Blessings of parenthood?? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 04-07-2014, 10:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi all,

 

Tomorrow is my egg retrieval day in IVF and I've been getting cold feet.  i don't know if it is because of the hormones, or I'm sick right now, or I'm worried about all of the bad things in the world, but I've been struggling with feeling happy and joyful about bringing a baby into my life.  The time, money, energy I don't have!  

 

I know that I was excited before, that's why I've been down this road of IVF and wrote a big check to do this.

 

But I could use your help.

 

What do you love about being a parent?  What are unexpected gifts?  What makes all the hard work worth it?

 

Thanks in advance!


Me (38), single parent by choice and transgender, TTC #1 via IVF.  

tried unsuccessfully via BD in '01 and unsuccessfully via ICI in '11. Endometriosis, ovarian cysts, anovulation, oh my... left fallopian tube removed in '12. now on to IVF.  my IVF journey is at pride-of-lions.blogspot.com

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#2 of 8 Old 04-07-2014, 09:45 PM
 
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You can post this in infertility. There are lots of mamas there including myself . I have a 3 year old and doing IVF in about 3 weeks. Good luck on your egg retrieval. How many does your doctor suspect he will get? Are you doing fresh or frozen( pgd?)

http://www.mothering.com/community/f/179/infertility
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#3 of 8 Old 04-07-2014, 09:48 PM
 
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Btw
Seeing your baby and having them in your arms after all the hard work, you instantly and forever forget and have a heart full of love and mommyness and then you earn your shield of" nothing can stop me now!"
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#4 of 8 Old 04-08-2014, 07:19 AM
 
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For me the biggest unexpected gift was that I loved being the mother of a baby.  What I'd always looked forward to was having a kid, like 3 years old and up, because I love talking with kids and seeing what they do and explaining things to them.  But when my son was born, I found that he was fascinating and adorable in a way I'd never experienced before and that his dependence on me and certainty that I was the center of the world were incredibly moving and wonderful.  Instead of being irritated at the hard work and lack of sleep and so forth, most of the time I felt privileged to be so special and important and unquestioningly beloved.  It was awesome, and I'm looking forward to doing it again!

 

Best of luck on your journey!  I think it's really a good thing that you feel some misgivings--it shows that you're taking seriously the responsibility you're getting into--but I've certainly had moments in each pregnancy when I've thought, "Wait a minute, am I really up for this?!" and I know it's hard.  Try to think of it as an interesting hike where you aren't sure what's around the bend, but you look forward to seeing it.

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#5 of 8 Old 04-08-2014, 11:04 AM
 
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It really fixed my priorities. All the petty little things I used to get worked up over stopped mattering. I've also made huge steps in fixing my own health as a side effect of keeping our baby healthy. It's easier to have drive to do the important things because you aren't just living for yourself. It broadens your worldview, your baby's fascination with everyday things can help you appreciate things you take for granted.

It's not easy, but it's worth it.

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#6 of 8 Old 04-08-2014, 01:13 PM
 
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You can be a kid all over again! We love running around at the park and going out for ice cream. Everything is exciting to a toddler! You get to make family traditions. Those are a few great things.

The first time your child can say I love is such a heart stopper.

Hugs and kisses at the end of the day are always my favorite when I tuck my dd in for the night.

It's pretty scary especially the first child because it's so life changing! But it is worth it. I am excited for the future when my children are adults and welcome their significant others into our lives.
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#7 of 8 Old 04-08-2014, 05:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all so much - I appreciate it!  I decided to let them extract my eggs and freeze them unfertilized, so I have options but a little more time to catch my breath.  Such a big decision!


Me (38), single parent by choice and transgender, TTC #1 via IVF.  

tried unsuccessfully via BD in '01 and unsuccessfully via ICI in '11. Endometriosis, ovarian cysts, anovulation, oh my... left fallopian tube removed in '12. now on to IVF.  my IVF journey is at pride-of-lions.blogspot.com

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#8 of 8 Old 04-09-2014, 06:41 AM
 
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Hi. New member long time lurker.  I just created an account to reply because I think that I get what you are going through. 

 

When I was 19 I had a tubal ligation.  One marriage later, I am in my mid-20s and want to start a family with my current husband.  The first time I went to see the fertility specialist; I got so nervous I walked out in the middle of the appointment.  Yup. Just left.  Fast forward two years, I go back to the same doctor.  I go through with the reversal surgery and it is successful! Yea! Through out the duration of my pregnancy I had passing thoughts/ minutes/ hours/ days of regret.  I would be up and down.  Elated with the pregnancy and bashing myself for being so stupid to spend all of this money and get pregnant.  I would have to calm myself down by telling myself if this was just something that had happened on its own/ easy I would still feel ambivalent.

 

I think when there are challenges in getting pregnant, the pregnancy seems to be a monumental thing.  I think everyone feels some ambivalence; however it may be a stronger feeling when you are working so hard to get pregnant.  In the end, I am very happy with my decision.  Motherhood is something that you can not predict whether you will like it / be ready for / or anything. 

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