Speaking as the Mom of a still-non-social 15 year old, I say: MAKE THE EFFORT, SERIOUSLY!
Our situation has been your situation for years. We are older parents (I was 39 when ds was born, dh was 44) and, when ds was born, everyone else we knew already had children in their teens. They were busy with their kid's activities, so we didn't fit well then. As their kids grew and reached older ages, the kids did their own thing and their parents filled that void with their own interests. Still not much room for us in that. Younger parents didn't want to hang with us oldies!!
We also live out in the country, nobody else (with children) for quite a distance, outside a very small town. Nearest city of size is over 90 miles away.
Our friends are all very mainstream (cable TV, daycare advocates, formula-only, cio, both parents working, public school, mainstream medicine, lots of sports, etc).
We have never had TV, I was/am a sahm, breastfed until he was 4+, co-slept for years, homeschooled, mainstream+alternative medical care, not into popular sports. Sigh...........
Though we liked/like these people (all of them dh's friends and coworkers), they were past the diapers and infant interests and only discussed baby-related stuff in the past-tense. Many of them are now grandparents, which puts another spin on the gap!
Ds was fairly shy and didn't like the few children he met through friends (their interests weren't his interests). We should have been much "tougher" on making his socialization with other children a higher priority. Dealing with serious eldercare (all 4 of our parents) for 3/4 of his life had him around adults, rather than other kids, but there was no help for this. He is great with adults, mostly (not many share his love of Transformers!), but still shy.
He has been homeschooled and will enter high school, part-time, next week. I know he is nervous (saw it on a forum he posts on, which he doesn't know I read), but won't discuss it, saying he doesn't care one way or another. I am nervous, but what can I do, but assure him it will be okay and not try to make it sound like it will be a horrible (I haven't done that, just said it will be a big change and there will be some adapting!). He is nerdy, very computer-oriented, and not exactly solid. He is slender and, though very mature in some ways, he is very immature in others. I can easily see him being bullied, though I hope it won't happen...........
I would do it all differently, if I could do it all over again. I would have public schooled him and made (some) other changes. Hindsight sucks!
But, I can't, so it will be nerve-wracking for the next several weeks, until we see whether or not he can handle the onslaught of socialization that comes with being the new small fish in a big pond. I am dreading it.....
Sometimes, being the folks with more alternative leanings isn't fair to their children, who had no choice in the matter.
Sorry, I hope this didn't scare you, I just wanted to tell you what it has been like for us.
Last edited by grahamsmom98; 08-17-2014 at 08:51 AM.
Reason: added something