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#241 of 1093 Old 06-14-2005, 12:40 PM
 
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Haven't figured out the spitting thing myself--both girls either suck in air or stick their tounge out.

As far as the gates. Mia, now 13 mo, started crawling down the steps at 8 mos. Taught her to go to the top turn around and crawl down backwards. She has slipped once, but just off the bottom two steps. She tried to stand up and walk down when she was watching her big sister do it. No injuries and she didn't try it again. The steps are very close to the kitchen, so when I really wanted her to stay upstairs (while I was cooking) I would push a piece of furniture in front of the opening. I could never get comfortable with her playing downstairs without me down there. Now she has been walking for a couple of months and wants to walk down the stairs forwards, but she is way to short to reach the next step. She stands at the top and hangs one foot over the edge. I remind her to "sit down" and she does it the right way. She is a crazy daredevil however, and I sense she may soon be willing to endure pain to find a faster way down. We will see how that goes. Overall, she is very aware of height and edges and is careful about any kind of step wherever we are. With a gate I would worry that she would never learn about steps and would not be safe anywhere but our house.

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#242 of 1093 Old 06-30-2005, 12:19 PM
 
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Hi CC Mamas! I'm so excited to find this thread! I'm also on the TCC list and have been learning so much ever since I read the book when DC#2 was born. I think a lot of my instinct was seriously clouded by the way I was raised. I was always AP, but I didn't find my groove until I read TCC and realized I could meet my needs and my kids'. Anyway, I've loved reading this thread.

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#243 of 1093 Old 07-03-2005, 02:36 PM
 
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I finally got this book through Inter Library Loan. I wonder how many public libraries have this? It would be worth putting in requests so that more people come across it when perusing the shelves. I am certainly going to do so here.

One of the reasons I enjoyed the book so much is that I don't get the feeling the author is trying to tell me what to do. Therefore she doesn't try to make things sound more do-able or more acceptable to her readers. We get to read exactly what she observed and what she thought and process it however we choose.

I find that some of the other parenting books that attempt to convey some of the same principles of trust, reciprocity, respect, etc do so in a much more heavy-handed manner precisely because they try so hard to acknowledge that we can't do these thigs all the time, and generally try to make what they are saying palatable to the reader. As if the goal was to produce a method that we could follow. Sometimes it seems like a dumbed-down version of TCC, to me.

I have lived among tribal families for short stretches and one of the very first things I noticed was that they simply do not order their children. I am neither an anthropologist nor a diamond miner and my interactions with the families were very different. But after reading TCC I could recall many of the qualities Liedloff has observed.
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#244 of 1093 Old 07-03-2005, 02:51 PM
 
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Thanks for sharing, aravinda.


I'd love to hear more of your perspective of the tribe(s) you spent time with.
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#245 of 1093 Old 07-03-2005, 02:53 PM
 
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An update in case anyone was curious how things were going with the 'wake up in a complete night-terror-esque-fit even during the days/naps' issue with the buggle.... seems that he just needs a really dependable schedule as far as rest, and as long as he doesn't get behind on sleep (solid 10-11 hours at night + 2-3 hour nap in the day), he's much better... AND interestingly enough, being too warm while sleeping, which results in him waking up all sweaty, also can trigger these episodes. Not that this is necessarily on topic, but I was really confused about how to deal with this whole thing from a CC point of view, since my instinct was to hold him in my arms and let him cry until he was finished so he would feel safety and my stability in my embrace, but he wouldn't let me touch him so it was just really confusing, the only really confusing thing that has left me without really knowing what to do according to instinct in my mothering journey thusfar.

So that's better... plus I am nursing him again now since I'm 'out of the woods' with the pregnancy, so to speak, carrying around a 6lb.+ baby who will be just fine if born anytime this month, so I don't worry about the contractions that nursing triggers any longer, although it is painful to nurse. Maybe that's helping him cope with his world and get less frustrated nowadays also....

My son loves to spit but doesn't do a great job--sort of like blowing his nose. He totally gets what I'm trying to get him to do, he just isn't great at it. He's SO careful when it comes to steps and things and I don't worry about him having an accident much, and we've never been anal about babyproofing by any means, but at my in-laws they have very slippery hardwood floors, my son is usually dressed in cotton or wool which makes him really slippery on the floors, and they have a stairway which is fatally dangerous if my son were to fall down towards the basement from the main floor (or down to the main level from the top floor).... they have no baby gates so we've always just been cautious and near him when he's by the stairs. I'm certain that with a new baby about to be born I won't feel as comfortable with this arrangement when we are visiting, with my attention comprimised amongst my two sons, and I will insist that they put a gate on their most dangerous stair-top for when we are visiting. I'm not sure how TCC that is, but.... I'd just feel so nervous with the wide open serious drop right there in the middle of the home with such slippery flooring.....which is a type of thing that wouldn't occur in nature (glossy hardwood floors next to by a very steep wooden staircase leading down) so I have to deal with these modern issues with modern solutions.
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#246 of 1093 Old 07-03-2005, 02:55 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by May May
I'd love to hear more of your perspective of the tribe(s) you spent time with.
:
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#247 of 1093 Old 07-16-2005, 07:35 AM
 
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#248 of 1093 Old 07-16-2005, 06:17 PM
 
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. I'm not sure how TCC that is, but.... I'd just feel so nervous with the wide open serious drop right there in the middle of the home with such slippery flooring.....which is a type of thing that wouldn't occur in nature (glossy hardwood floors next to by a very steep wooden staircase leading down) so I have to deal with these modern issues with modern solutions.

Well I think that in addition to taking our childrens abilities and survival instinct into account our own comfort level in trusting it must also be accounted for and I think it is reasonable that we all have lines we draw at which point we arent comfortable with just trusting that everything will be OK.
I trust my kids to climb all over the couches and their low climbing equipment and their kid sized tables and chairs. (my mom just hovers and hates this so much! LOL) But I wouldnt be comfortable letting my 3 year old on the roof or playing by the street.
She mentions in the book that we can only hope to follow this part of the CC so much in modern society.
I dont think such dangers were absent in tribal societies. (anybody ever see pueblos? Families living right on cliff faces).
I do think that I can trust my children to safely navigate their environment for the most part, however, there comes a point where I have to step in too.

I just had an idea. If there was any way to affix the gate 3 steps down or so. The gate is not right there preventing the child from becoming familiar with his boundaries (the top of the stairs) But a fall wouldnt be dangerous.
I would just use the gate and not feel guilty.

p.s. Hi I'm Joline and I just found this thread.
I just read TCC a couple of months ago but this is pretty much how I always parented my oldest (now 13) I have been more protective of my younger 3 as an older mom but I am trying to become more in touch with my older wisdom and confidence.

Her insight about how western parents teach their chldren to run from them was a HUGE lightbulb for me! And I have almost ended the habit in my 21 month old son by simply not chasing him. LOL
Joline
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#249 of 1093 Old 07-25-2005, 01:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by johub
.[I] I trust my kids to climb all over the couches and their low climbing equipment and their kid sized tables and chairs. (my mom just hovers and hates this so much! LOL) But I wouldnt be comfortable letting my 3 year old on the roof or playing by the street.
I let ds him climb all over the house, he used to sit on top of the fridge, he didn't goof off, he just liked to do it, he's a monkey. Grandma just about had a fit when she heard about that one, lol. Although the other day she commented how dd is so comfortable playing on the floor, she was worried 'cause I kept her in that sling all the time, thought I'd never be able to put her down. I told her that's she's probably comfortable being there because I keep her in the sling a lot and grandma even replied 'hmmm, she's more secure'.

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.[I]
I have been more protective of my younger 3 as an older mom but I am trying to become more in touch with my older wisdom and confidence.

Joline
IKWYM, I do worry that I'm going to hover more over dd because it's been 8 years, I'm already more nervous over things I didn't think twice about with ds.
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#250 of 1093 Old 07-25-2005, 09:01 PM
 
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That is so funny! WHy is that?
They say that it is the first time moms who are so nervous!
Not me.
My first baby was a miracle that just took over my life when I was very young.
My next was 10 years later, after 10 years of waiting. All that waiting can make a mama a little more protective maybe.
Joline
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#251 of 1093 Old 07-26-2005, 01:03 PM
 
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my ds just started crawling a few months back and now is crusing around. My mom hated that we slept him in our bed (wanted a playpen or crib JUST for safety). ds did fall once and after that he religiously wakes up from his nap crawls to the edge and calls for me! Also just this week he started climbing out of the bed by himself! 9 mos old!! I am always close by and when I see his attempt I pay close attention in case he does slip (and I dive to keep his head from smacking) but he is pretty good! besides toys and logical babyproofing (cleaning supplies tucked away and precious things that could break tucked away) he has roams the house and i am always impressed.

I think it is important when you read a book or are going by a certain philosphy to blend it into your individual lifestyle. If you look at that shiny wood floor and those steps and feel uncomfortable find a way where you are comfortable but your baby still gets experience (i liked the gate with 3 or 4 stairs left for baby to climb) One of the huge differences between most of our lives and that of tribal lives is community. gramma, big sis, aunties, bros where all around and although their focus was not to protect the baby (or maybe it is at times?) that is what everyone does in the presence of a baby. Now I am home alone in a house and if I have to spend a few moments in the bathroom I do not feel comfortable leaving the front door open which leads to 4 concrete steps kwim? HOwever on the weekends and at night dh and our two roommates come home so I never worry what he is doing because there is always a person somewhere around to guide him if he finds himself in a sticky predicament. many of the people posting in this thread comment on how when they read the book they felt as though they had already been raising their children this way. that is the key...to parent intuitively and find inspiration and guidance from books and philosophies. It can be difficult to live up to the parenting standards of a tribe in the middle of a jungle when you live in suburbia in a single family home on a busy street. try to find some balance.
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#252 of 1093 Old 07-26-2005, 01:27 PM
 
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well said hillary!!

I have a danger zone inmy house. on of my friends came over and asked if i was afraid Jewely would hurt herself. i said no, and she hasn't. it is dangerous to. a narrow hall with wood on the floor nails and toolboxes in there. something noone in their right this day and age mind would let a child walk through. but i do and I don't worry about it. she has been going through there since she started walking. (knock on wood :LOL )

then along the lines of power of suggestion, not a safety issue but i really view it in the same category. DD has an easel in her room with markers, crayons, and chalk. (the same mother mentioned above who incidently/coincidentaly gives her kids colorwonder arkers) asked(in front of Jewely and her DD) if i was afraid Jewely would color on anything like furniture/walls. i said no I had never thought of it and she had never done it.

well we leave the kids to play to come back in and they both have colored (luckily with the chalk) on the walls, furniture, and door!! DH and i totally view that as a power os suggestion/parent expectation thing. she was given a time out and now she doesn't color on anything else although she does color on the easel frame now, which she never did before.

Courtney

ps someday i am going to read through this whole thread. i had read it to my post but then it started really going and i have missed so much.

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#253 of 1093 Old 07-30-2005, 01:44 AM
 
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I am mostly a lurker and have only been recently exposed to the continuum concept. I am fairly relaxed with my DS (almost two) and do pretty good with not hovering and with trusting him with things (I do call myself "mama" a lot when I talk to him though!) However, I have a problem when it comes to parks. DS loves to slide and I can't quite bear to let him go up and down the slides by himself without worrying and hovering about him falling off. In particular, this week we were at an older park with a metal slide with not very safe seeming, low rails. I could hardly stand myself with the way I was talking to him as he tried to slide--lots of "I'm worried that you'll fall!" and "be careful" and "remember to be safe on the slide!" and "don't lean over to the side like that" (he kept holding on to one side rail and being dragged onto his stomach as gravity pulled him down, lurching alarmingly near flipping totally off). I even said out loud to him that I literally was feeling myself making him neurotic. Is there a TCC way to deal with rickety slides?!

Molly

Molly--mama to two sons (9/03 and 5/06), one tiny son forever in my heart (14w5d, 11/09), and one early m/c 2/10. Gave birth to my rainbow baby girl in 2011 and surprised to welcome another rainbow in October, 2014!
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#254 of 1093 Old 07-31-2005, 04:03 PM
 
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We really loved the continuim concept! Both dh and I read it and we are trying to raise Elijah with those principles. I especially like the part where you need to trust your child's intelligence, and know that what you expect of them, they will try to fufill. But I get so worried that elijah will stop breathing while he's sleeping, and then I worry that my worry will cause him to do so. Anyone else get this kind of backward, superstitious thinking? I am really trying to work with it!
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#255 of 1093 Old 08-04-2005, 01:04 AM
 
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For Xanga-blogging mamas - I formed a CC blogring. Join, if you wish, here:
http://www.xanga.com/groups/group.aspx?id=1574451
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#256 of 1093 Old 08-04-2005, 11:44 PM
 
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Hi,

I'm new to continuum concept and would love to learn more about this concept. Well, I'm not a wife or mother yet, will be in the future. I'm just a student of the subject now. Thank you.
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#257 of 1093 Old 08-06-2005, 12:27 PM
 
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I haven't read TCC...but this has been such a fascinating thread to read, I definately will pick it up. Ironically, my little ones and i have been staying with my folks for two weeks now and my mom in particular is driving me quite nuts with all of her fears (germs, heights, fast speeds, drop-offs, water). Not only is my three year old somewhat straight jacketed, but i feel judged as a mother for not being more on top of him. I guess the trick is not to let all this judgement get in the way of my critical and clear thinking!

Anyway, all of this gives me lots to think about in terms of how I was raised. Something that comes to mind immediately is how ready I was to rebel as a teenager. I wonder how much of the reckless behavior people attribute to hormones or just a "phase" is really a reaction to the all of the fear and mistrust we are imbued with as little ones...
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#258 of 1093 Old 08-06-2005, 05:44 PM
 
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Anyway, all of this gives me lots to think about in terms of how I was raised. Something that comes to mind immediately is how ready I was to rebel as a teenager. I wonder how much of the reckless behavior people attribute to hormones or just a "phase" is really a reaction to the all of the fear and mistrust we are imbued with as little ones...
I do believe you've hit the nail on the head.
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#259 of 1093 Old 08-09-2005, 01:50 PM
 
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Don't forget the fear and mistrust of teenagers by most of our society! I had a relatively smooth adolescence because of TCC parenting minimizing the idea of teens as a distinct species...but when I did clash w/my parents, it was almost always because they were afraid of my peers and/or weren't trusting me. I will admit that my friends sometimes suggested activities that weren't a good idea, but about 80% of the time I refused to participate; my parents rarely gave me any credit for that but instead would berate me for having been in a place where I even heard the suggestion! I'll also admit that there were times I did things they'd trusted me not to do, but those times were very few, yet whenever I asked permission to go out w/friends they'd say they couldn't trust me. My mother has a very derogatory attitude toward teens and made a lot of snide comments about them before, while, and after my brother and I were teens. I think that contributed to my feeling afraid of teens when I was a kid and then feeling afraid of "teenage behavior" when I saw it among my peers and also feeling crushingly self-conscious about my own urges to act "teenaged" in any way. Now that I'm an adult, there are times when I see teens doing things I think are dumb, but I try really hard to avoid making generalizations about teens because of this. All the teens at my church are very fine people, and I talk to them as people.

Edited to add: Does this mean coming-of-age rituals are not continuum? It's been awhile since I read the book, and I can't remember if the Yequana have any puberty ceremony or if Liedloff says anything about that.

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#260 of 1093 Old 08-10-2005, 02:59 PM
 
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. I think that contributed to my feeling afraid of teens when I was a kid and then feeling afraid of "teenage behavior" when I saw it among my peers and also feeling crushingly self-conscious about my own urges to act "teenaged" in any way.
OMG I remember feeling the same way...like I always had to be composed and adult-like. I was pretty good at it but I still got ageism even when I was doing my best to act like the perfect adult! The i felt stupid because all the adults knew I was just a little kid trying to act grown up. How messed up!
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#261 of 1093 Old 08-18-2005, 04:39 PM
 
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I read TCC and Magical Child byJ C Pearce at the same time, about 1,000 years ago (can you tell I'm feeling old this morning? :LOL ) so forgive me if my comments slip from one book to the other - they are similar and have a lot of overlap.

We lived on a small sailboat for the first 5 years of ElderSon's life. I had never been around babies or children much, never babysat, and I don't think I had ever read a book on childrearing. We were quite isolated from other families with kids, and I got little advice re: childcare. Fortunately, ElderSon was a great teacher. I slipped naturally into cosleeping, baby-wearing, cloth (or no) diapering. Cribs, playpens, and babyproofing were out of the question. Tools and poisons (paint, solvents, etc.) were always in useand in reach. People around always expected him to fall over the side, eat nails, climb the mast and fall, or whatever. I never understood their fears. Why on earth would he want to do that? The way people described other toddlers to me, they sounded suicidal. Because we were so close, physically (the boat was only 36' long) and emotionally (his dad or I were with him, literally, 100% of the time) I could sense when he was less aware of his surroundings, and maybe call his attention to a danger if necessary. But I trusted him not to fall in the water just like anyone else. He did fall in once, from a dock not the boat, and I jumped in and pulled him out. He was not upset, but didn't like it, so avoided that in the future. Sailing in heavy weather, adults wore harnesses when up on deck, and so did the kid. He knew to clip his onto a line himself when he was 2 or so, though he mostly stayed below if it was rough.

My, I've gotten long-winded! Sorry. Fast-forward 13 years, and I had 2 more babies, a year apart. Although I didn't change my attitudes about child-rearing, these kids were, and still are, entirely different people than my first. I don't know if it was a response to being raised on a boat, with a more immediate sense of the world around him, an innate personality difference, or the difference bonding with 2 babies rather than just one. But, while I still didn't really baby-proof much, I have never had the same level of trust with the 2 little ones. I have had to get off my high horse, and quit the comments like:"if only the mother was more in tune, the ______ (baby-gate, drawer locks, etc) wouldn't be necessary." I've learned a little humility, which is probably not a bad thing.

I guess my point is that no child rearing approach can work without taking into account the personalities and environment involved. And this is far too individual to find in a book, no matter how good it is. The value of TCC (or any book, perhaps) is to open your mind, to see old things from new angles, and to offer options. What we choose to take from it is, and must be, individual.

One concept that resonated with me from those books, was the idea of the womb as a bridge into life, mother as the bridge into the world beyond the womb, father as the bridge from mother to the community, school as a bridge to the larger world. At each level, the child decides when to cross, and can retreat at any time (bridges go both ways). An infant cannot literally return to the womb, but baby-wearing approximates a dark, warm, safe, alive environment. An independant toddler comes back from an exciting day out with Dad, and needs to collapse in Mama's arms. At all stages, all the previous levels of nurturing need to be there, as backup. I'm nearly 50, and I still need my mommy occasionally. And that doesn't make me immature or pathologically dependant. I think it's healthy and wonderful. So I don't worry at all that 9YO Ds still sleeps with me. In the day he is independant, at night he wants a higher level of reassurance. OK by me.

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#262 of 1093 Old 08-19-2005, 11:46 AM
 
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We're now trying to decide how to cope w/EnviroBaby's determination to crawl off of the bed. He does this whether we are in the room watching, in the room doing something else, or in another room. He isn't fully crawling (yet) but scootching on his elbows, so his progress is slow; it's not that he isn't looking where he's going. He gets to the edge, he looks over (this is a mattress on box spring but no frame, so it's about 18" high), and then after a while he nudges himself forward, falls onto the hardwood floor on his head, begins screaming, and has to be comforted for about ten minutes. It hasn't caused him any actual injury so far as we can tell, but it could, and it's upsetting for everyone.

We put a thin foam exercise mat on the floor next to the bed to reduce the risk of injury. When he is sleeping, pillows around the perimeter of the bed keep him from rolling off--he bumps into one and immediately rolls back the other way--but when awake he's begun to regard them as challenges rather than barriers, so we've started moving the pillows when he's awake so that he can see the edges of the bed more clearly.

Should we let him continue falling until he realizes he doesn't want to do that? Should we discourage him when we can (for instance, by turning him around so that he's moving away from the edge) but let him fall occasionally? Should we put the box spring in storage to make the bed lower so that he can practice falling without getting hurt? (This last one seems wrong to me.)

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#263 of 1093 Old 08-19-2005, 12:47 PM
 
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Originally Posted by EnviroBecca
Should we let him continue falling until he realizes he doesn't want to do that? Should we discourage him when we can (for instance, by turning him around so that he's moving away from the edge) but let him fall occasionally? Should we put the box spring in storage to make the bed lower so that he can practice falling without getting hurt? (This last one seems wrong to me.)
I would aim to teach him how to get down safely - by turning him around so his feet get off the bed first. I think in a more tribal culture he would have more exposure to children in various stages of development - including ones who turn around to get off the object feet first. But poor baby only has you and your partner. And you both get straight off the bed. Why shouldn't he?

So - yes, I'd turn him around, but not to keep him on the bed. I'd turn him around to show him how to get off without bumping his head. Give him information , too - ''You're near the edge. You want to get down? Try it this way." My 2.5 yo routinely climbs on and off our extra tall bed this way.

My dad somehow taught my DD to go downstairs backwards at about 10 months of age. It seems to have only taken a day or so. I don't really know how he did it since I was at work.

Third generation WOHM. I work by choice.
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#264 of 1093 Old 08-19-2005, 12:55 PM
 
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you do it that way so they cansee how. I myself woulg get off the bed backwords when Jewely was around so she could see how to do it, well i told her "this is how you get down"

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#265 of 1093 Old 08-19-2005, 04:12 PM
 
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we had this same issue, ds fell off the bed about three times and we just kept showing him feet first and I said the words feet first consistantly and firmly. One afternoon I was in the kitchen and I heard him so I took off to get there before he fell out of the bed and wouldn't you know there he was crawling down the hall towards me. Now anywhere we are all I have to say is feet first and he turns that little butt right around. He started at about 8 1/2 mos after about 2 months of working on it.

(funny, he dows feet first all the time even when not necessary ie. when a room changes from kitchen to living room or outdoors when it changes from sain to grass...very adorable!

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Wow, i could not resonate with you more clearly. Thank you for your wise words. I really liked what you said about the bridge concept...it warms my heart.
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#266 of 1093 Old 08-20-2005, 07:38 AM
 
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we do the "feet first" thing here, too. i started showing her how to do it around 7 months, when she fell off the mattress+box spring once. i made a little game of it, like "roll over ... now turn around, wiggle wiggle ... now shimmy down, feet first!" and she'd smile and wiggle herself into position with a little help. now she does it all the time, and can climb back up into bed.

i'm having problems with the CC concept of not child-proofing per se. this babe is very curious and VERY able, ahead of her ability to understand why i don't want her to touch something or go somewhere. so i've child-proofed the house to the point we live in the living room, office and the 2 bedrooms, and it's getting *really* bare. is that a good thing? i.e. the adults should learn to live without things we don't need? sort of like a hut, i guess *lol*

i'm too tired, i have to "pick my battles wisely" so i've just removed anything that's a danger, even duct-taped over some tempting things like outlets with plugs in them that i can't block with furniture. i still try to do my activities right beside her, though. like, i keep sewing stuff in a storage box that she can't open the lid, yesterday i was re-stringing our nursing necklace and she just watched. when she reached to grab the needle i said "it's sharp, i don't want you to get hurt" and moved it away. over and over and over it took a lot longer to do than if i'd waited until my husband got home and done it elsewhere, but for some reason i just felt like she really should see me doing things, you know?

ETA: i also want to get back to my WAHM work, it's been 10 months! but Willow is 30" tall and i measured her reach with a yardstick, it's 36" when she reaches straight up. yikes! she also has the ability to push things around and climb on top of them to reach for things. my clay table is 31" height. i can push everything back away, and remove things she can climb on, but then she can't see directly what i'm doing and *wails* until my heart breaks. i thought of bringing her "high chair" in, it's a kitchen chair with a booster seat strapped to it with a seatbelt for her, for safety. but she only sits in that for about 20 minutes, when she's done with her Oatios or peaches or whatever, she's DONE and needs to be outta there! so i'm turning away business at this point i thought of giving her some clay to work with, the clay says "non-toxic" but it's polycyanoacrylate, so she can't have any until she's much older and isn't eating everything she can touch! is salt-dough kid clay safe for a 10-month old?

how can i work, AND keep her safe, AND not inhibit her natural curiosity?

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#267 of 1093 Old 08-20-2005, 01:25 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EnviroBecca
Should we let him continue falling until he realizes he doesn't want to do that? Should we discourage him when we can (for instance, by turning him around so that he's moving away from the edge) but let him fall occasionally? Should we put the box spring in storage to make the bed lower so that he can practice falling without getting hurt? (This last one seems wrong to me.)
There are many ways of dealing with this. You've had great suggestions already. We taught ds1 where the edge was by saying "edge" and putting our hand (arm vertical) at the edge. (We taught him "feet first" for the stairs.) We also had a baby monitor so that when he started to wake up and I wasn't there, I could quickly get to the bedroom to get him. Our bed was really tall, so he wouldn't have been able to go feet first without falling for some time, especially since he was a little guy. Ds2 was much less interested in getting down (or being away from me at all), so we really didn't have to do anything for him, and we also had padded carpeting and a shorter bed.

Other suggestions from the cc discussion list (www.continuum-concept.org) have been to temporarily pad the area around the bed or to put the mattress directly on the floor so your ds can get off without falling.

I personally wouldn't let him keep falling on the hard floor (though it may happen occasionally anyway). I don't think it would serve any learning purpose, except teaching him that the floor is hard, which he probably already knows. I think it's much more helpful to guide him down/away from the edge and/or give him a softer landing.
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#268 of 1093 Old 08-20-2005, 01:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mellybean
i thought of giving her some clay to work with, the clay says "non-toxic" but it's polycyanoacrylate, so she can't have any until she's much older and isn't eating everything she can touch! is salt-dough kid clay safe for a 10-month old?

how can i work, AND keep her safe, AND not inhibit her natural curiosity?
I'd say try the salt clay or some modeling beeswax. The salt clay is (probably) too salty for her to eat much and modeling beeswax (available wherever Waldorf supplies are) is quite safe. She might be fascinated enough by trying to do what you're doing that she'll sit in her chair for a while.
Let her see what you're doing and give her a couple of tools (stick and rolling pin).

If it doesn't work at all, try again in a couple of weeks.
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#269 of 1093 Old 08-21-2005, 05:39 PM
 
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We lived in an apartment w/o stairs until ds was 9 mo. Then we moved to a two storey house. He went down the stairs feet first facing up for a while but then wanted to do like we do and hung on the picketts of the bannister as he walked down the stairs (when he started to walk, 10 moish.) He has fallen all the way several times and only a few stairs and then caught himself several times. Always because he was playing on the stairs and not paying attention to what he was doing. I do let him roam about the house on his own since he could and wanted to. Mostly he stays where I am. If he is gone for more than a few minutes and things get quiet I sneak a look. He is a climber and frequently tries to scale shelves - can't get past the second one - and gets on the back of the couch and walks along it. A couple times he fell and now only does it when we are sitting there and can hold our hands. Sometimes he climbs some boxes on the back porch that are waiting for construction to finish to be unpacked and he calls me just to show me that he has gotten to a new place. I acknowledge it and then go back to what I was doing. Sometimes he asks for help getting down.
He helped his Papa build a patio in the backyard by handing him rocks and bricks. He would carry them over, heave them up an incline, crawl up himself and them carry the rock over to Papa. He wants to help with whatever we are doing. One day he stepped off a step onto a concrete slab while carrying a brick and squished his finger. It took nine stitches just in the tip. He was very careful with his hand while it was bandaged but still tried to do everything we did. He was 16 mo when that happened. Today we were digging out a huge rock in the backyard. It is so big we can't get it out of the ground, we are just digging around it to highlight as part of a rock garden. Ds insisted on using my trowel instead of his little shovel and did exactly what I had been doing. He seemed to really want to know that he was contributing and not playing. It was really neat to observe. (He doesn't talk at all yet.)
I've noticed that he seems to be getting bored being home with me all the time. We go to local playgroups, swimming etc. But I hate sitting around gossipping while the kids do "kid things". I have great respect for unstructured play. That's not it. It's just the whole playgroup thing. It doesn't sit well with me. I also don't have a lot of kid toys. Some balls, puzzles, rattles, legos, stuffed animals, trucks, tractors, trains (all metal or wood). There is a basket upstairs and one down. He loves spoons, both table and wood, measuring cups, pots, pans and their lids, the animals water bowl.
I wonder though, as he gets older, he is 17 mo, does he need more "developmentally appropriate" toys? I feel so stupid for thinking it. Like right now, he loves to put things into things. So he puts his tennis ball into a piece of tupperware and then dumps it from there into another one and back again. But should I get him one of those shape sorter thingys. He does that with the wooden puzzle. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes he just wanders around aimlessly.
Often, in the kitchen, he is fussy and wants to be held, not in a sling on my back but in my arms. He does not want to stand on a chair so he can see and play on the counter. Could he really be bored? With me? With home life? We are going to go to a once a week music class in the fall.
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#270 of 1093 Old 08-21-2005, 07:11 PM
 
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We have a shape sorter thing from Tupperware, and Eamon rarely uses it. He'd much prefer to put a cell phone in a cup, and a plush polar bear in a box, etc. The actual time he's spent with the Tupperware thing could be counted in minutes, and we've had it for ages. I think usually they like the "real" things better.

That said, he did sure have fun walking through the toy section at Target the other day, pushing buttons that make noises, sounds, and lights go on and off. He has nothing like that at home and really was having fun. And then 10 minutes later, he'd had enough and acted frightened of the toys. We wandered around for a while longer, than my hubby met me and I wanted to show him E's enjoyment, but E just looked at the toys and sort of made a face of "been there done that", then looked away. It was fun while it lasted, but I think he realized it didn't do anything different. Same noises, same lights...boring after a bit.

I've been wondering if my guy is bored, too. I don't like going out much, and don't much enjoy meeting other women IRL, but I think I'm going to have to find somewhere to take him to expand his horizons! Ooh, maybe there are hiking trails somewhere nearby...that would be more natural than a playground, wouldn't it?
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