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Poll: Whose last name does your dc use

  • Mine

    Votes: 28 36.4%
  • Theirs

    Votes: 38 49.4%
  • New one we/I made up

    Votes: 8 10.4%
  • Other

    Votes: 10 13.0%

Poll: Whose last name does your dc use?

4K views 32 replies 32 participants last post by  philomom 
#1 ·
I have a hyphenated last name, as does dear son. So whose last name did you give your child/ren? Yours, theirs or a brand new made up on?
 
#2 ·
I said other. My kids have both names but no hyphen, so for most purposes my maiden name is a second middle. We might have done a hyphenate, but my maiden name is really long and I thought hyphenating it would just be cruel. My DD uses her full name when she introduces herself though, so unless you see it written you wouldn't know.
 
#5 ·
I voted other. Both girls have DH's last name as their last name on their birth certificates and my last name as their second middle name.

However, I use both names, unhyphenated, as my last name so people often do the same with them as well.
 
#7 ·
Hmm... probably should have picked other, but I put "mine" and "theirs", because dh's last name IS my last name. So we all have the same last name. It seems odd to me that that isn't an option, when it was once (and may or may not still be) the most common configuration in the US.
 
#9 ·
Both of our last names, no legal hyphen. I do hyphenate their names for everything though. I specially choose no hyphen but double last name, thinking that it would be easier for them to drop a name in day to day use if that is what they chose. I found that no one knew what to do with the first last name (mine) and would often ignore it. All the kids still use both names.
 
#11 ·
Child one uses father's family name. I used both for that marriage.
Child two uses my family name although his birthcertificat shows both names, no hyphen. Child two is gift of second partnership, then marriage and DH is sadly now in heaven. I believe it is easier to child two to use my name thereby avoiding painful discussion about daddy's whereabouts.
 
#12 ·
I chose made one up. I have 3 kids. 3 diff dads and situations. #1 got his dad's last name (he's a deadbeat and I kind of wish I didn't but I'm not too fond of my maiden name). #2 got his own last name of my creation. So glad I did this. I didn't like my last name, his dad was estranged from his paternal side and didn't care to pass the name on so we gave him a special name of his own. #3 - I'm happily married to dad and baby has his last name. I guess the point is it really doesn't matter. It's all about what feels right.
 
#14 ·
My DS's last name is a combination of mine and my partners. My last name is long and I didn't want to hyphenate so we used part of my last name in combination with my partners to create a "new" last name. It felt natural and was an easy decision for us but we have certainly received a lot of grief from our families. To us it honored both families but to them it was too middle of the road to honor either. We'd do it again though and will for the next one.
 
#15 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by pdxpj View Post

Child one uses father's family name. I used both for that marriage.

Child two uses my family name although his birthcertificat shows both names, no hyphen. Child two is gift of second partnership, then marriage and DH is sadly now in heaven. I believe it is easier to child two to use my name thereby avoiding painful discussion about daddy's whereabouts.
I'm sorry for your loss, but are you saying you want to avoid discussion about your deceased husbands whereabouts with the child or with others?
 
#18 ·
DC has my last name, with a modified version of his father's surname as his middle.
I felt pretty strongly about giving my son my last name. If our family stays strong and endures, we have considered that we all change our surname to the modified middle conjoined to my surname.
This pleases my poetic self greatly, and naming is so special...
Great topic...as a child of the 80s with mom's maiden as a middle, and father's surname, I certainly was an outlier...
 
#19 ·
My own parents hyphenated my mother's FIRST name onto my first, and her LAST onto my father's last. I grew to adulthood successfully feminist, but let me tell you, it wasn't because of the name. Of the many groundbreaking experiments my parents tried in child rearing, the name thing brought little and caused much hassle. I was downright gleeful to ditch my maiden name when I got married.

I am now raising my children unconcerned about saving my maiden name, because I am 100% sure it is not vital to raising a feminist child. Funny story - I got called for jury dury six times in eight years because the DMV and voter rolls they draw names from chopped my name up different ways, so I got called for every flavor. That finally ended when I married. Hyphens are awful with computer systems.

Just wanted to share that perspective.
 
#20 ·
I do feel bad that my children have the whole two last name thing. For me, it was a last resort to give our children two last names. I am the last remaining family member who reproduced and carries that name. I am hopeful that perhaps one of my four children might carry it on at least a while longer. DH absolutely refused for the children not to have his last name. So two last names it was. I've always told the children that they can do whatever they want with the last names when they get older.
 
#21 ·
We decided to choose a new family name when we had our commitment ceremony, and our baby will share that same new last name. People (mostly family) still don't believe that the new last name is real or going to stick since we haven't legally changed it (yet?) but we have assured them that it is, and that the baby will have that new last name too, which sort of seals the deal in my opinion.
 
#24 ·
Mine have both last names (mine, then my partner's, with no hyphen). My last name isn't one I would wish on any school-age child, so generally we just use my partner's when referring to the kids' names, and they can decide later if they keep 2 last names or drop one/use it as a second middle name. I have no issues either way, but for travelling internationally with one parent, I felt it would be better if their ID has both names on it.
 
#25 ·
My parents gave my sister & I a different last name than either of them, we have my grandmother's last name, from before she got married. It caused lots of confusion to have 3 last names in one family, but I love it and so does my sister. There was no way I would ever change my name, and I also just would never consider my kids not having my last name, It was just super important to me, because there is so much meaning behind the name for me, and it sounds cool. My partner was kinda like "eah, I don't really care either way", so we went with my last name for our kids. I do have to say....I think everyone should do what is right for them, but it does bother me how so many people just give their kids the dads last name without even thinking about it, they don't even consider using the moms last name, even if the mom would never change her name when she got married.
 
#26 ·
Yah, I guess it's "other"> I Took my husband's last name when we got married, and then all 3 kids have our last name. ITs' pretty common around here, even in San Diego county, but I guess not here at Mothering.....lol.
 
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