Burned out, seeking support and ideas... - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 4 Old 06-25-2014, 11:25 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Burned out, seeking support and ideas...

Hey Mamas,

I have four kids, and I'm only nursing my youngest, who is 14 months old. I feel like if he's awake, he's nursing, and I'm becoming sore! I have a whole list of complaints, so here goes...

1. We homeschool, and I'm not loving it at the moment. Constant togetherness!
2. Two of my kids have severe anxiety; I have to company them everywhere. EVERYWHERE.
3. One of my anxious kids also has Asperger's and is defiant in the extreme. Did you know defiance could exist even when a parent never says no?
3. Because of various health/behavioral issues, we are gluten and sugar free, and relatively low carb. My Asperger son complains about all food I make. And ,oh, I have to make everything homemade.
4. This doesn't sound so bad, but it's topping my list: I have an ingrown underarm hair, and I was stung on my finger by a yucca plant, rendering my hand nearly useless.
5. I feel like I'm failing my kids. I wish I had a plan.

How do these natural bloggers do it? Make everything homemade, the care of all the kids, BLOG, and feel great. And the tv never comes on?!

Now, I am going to take the big boys to Kung fu, and I can hear the baby waking up.

Pray for me!

Jean

Jean, happy HS mom to Peter (5), Daniel (9) and Lucie (2) and also someone new... baby.gif
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#2 of 4 Old 06-27-2014, 10:36 AM
 
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Why isn't your husband/partner helping?
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#3 of 4 Old 06-27-2014, 03:59 PM
 
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I'm right there with you. Perhaps saying "no" isn't a bad thing, defiance, I feel, needs correcting. They have to be told what is not respectful and isn't ok, and what is. Mine act clueless when I inform them once again they need to use a different tone or phrasing as what they just did was hurtful.

Make easier meals and do batch cooking, we try to keep the same diet and I make grilled chicken for the week's lunch salads all at once (or use canned tuna) and most dinners are just season it and grill,bake, or boil it, nothing fussy. For the pickier ones you might try a few almond flour based recipes for treats though. Leave snacks available they can grab for themselves and you don't care how much they take, for me that's fresh fruit and nuts, sometimes tanka bars or a homemade version, plain yogurt with vanilla and truvia added, applesauce, also corn tortillas and shredded cheese to make microwave quesadillas. Breakfast is most always scrambled eggs and a little bacon, with fresh fruit or veggies cooked in as available.

I grocery shop on DH's day off so I can go alone, it's easy and peaceful and sort of a break. Homeschool isn't going on now we take a summer break from most subjects, I send the kids outside to play or have the older one go read, or give them a movie some days.

Try cortisone cream or soaking in cool water for your yucca sting. A warm wet compress may bring the ingrown hair up enough to pop and pull it.

Don't compare yourself, you could highlight the nicest parts of your life for the world to see if you wanted to, or use that time somewhere productive like you're already doing.
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#4 of 4 Old 06-28-2014, 05:16 PM
 
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I think you should get a sitter and go out for alone time. IME dd senses when I am feeling caged in and it makes her clingy and anxious even at her age. Getting a sitter I trust to meet her needs and going out to do something I love doing helps both of us.

If going out doesn't help you feel more centered I suggest giving school a try for a while since it was at the top of your list. If it's your older children who have anxiety many schools can work with children who have anxiety to separate without too much. I'd definitely work with their counselor to get them to a place where they feel comfortable separating a little more.

If it's the younger children I suggest having their dad or someone else bring them.to.an activity if you can. Young kids typically separate very easily from their father, sometimes even when he is the primary caretaker. If you aren't able to I suggest just sitting and being a safe place for them to turn to and sit on with minimal interactio. This was how I got dd to branchout without pushing her. She found my presence comfortinf but quickly found me boring and went off to explore. It worked so much better than the half pleading/half encouraging approach. I use it a lot as an early childhood educator also and it creates a safe and accepting atmosphere for children.
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