I want to be upfront about the fact that I'm not a mother. In fact, I'm a man. I hope that isn't held against me too much....
My girlfriend is 12ish weeks pregnant. Together we raise my soon to be 7 year old as well. We had considered getting an abortion for fear of what this pregnancy will do to us financially. In the end, we couldn't do it.
Now all I can think about is how guilty I feel for having this baby. There's a very good chance my girlfriend will have to quit her job because we can't afford child care. We do not qualify for pregnancy medicaid, ccdf, food stamps, or any other assistance that I'm aware of. My income alone tends to push us above the income limits. Some folks may be wondering why we're financially worried if we make too much to get help. It's a fair question. We haven't exactly over extended ourselves financially(pre baby at least), but we were at the high end of living within our means. Because of our monthly obligations we are going to be in crisis mode once the baby comes.
On top of that, I feel like I've robbed my son of many things that I feel kids should have throughout child hood. The opportunity to play sports, participate in after school activities, etc. Because the reality is either we won't be able to afford it or we won't have the time to get him to and from. If we manage to find affordable child care for the baby, there's still the fact that my girlfriend is gone 12+ hours a day, Mon-Fri. I work 9-5 but I still struggled to get him to and from football practice this last year and still manage something resembling a stable home environment(home cooked dinner, etc). Now if I have to pick him up from school, then get the baby from a separate child care there's no way to get him where he needs to be when he needs to be there. And if my girlfriend isn't working, well it'll take every dime I make just to stay afloat in this life we've built.
Sure, I could let most of it go, but my credit would go with it. Along with any hope of buying a house in the next 7-10 years(something we hoped 2015 would bring for us). I really wanted another child right up until I realized we were having another child and couldn't afford to. Now everything in my heart tells me that I don't want this child, I can't handle this child, I can't afford this child, and it's not like I can go back to her and bring up the abortion topic again. It's not fair to her. I know this. Even if I could, I'm pretty sure it's too late.
I feel like no matter what I did, there was no decision that would've left me feeling good about myself or my decision. It feels like the walls are closing in and I'm dying inside. What's a guy to do?
My girlfriend is 12ish weeks pregnant. Together we raise my soon to be 7 year old as well. We had considered getting an abortion for fear of what this pregnancy will do to us financially. In the end, we couldn't do it.
Now all I can think about is how guilty I feel for having this baby. There's a very good chance my girlfriend will have to quit her job because we can't afford child care. We do not qualify for pregnancy medicaid, ccdf, food stamps, or any other assistance that I'm aware of. My income alone tends to push us above the income limits. Some folks may be wondering why we're financially worried if we make too much to get help. It's a fair question. We haven't exactly over extended ourselves financially(pre baby at least), but we were at the high end of living within our means. Because of our monthly obligations we are going to be in crisis mode once the baby comes.
On top of that, I feel like I've robbed my son of many things that I feel kids should have throughout child hood. The opportunity to play sports, participate in after school activities, etc. Because the reality is either we won't be able to afford it or we won't have the time to get him to and from. If we manage to find affordable child care for the baby, there's still the fact that my girlfriend is gone 12+ hours a day, Mon-Fri. I work 9-5 but I still struggled to get him to and from football practice this last year and still manage something resembling a stable home environment(home cooked dinner, etc). Now if I have to pick him up from school, then get the baby from a separate child care there's no way to get him where he needs to be when he needs to be there. And if my girlfriend isn't working, well it'll take every dime I make just to stay afloat in this life we've built.
Sure, I could let most of it go, but my credit would go with it. Along with any hope of buying a house in the next 7-10 years(something we hoped 2015 would bring for us). I really wanted another child right up until I realized we were having another child and couldn't afford to. Now everything in my heart tells me that I don't want this child, I can't handle this child, I can't afford this child, and it's not like I can go back to her and bring up the abortion topic again. It's not fair to her. I know this. Even if I could, I'm pretty sure it's too late.
I feel like no matter what I did, there was no decision that would've left me feeling good about myself or my decision. It feels like the walls are closing in and I'm dying inside. What's a guy to do?