was like, "we gotta get one of these". But I could never find them any time i looked! i finally found one at target one day in a spot i never checked before and in packaging i wouldnt have expected. i was like, oh heck yes!! pretty cheap, too. $10-$15? good quality, takes lots of abuse. And then i pulled up a chair on the porch and relaxed while he hit the ball, fetched the ball, and repeat, over and over! That's the kind of situation that motivates me to buy a "just because" toy. good price, know it will be loved, and encourages a type of play i want to encourage! (in this case, active outdoor, gross motor developing)

 

I hope you didn't think I was nitpicking what you did.  I was just sharing what I would have done, which in thinking about it and writing it out, made me realize that I really do need to make a change in this area.  I do get myself things "just because", so why would I not do that for my children?  I need to strike a balance between buying them "just because" things and teaching them to appreciate it.

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#11 of 13 Old 02-06-2014, 01:03 PM
 
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We are by no means rich, but if our children ask for something, they usually get it, unless it is totally unreasonable. They also do chores to earn money so they help pay for the things they want.


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#12 of 13 Old 02-06-2014, 01:03 PM
 
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Nah, I didn't feel nitpicked. I figured I'd elaborate the type of situation that makes me think buying something for my kids "just for fun" is a good idea. Reasonably priced, I know they'll love it, something I'm happy to see them playing with (I'm less likely to buy, say, a barbie "just because" because they make me cringe just a little!) and, though its clearly not a "need" does seem to fulfill, well, a need in someway. 


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#13 of 13 Old 02-08-2014, 01:50 PM
 
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My son has a polar bear, and a koala bear and now wants a toy grizzly bear to complete his set-who am i to make him wait another half a year until his birthday? If i see a toy grizzly bear, ill  get it for him. We are also missing a telly tubbie, so i'll get that if i see it.

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