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#421 of 1095 Old 04-19-2006, 11:08 AM
 
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Just FYI - My 3 yo just did a GREAT job cleaning the bathroom counter over the weekend. We have a brick wall and a bit of leak, so the counter gets full of mortar dust and crud. I set the 3 yo up with some wipes, at her request and it took her 20 minutes, but that counter was spotless. And she was actually very useful. Just wanted to let you all know there is help in site. It takes so much longer to DO things with a toddler helping. But if you can get out of the "get-it-done-mode" (hard for me) and into the just being mode - with an eye that cooking or cleaning together is "quality" time, it really helps. And eventually, sooner than you might think, they actually become useful. I was chopping food for chilli in the kitchen while she cleaned the bathroom counter.

Third generation WOHM. I work by choice.
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#422 of 1095 Old 04-19-2006, 11:15 AM
 
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Hi! I am new to this thread, but not to CC! I have a 1 year old DD who is always busy doing something!
I just wanted to add to the above posters "soon enough they will become useful" My DD has a laundry basket that she pushes around "picking" things up. She gets all her toys and things that are one the floor, puts them in her basket when I am cleaning. Its SO cute!!! Now dont get me wrong, the toys may not STAY in the basket for any given time, but the point is, they want to help, starting SO young!
I just love CC, even though it gives most people total anxiety when they dont know why "you are just letting your kid DO everything" haha
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#423 of 1095 Old 04-19-2006, 12:26 PM
 
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nak

yup!

my 4 year olds are seriously helpful. they make their beds every morning. set table and load dishwasher. quite good at folding laundry. pick up their toys. water plants. rake leaves.... the list goes on.

the best thing is they still love to help and have fun doing it. hopefull this will continue and they don't turn into sullen couch potato teenagers lol.

my dd is quite maternal and calls our 14 month old "my baby". she's such a good mama already, for example, i'll be doing something in the kichen and she's in the family room with him, and she'll run in to get me and say, "Mama, I think my baby wants to nurse!" AND SHE'S RIGHT about 95% of the time!
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#424 of 1095 Old 04-22-2006, 11:23 AM
 
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Late joiner here. Great thread!

I have a 9-week-old daughter who is a long way from being useful, but she sure is starting to socialize!

Zansmom brought up the question back in March about not initiating much conversation with your child, who's supposed to be mostly socializing with his/her own kind, and coming to the adults only when needed. I agree that our society isn't conducive. For ex. my husband and I live 500 miles from our families and we might not have any more kids. There are other babies in our neighborhood, though, so maybe there will be play dates...anyway the point is, we will likely be her primary playmates, so I don't feel like we can go about our own business and leave her to herself, at least not to the extent the Yequanas(sp.?) do.

I wish it was more acceptable to bring your children to work - it would solve a lot of social problems, in my opinion. I am a child therapist and I'm always seeing kids who've been messed up by a lack of time & nurturing from parents early on, and they get "stuck" in infancy where their needs were not met, and develop behavior problems, separation anxiety, etc. It seems to me if our culture supported parents in meeting their young children's needs, everyone would benefit. But NOOOOOO, we have to be the most short-sighted, self-destructive culture on the planet.

Okay I've stepped off my soapbox now. Thanks for listening (reading)!

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#425 of 1095 Old 04-22-2006, 12:03 PM
 
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Just wanted to stop in and say how tcc is working in my life.

Just yesterday I visited a good friend of mine. Ds was actively exploring her apartment while we conversated. I kept my periphereal vision on him but mostly just talked contently. Periodically, ds came over to me to see what I was doing and to bring something over to me that he discovered. I acknowledged him and whatever he was interested in at that moment. I wasn't on top of him like a hawk or telling him not to do things. I just behaved in such a way where I expected him to not get hurt and to listen to mama the rare moments I had to redirect him.

Everything was going fine but my friend is used to constantly saying no and don't or you'll hurt yourself, etc... Interestingly enough, ds who is normally very controlled over his movements, became very clumsy. At one point he tripped while walking (lost balance) and his face banged against the wall.

Do you think those times dc is around a non-cc person will undue all the progress he/she makes with tcc?
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#426 of 1095 Old 04-24-2006, 10:52 AM
 
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What do you all do with friends and family who coo and oogle the baby constantly? I like to exist where the baby is part of the fabric of life and not the center of attention.

Lots of people in our life make a constant fuss over the baby. I can't cut them all out of my life.

Ideas?
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#427 of 1095 Old 04-24-2006, 05:57 PM
 
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As I sit here nursing my week old babe, I must say babies are for oggling. Even in the Yequena culture, babies were oggled. It is one way folks in our culture still connect, by collectively loving up the kids. Not being child-centered doesn't mean pushing people away. We fit it into our culture the best we can and it can embrace the oggling from our community, IMHO.
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#428 of 1095 Old 04-24-2006, 06:48 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PrincessDoll

Do you think those times dc is around a non-cc person will undue all the progress he/she makes with tcc?

You know, I've worried about this, too, especially since i babysit for some exremely non-cc kids (fortunately they're much older than ds). Their house is run with lots of rules, like no climbing on stuff, kids don't get food for themselves, etc. The standards.
But I've been very clear with ds that these are the rules "at this house", not rules for everyday life. And I let him do pretty much whatever he would be doing at home if no-one's around to be bothered... I feel like he's kept his "free-ness"
I know that this doesn't directly address the issue you brought up, the "over-careful" thing. As far as that goes, I've tried to stay out of it when other people address ds, except perhaps to explain to them that he can handle himself.("oh, he's very coordinated") But once he could explain that for himself, I haven't interfered. He's gotten pretty good at defending his actions with fairly logical explanations, and since he sees himself as an equal human to whoever he may be talking with, they usually respect him. On the rare occasions that there's been a power-tripping a**hole, I've just comforted him and redirected him with a "let's go play over here"

Oh, yeah, and I would definitely say that "ogling" is a natural and essential part of babyhood in a community. As long as the baby's wishes are respected. (i.e., letting him just sit quietly in the sling if he feels like it, not bothering him when he's sick or sleepy, etc)
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#429 of 1095 Old 05-20-2006, 04:52 PM
 
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Everything was going fine but my friend is used to constantly saying no and don't or you'll hurt yourself, etc... Interestingly enough, ds who is normally very controlled over his movements, became very clumsy. At one point he tripped while walking (lost balance) and his face banged against the wall.

I have seen so many times when the only times kids fall is when a grown up says "watch out!"

See my thread here... i'm interested in what you all think.
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=455339

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#430 of 1095 Old 05-20-2006, 07:34 PM
 
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We're moving into a house!

A house with an open kitchen with lots of room, where I can put things on deep counters and not worry that DS will easily pull things down in exuberance. A house in which putting a gate up to keep him out of the kitchen is impossible. woohoo!

I'm excited.

It's also a chance at putting our things in better places, so we don't get so concerned. A chance at a new place for the kitty's litterbox, so we don't feel the need to gate off HER room, too, to keep DS out of her poop and her food.

Again, excited!

I feel like I've let my baser fears and worries overtake my beliefs these last almost-2 years. And this new place, with its entirely new layout, is going to be both the challenge to that, as well as the way to let DS be free.

It even has a fenced backyard, so I don't have to take him to our apartment complex's poop-filled, surly-teenager-ridden, playground. I can let him out and not, gasp!, have to be right there on top of him.


Now, there are new worries that are going to challenge me. There are very steep stairs to the second floor, and while he's good at stairs and there's a handrail (which he always uses), I can't get rid of the image of him toppling down to the stone tiles in the entryway below. How can I make this safer for him, so he can be free? How can I get the image out of my head? I don't think he'd fall on a normal day, but I can picture him surprising our cat (they have been separated by my and her choice for almost two years now, with only recent good "meetings"), and having her bolt past him, causing him to startle and tumble.

Come to think of it, I can picture doing that myself.


Does anyone have any suggestions for how I can set things up so he's free to roam and I am free to continue to not have grey hairs? For instance, the litterbox, where to put knives (I'm NOT comfortable letting him have access, though I know many are...I've been cut by knives far too many times by complete accident), how to stop my brain from thinking ACK about the stairs...and so on.

Thanks!
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#431 of 1095 Old 05-20-2006, 08:20 PM
 
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Does anyone have any suggestions for how I can set things up so he's free to roam and I am free to continue to not have grey hairs? For instance, the litterbox, where to put knives (I'm NOT comfortable letting him have access, though I know many are...I've been cut by knives far too many times by complete accident), how to stop my brain from thinking ACK about the stairs...and so on.

Thanks!

we put our litterbox in the laundry area. I guess technically dd does have access to it, but she doesn't go in there. As far as knives and other toxic/dangerous things, those are also in the laundry area up high on a shelf. We could close off the area and she couldn't get to it, but haven't yet had a need. Our bathroom has nothing but deoderant, shampoo, soap and toothpaste. In our kitchen, everything downlow is kidable, and dish soap etc, is in the laundry closet. Glass is all up high, and she's never really told "no" about anything, we just see what she wants to explore and do it with her so she learns safely. Everything else is in that laundry closet. We put the cat's food up on one of our tall dressers (which happens to be in our walk in closet, but we've had it in the bedroom before, and it works fine). Now the steps, we just were really on it about helping her be near the steps. We never gated them off, and just didn't leave her alone in the room with the steps. She's only fallen once, and that was when my MIL said, "OH MY BE CAREFUL!" really loudly. : If you wanted, you could block it off when you are in the other room just with a big box or somethign that your dc needs to make a lot of noise to get around. We mainly u sed our baby monitor for situations like this since we co-slept. I'd put one where she was playing, and clip the thing to my waistband, tell her where I was going (it's amazing how much they understand!) and she'd be fine to play.

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#432 of 1095 Old 05-20-2006, 08:26 PM
 
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The monitor idea is fabulous! As is the *put a box there* idea. That' s how we originally blocked off spaces when he was little. That's also how he learned to climb difficult things so well, as he practiced pulling up on *empty*, unstable boxes.

Alas the laundry area is upstairs near the bedrooms, sort of set in the wall. We'd have to leave it open for kitty...then again, so do you, maybe? But I don't think there's room in there for a litterbox. hmm.

I don't see the landlady letting us install a kitty door anywhere, though that would be a great idea.


It really is wild, how they fall when they are told they will. I finally found a compromise for myself...I will try to say "be mindful" if I just can't resist saying something. Not quite the same as "be careful", though definitely not perfect. If I have a moment to think but still can't resist, I'll try to let him know quickly that I KNOW he is mindful, and that I appreciate it, and he can feel free to continue being mindful in the future...
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#433 of 1095 Old 05-20-2006, 09:03 PM
 
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We do leave it open. Ours is in the kitchen. She will occassionaly walk over and point "kiki poop kiki poop". But she doesn't touch.
T

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#434 of 1095 Old 05-22-2006, 12:58 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mollyeilis
I finally found a compromise for myself...I will try to say "be mindful" if I just can't resist saying something. Not quite the same as "be careful", though definitely not perfect. If I have a moment to think but still can't resist, I'll try to let him know quickly that I KNOW he is mindful, and that I appreciate it, and he can feel free to continue being mindful in the future...
You can also just give information as you would to a fellow competent adult. These stairs are uneven and rocky - or these stairs are sharp, or tricky, whatever. Same as would for any other person.

Third generation WOHM. I work by choice.
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#435 of 1095 Old 05-22-2006, 01:13 PM
 
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What a cool tribe! I was just laying in bed nursing my baby and had alightbulb moment in which I realized that what my life needs is a village to help raise mychildren. I've always beleived it takes a village to rasie a child. I saw this thread eons ago. I got up and came in here and noticed it again, this time reallynoticing it.

I stumbled upon TCC (book) quite by accident. I don't even really remember how. I do remember reading it and just being amazed at connecting with a piece of literature. It was chalkful of how I instrinctively parented my firstborn (I had just given birth to my second, I believe) and how I knew I would instinctively parent my new baby and future children. Something neat I've discoverd about being a TCC mama is that it rubs off. My MIL used tobe all "be careful!" about everything. Now she's not. She's seen me over the years let mychildren run free, discover attheir own pace, etc, and has reallychilled that type of thing out. I even get a kick out of going out to eat with people and them seeing my 2-yr-old pickup a steak knife. I don't even look or acknowledge it and they are buggin' out. I have to tell them to not make a fuss over it because when you makea fuss is when accidents happen.

My baby is waking upnow so I will have to come back to this another time. Some night when they're all in bed I think I'll read this whole thread. Very very cool. You mamas rock and I wish you lived next door to me

Namaste, Tara
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#436 of 1095 Old 05-22-2006, 01:38 PM
 
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Hey Tara, nice to see you! This is the only tribe I'm really into here. And I know we don't live next door, but it's not too far away either.
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#437 of 1095 Old 05-22-2006, 02:46 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellien C
You can also just give information as you would to a fellow competent adult. These stairs are uneven and rocky - or these stairs are sharp, or tricky, whatever. Same as would for any other person.
I do that too, thanks for reminding me! What I was saying above was for those times when I'm really panicky inside and have to say *something* fast, the mature stuff doesn't yet come out, but I can usually tone it down to "mindful".
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#438 of 1095 Old 05-25-2006, 09:35 AM
 
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I've seen this thread floating around for a while now, but this is the first time I've had a chance to read it (though I haven't read the whole thing!)

Quote:
Originally Posted by henhao
I like to exist where the baby is part of the fabric of life and not the center of attention.
How does this work exactly?

DS is 9.5 mo and he IS the center of my life and the center of attention in a lot of situations. At home, he has just recently started to play independently, but he will only very rarely let me out of his sight even for a second (though I'm amazed at how much he understands -- sometimes I can say "mommy's going potty" and he will be calm until I return, knowing that I will be coming right back.) Even if I'm occupied with doing something else, like laundry or dishes, I tend to hover over DS since he's crawling and pulling up but not very stable yet. At my ILs, he's always the center of attention, since he's the only grandbaby and nobody's used to having kids over there. I try not to restrict his movements or actions, but I'll move things out of his way if I feel like he might be harmed or break/tear up something (like magazines - he loves to eat them. At home, that's fine, but I don't think his grandparents would like their Forbes to have baby spit all over it and big holes in the cover )

So how does it work to not have the baby be the center of attention, when he's the only baby and he is by far the most entertaining thing around?

Also, several posters mentioned putting things up high and letting babe have access to cabinets, etc. How harmful is it to use cabinet locks? If you don't use them, what's the best way to let baby know that he can't go in there? We don't keep anything really harmful in our lower cabinets, but there's one really deep cabinet under our kitchen sink that I just don't think would be a safe place to play kwim?

Mama to two crazy boys (8/05 & 9/07) and happy wife to one wonderful hubby.
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#439 of 1095 Old 05-25-2006, 10:37 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tsfairy
DS is 9.5 mo and he IS the center of my life and the center of attention in a lot of situations. At home, he has just recently started to play independently, but he will only very rarely let me out of his sight even for a second (though I'm amazed at how much he understands -- sometimes I can say "mommy's going potty" and he will be calm until I return, knowing that I will be coming right back.) Even if I'm occupied with doing something else, like laundry or dishes, I tend to hover over DS since he's crawling and pulling up but not very stable yet.
In our culture, it's hard for baby to NOT be the center of attention. It's just you and him alone at home. I think the "CC" thing for babies is to be wearing them. You don't have to, then, explain that you're going to be leaving him for a second. He goes with you. That's I guess how he can not be the center of attention; i.e. he's part of you so you don't need to overfocus on him.

OTOH, I love my baby up (dd2) and I won't feel bad about that!

I know there's a lot of misinterpretation about CC and child-centered.

Here's a quote from this article http://continuum-concept.org/reading/in-arms.html:

"Because of the child's need to participate, it is also important that caretakers not just sit and gaze at the baby or continually ask what the baby wants, but lead active lives themselves. Occasionally one cannot resist giving a baby a flurry of kisses; however, a baby who is programmed to watch you living your busy life is confused and frustrated when you spend your time watching him living his. A baby who is in the business of absorbing what life is like as lived by you is thrown into confusion if you ask him to direct it."

Put baby on your back and bring him wherever you go. Find a babywearing support group near you: http://www.nineinnineout.org/
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#440 of 1095 Old 05-25-2006, 10:42 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tsfairy
How harmful is it to use cabinet locks? If you don't use them, what's the best way to let baby know that he can't go in there? We don't keep anything really harmful in our lower cabinets, but there's one really deep cabinet under our kitchen sink that I just don't think would be a safe place to play kwim?
More...

If you feel like you have to tell your baby to not go into a cabinet, then use the locks. It sucks to be NO PATROL as I call it--sucks for mama and kid. I use this line of thinking even with my 4-yr-old. For example, if we have junkfood (bought by dh :P) and she asks for it, she gets it (sometimes after she eats some protein first). If dh doesn't want her to have it, it shouldn't be in the house.

Make sense?
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#441 of 1095 Old 05-25-2006, 10:43 AM
 
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For those that don't know about Scott, he's a CC parenting coach. Sign up for his daily emails. See below for today's.

THE DAILY GROOVE for May 25, 2006

:: Go With the Flow... Even If It's 'Wrong' ::

Sometimes we think we're doing our kids a favor when
we tell them the "right" way to do something:
"No, dear... Do it *this* way."

We think we're just saving them the hassle of
reinventing the wheel, or preventing something from
being "wasted," or saving time. But our corrections
also send unintended, unspoken messages, like...

* The end result is more important than the process.
* Efficiency is more important than joy.
* There is no value in making mistakes.
* Better to go with a "sure thing" than to take risks.

In other words, frequently correcting children
undermines their (and our) creativity!

So next time you see your child doing something the
"wrong" way, ask yourself if it's really so bad that
you can't go along with it. See if you can relax and
enjoy witnessing his or her process of discovery.

Children who are allowed to find their own way learn
that they *can* find their own way.

:: http://www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove ::

Feel free to forward this entire message to your friends!

Permalink:
http://www.enjoyparenting.com/daily-groove/wrong-way

The Daily Groove is a service of EnjoyParenting.com
Copyright (c) 2006 by Scott Noelle
--
"Inspiration & Coaching for Progressive Parents" http://www.ScottNoelle.com http://www.EnjoyParenting.com 1-360-344-3117, or toll-free in US: 1-877-ALL-4-JOY (1-877-255-4569)
Voicemail: 1-206-203-4569
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#442 of 1095 Old 05-25-2006, 11:13 AM
 
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To the poster wondering how to be CC when it's you and baby home all day, I think the most important thing IME is as others have posted, to go on about your day as much as you can. My baby did laundry with me, ran errands, did gardening(!), dishes, cooking, etc. either in a sling or a pile of laundry in a laundry basket or lying next to me on a blanket while I gardened. When we had playdates, I made sure to get some adult conversation in there too, instead of making my interactions with adults have to revolve around babies, which I think is kind of strange to be honest and definitely not CC. Babywearing is essential, but as they get older and enjoy crawling/toddling around, I have found it interesting to move around the house making beds, picking up, etc. and he pretty much crawls/toddles after me as I go. He'll stop to explore something then catch up to me whereever I am. I am on the record (on this thread) lol as being "CC lite" - meaning I do what I can but the realities of my life make it impossible to imitate what the Yequana would do! So I try my best to incorporate CC theories into our lives mainly because I think focusing 100% on children isn't healthy (for them or me) and I have no intention of letting my house go to pot just because I have babies. I still have work to do, kwim? Further, I think it's wonderful how they join in at such an early age and try to do grown-up things (my 15 month old is currently working on becoming a darn good vacuumer and can already put his dishes in the dishwasher), as opposed to the other way around (i.e., mom spending all day long on the floor playing with baby toys). He has NEVER bolted from me, and neither have my older twin 4 year-olds. So being CC extends to when you're at a playground or just out and about -- when he ventures off I make sure I can see him but I do NOT go to him. I wait for him to come back to me, then I hug and kiss him (reward). I think a lot of times parents inadvertently teach children to wander off/bolt in public, by constantly following their children around instead of the CC way which is the children follow the grown-ups around! The latter makes a lot more sense and is a lot safer too.

Sorry for my ramblings, just wanted to post that yeah, being CC for a lot of us is about compromises but you can infuse your day with CC elements that can actually have a big impact on your daily life and your children's behavior.
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#443 of 1095 Old 05-25-2006, 11:17 AM
 
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Yes, I am familiar with Scott from the cc email listserve. He has some insightful things to offer.

Quote:
DS is 9.5 mo and he IS the center of my life and the center of attention in a lot of situations. At home, he has just recently started to play independently, but he will only very rarely let me out of his sight even for a second. Even if I'm occupied with doing something else, like laundry or dishes, I tend to hover over DS since he's crawling and pulling up but not very stable yet.
This is around the time that I made our home as much of a "yes" environment as possible. I put all choking hazards out of sight, put locks on any cabinets/toilet that were off-limits to ds, and valuables were placed out of reach, etc. In each room, I also placed items in drawers specifically for him. In the kitchen, he has several drawers filled with his items, in the living room, one of the drawers in the computer desk is filled with his items, etc. Since I don't have 2 levels in our apartment, every room is open to ds. He has access to any room I am in so that he is free to follow me when I go into another area. Setting up our environment this way allowed me to feel more confident in giving ds the space to just "be" and explore without hovering. Sure he received a couple of bumps and bruises along the way but nothing every serious. Our environment was very much a yes one and so I was able to sit back and let ds just "be".



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At my ILs, he's always the center of attention, since he's the only grandbaby and nobody's used to having kids over there. I try not to restrict his movements or actions, but I'll move things out of his way if I feel like he might be harmed or break/tear up something (like magazines - he loves to eat them. At home, that's fine, but I don't think his grandparents would like their Forbes to have baby spit all over it and big holes in the cover )
Are you there often? If so, maybe you can discuss with your in-laws about creating the room that you spend the most time in more of a "yes" environment. If they are unwilling to accomodate, I would rethink spending so much time over there and rather invite the grandparents over to your place where dc is able to freely explore with the least amount of interference.


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So how does it work to not have the baby be the center of attention, when he's the only baby and he is by far the most entertaining thing around?
There were a couple of posts about this a couple of pages back. Very informative too.
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#444 of 1095 Old 05-26-2006, 01:41 AM
 
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I love this thread.
God, I wish you all lived here in Berkeley!
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#445 of 1095 Old 05-26-2006, 03:15 AM
 
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To those of you who *do* utilize cabinet locks, have you tried the Tot-Locks (or Tot-Loks, not sure of product spelling)? The problem we had with regular locks is that they do open just enough to intrigue. DS quickly realized what he could do to get in, and that's when we had to gate off the kitchen.

The TotLocks *seem* to allow the door to be completely and totally shut, no small opening to stick your finger in to push anything down. Then you grab the magnet "key" and can open it. But without the key, it seems you can't open the cabinet at all.

Which I think is great, because it's possible Eamon will think it's just a blank bit of wall. And then when I open it, perhaps he will think I'm a shaman with magical powers.

Anyway, seems better in the "CC-lite" (LOVE that phrase) world than a cabinet lock that allows a *bit* of access that will interest the kiddo in a place you're trying to keep away from him/her.

Anyone have thoughts on that?
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#446 of 1095 Old 05-26-2006, 10:06 AM
 
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#447 of 1095 Old 05-26-2006, 11:16 AM
 
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Originally Posted by pbandj
Someone please assure me this is a phase because she is transitioning into being her own person rather than being worn all day long?
It is all a phase. For all of us. And it will change and be harder and easier in different ways. After they sleep easily, they sleep less. When they don't mind you leaving more, they want to be out and about more. When it is easier to take them out, they want to stay home. It all changes.

We just aren't evolved to parent young children alone. It is hard when we choose to do so. But, I am not going to invite MY mother or sister or inlaws(all mainstream) to come live with us. Choices have benefits, and costs. So do cribs, bottles and diapers.....

Frankly, if you are sane enough, I'd have another child sooner than later. Then all the baby phase is done faster. We stopped at one, waiting for us to be able to cope with another baby phase. But, it is so much easier now, and in different ways more challenging (like having an opinionated, autonomous little 5 year old requires different coping skills). Adding a baby now would be really tough for us. Plus we are older, 43 and 47. I think parenting is probably easier when you can be sleepless and still have energy.

Best wishes. Hope that helps.

Pat

I have a blog.
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#448 of 1095 Old 05-26-2006, 11:42 AM
 
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Originally Posted by zansmama
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I love this thread.
God, I wish you all lived here in Berkeley!
I'm in Berkeley!
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#449 of 1095 Old 05-26-2006, 11:44 AM
 
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http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SoCalTCC

Mama to two amazing homeschooling boys born in 1999 and 2002
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#450 of 1095 Old 05-26-2006, 11:49 AM
 
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Do women in other countries wake up and go to sleep with their babies without any (ANY) breaks inbetween?
That is where we Westerns diverge from the Yequana women. They are not raising their children in isolation. When they need a break, there is always another pair of hands close by. The children are still receiving human stimulation and the mama is able to recharge. What I have done is get connected with some local Women's Bible Studies and left ds in the nursery to get that chance to refuel. Can you do something like that?
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