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Taking your kids to the toy store

1K views 14 replies 10 participants last post by  mamalisa 
#1 ·
Hello parents,

What are some of the challenges you face when taking your child/children to the toy store? What would make it easier? I would love to hear from you. Thank you.
 
#2 ·
Before we enter I explain why we're going to the toy store (gift for friend, reward for my kid, spending a gift card, etc) and I set a limit ("you can choose one toy" or "you can spend $10"). Then in the store I remind of the limit but let him carry around toys while deciding. And I try to never be in a rush, that makes everything much more difficult.
 
#3 ·
This is not a challenge I wrestle with terribly much. I am with marsupial_mom on explaining why we're there, and while I try not to rush, I also make a point of not having infinite time to do this - we need something else on the schedule for the day, so it doesn't turn into spending all afternoon moping about stuff we didn't get.
 
#4 ·
We usually don't even go, but Monday we did visit ToysRus for my 2 year old's birthday to pick his own gift. He didn't even understand the choose one to take home concept, he just went around the store excitedly saying "What's that?" and picking up things to look at and put back. The older two loved a lot of things there too but we weren't buying for them at the time. We ended up finding 2' tall dragon made of some kind of soft plastic when we were ready to go, so that's what we bought. It was good that the store was empty that day, a lot of things to look at but no noise to overwhelm. Teaching them good manners and self control is the biggest factor in handling shopping. As it interested them they liked it a lot better than grocery shopping that's for sure.
 
#5 ·
Hi-
I've never had a problem in a toy store, Target, or anywhere else. My DD is 7. I've never bought her a toy in a store I don't think- ever. She gets gifts on Xmas and her birthday; she has a lot (plenty!) of toys. Why should kids get a toy 'just because'? If she has a bad day, allowing her to buy a toy sends a horrible message I think. If she's sad, we talk about it, maybe play a board game, etc.

Materialistic kids are more depressed than their peers who don't focus on 'things'...and in my world, most kids are materialistic to some extent. They don't need it and honestly it does them no good. The more toys they have/ the easier it is to get them, the less they value al their possessions. When we go to DisneyWorld, she does not get a $20 light up toy to watch the parade. She should be happy with the ticket to the park, KWIM?

Never buy them any toys - have them wait for a holiday (bday, Xmas) If they really want something, they can wait - it will serve them good, teach them delayed gratification. Then no problems!

-Jen
 
#6 ·
Hi-
I've never had a problem in a toy store, Target, or anywhere else. My DD is 7. I've never bought her a toy in a store I don't think- ever. She gets gifts on Xmas and her birthday; she has a lot (plenty!) of toys. Why should kids get a toy 'just because'? If she has a bad day, allowing her to buy a toy sends a horrible message I think. If she's sad, we talk about it, maybe play a board game, etc.

Materialistic kids are more depressed than their peers who don't focus on 'things'...and in my world, most kids are materialistic to some extent. They don't need it and honestly it does them no good. The more toys they have/ the easier it is to get them, the less they value al their possessions. When we go to DisneyWorld, she does not get a $20 light up toy to watch the parade. She should be happy with the ticket to the park, KWIM?

Never buy them any toys - have them wait for a holiday (bday, Xmas) If they really want something, they can wait - it will serve them good, teach them delayed gratification. Then no problems!

-Jen
Who says anyone should get a toy 'just because'? Seriously, where did that even come up?

However, I don't think there's anything wrong with buying kids toys from time to time. Deliberately shopping the toy aisle just to see if anything strikes someone's fancy would be awful, but there are new and interesting experiences that the occasional act of spontaneous generosity helps us get started on, or changes and struggles that some equipment helps us get through. Kites. Sleds. Board games for when people are sick and not up to being really active.

These days, my kids have allowances, and can decide how to spend them. Sometimes they save up to go toy shopping, which is an example of delayed gratification. Making children wait until a holiday or birthday to see what people get them isn't quite the same thing. Delayed gratification is exercising self-control so that you can have more options. Waiting for presents is just waiting for presents.
 
#9 ·
Snydley, I buy my kids toys. Sometimes I do it on birthdays and holidays, sometimes I do it at random. If I felt it were a problem, I wouldn't do it. OP has asked if we have problems dealing with toy stores. You've come out opposed to buying toys. Which seems rather beside the point.
 
#11 ·
I do think the original question kind of misses the fact that most toy purchases happen in the grocery store.

That said, I also see that you (Snydley) have described a pattern of toy and game purchases that I think is fairly typical: Mad Libs because you saw them and your daughter was into them, board games for screen free week, and so on. I'm guessing that you wouldn't actually be opposed to a parent picking up some sand toys in advance of a beach trip, or a sled because the hardware store had them out next to the snow shovels. You would probably not bat an eye at the notion that someone might pick up some coloring books or a matchbox car or two in advance of a plane trip, and if a baseball loving parent came home one day with an eensy baseball mitt and stars in their eyes, you'd probably see that as benign, if not heart-melting.
 
#12 ·
My kids get an allowance ($2 or $3 a week, started at age 4). They can bring their money and buy their own stuff. If I decide I would like to buy them something extra, I will announce it, with the dollar amount before we go inside.
 
#13 ·
I've never had a problem in a toy store or the toy department in the grocery store. We never visited a toy store unless we were making a purchase for dd and she was always good about staying in her budget at the grocery store.

I have no problem buying dd things that are in our budget when she wants them though so that might have helped eliminate problems. She has no problem delaying gratification or thoughtfully reflecting on the necessity of an expensive purchase.
 
#14 ·
This is an interesting topic & many different views! Similar to many others, we do not have trouble at the toy store (or more typically, the toy section at Target) but I do have worries about trying not to encourage materialism in DS because he LOVES to browse, particularly Lego items.

I almost never buy him anything at the store. Like others, I explain why we're there & try to get him involve in picking something out for whomever's gift we are shopping for. Then I allow some leisure time for him to browse & if he wants something I suggest he might ask for it for a holiday (Christmas... Though I need ways to manage expectations there but that's another topic...) or birthday. If he does the regular shopping with me at Target I'll indulge in 5-10 minutes in the Lego aisle. He's used to it & doesn't usually ask for anything. One thing that helps is describing something similar at home or a project to the same effect (e.g. building a Lego "set" from Lego he already has).

Now he realizes he has some of his own money so I help guide him in spending it wisely (saving some, trying to not spend the rest all at once). I'm lucky his materialistic dreams may be big but his realism presents him from begging for shiny new things.

It's hard because he sees me & DH spending money on things that seem like choices or luxury items (ahem... a new bra or a kitchen item or shampoo... so luxurious! [emoji3]) so feels he wants to get something too sometimes. I try to explain the difference between play things & necessities & he kinda gets it. We're working on the whole money thing a lot lately.
 
#15 ·
I never really had a problem, but I also rarely bought them toys when they were with me. occasionally I would see them looking at something that they really wanted I would surprise them with it. About once a year I would say "pick something out" and they would look at me like I was crazy and wonder who took their mother. It just didn't happen.
 
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