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#31 of 55 Old 03-08-2014, 11:30 AM
 
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lol....easier than handing out recipes or taking a syringe to a yogurt container! wink1.gif


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#32 of 55 Old 03-08-2014, 12:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't believe the "if everyone else jumps off a bridge" idea is too simplistic. It gets the point across to a five year old. It makes sense to a teen. It still makes perfect sense to me, over a decade since I last heard it from my parents. The desire to conform is a very slippery slope. The desire to conform just to be "cool" or "fit in" feeds into such issues as eating disorders, promiscuity, drug use, and general dissatisfaction with life. Granted, these things can still happen to free spirits.

That "if everyone else jumps off a bridge" thinking lead my parents to raise a small army of children who are all fiercely independent, and unafraid of following their ambitions... free spirits, if you will. People are shocked to learn any of us are related. "How in the heck did you and (sibling) come from the same home, the same parents, all so close in age? You are nothing like her/him!" Myself and every single one of my siblings has gotten this comment on numerous occasions. We are proud to say how awesome our parents were for teaching us not to care what others think.

"I know myself and that's enough. To heck with what others think!"

To this I would say that it's great that this message worked so well for your family. I don't, though, think that it's the only way - and this is the crux of a lot of the parent judgment stuff. There are many "right ways". If after a teen talks to their parent about wanting to experiment with "coolness" the parent decides to let a child buy one new outfit out of a slew of hand-me-downs because that's what feels good to that family, I think that's fine as well. 

 

I came from what sounds like a similar family as yours only I was free to try on a lot of different hats - even if they were sometimes fairly conformist. Allowing a teen some space to experiment with fitting in is not a bad thing and I doubt very much that it leads to some of the tragic life experiences you've described.  


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#33 of 55 Old 03-08-2014, 12:58 PM
 
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It's rare that someone comes up to me and comments on my parenting or what my kids eat or wear (People used to, so I assume they're now old enough that I imagine most people figure they made any questionable choices themselves), but generally if anyone does comment on anything as ridiculous as sugar, I tell them to go away. And not politely.

 

I am generally more strict than the parents we see frequently, and while that's fine with me, I have talked to my kids in private about why that is. I've explained that we don't have a live in nanny and housekeeper and tons of money like friends x; and this is good and bad. Good in that they see much more of me than their friends x do of their parents; Bad in that no one else is going to pick up around our house, so they have to do more chores, and more consistently than friends x are forced to do so. We have friends who are unschooling-oriented, and it works for them, but it is not something I would ever do. I've explained to my kids that we don't do that. Kids don't make that many decisions in our family; and that this means that we can invest both time and money in things like intensive, expensive dance classes and lessons. They've seen their unschooling friends sign up for something and then just decide on the day of not to go to it... and I point out privately that those kids also don't get enrolled in things with really big commitments. We have only met literally 2 families with more strict rules than mine, once on a train, and once in a class. I heard those parents say the same thing I say to my kids "We don't do that. We have our own rules, and you follow our family's rules."

 

We're vegetarian, and we've dealt with allergies, but we don't request special things to be served to everyone as a result. We tell people we're vegetarian, and if they supply a meat-only dish (only ever happened once, gee thanks, FIL), then we don't eat while we're there, other than the fact that I always have snacks for the kids. If they serve meat -and something else, we just eat the something else. When DD went on a sleepover, and the host asked what her food restrictions were, I said that we were veggie, but she was welcome to try anything she wanted to, and that if there's PBJ available as a backup, she'll survive anything food-wise. She tried... can't recall what... and asked for PBJ. I did NOT specify a kind of bread, a kind of jelly, and kind of PB. Because it's not going to matter in the long run. 


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#34 of 55 Old 03-08-2014, 01:02 PM
 
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Oh, and with an extended breastfed kid who did get ear infections, lots of them... garlic oil worked for us. Recommended by our pediatrician. But his head smelled like pizza. I'd wake up dreaming about pizza baking. 


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#35 of 55 Old 03-08-2014, 01:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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"We don't do that. We have our own rules, and you follow our family's rules." 

I love these teaching moments!  I wouldn't call us strict (and DH would laugh out loud to even here me phrase it like that) but we do have our own rules. There have been times that I could have been described as the overly protective parent and right now I'm on the other end of the spectrum. I often find I have different rules in the toddler phase. I generally do not let my kids be disruptive to other people whereas I know a lot of AP folks who feel differently about that (and I think they have great points but it's not what I choose to do). I tend to let my toddler have free range otherwise though and I notice a lot of parents are far more cautious  than me in that regard. It's so interesting. 


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#36 of 55 Old 03-08-2014, 01:17 PM
 
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Hot showers/ hot compresses work well for treating ear infections. While cupping my hand over her ear, aim the hot water right on the ouchie ear, then gently massage, with two fingers, the area of her neck behind the ear lobe after the shower. She always says it makes her ear feel better. (Advice from my doctor sibling, who likes to treat things naturally before resorting to medication). If nothing else, it relieves the pain so she can sleep. She's 3yo and an infrequent nursling.


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#37 of 55 Old 03-08-2014, 01:54 PM
 
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Those things may work well for managing pain at first but if it's caused by a bacterial infection eventually the pain becomes too severe for home remedies, especially outer ear infections which cause the ear canal to swell shut. The constant ear drum ruptures give temporary relief but also cause hearing loss once enough scar tissue is created. Home remedies are great if they work for you but as an adult who has had debilitating pain from home remedies I will personally never go that route again for myself or my dd.
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#38 of 55 Old 03-08-2014, 03:57 PM
 
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:yeah

Thank you for clarifying. Not all ear infections are equal. My daughter doesn't get them that bad.


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#39 of 55 Old 03-08-2014, 04:26 PM
 
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My parents have a philosophy with child-rearing, which I have adopted for my own family: Children should be spending their time learning who they are and what makes them happy, not worrying about what other people think of them or want them to be. It also applies to parenting: Parents should be worried about instilling good values in their kids, not worried what others think of their choices.

I was raised by parents who firmly believed conformity for the sake of being "cool" or appeasing others is inherently unhealthy. No one ever accomplished great things by following the masses, unless you're speaking of top 40 radio. Conformity is great when it comes to certain things- conforming to social norms in regard to manners, for example, or playing in a marching band. Hearing that an 8 year old girl is worried about "fitting in" brings tears to my eyes. I shed tears over a little girl whose mother wrote a single paragraph about letting her buy a "cool" outfit. The idea that a desire to "fit in" is a normal part of growing up is so pervasive in American society.

I tried really hard in the sixth grade to "fit in" and still got bullied. Being myself was way easier. I got bullied just as much, but I became way more confident being myself than I ever would have been worrying about what the "cool" kids thought I should be. I sewed my own handbags and clothes. I beat the boys butts in soccer while all the other girls were fixing their hair and stuffing their bras to impress the boys on the soccer team. I did some ridiculously provocative school projects about things like The Rocky Horror Picture Show, UFOs, gender stereotypes, and ghostly hauntings, that REALLY upset the sensibilities of my fellow classmates here in the Bible Belt. None of these amazing learning experiences would have happened had I worried about what other people thought of it.

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#40 of 55 Old 03-08-2014, 04:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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None of these amazing learning experiences would have happened had I worried about what other people thought of it.

I think we're looking at this from two different perspectives. I'm looking at the impulse to fit in, which the author describes in her own child. Those instincts are fairly typical and I would suggest that experimenting with fitting in is perfectly healthy. It sounds to me that you did experiment with fitting in and the chance to try that hat on was a powerful experience for you. Because trying these things out is really about learning about one's self at that age - at least it is for a lot of children. As parents we will make a lot of calls when it comes to this sort of thing in the pre-teen/teen years but we would do well to try to understand and remember where our kids are coming from.  

 

I went back and read the article and the section on clothing. I think it was probably a tough call to make. The author sounds a lot like me - I don't ever buy new clothing for myself or my kids. Like the author, I'd be a bit freaked if my daughter came to me and told me her friends were trying to help her look "cool". And, yea, we'd talk about that for sure!  But, given that I've gone 12 years without buying anything new to speak of, yea, I'd probably let her buy an outfit if we had the money. And, I wouldn't want to be judged harshly for that. Because, really, like the author says, 

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“I think everyone has to find her own style,” another mother said, “and it’s not always what’s in the magazines or what someone else thinks is cool.”

“But I’m not wearing my own style,” pointed out my daughter, who has a wardrobe of hand-me-downs. With the other mothers making all my usual points about our consumer culture, I was able to really hear my daughter and realize that she did deserve the chance to pick out at least one new outfit of her own. Because I felt supported by other mothers, I was better able to support her.

 

And, BTW, I say this as a person who just remembered what she was wearing today. I have a "wear whatever the heck I want" style that is especially emotionally driven. I wear like army gear when I'm feeling like I need to "attack the day" and get a bunch of errands done. Or a 50's dress if I'm feeling like a maid. Today I was wearing black eye makeup like A Clockwork Orange and a felt fedora with a daffodil in it with a Mexican shawl. I'm creatively scattered right now and I think my choice in outfits reflected that. 

 

Other days I like to conform. I still experiment with conformity and non-conformity. It's INTERESTING!  I find it fascinating. I don't think experimenting with conformity is a bad thing. I do, however, agree that being stressed by it is a very, very bad thing. But that just didn't sound like what was going on for that author, yk?  


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#41 of 55 Old 03-09-2014, 02:33 PM
 
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Wow, what a renegade! Putting a banana in your kid's lunch box! ;-)


Look, ive tried both the apple and the banana, now they wont eat them because they are so sick of them!

 

As for the yoghurt, i admit i wouldnt go to th trouble of bringing a syringe, i dont bring yoghurt out as a rule because we buy it in large containers. When at home, i dilute any sweetened yoghurt, which we dont usually get, with plain yoghurt. I find it way too sweet personally.

 

The apple, the banana, how about raw carrots? Now my kids wont eat them either. But they are still eating the seaweed.

 

Im not sure what im going to do when my 2yo starts demanding new fashionable clothes. Her older brothers dont get that kind of drama, but girls might be different....we never buy new. Admittedly, the thrift stores around here are full of almost new, somewhat  trendy clothes...so maybe im off the hook...

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#42 of 55 Old 03-09-2014, 03:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Look, ive tried both the apple and the banana, now they wont eat them because they are so sick of them!

 

As for the yoghurt, i admit i wouldnt go to th trouble of bringing a syringe, i dont bring yoghurt out as a rule because we buy it in large containers. When at home, i dilute any sweetened yoghurt, which we dont usually get, with plain yoghurt. I find it way too sweet personally.

 

The apple, the banana, how about raw carrots? Now my kids wont eat them either. But they are still eating the seaweed.

 

Im not sure what im going to do when my 2yo starts demanding new fashionable clothes. Her older brothers dont get that kind of drama, but girls might be different....we never buy new. Admittedly, the thrift stores around here are full of almost new, somewhat  trendy clothes...so maybe im off the hook...

We're hooked on Brown Cow (US brand) cream-on-top yogurt, which has sweetened flavors. YUM!  I don't eat a lot of sweets but like these a lot and find them to be a filling snack for on-the-to. Maybe too much sugar...but it sure beats needing to hit the vending machine. ;-)   

 

As for whole fruits and veggies, we've been lucky in that our kids, though picky, do eat lots of that. I'm sure I'd peel and process their food if it were the only way they would eat it but I started them both out on just a whole, uncut, unpeeled fruit and they've never put up a fuss. Thank goodness!  

 

I have been slightly sheepish about my kid's food or food we've brought to pot-lucks. The difference between my older child's first lunch and my second child's first lunch was remarkable. But this wasn't really like an "Oh, I'm so embarrassed of what the other parents or teachers will think." It was more of a shaking my head at myself for how busy I had gotten and how un-ideal my child's lunches were during those first weeks of school where we adjusted to a new routine. Hanging on by a thread, if someone had stopped me to tell me that re-heating pizza in the microwave caused a loss in nutrients, oy, not good. Though I probably wouldn't have had the energy to complain.  

 

My 12 year old makes her own lunch. I have no idea what's in them. :2whistle

 

Interesting what you say about hand-me-downs and second-hand. It's certainly possible in my area to dress totally mainstream from seconds. In fact, I think it's much harder to find unique clothes. I remember my heart melting a little when my daughter got so excited to realize that I was taking her to get a brand new bathing suit after searching for a team suit with no luck. I remind myself that if she ever develops a fetish for fashion that she'll be mighty grateful that her mom knows where all the good thrift stores are even if, to her delight, I couldn't manage to find a navy blue one-piece last summer. :D 


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#43 of 55 Old 03-09-2014, 03:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh, my gosh!  I have the greatest story about judgment about food. I have a friend with a now 5 year old. When he was younger child he ate very, very well - all sorts of interesting things too. My friend shared a nanny with a family who had a really picky child. My friend would just be baffled at how her friends would "let" their child be picky. I tried to explain that it's much easier to not understand something...when you don't understand something!  Oh, my, did she ever get her humble pie. Her son is now the pickiest child I have ever seen (and I've seen LOTS of picky children).  

 

And that's part of this discussion for me too. It feels like a karmic type thing to me. And very much a "do unto others" thing. That and that we just never know the full story. So often I don't even know or realize the full story for MYSELF!  How often have we made a choice that we later realize is influenced by some deep issue or experience. Maybe the woman filling the yogurts was raised by strict parents who would never, ever let her have any processed foods and she grew up feeling unheard and left out. And she doesn't want that for her kid on deep psychological level. 

 

Someone in my family is like this - denied any access to fashion/trends as a child. Uber-intellectual parents who just could not understand where she was coming from. This person has told me that she tries hard to indulge her children because of that. So, a different way to go. I'd say that perhaps this isn't the worlds 100% greatest choice but, on the other hand, her kids are also fine and perfectly independent and down to Earth. 

 

It's weird. 

 

Also... 

 

I'm the child of real-deal hippies. Like soy farmin', healthfood store ownin', off the grid livin' hippies. And I saw them change and evolve and, yea, mellow. I'm caught in this place of knowing I could just skip past all the soul searching because it's been modeled for me pretty well. But I don't. For the most part. I try to go through the motions. But, sometimes I talk to a new mom or a 20 something just learning this or that about the world. And I bite my tongue because no one wants to hear "Been there done that" as I slurp down my sweetened yogurt. :love


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#44 of 55 Old 03-09-2014, 05:11 PM
 
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Oh, my gosh!  I have the greatest story about judgment about food. I have a friend with a now 5 year old. When he was younger child he ate very, very well - all sorts of interesting things too. My friend shared a nanny with a family who had a really picky child. My friend would just be baffled at how her friends would "let" their child be picky. I tried to explain that it's much easier to not understand something...when you don't understand something!  Oh, my, did she ever get her humble pie. Her son is now the pickiest child I have ever seen (and I've seen LOTS of picky children).

Yes, IME toddlers can be quite adventurous in their eating, but that doesn't always mean they'll be that way as a young child. And if they become picky as a young child, THAT doesn't always mean they'll be that way as an older child or adult. Both of my kids would eat anything from the ages of 18 months to 3 years. And with my first, I totally thought it was because I "started him right." lol.gif So when the list of foods he would eat started dwindling to an embarrassingly small handful of things, I was baffled and upset. And then, between ages 5 and 6, his diet slowly started to expand again, and now at age 9 he'll eat most anything.

My DD is following the same pattern so far. She's almost 6 and I'm starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel with her picky phase. The nice thing is that, this time, I knew it would end so it didn't really bug me. To another parent, I might appear to be blithely catering to her whims, but really I know that she'll come around (she's already starting to) whether I exert my parental force and turn it into a giant deal, or not. So I might as well not, and just wait it out.
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I'm caught in this place of knowing I could just skip past all the soul searching because it's been modeled for me pretty well. But I don't. For the most part. I try to go through the motions. But, sometimes I talk to a new mom or a 20 something just learning this or that about the world. And I bite my tongue because no one wants to hear "Been there done that" as I slurp down my sweetened yogurt. love.gif

Yep, realizing that you don't have to proselytize once you come out the other side of a lesson -- that one took me a long time to learn. I remember the knowing glances my mom and aunties would exchange sometimes when I came to them with my latest drama as a teen/young adult, and I remember thinking they were so old and dumb, and couldn't possibly know what it was like, and now I know that they were thinking, "Oh yes, this. She has to find her own way through it just like we did."
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#45 of 55 Old 03-09-2014, 05:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yep, realizing that you don't have to proselytize once you come out the other side of a lesson -- that one took me a long time to learn. I remember the knowing glances my mom and aunties would exchange sometimes when I came to them with my latest drama as a teen/young adult, and I remember thinking they were so old and dumb, and couldn't possibly know what it was like, and now I know that they were thinking, "Oh yes, this. She has to find her own way through it just like we did."

:twothumbs

 

Looking back at my young-er mom self, I'm so grateful for my friends who let me find my own way. Yes, sometimes I wanted advice but I think I often wanted to figure stuff out on my own. Plus, we all have our own issues, concerns, desires. With my own child, I have taken to heart some great advice I got about how to foster communication between parent and child. The advice was to always ask if your child wants your advice. I've been doing that for the past 6 years and I love that this way of communicating has come into our lives. As an adult I often feel bogged down with opinions of others at times when what I really want is to be heard. Setting aside the urge to give advice is a good thing to practice, IME. 

 

Interesting that the author talks about feeling freed to really listen to her child because her friends were there to give her daughter the advice she thought her daughter needed. 


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#46 of 55 Old 03-09-2014, 10:12 PM
 
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^ I struggle with this with my mom. She doesn't know how to just listen and nod along. She always tries to "fix" things. I caught myself doing it for a long time. And sometimes I still do, usually though I know it's wanted. Sometimes I've asked "would you like my opinion or just my support". I have a couple friends who have had rough in different ways past couple years and it's been hard to be supportive without wanting to help fix.

But I'm trying *really* hard to keep quiet and listen so much more than I speak. I'm living in a place where I find the parenting different than what I am used to and so many times some of the questions just feel so "really?" But it's taught me a lot in biting my tounge, answering only with the facts I know and stepping away or not even saying something if it's going to bother me too much.

It's a good practice as a couple friends are pregnant and one seems to have it all together but DH and I feel like their world is going to be rocked totally and completely. Not in a bad way, just as they really have no clue what they are doing and would be great parents if they could pop out a 5 year old wink1.gif it will be neat to see them learn and grow!

Another is surprisingly quiet about everything. I *think* I know them well enough but then I'm never quite sure lol.gif we've been friends FOREVER but because of that I also know that I should never say anything unless asked. When asked my opinion is always welcome regardless of what it is, but offering unsolicited advice is just not a good thing to do. Which is ok, I feel the say way. They too will be great parents but will also be fun to watch grow smile.gif

I think my next will be interesting. Especially because my older two are in school full time so I'll mainly just be out and about with one. Will I get the "first time mom" advice when people see you with your first and come out of the woodwork... Or will I give off that "I got this" vibe and instead they'll ask how many I have... Should be interesting!

Right now I'm the creepy person who smiles at all the moms with tantruming kids lol I smile to let them know it's ok and I've been there done that and this too shall pass but I wonder if they think I'm smiling because I'm happy it's not me.

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#47 of 55 Old 03-10-2014, 04:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My highschool friends and I still get together. 4 of us had kids a while back and one just had a baby this year. She asks questions from time to time but otherwise we just google over her baby and tell her how much we wish we had a little infant. She does some things significantly differently from me but I know she's doing great and her family will be fine with the choices she and her partner are making. 

 

I used to give "Becoming the Parent You Want to Be" as a new parent gift. Now, I don't even do that. Now I give Sandra Boynton's "Red Hat, Green Hat" because it's so silly and kids love it. 

 

...Although I did just score 6 copies of "Parent Effectiveness Training". It's a variation on NVC and is the book where I got the tip to ask your child if they would like advice. I found them at the bree book swap so I'm stocked if a friend asks me which parenting books I like. 

 

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Right now I'm the creepy person who smiles at all the moms with tantruming kids lol I smile to let them know it's ok and I've been there done that and this too shall pass but I wonder if they think I'm smiling because I'm happy it's not me.

Oh, come on, now. You know it's a little bit of  both... :twins  


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#48 of 55 Old 03-10-2014, 05:57 AM
 
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This thread is interesting.

I have been at the receiving end of judgement for a while, and I'm so done with it. In an odd way, my choices make others feel judged. They pass out bagged chips to their kids, and I pass out apples to mine, and suddenly they start justifying why they brought chips. I tell my kids to get off the fence, and the other mom.looks panicked and stressed and tries to get hers off, unsuccessfully. Then starts explaining all about why her kid won't get off the fence.

People think if you are just quiet and do your thing, its all good. Not true. The problem is conforming, and moms are trying to conform to other moms.around them, be they stricter or less strict. And feel judged when one won't change.

I'm.worn out by it all.
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#49 of 55 Old 03-10-2014, 06:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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If I ever suspect that our rules and ways make another parent feel badly about their choices, FM, I employ the strategy of phrasing things to my kid in a way that helps my kids and the other families understand that we totally get that different families have different rules. With the fence example, I'm often the one letting a kid climb a fence because I subscribe pretty literally to the idea that if a kid can get up, they can get down. So, I may say to my kids, "I know that I normally let you play on that fence but FM's family has different rules about that so how about if we all get down for now so that we can play together."  

 

Recently I was at a shopping center with another mom and she was ok with letting her child run in front of the motion sensor doors, which was opening the doors and letting cold air in. It's a shopping center that I frequent and I know that a lot of older people sit and have their coffee near those doors so this made me really uncomfortable to let my child be part of. At first I just scooped my toddler up and said, "I am not going to let you play with those doors because it's making it too cold in here." Then the mom suggested we go outside so the kids could run around together. Win-win!  

 

I think I know what you mean about some choices making others feel judged. In a way AP/NFL gets an especially bad wrap in that department. I do think as a collective community we can go ahead and take some responsibility for that because I've seen some really poor choices from people in our community when it comes to expressing our ideas in relation to the choices of others. But, sometimes even the nicest, most non-judgmental parent gets lumped in with the collective, don't they?  And that's a bummer.  

 

If someone felt the need to justify giving a kid some chips to me...oh, I'd feel so sad about that but I would make it right by sharing countless stories of my inadequacies. Humor goes a long way! 


Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
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#50 of 55 Old 03-10-2014, 06:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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But, I just went on with a bunch of advice, and you probably just wanted to be heard...sigh. It's a process. :o


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#51 of 55 Old 03-10-2014, 07:19 AM
 
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No, its ok. Actually, I have been seeking advice. And, I do very much like you said, but I think I am dealing with a whole new level of sensitive.

My friends and I don't have this problem. We seem.to go with the lowest common denomonator of comfort levels, and operate within a give and take there. But, these other people.right now...its different. I whispered to my kids that i didnt want them to watch a movie at a big get together, but they could play outside. Another mom saw them going out, and the tiraid began. I feel like next time I need to just tell the person that i dont care how they raise their kids, could they please give me the same respect?

Anyway, I didn't mean to hijack the thread with my own frustrations, I was just saying that just quietly.doing your thing doesn't always work.
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#52 of 55 Old 03-10-2014, 07:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I whispered to my kids that i didnt want them to watch a movie at a big get together, but they could play outside. Another mom saw them going out, and the tiraid began. 

Oh, gosh!  You were given grief because you asked your kids go go outside for a while at a party?  I let my kids watch TV/Movies and I'm super relaxed about content, even, but you better bet that I shoo kids outside when I feel they should be outdoors instead of watching a show. I'm sorry that you have some difficult people in your life right now. 


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#53 of 55 Old 03-10-2014, 11:53 AM
 
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Interesting. The judgement doesn't come often from me these days. Once upon a time, in my younger mom years, oh yes! These days I think that most parents are just doing the best they can with what they have. 

 

Heck, I know I get judged all the time. First Kid was feed a diet of all organic, no sugar, for years. I think Fourth Kid's first food from the drive through of McD's. I distinctly remember throwing some fries in his carseat and just hoping he would be quiet for a minute. I often am just out with just him during the day when the older kids are in school and I just smile and nod when someone tries to lecture me about the crap I am feeding him. And hope that I wasn't that bad back in the day.

 

 

 

ETA: Not to think that I think it is I am right and they are wrong or the other way around. It's more like I just don't care anymore. We've dealt with a lot over the years, severely sick kids, autism, chronic health issues, mental health issues, on and on. Caring what my kid put in her mouth that day doesn't rank as high as caring that she wants to kill herself again. It can be very important to someone else, I understand why, it isn't that I'm uneducated about sweetened yogurts vs unsweetened plan yogurt, it's just that I'm saving up for a bigger battle about something else. And frankly I'm tired, there are only so many things I am capable of really giving a damn about at any one time. :wink

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#54 of 55 Old 03-10-2014, 07:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Caring what my kid put in her mouth that day doesn't rank as high as caring that she wants to kill herself again. It can be very important to someone else, I understand why, it isn't that I'm uneducated about sweetened yogurts vs unsweetened plan yogurt, it's just that I'm saving up for a bigger battle about something else. And frankly I'm tired, there are only so many things I am capable of really giving a damn about at any one time. :wink

:hug


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#55 of 55 Old 03-16-2014, 07:48 AM
 
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And frankly I'm tired, there are only so many things I am capable of really giving a damn about at any one time. :wink

Hah, I think this is my life philosophy!

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