Continuum concept (ish) Tribe - Page 19 - Mothering Forums

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#541 of 1095 Old 07-10-2006, 01:21 PM
 
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For some reason, the idea of what people do in their little brains doesn't bother me, so for that reason nudity doesn't bother me with a little one.

However, do you know all your neighbors? Do they all like you? In this country, day, and age, I would be worried about someone being shocked or angry with me or whatever, and calling some sort of authority about it. That concerns me more than what some perv is thinking.


Also, I was a naked-toddler myself, and once while watering the garden while naked I tripped and jammed a piece of wood from a stake between my toes (ouch ouch ouch, still don't know what hurt worse; that or the needle with anesthetic between my toes to take it out) AND that same stake ALMOST hit my littlegirl bits and pieces. If I had been just an inch over, it might have caused a really gross injury. So for that reason, naked running around outside worries me a bit, but if it's just lawn and no gardening stakes, then that's better.
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#542 of 1095 Old 07-10-2006, 01:41 PM
 
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We have a traditional-style wooden highchair. It's true that EnviroBaby can't get into or out of it by himself, but we respond to his cues and don't make him stay in it if he's done. In addition to eating there, he sits in it to watch us cook and kneels on it to help wash dishes.

My opinion on nudity is that it's not something we do in public. It's fine in the house or in a sheltered yard when the only people present are family and close friends, or in a public locker-room or similar situation, but we do not walk out the front door naked or take off our clothes on the sidewalk. We model this for EnviroBaby and discourage him if he wants to disrobe inappropriately. It's just another part of living in our culture.

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#543 of 1095 Old 07-10-2006, 04:08 PM
 
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to Mollyeilis....funny you should ask if all my neibours like me!!! No!! they have been plotting against me since they seen me go to the open house when we were looking ...they were over here trying to talk the previous owners into not selling to me because i have pink hair!!! And dh has both his ears pierced so he must be wild!

i just live peacefully though so i don't let it bother me but your point is very valid...i just know that everyone else in town just absolutely adores me so if they ever did complain i'd have a whole town of people to back me up.

mostly i just wanted a cc idea on public nudity not personal opinions...kwim?
also what is the cc approach to "making" children keep their clothing on?
I know when we go to a public pool this week it will be a huge issue! i hate to make her...if only i could get her to at least keep her bottoms on!!!

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#544 of 1095 Old 07-10-2006, 04:22 PM
 
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Well, I answered the way I answered because I can't imagine there really IS a CC thought on it. I mean, how could there be, right? If we were all living closely with relatives and such, working to get by all day with our kids roaming around helping when wanted not helping when wanted...there's no worry of CPS, yes? But that's not the way our world is, sad to say.

It's also why I mention the non-opinion story of what happened while I was naked...it was a living in the jungle moment as I gardened naked, and it had a rather negative physical impact on me, as well as the emotional memory of fear that I'd impaled myself... The rest of the time I was still happily naked for several years, but I never went near the garden while naked again.
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#545 of 1095 Old 07-10-2006, 04:38 PM
 
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so true. sorry that happened to you and sorry if you thought i wasn't interested in your story...i am very interested in your stories and everything you have ever have to say! i just want to stay focused on tcc. it's all relevant though.


dd has been putting things there too! like small craft supplies...stickers...and likes to tatoo her body(marker,pen..) and so being naked just gives her more canvas space. Sometimes i just don't know what to do...in all my years of having boys they have never colored their penis and wanted to show everyone their "tatoos"! sometimes its difficult to allow her the freedom to do the things she wants to do, explore the things she needs to explore and follow the laws of society at the same time.

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#546 of 1095 Old 07-10-2006, 04:57 PM
 
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I live in suburban america and I have no problem with my 3 yo being naked around the neighborhood, front yard, etc. In fact, the preferred way for her to enter the neighborhood kiddie pools and front lawn sprinklers is naked. We use swim suits at the public pool as that is the "done thing." I don't really worry about the sickos who I figure would be looking at her anyway.

At 3 she shows some signs of awareness of her nudity. She wet her pants at a dance function one evening and I went to change her into dry underwear that I had brought and she asked to do that in the bathroom. I went to put her PJs on after a wedding on Friday and again, she asked for a more private space. But around the neighborhood, nakedness seems to be the done thing. I think she'll grow into neighborhood inhibitions as well in good time. I'm not in a rush for her to be clothed all the time outdoors.

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#547 of 1095 Old 07-11-2006, 12:30 PM
 
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Ds has never really cared about clothes_ on or off. But I kept his clothes off a lot between ~18 months and 2 1/2 for potty learning purposes, and wow, did that go well. I really want him to feel comfortable in his own skin, so to speak.
Out of the house... well until recently, he's always gone naked at the lake (some boys made fun of him, and I don't want my principles to have a negative effect on his interactions with other people), and at a local playground with a water play area, a lot of the kids strip as soon as they get there, so ds of course joins in. Some of the parents are offended, but first of all, this park has been this way since I was a kid, and secondly, I think a healthy attitude toward the human body is one that sees it as beautiful, not "dirty", esp when we're talking about a gang of 3 year olds.

Anyway, tcc view on this, I think, would be based, first of all, on the kid's own desire, and second on the community. I.e., my ds, who doesn't care at all, would wear clothes most of the time, because it's the norm in our society, but another dc, who didn't want clothes, would not be forced to. Usually in a situation where ds's desires do not coincide with our society, if it's very important (diaper changing, for instance), or like wearing clothes at the grocery store, or something, I would make a deal with him: "you do this for me, and in exchange I'll do something for you". In this way his dignity is intact, and he is still choosing the action to take, not being forced.

i don't know if this makes sense, but it's my two cents...
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#548 of 1095 Old 07-23-2006, 06:33 PM
 
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An acquaintence of mine is having her first baby and I wanted to gift her with a book to read while she is pregnant. A wonderful woman loaned me her copy of TCC while I was pregnant and I am very grateful to her for this. However, I was already receptive to (and seeking) the concepts in the book, so I didn't mind the length and depth of the book. I am unsure that my acquaintence (actually a client) is receptive per se, but I know she is doing a lot of soul searching and I wanted to make sure she had some AP/CC material handy.

Does anyone have a "TCC Light" type book to recommend?

Thanks and hope you're all staying cool - Jamie
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#549 of 1095 Old 07-23-2006, 07:23 PM
 
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Dr Sears' books are pretty cool, though not strictly cc.

i really love the book "Nature's Children" by Juliette de Bairacli-Levy, and i really wish someone had given it to me when i was pregnant: I didn't it discover it until a year later. It has a lot of CC type concepts, along with lots of very simple herbal remedies, and some recipes and natural advice.
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#550 of 1095 Old 07-24-2006, 02:04 AM
 
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I'm reading a great great book called "Natural Child" by JAN HUNT. Its wonderful and the forward was written by our very own Peggy Omara, so its definetely 'mothering' approved!

When I first picked up TCC I had to get out my dictionary and it took all my concentration to understand her writing style. But maybe I'm just : but I thought it was a challenging read.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mara's Mama
An acquaintence of mine is having her first baby and I wanted to gift her with a book to read while she is pregnant. A wonderful woman loaned me her copy of TCC while I was pregnant and I am very grateful to her for this. However, I was already receptive to (and seeking) the concepts in the book, so I didn't mind the length and depth of the book. I am unsure that my acquaintence (actually a client) is receptive per se, but I know she is doing a lot of soul searching and I wanted to make sure she had some AP/CC material handy.

Does anyone have a "TCC Light" type book to recommend?

Thanks and hope you're all staying cool - Jamie
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#551 of 1095 Old 07-24-2006, 12:17 PM
 
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Give her Our Babies, Ourselves by Meredith Small, it's the modern and more scientific version of TCC...
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#552 of 1095 Old 07-26-2006, 11:13 PM
 
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I just found this thread and am so glad to see it! I just finished re-reading TCC, after reading it about 10 years ago. I always knew I wanted to be a cc'er, it felt totally right to me, and have held DS constantly, but he is 6mos now, and rolling all over the place - aproaching the age where I will have to decide whether/how much to babyproof, etc.

I had the excellent fortune to live with a friend and cc'er when her kids were little, (they are now independent, sensitive, intellegent wonderful teenagers) and she modeled not freaking out about "danger", so I was prepared to be a relaxed mom, and then we had a near-death experience with my ds, home birth, then 911 call at 5 hours old, and a week in ICU. I was reading back around page 27 of this thread about some of the grief around early separation - I barely got to hold DS until day 4. I just now am starting not to have constant panic that he will die - so my laid back, let them learn for themselves thing will be hard for me. Its great to hear how other folks are dealing with this. Esp the safety thing. Amazing how that is so much harder than the in arms part- which I love, aching back and all.

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#553 of 1095 Old 07-26-2006, 11:15 PM
 
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Oh, wow - never noticed this tribe! Replying to sub!

~Marie : Mom to DS(11), DS(10), DD(8), DD(4), DD(2), & Happily Married to DH 12 yrs.!
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#554 of 1095 Old 07-29-2006, 12:07 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaAllNatural
I felt that she based every thing on this one small tribe so some of her "arguments" were a bit weak in that respect.
ITA! I was just talking to my friend about this yesterday. Most books I read have facts, then logic, then testimonials. This book has testimonials from one small, isolated culture, then logic, and a couple facts. I'm not saying that I disagree with this book, it's just not as powerful as some others, which may seem (to some) to negate the validity of her ideas.

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#555 of 1095 Old 08-01-2006, 04:04 PM
 
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subbing...
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#556 of 1095 Old 08-08-2006, 05:51 PM
 
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: bumpity bump!!

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#557 of 1095 Old 08-15-2006, 07:53 PM
 
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#558 of 1095 Old 09-06-2006, 02:42 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KeanusMomma
ITA! I was just talking to my friend about this yesterday. Most books I read have facts, then logic, then testimonials. This book has testimonials from one small, isolated culture, then logic, and a couple facts. I'm not saying that I disagree with this book, it's just not as powerful as some others, which may seem (to some) to negate the validity of her ideas.
What you say is right. At the same time, the ideas in this book are fascinating and compelling. That's probably why so many folks are interested in the subject. For me, I take what works and ditch what doesn't. Would I let my baby play with long swords? Um, no. Did I let her learn to use a cup by herself at 6 mos? Yes. Did I encourage her to "sit" at the table when she wanted to at 3 months? Yes. Do I let her explore her foods by sticking her hand into a jar instead of worrying that she'll get "messy"? Yes.

For me, this book goes beyond the need for "proof" and "science" because doing some of what the book talks about feels "right" to me. My intuition says "yeah!" My intuition says to let her function at the top of her capacities and teach her what is dangerous instead of hiding everything so she never learns. Yes, I'll rid the house of poisonous chemicals we used to use to clean and replace them with vinegar to be safe. But I'm not going to freak out about every elec outlet. I do use gates on the stairs and also sit with her as she explores how to get down the stairs. Same with strangers. Let her interact (under guidance) with strangers so she learns to use her own intuition about who is good and who isn't.

Several times, I've found my family freaking about something I feel calm about. Yes, it looked like she was going to fall off of the couch. ***But she did not.** And I was sitting right next to her if she did. Yes, it looked like she was going to throw food somewhere or hit her head...**but she did not**. She is learning to keep herself safe. She is learning how we act in social events.
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#559 of 1095 Old 09-14-2006, 09:35 PM
 
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henhao, you pretty much summed it up for me too. I think it is silly to subscribe completely to any one particular theory in general. Like everything else, you take what works for you and your family and gloss over what doesn't.

I have given up on trying to get my MIL to interact with my son in a more cc way and that doesn't bother me at all. She constantly comments on "how brave he is" "why the other toddlers wouldn't even go near the animals but CJ is so brave to be comfortable in the animal pen" or "he is so independent and fearless" etc.... I wanna shout at her, "How do you think he got that way?!?!?! Not from hovering over him like you do!" lol....but I just let it slide and smile politely and say "thank you" because ultimately she is complimenting my parenting style, the very one she refuses to implement.
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#560 of 1095 Old 09-15-2006, 02:02 PM
 
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Re: the style of the book, I think a lot of people (including, in some passages, the author!) mistake it for a how-to or advice book. It isn't. It's more like, "Here are a bunch of ideas that really blew my mind! I want everyone to think about them, and I hope you'll be as transformed by them as I was."

For those who like the book BECAUSE of that rather than DESPITE it, I have another book to recommend: In the Country of the Young by John W. Aldridge. This is a book about the effects of the Baby Boom and related phenomena on American society, written in 1969. It is packed with amazing insights, particularly from today's perspective because you can see how the trends he outlines have played out. But it is lacking a clear central thesis and does a lot more explaining of what's wrong than instructing us what to do about it.

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#561 of 1095 Old 09-15-2006, 02:10 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EnviroBecca
For those who like the book BECAUSE of that rather than DESPITE it, I have another book to recommend: In the Country of the Young by John W. Aldridge.
Hey, sounds interesting. If you want, post it here too:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...6&goto=newpost
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#562 of 1095 Old 09-16-2006, 07:04 PM
 
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Hey, I am receiving Scott Noelle's enjoyparenting Daily Grove, which I really like. http://www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove Is there a message board for TCC that he posts on? I love hearing his positive viewpoint.

Thanks, Pat

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#563 of 1095 Old 09-16-2006, 07:23 PM
 
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#564 of 1095 Old 09-16-2006, 07:35 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by super kitty
He posts often to the actual TCC list....

http://www.continuum-concept.org/membership.html
Thanks for the link. I registered, but is there a message board or just a search function? I couldn't locate the message board with this link. (btw, I am not computer savvy and may have totally overlooked it.)

Thanks,

Pat

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#565 of 1095 Old 09-16-2006, 07:39 PM
 
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#566 of 1095 Old 09-16-2006, 08:18 PM
 
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btw, I am not computer savvy

I still can't figure out how to join the list. :


Pat

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#567 of 1095 Old 09-16-2006, 08:19 PM
 
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#568 of 1095 Old 09-16-2006, 08:35 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by super kitty
http://www.continuum-concept.org/forum/index.html

Try this link... Not far down there are instructions.

I am hopeless, I did that. (insert pulling hair out of my head icon!!) The address didn't "send" for some unknown reason other than to make me


It is not meant to be.


Pat, thanks anyway

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#569 of 1095 Old 09-16-2006, 08:42 PM
 
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#570 of 1095 Old 10-17-2006, 01:43 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WuWei View Post
Hey, I am receiving Scott Noelle's enjoyparenting Daily Grove, which I really like. http://www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove Is there a message board for TCC that he posts on? I love hearing his positive viewpoint.

Thanks, Pat
You like the Daily Groove? Great! (I love it, and have had over-the-phone coaching by Scott.)
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