So, dh and I have an only child, a 4 yr old ds. By nature I am not super social. I live in a nice town with a nice community and I know many people. And I could work more on deepening friendships. But in general, I am not someone who likes to go out all the time and be with other people all the time. I am more content being home a lot, and hanging out with ds and dh.
My dh also isn't super social- I mean, we both have friends and if we put more effort into it could deepen friendships. But dh and I really mostly enjoy hanging out with eachothe ( and ds).
The problem is not that I can't meet people or don't know any people that I connect with. It is more that by nature I like to hang out mostly with my husband, and I also like to be alone a fair amount.
So, we have an only child and the little guy for sure does not get enough time playing with other kids. We go out every day, and go to kid things , and to the pool and the park. And he has grandparents near by, and we know a lot of people to chat with when we are out. But we don't have a lot of playdates at all.
I sometimes try to make the effort and find it is quite hard for me! I sometimes feel overwhelmed and having an extra kid over feels extra overwhelming.
Ds stated preschool 3 days a week last year, and next year he will go 4 days a week ( just 1/2 days).
And even last year his preschool teacher suggested that it would benefit ds to have more social interaction with other kids outside of school.
then this year I went through an illness for a number of months which made it even harder for me to socialize ds.
At any rate, I feel badly for ds that he doe not have significant little friends to play with!
I keep wanting to make more effort to have playdates for him but somehow it is very hard for me to follow through! I have managed a few. And now as he gets older I find it is even more important for me to facilitate friendships for him.
So my issues are on a few levels:
One, I feel guilty that because of my not-that -social nature, I am not giving ds the socialization he needs. Like I said, he gets out andabout and chats with people every day- but just does not have much significant play time with other kids ( outside of preschool).
I definitely plan to try to schedule more playdate with the other preschoolers in his class this year.
but even so, it does not at all come easily to me! I have some friends who are much more social than I am and their kids play with other kids all the time.
So I feel guilty that dh and I chose to have ds be an only child and yet he is not socialized enough.
Dh, ds and I are a very loving unit of three- we hang out together all the time. But I know ds needs more kids in his life.
So the other issue about it beyond the guilt is that even though I want to create more kid friendships for ds, and I am willing to stretch my comfort level to do so, I am still not good at actually doing it.
I mean,I don't even really get the logistics of playdates! Is it generally something where the parent drops the kid off ( for a 4 year old) or stays with the kids? I guess either.
and then I get overwhelmed with feeding the other kid, and being responsible for the other kid. I tend to be a bit of a worrier, I am not the most chilled out mom. so I do watch ds pretty cloely so I don't know.
It is just not something I am very good at- watching more than one kid, and figuring out how to even create the kid relationships that ds needs.
Any helpful advice?
My dh also isn't super social- I mean, we both have friends and if we put more effort into it could deepen friendships. But dh and I really mostly enjoy hanging out with eachothe ( and ds).
The problem is not that I can't meet people or don't know any people that I connect with. It is more that by nature I like to hang out mostly with my husband, and I also like to be alone a fair amount.
So, we have an only child and the little guy for sure does not get enough time playing with other kids. We go out every day, and go to kid things , and to the pool and the park. And he has grandparents near by, and we know a lot of people to chat with when we are out. But we don't have a lot of playdates at all.
I sometimes try to make the effort and find it is quite hard for me! I sometimes feel overwhelmed and having an extra kid over feels extra overwhelming.
Ds stated preschool 3 days a week last year, and next year he will go 4 days a week ( just 1/2 days).
And even last year his preschool teacher suggested that it would benefit ds to have more social interaction with other kids outside of school.
then this year I went through an illness for a number of months which made it even harder for me to socialize ds.
At any rate, I feel badly for ds that he doe not have significant little friends to play with!
I keep wanting to make more effort to have playdates for him but somehow it is very hard for me to follow through! I have managed a few. And now as he gets older I find it is even more important for me to facilitate friendships for him.
So my issues are on a few levels:
One, I feel guilty that because of my not-that -social nature, I am not giving ds the socialization he needs. Like I said, he gets out andabout and chats with people every day- but just does not have much significant play time with other kids ( outside of preschool).
I definitely plan to try to schedule more playdate with the other preschoolers in his class this year.
but even so, it does not at all come easily to me! I have some friends who are much more social than I am and their kids play with other kids all the time.
So I feel guilty that dh and I chose to have ds be an only child and yet he is not socialized enough.
Dh, ds and I are a very loving unit of three- we hang out together all the time. But I know ds needs more kids in his life.
So the other issue about it beyond the guilt is that even though I want to create more kid friendships for ds, and I am willing to stretch my comfort level to do so, I am still not good at actually doing it.
I mean,I don't even really get the logistics of playdates! Is it generally something where the parent drops the kid off ( for a 4 year old) or stays with the kids? I guess either.
and then I get overwhelmed with feeding the other kid, and being responsible for the other kid. I tend to be a bit of a worrier, I am not the most chilled out mom. so I do watch ds pretty cloely so I don't know.
It is just not something I am very good at- watching more than one kid, and figuring out how to even create the kid relationships that ds needs.
Any helpful advice?